(no subject)
In Interdisciplinary Studies, our last assignment was to write a story in which a Greco-Roman god met an Eastern diety... and thus this silly little story resulted. It isn't as good as my other works but, I enjoyed writing it. ^.^;;
In Canaan, a man was quite busy. Of course, he had been quite busy a good while at this point. This man, Noah, was quite busy building an ark. There was a time when everyone who was anyone was laughing at this poor fellow, but that had ended two weeks prior. Not that they were overly erring in their merriment - Noah was known to drink a wee bit much at times, and that could lead to apparently crack pot schemes. However, now it was raining rather heavily, and it had been doing so for days, and the market for arks had risen considerably. But this story is not about Noah.
Worlds away, on Mount Olympus to be quite precise, another man was having another problem.
“Hera,” a man’s voice called in a drawn out whine. “There’s no water pressure and I need a shower.”
The aforementioned woman looked up at her robed husband. She blinked for a moment in confusion before answering. “And what, may I ask, do you want me to do about this problem?”
“Well, um, that is to say, I thought that you could… perhaps fix it.” Zeus pouted, and looked at his wife, his eyes pleading and pathetic.
A sigh and a dropped book. “Fine. I’ll go see what’s wrong.” The dark-haired woman rose from her plush seat and she lead her husband into the basement. Following close on her heels, Zeus clapped, a grin spread over his eager face.
As they descended into the basement of their palace, Hera began to note a slight ‘ping’ in the distance, growing louder as they traveled deeper. Further into the dark, Hera’s shoes began to feel decidedly damp. The soft ‘ping’ had grown into a resounding drip.
”Well, this may just be your problem, dear. It seems that we’ve gotten one of our pipes busted.” Water spurted out of the sad, broken pipe like water flowing down rocks in a river.
“Damn, I knew that Yahweh hooligan was up to something, what with his tablet swinging nonsense and stuff.” Zeus pouted. “Now what do I do? I’m dirty and I need my shower! I can’t go out and be all King of the Gods guy when I’m all dirty! Hades will make fun of me.”
A slight twist of the muscles in her forehead brought Hera’s eyebrows into arches. “I think we may have bigger problems; it seems that our little leak has spread. There’s a guy with an ark out there, and he’s collecting animal pairs.” This, however, seemed not to perturb Zeus in the least, as he continued whining about his great showering needs.
“Hera, I don’t see how an ark is going to help me get clean.”
“Well, it seems to me that you are going to need to get someone up here to fix the pipes.”
Zeus’ eyes widened slightly at the implication in his wife’s words. “Can’t you do that for me… honey… sweetie… muffin-pie?”
A scoff. “Sorry dear, I’ve got places to go, hearths to bless.” She rose onto her tip-toes to kiss her husband on the cheek. “Have fun, dear.”
As his wife walked out of the palace, and he was left with his robe growing sodden as the water pooled on the floor, Zeus felt more than a little put out. However, his hopes of swift resolution and the achievement of his showering goal goaded him into action. A moment passed as Zeus stood before the phone, pondering who exactly he should call, but his mind soon lightened upon one candidate. It helped that this man would feel more than a little obligated to try and fix the mess Yahweh had made.
A bell tolled soon after the call was made, announcing the arrival of the man that Zeus believed could help solve his conundrum. The large oak door opened to reveal a slightly dirty robed and bearded man. On his back he carried a sling-like bag containing his tools.”
“Hey Zeus, man, sorry about that whole,” He waved his hand about vaguely, “destruction thing. Dad sort of wants to ‘cleanse’ the earth a bit…” A pause. The man frowned slightly before shaking his head. “I’m sure he’ll grow out of it in a millennia or so.” He added with more than a little uncertainty in his voice.
As the man spoke, Zeus stared at his right shoulder, where a small white dove was perched. He began brushing slightly at his own shoulder in a small attempt to warn the other man of his avian guest. “Um, hey Jesus, you seem to… yeah… you have this thing,” again he brushed his own shoulder, “You know, your shoulder.”
“Oh, oh! Oh no, man, this is Larry, he’s cool. It’s all good.” Jesus’ head nodded slightly, making him quite reminiscent of a bobble head doll. “Yeah, he sort of follows me around.”
Zeus nodded quizzically. “Well… alright then. The leak is right this way.” He led the young man and Larry down to the basement and pointed out the pipe. As he left, Jesus stared at the broken pipe.
The day dragged on. Minutes passed laboriously. Zeus felt as though he was waiting through many ages of man. He paced briefly before walking out onto his balcony, still in his robe, and throwing out a few lightning bolts. The flood on the earth was now accompanied by great forest fires. Finally the man-bird duo emerged from the depths of the basement appearing sodden and less than exuberant.
“So, on the phone, man, I wasn’t really sure what you wanted, and… well… you seem I’m a carpenter.” He stated the fact slowly, enunciating each syllable. “I made you this chair, it’s quite nice really. Ash wood, very nice.” Jesus scratched the back of his head as Larry pecked at the back of the rather nice, ash wood chair. “I mean, I could transmute you up some wine if you want, raise some dead guys, bring some people to salvation… but that’s about it. I called up some other guys who may be able to help you, though.” Suddenly, three strange chaps burst through the door.
“Helloooo.” The first one called out.
“Helloooo.” The second repeated.
“Helloooo.” Again, the third said as he entered the palace.
“Hello!” They all said together. Zeus’ stared at the three flustered into silence. “We are Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva - "At yer service, day or night, we do the job and do it right!” The third, Shiva, grabbed Zeus’ hand and shaked it vigourously. “We’re here to fix your pipes.” He turned, whacking Vishnu with a wrench. “Hey, what’s the big idea?” He struck out, trying to poke Shiva’s eyes, only to be thwarted by the latter’s hand.
“Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”
“Hey, you nitwits, we’ve got a customer here. Now behave yourselves or I’ll murderize youze.” Brahma slapped the other two before turning back to Zeus. “So, where’s this pipe ya got?”
Zeus’ mouth opened and closed silently a few times before he merely pointed vaguely to the door to the basement. Brahma nodded. “Okay, I’ll lead the way.” He grabbed onto Vishnu and pushed him forward, “You go first.”
“So… these guys are good, right?” Zeus asked, staring at the empty doorway down into the basement. Loud clanking interspaced by various cries now reverberated up from the dark room.
“Oh yeah, they’re cool.” Jesus paused, following Zeus eyes to the doorway. “They’re into cows. Well, Larry and I have got to split now. See you later.”
“Why I oughta!” Two repairmen ran up from the basement, chased by the third who brandished a large steel pipe. Finally, Brahma managed to grab Shiva, and brought the tool down onto his head. The wrench came away utterly ruined. “You imbecile! Ya ruined my good wrench with your hard head.” He slapped Shiva.
“Sorry, gov, but these two nitwits have decided to go on strike in this particular instance. Shiva wants to get into some good world destruction, and Vishnu doesn’t want to do all the work Shiva’s not doin’. Anyway’s, we’ve decided to go catch a flick. See ya kid.” The trio saluted in farewell, and left. “Remind me to kill youse two later.”
“Meh.” Zeus was left alone, still in his robe, still unwashed, and still facing the problem of low water pressure in his shower - not to mention the whole world destroying flood thing.
Just as Zeus was about to give up the whole day and go back to bed, he heard someone singing through his open front door.
“Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!/ Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!/ Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!" Another strange looking man in a blue jacket stood at his door, smiling at the Greek god.
Though somewhat afraid to ask, as he had seen already how wretched his day was turning out, Zeus spoke to the man. “Who exactly are you?”
"Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow
Bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow
None has ever caught him yet, for Tom he is the master
His songs are stronger songs and his feet are faster."
“Um… yeah… so, what’cha doing here?”
“Old Tom heard of your troubles
Thinks he may help you stop the squabbles
Have a pretty ring in my pocket, can’t remember where I got it
Seems the whole in your pipes just may find a fit.”
Tom capered down the stairs into the basement, pulling the strange ring out of his jacket pocket. He slipped the strangely shimmering trinket over the pipe, mummering to himself as he worked. To Zeus’ amazement, the pipes stopped leaking.
Tom straightened himself, smiling at his work.
“Down west sinks the Sun; soon you will be groping
When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open
Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow
Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waiting for you!”
With that, the strange man left, and though he hadn’t understood half of what Tom had said, Zeus was quite glad that he had happened past.
Finally, hours after he had wished to complete this activity, Zeus stepped into his shower and turned on the water. To his delight, the water was warm and the pressure was well maintained. The poor god had survived his trying day and was able to relax, and cleanse himself.
Far away, on the waters that covered the earth, Noah sat on the deck of his ark. A small white dove flew over the water and landed upon the man’s knee. In its beak it carried an olive branch.
“Hey, Larry!” The man exclaimed. “Where’ve you been? I was looking for you two weeks ago. Man, you still owe me a beakful of seeds.” The man continued talking to the small bird, as it pecked at his clothing, heedless to his chatter.
You've got her face
And her eyes
But you are not her
In Canaan, a man was quite busy. Of course, he had been quite busy a good while at this point. This man, Noah, was quite busy building an ark. There was a time when everyone who was anyone was laughing at this poor fellow, but that had ended two weeks prior. Not that they were overly erring in their merriment - Noah was known to drink a wee bit much at times, and that could lead to apparently crack pot schemes. However, now it was raining rather heavily, and it had been doing so for days, and the market for arks had risen considerably. But this story is not about Noah.
Worlds away, on Mount Olympus to be quite precise, another man was having another problem.
“Hera,” a man’s voice called in a drawn out whine. “There’s no water pressure and I need a shower.”
The aforementioned woman looked up at her robed husband. She blinked for a moment in confusion before answering. “And what, may I ask, do you want me to do about this problem?”
“Well, um, that is to say, I thought that you could… perhaps fix it.” Zeus pouted, and looked at his wife, his eyes pleading and pathetic.
A sigh and a dropped book. “Fine. I’ll go see what’s wrong.” The dark-haired woman rose from her plush seat and she lead her husband into the basement. Following close on her heels, Zeus clapped, a grin spread over his eager face.
As they descended into the basement of their palace, Hera began to note a slight ‘ping’ in the distance, growing louder as they traveled deeper. Further into the dark, Hera’s shoes began to feel decidedly damp. The soft ‘ping’ had grown into a resounding drip.
”Well, this may just be your problem, dear. It seems that we’ve gotten one of our pipes busted.” Water spurted out of the sad, broken pipe like water flowing down rocks in a river.
“Damn, I knew that Yahweh hooligan was up to something, what with his tablet swinging nonsense and stuff.” Zeus pouted. “Now what do I do? I’m dirty and I need my shower! I can’t go out and be all King of the Gods guy when I’m all dirty! Hades will make fun of me.”
A slight twist of the muscles in her forehead brought Hera’s eyebrows into arches. “I think we may have bigger problems; it seems that our little leak has spread. There’s a guy with an ark out there, and he’s collecting animal pairs.” This, however, seemed not to perturb Zeus in the least, as he continued whining about his great showering needs.
“Hera, I don’t see how an ark is going to help me get clean.”
“Well, it seems to me that you are going to need to get someone up here to fix the pipes.”
Zeus’ eyes widened slightly at the implication in his wife’s words. “Can’t you do that for me… honey… sweetie… muffin-pie?”
A scoff. “Sorry dear, I’ve got places to go, hearths to bless.” She rose onto her tip-toes to kiss her husband on the cheek. “Have fun, dear.”
As his wife walked out of the palace, and he was left with his robe growing sodden as the water pooled on the floor, Zeus felt more than a little put out. However, his hopes of swift resolution and the achievement of his showering goal goaded him into action. A moment passed as Zeus stood before the phone, pondering who exactly he should call, but his mind soon lightened upon one candidate. It helped that this man would feel more than a little obligated to try and fix the mess Yahweh had made.
A bell tolled soon after the call was made, announcing the arrival of the man that Zeus believed could help solve his conundrum. The large oak door opened to reveal a slightly dirty robed and bearded man. On his back he carried a sling-like bag containing his tools.”
“Hey Zeus, man, sorry about that whole,” He waved his hand about vaguely, “destruction thing. Dad sort of wants to ‘cleanse’ the earth a bit…” A pause. The man frowned slightly before shaking his head. “I’m sure he’ll grow out of it in a millennia or so.” He added with more than a little uncertainty in his voice.
As the man spoke, Zeus stared at his right shoulder, where a small white dove was perched. He began brushing slightly at his own shoulder in a small attempt to warn the other man of his avian guest. “Um, hey Jesus, you seem to… yeah… you have this thing,” again he brushed his own shoulder, “You know, your shoulder.”
“Oh, oh! Oh no, man, this is Larry, he’s cool. It’s all good.” Jesus’ head nodded slightly, making him quite reminiscent of a bobble head doll. “Yeah, he sort of follows me around.”
Zeus nodded quizzically. “Well… alright then. The leak is right this way.” He led the young man and Larry down to the basement and pointed out the pipe. As he left, Jesus stared at the broken pipe.
The day dragged on. Minutes passed laboriously. Zeus felt as though he was waiting through many ages of man. He paced briefly before walking out onto his balcony, still in his robe, and throwing out a few lightning bolts. The flood on the earth was now accompanied by great forest fires. Finally the man-bird duo emerged from the depths of the basement appearing sodden and less than exuberant.
“So, on the phone, man, I wasn’t really sure what you wanted, and… well… you seem I’m a carpenter.” He stated the fact slowly, enunciating each syllable. “I made you this chair, it’s quite nice really. Ash wood, very nice.” Jesus scratched the back of his head as Larry pecked at the back of the rather nice, ash wood chair. “I mean, I could transmute you up some wine if you want, raise some dead guys, bring some people to salvation… but that’s about it. I called up some other guys who may be able to help you, though.” Suddenly, three strange chaps burst through the door.
“Helloooo.” The first one called out.
“Helloooo.” The second repeated.
“Helloooo.” Again, the third said as he entered the palace.
“Hello!” They all said together. Zeus’ stared at the three flustered into silence. “We are Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva - "At yer service, day or night, we do the job and do it right!” The third, Shiva, grabbed Zeus’ hand and shaked it vigourously. “We’re here to fix your pipes.” He turned, whacking Vishnu with a wrench. “Hey, what’s the big idea?” He struck out, trying to poke Shiva’s eyes, only to be thwarted by the latter’s hand.
“Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.”
“Hey, you nitwits, we’ve got a customer here. Now behave yourselves or I’ll murderize youze.” Brahma slapped the other two before turning back to Zeus. “So, where’s this pipe ya got?”
Zeus’ mouth opened and closed silently a few times before he merely pointed vaguely to the door to the basement. Brahma nodded. “Okay, I’ll lead the way.” He grabbed onto Vishnu and pushed him forward, “You go first.”
“So… these guys are good, right?” Zeus asked, staring at the empty doorway down into the basement. Loud clanking interspaced by various cries now reverberated up from the dark room.
“Oh yeah, they’re cool.” Jesus paused, following Zeus eyes to the doorway. “They’re into cows. Well, Larry and I have got to split now. See you later.”
“Why I oughta!” Two repairmen ran up from the basement, chased by the third who brandished a large steel pipe. Finally, Brahma managed to grab Shiva, and brought the tool down onto his head. The wrench came away utterly ruined. “You imbecile! Ya ruined my good wrench with your hard head.” He slapped Shiva.
“Sorry, gov, but these two nitwits have decided to go on strike in this particular instance. Shiva wants to get into some good world destruction, and Vishnu doesn’t want to do all the work Shiva’s not doin’. Anyway’s, we’ve decided to go catch a flick. See ya kid.” The trio saluted in farewell, and left. “Remind me to kill youse two later.”
“Meh.” Zeus was left alone, still in his robe, still unwashed, and still facing the problem of low water pressure in his shower - not to mention the whole world destroying flood thing.
Just as Zeus was about to give up the whole day and go back to bed, he heard someone singing through his open front door.
“Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!/ Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!/ Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!" Another strange looking man in a blue jacket stood at his door, smiling at the Greek god.
Though somewhat afraid to ask, as he had seen already how wretched his day was turning out, Zeus spoke to the man. “Who exactly are you?”
"Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow
Bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow
None has ever caught him yet, for Tom he is the master
His songs are stronger songs and his feet are faster."
“Um… yeah… so, what’cha doing here?”
“Old Tom heard of your troubles
Thinks he may help you stop the squabbles
Have a pretty ring in my pocket, can’t remember where I got it
Seems the whole in your pipes just may find a fit.”
Tom capered down the stairs into the basement, pulling the strange ring out of his jacket pocket. He slipped the strangely shimmering trinket over the pipe, mummering to himself as he worked. To Zeus’ amazement, the pipes stopped leaking.
Tom straightened himself, smiling at his work.
“Down west sinks the Sun; soon you will be groping
When the night-shadows fall, then the door will open
Out of the window-panes light will twinkle yellow
Fear no alder black! Heed no hoary willow!
Fear neither root nor bough! Tom goes on before you.
Hey now! merry dol! We'll be waiting for you!”
With that, the strange man left, and though he hadn’t understood half of what Tom had said, Zeus was quite glad that he had happened past.
Finally, hours after he had wished to complete this activity, Zeus stepped into his shower and turned on the water. To his delight, the water was warm and the pressure was well maintained. The poor god had survived his trying day and was able to relax, and cleanse himself.
Far away, on the waters that covered the earth, Noah sat on the deck of his ark. A small white dove flew over the water and landed upon the man’s knee. In its beak it carried an olive branch.
“Hey, Larry!” The man exclaimed. “Where’ve you been? I was looking for you two weeks ago. Man, you still owe me a beakful of seeds.” The man continued talking to the small bird, as it pecked at his clothing, heedless to his chatter.
You've got her face
And her eyes
But you are not her