So yesterday I had a bit of a binge day and did around 1200cals. I was disappointed with myself. I should've been drinking more liquids to maintain control ( Read more... )

I've FINALLY gotten back into the groove of things. I've been averaging 600-1200cals a day. I've been losing about a pound every other day. It's slow going, but I'm happy to have the control again ( Read more... )

I started to panic because Appedex.com doesn't exist anymore and isn't on Amazon or eBay anymore... can't find a reason. But I found a website that still sold it, so I ordered three bottles. This stuff works for me, as long as I'm consistent on taking it. It still takes effort to maintain control, but the pills makes it a bit easier, and eliminates ( Read more... )

It may sound like common sense, but I didn't think of it. If you're taking ap-suppressants, don't take them before rigorous exercise ( Read more... )

I think I need to stop watching tv. It occupies part of my brain, and then it is SOOO much more difficult to stay in control. It's like I'm watching myself from afar as my body goes and gets food. I'm yelling in my brain "stop it! you're fucking up! don't eat that!" but I never listen ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I had a somewhat decent day, 1200 calories. I know it's high, but I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things. But this morning, I've gone up 0.2lbs. At this weight, I shouldn't be going up at all. This is supposed to be the "easy" time, when I'm so fat, that the weight just falls off ( Read more... )

cw: 186.6 ( Read more... )

Why is the idea of insanity so comforting to me? It's not normal to think of that as freeing ( Read more... )

Lame, I know. But I've been doing nothing but gaining for so long now. This week I've managed to maintain the same number despite some very high calorie days. But this morning I got on the scale and I dropped 1 lbs. Technically, 1.4 lbs, but I'm leaving wiggle room there ( Read more... )

I don't know if i've been having these side effects all along, but have been too busy to notice. But I've just had 4 days off in a row... which, since I have no life, means a lot of couch sitting and netflix watching... so I don't know if it's from the added time to notice, or actual side effects from my med increase ( Read more... )