[fanfic: chiaroscuro]
Neku’s jaw slacks, his eyes having bulged moments prior. His expression manifests from one of disbelief to one of sheer terror. He debates standing up and leaving the room, but thinks better of it. Joshua’s giving him that look, that I’m-powerful-and-can-erase-you-with-one-snap look. Neku’s urge to flee subsides for the time being, leaving the red-haired Conductor in a complete state of incredulity. Did Joshua say what Neku thought he said? The Conductor smacks his lips together slowly, the gears in his head refusing to churn. There’s a cork shoved between them-Joshua’s proposal.
“No,” Neku grounds out through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed in a defensive manner.
The Composer giggles airily and crosses his legs, sipping pointedly from a cup. Neku muses that it’s probably tea, because Joshua is that big of a contradictive asshole to pretend to be proper and mock other societies. However, when Neku’s gaze finally settles upon the Composer after his refusal, his dead heart jerks as if falling off a ledge into a swampy mess of fear.
“No?” Joshua questions, thin eyebrows arched in a twisted fashion.
“No,” Neku repeats, a hint of a snarl emerging. “I may be your Conductor, against my will, but I’m not some damn test-subject.”
Joshua frowns at this, his lifted pinky lowering to join his other digits. “Silly, I wasn’t inferring that you were. I was simply suggesting that, due to the fact you’re my Conductor and under my control, we could put on a tiny experiment.”
“Experiment?!” Neku quaffs, voice booming through the emptiness of the Dead God’s Pad. His fists curl. “I highly doubt that molesting your Conductor counts as an experiment,” he spits.
Joshua snickers, silvery bangs hiding his eyes. Furtive as ever, it seems. “When you agreed to be my Conductor, you also agreed to be under my control. Besides, women experiment all the time.”
“Hell no,” Neku retorts, almost out of his seat entirely now. There’s only a table separating Conductor and Composer, and Neku thinks that Joshua better be pretty-damn glad that there is, because if there were no table, Joshua’s face would have made contact with a fist of burning rage right about now.
“It’s just one little experiment; it’s not going to kill you. Honestly, Neku, stop being such a baby,” Joshua sighs dramatically and sets his cup down on the table. “Besides, if you refuse, I’ll erase you and your family.”
Neku cringes, unable to fathom how Joshua can say such ruthless words and be so nonchalant. He watches as the Composer blows idly on his hand, as if bored by their exchange. Neku bristles, the looming feeling of imminent doom approaching like a hurricane-a hurricane named Joshua.
“Well, what’ll it be, Neku?”
Neku’s lips part, as if ready to banter on and on about morals and bottled-up distaste, but he falls silent. His gaze falls on the floor, observing the random fish that swim about gaily beneath his feet. He suddenly is envious.
“Neku?” Joshua urges, an edge of annoyance appearing in the demigod’s voice.
“You’re not getting me to do anything like that,” Neku states callously, licking his lips. He’s made his decision and he won’t change it.
Joshua sighs and arises from the white sofa he had been lounging on. Within a moment, the Composer is standing next to where his Conductor is sitting, an evil glint in his eyes. “You’ve been my Conductor for a few months now,” he begins, almost in a cadence, “and I saved your Soul from being dispersed into Shibuya. Need I remind you?”
Neku winces, the memory flooding him. His death… “Maybe that would have been better than having to deal with you again, murderer,” he mumbles.
“I doubt that,” Joshua states knowingly and places a hand on his hip. “You owe me, Neku. I saved you--”
“But you also killed me! Twice,” Neku growls and raises his gaze to Joshua’s, conflagrate in his eyes. “You’re not a saint, you’re a twisted…a twisted…”
Joshua arches a brow expectantly, and deflates when Neku does not finish his insult. Neku’s gaze drops, ashamed and defeated and just plain melancholy. Joshua snickers, again, and places a hand coyly onto his Conductor’s shoulder, ignoring the tensing muscles. “You wouldn’t have enjoyed being Noise. And I wouldn’t have enjoyed sending you off to be Noise, either.”
Neku rolls his eyes. “Sure.”
“Not to repeat myself, but the least you can do for me is conduct this little test with me. After all, you are my Conductor,” Joshua giggles, mirth drenched in his voice.
Neku nearly gags at the pathetic pun. “It’s gross…”
“It’s natural,” Joshua lilts and taps his Conductor’s nose, ignoring the snarl he receives. “Now, stop being so stubborn. I thought we had established a decent relationship these past few months.”
“Yeah, until you started being a power-hungry asshole again and demanded I do weird little tests that involve touching you and your ghastly body,” Neku groans, sharply looking away. He’s obstinate, even after all these months. It’s admirable.
“Nice vocabulary, Neku. Been reading, I see,” Joshua taunts and trails a skinny finger along his Conductor’s jaw.
Neku fights back the feral instinct to bite-off the finger. “Stop being a jerk.”
“I will once you stop being a baby,” Joshua hums and allows the pad of his index finger to rest under Neku’s chin. He tilts the boy’s head up, allowing their contrasting gazes to meet. It’s earth-shattering. “By the way, my body isn’t ghastly, Neku. I can prove that to you, if you’d like.”
“I’ll pass,” Neku grumbles, eyes flicking off to the right. However, there’s a sudden force pushing down on his body-an unforeseen one. Neku knows damn-well that it’s Joshua and his godly powers. The force is causing him to make eye-contact again. He mentally curses Joshua, having no one else to. There’s no God, after all. There’s just Joshua…Joshua and his twisted UG and the Angels. There’s no heaven for him…just Joshua. Joshua’s his god now, whether he likes it or not.
“You seem flighty,” Joshua noted, a frown void of pathos stretching across his lips. “What’s ever the matter?”
“You,” Neku sighs, honestly, and closes his eyes. It’s the only way to escape Joshua, even for a few seconds. But…but does he really want to escape that badly?
“Me? Is my proposal upsetting you that much, Neku?” Joshua’s caricature of a frown grows before he curls his fingers of his right hand under Neku’s chin, as if his Conductor is a cat seeking affection. The Composer smirks when an involuntary, soft wisp of air escapes Neku’s lips. He’s satisfied.
“ ‘m not into that crap,” Neku mutters.
“Amuse me,” Joshua orders and lets his fingers dance over Neku’s lips. “I have complete power over you; I wouldn’t go defying me, if I were you.”
“Fine,” Neku concedes, the words stinging his mouth the moment they depart. It’s like signing his name in the Black Man’s book. He’s signing his name over to evil with the acceptance of defilation. A part of his pride is burning under Joshua’s gaze. It’s singed now, joining the heap of other virtues and beliefs he lost when he accepted this job. The pile isn’t anything to scoff at…it rivals his heart, now, in size.
“Good.” Joshua grins boldly, as if he knew he’d get his way all along…because he does know. He has Neku wrapped around his little finger. He knows that if he didn’t have this power, Neku would be out of Shibuya-out of his life.
Neku braces himself, knowing that the kiss is going to be dreadful. It’s going to be the Kiss of Death so many books yammered on about. It’s going to be as painful as the Siren’s song-simple and innocent at first, but deadly in the end. He knows that venom will spread through his veins when his lips touch the god’s. But is Joshua a god? Is he equally a devil?
When the kiss comes, an unexpected chaste brush of lips, Neku’s sitting there, waiting for the jolt of pain. He’s waiting for the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He’s waiting to die, for a fourth time. He’s waiting for a hole to appear in the couch and suck him up, or a demon to entangle him in a web of deceit and mistakes and never let him go. But...it never comes.
Neku’s eyes flutter open, the kiss lingering on his lips. The Composer isn’t moving away, and instead continuously moving his petal-soft lips against Neku’s. The wet sensation isn’t killing him, isn’t torturing him, but instead stimulating his senses. A wave of confusion spreads through the Conductor, baffling every cell. This isn’t right.
When Joshua pulls away, smirking smugly like the otherworldly being he is, all Neku can do is stare.
“Not so bad, hm Neku?” Joshua hums, licking his lips tediously.
Neku looks away, a soft red spreading across his face. He’s blushing and his body is warm. He looks about to either smile or vomit. He’s not sure which, and that frustrates him.
“What did you think about our little experiment, Neku?”
Neku is silent for a moment, hands flexing by his sides. “…I’m still deciding whether you’re an angel or the devil right now.”
“No,” Neku grounds out through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed in a defensive manner.
The Composer giggles airily and crosses his legs, sipping pointedly from a cup. Neku muses that it’s probably tea, because Joshua is that big of a contradictive asshole to pretend to be proper and mock other societies. However, when Neku’s gaze finally settles upon the Composer after his refusal, his dead heart jerks as if falling off a ledge into a swampy mess of fear.
“No?” Joshua questions, thin eyebrows arched in a twisted fashion.
“No,” Neku repeats, a hint of a snarl emerging. “I may be your Conductor, against my will, but I’m not some damn test-subject.”
Joshua frowns at this, his lifted pinky lowering to join his other digits. “Silly, I wasn’t inferring that you were. I was simply suggesting that, due to the fact you’re my Conductor and under my control, we could put on a tiny experiment.”
“Experiment?!” Neku quaffs, voice booming through the emptiness of the Dead God’s Pad. His fists curl. “I highly doubt that molesting your Conductor counts as an experiment,” he spits.
Joshua snickers, silvery bangs hiding his eyes. Furtive as ever, it seems. “When you agreed to be my Conductor, you also agreed to be under my control. Besides, women experiment all the time.”
“Hell no,” Neku retorts, almost out of his seat entirely now. There’s only a table separating Conductor and Composer, and Neku thinks that Joshua better be pretty-damn glad that there is, because if there were no table, Joshua’s face would have made contact with a fist of burning rage right about now.
“It’s just one little experiment; it’s not going to kill you. Honestly, Neku, stop being such a baby,” Joshua sighs dramatically and sets his cup down on the table. “Besides, if you refuse, I’ll erase you and your family.”
Neku cringes, unable to fathom how Joshua can say such ruthless words and be so nonchalant. He watches as the Composer blows idly on his hand, as if bored by their exchange. Neku bristles, the looming feeling of imminent doom approaching like a hurricane-a hurricane named Joshua.
“Well, what’ll it be, Neku?”
Neku’s lips part, as if ready to banter on and on about morals and bottled-up distaste, but he falls silent. His gaze falls on the floor, observing the random fish that swim about gaily beneath his feet. He suddenly is envious.
“Neku?” Joshua urges, an edge of annoyance appearing in the demigod’s voice.
“You’re not getting me to do anything like that,” Neku states callously, licking his lips. He’s made his decision and he won’t change it.
Joshua sighs and arises from the white sofa he had been lounging on. Within a moment, the Composer is standing next to where his Conductor is sitting, an evil glint in his eyes. “You’ve been my Conductor for a few months now,” he begins, almost in a cadence, “and I saved your Soul from being dispersed into Shibuya. Need I remind you?”
Neku winces, the memory flooding him. His death… “Maybe that would have been better than having to deal with you again, murderer,” he mumbles.
“I doubt that,” Joshua states knowingly and places a hand on his hip. “You owe me, Neku. I saved you--”
“But you also killed me! Twice,” Neku growls and raises his gaze to Joshua’s, conflagrate in his eyes. “You’re not a saint, you’re a twisted…a twisted…”
Joshua arches a brow expectantly, and deflates when Neku does not finish his insult. Neku’s gaze drops, ashamed and defeated and just plain melancholy. Joshua snickers, again, and places a hand coyly onto his Conductor’s shoulder, ignoring the tensing muscles. “You wouldn’t have enjoyed being Noise. And I wouldn’t have enjoyed sending you off to be Noise, either.”
Neku rolls his eyes. “Sure.”
“Not to repeat myself, but the least you can do for me is conduct this little test with me. After all, you are my Conductor,” Joshua giggles, mirth drenched in his voice.
Neku nearly gags at the pathetic pun. “It’s gross…”
“It’s natural,” Joshua lilts and taps his Conductor’s nose, ignoring the snarl he receives. “Now, stop being so stubborn. I thought we had established a decent relationship these past few months.”
“Yeah, until you started being a power-hungry asshole again and demanded I do weird little tests that involve touching you and your ghastly body,” Neku groans, sharply looking away. He’s obstinate, even after all these months. It’s admirable.
“Nice vocabulary, Neku. Been reading, I see,” Joshua taunts and trails a skinny finger along his Conductor’s jaw.
Neku fights back the feral instinct to bite-off the finger. “Stop being a jerk.”
“I will once you stop being a baby,” Joshua hums and allows the pad of his index finger to rest under Neku’s chin. He tilts the boy’s head up, allowing their contrasting gazes to meet. It’s earth-shattering. “By the way, my body isn’t ghastly, Neku. I can prove that to you, if you’d like.”
“I’ll pass,” Neku grumbles, eyes flicking off to the right. However, there’s a sudden force pushing down on his body-an unforeseen one. Neku knows damn-well that it’s Joshua and his godly powers. The force is causing him to make eye-contact again. He mentally curses Joshua, having no one else to. There’s no God, after all. There’s just Joshua…Joshua and his twisted UG and the Angels. There’s no heaven for him…just Joshua. Joshua’s his god now, whether he likes it or not.
“You seem flighty,” Joshua noted, a frown void of pathos stretching across his lips. “What’s ever the matter?”
“You,” Neku sighs, honestly, and closes his eyes. It’s the only way to escape Joshua, even for a few seconds. But…but does he really want to escape that badly?
“Me? Is my proposal upsetting you that much, Neku?” Joshua’s caricature of a frown grows before he curls his fingers of his right hand under Neku’s chin, as if his Conductor is a cat seeking affection. The Composer smirks when an involuntary, soft wisp of air escapes Neku’s lips. He’s satisfied.
“ ‘m not into that crap,” Neku mutters.
“Amuse me,” Joshua orders and lets his fingers dance over Neku’s lips. “I have complete power over you; I wouldn’t go defying me, if I were you.”
“Fine,” Neku concedes, the words stinging his mouth the moment they depart. It’s like signing his name in the Black Man’s book. He’s signing his name over to evil with the acceptance of defilation. A part of his pride is burning under Joshua’s gaze. It’s singed now, joining the heap of other virtues and beliefs he lost when he accepted this job. The pile isn’t anything to scoff at…it rivals his heart, now, in size.
“Good.” Joshua grins boldly, as if he knew he’d get his way all along…because he does know. He has Neku wrapped around his little finger. He knows that if he didn’t have this power, Neku would be out of Shibuya-out of his life.
Neku braces himself, knowing that the kiss is going to be dreadful. It’s going to be the Kiss of Death so many books yammered on about. It’s going to be as painful as the Siren’s song-simple and innocent at first, but deadly in the end. He knows that venom will spread through his veins when his lips touch the god’s. But is Joshua a god? Is he equally a devil?
When the kiss comes, an unexpected chaste brush of lips, Neku’s sitting there, waiting for the jolt of pain. He’s waiting for the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He’s waiting to die, for a fourth time. He’s waiting for a hole to appear in the couch and suck him up, or a demon to entangle him in a web of deceit and mistakes and never let him go. But...it never comes.
Neku’s eyes flutter open, the kiss lingering on his lips. The Composer isn’t moving away, and instead continuously moving his petal-soft lips against Neku’s. The wet sensation isn’t killing him, isn’t torturing him, but instead stimulating his senses. A wave of confusion spreads through the Conductor, baffling every cell. This isn’t right.
When Joshua pulls away, smirking smugly like the otherworldly being he is, all Neku can do is stare.
“Not so bad, hm Neku?” Joshua hums, licking his lips tediously.
Neku looks away, a soft red spreading across his face. He’s blushing and his body is warm. He looks about to either smile or vomit. He’s not sure which, and that frustrates him.
“What did you think about our little experiment, Neku?”
Neku is silent for a moment, hands flexing by his sides. “…I’m still deciding whether you’re an angel or the devil right now.”