better.

[last_glow]

It felt good to write out all that shit. For years, I have been making excuses for these institutions. I have said, "I realize they tried their best, but…" "I realize they kept me alive, but…" etc ad nauseum. But to put it bluntly & accurately, they fucked up on me, they fucked up on others, they do not give a shit whether the patients live or die

Comments

[gooseberrywine]

I really appreciate your writings. It took me a long time to integrate my experiences in the psych system and psych units and i still don't really talk about it that much

[last_glow]

Thanks. :) I don't particularly enjoy talking about it either actually... I doubt I will mention this much more in the future. Writing about this was helpful, but very draining.

[escent]

Were you a short or long-term in-patient?

In my experience the mental wards in hospitals these days are all short-term and long term patients have to be shipped out to "Girl Interrupted" ones.

I found the adult ward 10x more terrifying than the "underage/children's" ward.

[last_glow]

I was sent repeatedly to the short term ones. Short term was months at a time. I didn't truly attend high school because I was usually locked up instead. I lied to avoid the long term ones.

I visited the adult ward when an ex was sent there... luckily I never was sent in my adult years. My guess is that the ones who have less chance of recovery tend to be in the adult wards. Perhaps more psychosis. Why was the adult ward more terrifying for you, if you don't mind my asking...?

& I would appreciate it if you didn't imply to me that being a teen in a hospital is an easy deal.

[escent]

In the childrens' ward the mindset was "You're fucked up, but maybe we can fix you

[last_glow]

I am sorry I misunderstood... this is just a hard subject for me. Many people do try to pass judgment, but typically they are the ones without personal experience & are not interested in understanding.

I agree in the adult ward they are more much likely to have a poor prognosis. But forcing ECT, or forcing anything, sounds absolutely sick to me. I hope to god at least some of the staff & medical professionals treat patients like actual human beings.

Personally, I am glad I got messed up earlier, as opposed to later in life. It was a long road to health & even longer do it mostly alone.

You seem to be high-functioning & capable of living of a great life... so I hope those days are well behind you. :)

[silvermoonlover]

I'm impressed by your experiences and how you've grown as a person in spite or because of them! Thanks for adding me as a friend. :)

[last_glow]

Thank you! Look forward to learning more about you. :)

[silvermoonlover]

You too! :)

[love_war_snow]

I'm so glad you were able to post and that it made you feel better. I love your posts and definitely don't just keep you for pity. Those sounds like great goals. I think you may have found a good therapist.