Comments | last_battle_au: (без темы)

snacky in last_battle_au

(Untitled)

Sep 10, 2011 14:18

Hello! I come with a bit of a Last Battle AU. It's not TSG-verse, but Ruth said it was okay to post other things here.

I started this for the Narnia Fic Exchange, based on this prompt:

I would adore a The Last Battle AU in which there is NOT a train accident. Jill and Eustace get to Narnia anyhow, they and Tirian save the country without Aslan ( Read more... )

Comments 9

rthstewart September 10 2011, 18:24:57 UTC

I am so glad you posted this! Jill is the perfect POV for this and I think you capture her nervous, excitement and rambling way of speaking. Of course what draws our attention is the train issue -- that everyone is on one set of trains and Susan is on another.... AND that is where things get interesting! More please...

snacky September 10 2011, 18:45:39 UTC

The second part is a Eustace-POV. And then there's the whole middle bit, which... needs massive rewrites, I think. The next gen stuff at the end is kind of fun, though!

metonomia September 10 2011, 18:55:57 UTC

I LIKE THIS. I would love to see more; I'm really interested in what's going to happen with Susan here, and also - EVERYBODY LIVING. I like that :D

snacky September 10 2011, 19:06:26 UTC

Aw, thanks! Like I said to Ruth, the second part is Eustace POV, and it's set in Narnia. I'll post that.

Almost everybody living, actually. :D

The middle part is where I had the problems - I wanted to give all the characters a POV as they aged and lived in the world, but it ended up being thousands of words of navel-gazing and Their Very Serious Thoughts on Susan. I don't know if there's much salvageable in there, to be honest. And I think it needs rewriting from one POV. Maybe Lucy's. Hmm.

autumnia September 10 2011, 20:24:28 UTC

This is a great start. Oh Jill, I do like her POV here. She's still new to all this, having only had one Narnian experience before and not quite as confident as the others about what to do. For Eustace, this would be his third time, the Pevensies ruled so of course they'd go if they could, and Digory and Polly would probably just find this all to be another fun adventure. :-)

caramelsilver September 10 2011, 21:52:48 UTC

Oh wow, lots of love for this :) I do hope you'll post more of this!

wingedflight21 September 11 2011, 01:17:37 UTC

Oh this is wonderful! I love the subtle differences that end up making ALL the difference - mostly, the earlier train they all take. And the worry in the Wood is well done, as well. They /would/ bicker about which pool to take, wouldn't they? :P