Racing in Wheelchairs
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Title: Racing in Wheelchairs
Characters: Fernando Alonso, Kimi Räikkönen
Rating: Blue Flag
Summary: Fernando finds out more about vampire Kimi. Sequel to Shouting from Rooftops.
Warning: Violence in the extra 1976 scene.
Disclaimer: Not real, didn't happen - all in my head.
A/N Inspired by this prompt, posted on motorskink. Decided to add a sequel to answer some questions. Extra 1976 scene accessible by clicking spoiler link in the text.
Fernando is sitting on the bed, back against the headboard. Kimi is sitting next to him, sipping at a glass of vodka as he watches the Spaniard open his private notebook. A month has passed since he terrified Fernando by biting him. Thankfully, when Fernando had awakened the next day, he had been his usual self. There had been no tension between: no fear, no anguish. They had continued seeing each other and Kimi would drink from Fernando more often than not while they had sex. Fernando’s curiosity didn’t fade either, so Kimi has given in and agreed to give him answers. Which is why Fernando is now about to hear the story of his life. Kimi stares at the first page, his throat tightening up. He’s not sure he can go through with it. He feels Fernando’s hand squeezing his thigh reassuringly. “You don’t have to.” But Kimi wants to, he wants to share this with Fernando. He wants him to understand. So he starts reading out loud from the beginning.
1668, Finland - To my child, my Kimi: May the life you embark on be long and prosperous. Like your father and I, you have been given a lifetime worth a dozen. Embrace it for it is a gift. You will see the world in a way very few can. We will be by your side for as long as you need us to be, but your life will be your own. It will be lonely at times, as it is for any man, but remember that the most precious gift of all is that of family, friends and lovers. You will meet several, and lose just as many, but if you listen to only one advice from me, child, let it be this: no matter how often or how hard your heart is broken, never shy away from love. It will be the only thing to bring you true happiness. With all my love, mother.
Kimi’s voice is shaky, but he continues reading, the next excerpts switching to his own hand-writing from when he was in his teens. Most of it is about his coming to terms with his vampire traits, especially the cravings. But all things considering, it’s not an atypical childhood, Fernando muses.
1722, Finland - The Great Nordic Wars have finally ended. I’m setting sail on the ‘morrow to re-establish my trade route. Let’s hope she’s still the fastest ship out there.
“You were a sea trader?” Fernando asks, amazed. Kimi shrugs. “Not much to do in those days. Farming was boring and war wasn’t for me.” Kimi keeps reading and Fernando’s face lights up like a child hearing a fairy tale during some passages, while he grows somber during some others, usually about a lost friend or loved one. Kimi is thankful Fernando doesn’t ask him to elaborate on those.
1879, Bering Strait - The Vega is moving again. Nordenskiold thinks we will be home in a few months, if the steamship doesn’t become trapped in ice again.
“Northern Passage?!” Fernando exclaims. Kimi smiles as he takes a sip of his drink, the liquid burning down his throat. He remembers thinking he would never feel warm again when they were trapped in that ice sheet.
1895, Paris - Entered the Paris-Bordeaux-Paris motor race. It was quite a spectacle to see all the horseless carriages. It was unfortunate not to have completed the full distance. I shall enter again if another event is organized. It was quite a thrill.
Fernando laughs, in awe of what he is hearing. “And I thought your first race was in karting!” Kimi laughs as well. “Paris was my first race. First dnf too. I never karted. It was a cover, something vampires have to do to be able to live a normal life.” While Kimi reads about racing across Europe, getting introduced to F1 by James and their relationship, Fernando ponders what else about Kimi is only a cover, not that it matters or changes anything really.
[1976, England]***
Kimi ducks behind the couch as another bottle comes flying at him, exploding as it makes contact against the wall behind him. He makes a quick dash to the adjacent bathroom, his bare feet unable to avoid the glass shards on the floor. Kimi closes the door and leans against it, calling out through it. “James, calm down. I’ll explain.” Kimi hears more glass crashing against the bathroom door followed by a phone, from the sounds of it. He takes a deep breath, leaning over the sink and splashing some cold water on his face. Maybe he should have waited until James wasn’t drunk or high to tell him his secret. Then again, how often was that? Kimi sits on the toilet, picking the glass out of his feet as the door continues to get battered with whatever James can get his hands on. The noise on the other side eventually subsides. Kimi listens for a bit, but can’t hear anything. Maybe James left. He opens the door slowly, stepping out into the living room. “James?”
Kimi feels his skull get smashed from behind and falls to the floor. He rolls on his back to see James standing over him, a lamp in hand. The look on his face is of pure fury and hatred and it makes Kimi’s stomach turn. James throws the lamp to the side and straddles Kimi before sending a punch straight into the Finn’s jaw. “Monster,” hisses James scornfully before punching Kimi again. Kimi tries to hide his face with his arms, but James grabs his wrists and pins them above Kimi’s head with one hand while he continues to punch. “You filthy scum, I let you into my life, my bed.” Kimi’s face is bloody from the blows and his head hurts, but he knows that’s only temporary. The physical pain won’t last long. What hurts more are the words. Kimi knows he could easily fight back. He’s much stronger than James after all; it’d be child’s play. But he lays there and takes the abuse. He takes it because he knows it’s the only way James can come to terms with the enormity of what he just learned. He takes it until James is panting and out of breath, his knuckles raw and his hand numb.
When the fight has gone out of James, he doesn’t move. Their blue eyes lock in a silent battle, like the constant fight between sky and sea, merging eventually into one. James is the first to give in, dipping down to kiss Kimi, their lips just briefly touching before he gets off of Kimi and lies down next to him. He passes out within minutes, and Kimi can’t help but wonder if James will remember any of this when he wakes up or if he’ll simply think it was one hell of a party.
***
- I told James last night. He was as furious as I’ve ever seen him. He remembered it all this morning and wasn’t angry anymore, but he also said he needed time alone.
“You just told him?” Fernando asks and Kimi nods. “He didn’t speak to me for weeks after that. We eventually got back together, but by that time people were starting to ask questions about me, so I had to leave.” Fernando doesn’t ask for more details; he can tell it’s a scar that’ll never fully heal. He feels a bit sad that Kimi never told him his secret, but understands why he wouldn’t, after the way James reacted. Kimi continues reading, the years passing by on the pages as Fernando leans against him.
2012, Switzerland - The research I have been funding has finally accomplished what I was hoping for. The lab has successfully finished the clinical trials. Good thing we weren’t short of volunteers. They have been able to re-activate cell aging to a normal state. Other traits like cravings and sun sensitivity remain, but with aging now in line with the rest of the population, we now have a choice to grow old or not. I haven’t decided whether or not to go through the treatment.
“Have you made a decision, since then?” Fernando asks him. Kimi shakes his head. “Not yet. You read now,” Kimi tells Fernando as he hands him over the book. “I wrote the last ones in English.” Fernando reads a few more entries, mostly about F1 and the continuing success of the research, until he gets to something that hits close to home.
2013, Hungary - Fernando found out. He took it much better than James did. He has a lot of questions, but I don’t think he’s ready to hear all the answers yet. Another one I’ll have to say good bye to one day. It never gets easier, does it?
Fernando shifts on the bed. He feels a little uncomfortable reading about Kimi’s thoughts on him and Kimi can sense it. “Keep going,” Kimi encourages, nervously playing with the glass in his hands.
2013, Belgium - Fernando knows my whole story now. I wouldn’t blame him if he decided it was too much, if he wanted to end what we have. I know we should keep things simple, but what is the point of having centuries to live if I can’t be with the one I love? Yes, Nando, love. Don’t make me repeat it… Say something.
Fernando looks up from the book and at Kimi. He’s not sure what to say. Kimi had always been emotionally unavailable, or so he thought. But tonight, he’s left the door to his heart wide open and Fernando knows he’s only got two choices. He can either stand still and watch the door close, perhaps never to open again, or he can take a step forward and take all that Kimi is offering him. For Fernando, the choice is an easy one.
He puts the book and Kimi’s glass away on the night table before turning to the Finn and lifting his chin so their eyes meet. He lets his fingers brush into Kimi’s hair, lets his fingertips trace along Kimi’s forehead, along his cheek and jaw bone. He runs a thumb across Kimi’s lips, strokes his cheek. He leans in and kisses Kimi, softly and gently. “Te amo,” Fernando whispers as he pulls Kimi closer to him.
They've had sex countless times before, but they make love for the first time that night. It’s slow and tender. There are no scratches, no bruises and no bites. They re-discover each other: kiss by kiss, inch by inch. There’s no sound aside from their heavy breathing and the occasional moan they can’t suppress. They don’t speak, letting instead their eyes and their bodies do the talking.
Fernando is tucked under Kimi’s arm afterwards, his arm draped over him. Kimi kisses Fernando’s forehead and he meshes their fingers together. “I want to grow old with you,” Kimi says. Fernando knows it’s a question, even if it wasn’t posed as one. He understands that Kimi is about to make the decision he’s been thinking about for the last year: to take the treatment or not. He props himself up and kisses Kimi, smiling. “Good. We can race wheelchairs when we’re old.”
.