So much has happened
hey there faithful readers, well it's been some time since my last update, ne?
Things with me have been up and down. Finished school thus ending my Junior year at USM. After much thought on the matter I decided NOT to change my major. I bitch about theater at USM quite a bit but over all I love my group of friends there and have faith that I can and will be cast in shows outside of school.
Summer has been a whirlwind of activities. Firepits, swimming, beaches, cookouts, fireworks, drinking, moving, and just taking the time to look up at the sky and breathe. I've hung out with an assortment of friends this summer and it's been great just hanging out and seeing different people that I might not hang out with during the school year as much. Chris, Mel, Dan, Katrina, Joe, Bill, ect.
Portcon 09 was as fun as always. We were back in South Portland this year and even though I wasn't strictly on Security (I doubled up on Boff Staff) it was great to see all my friends I usually only get to see once a year. The rave was a blast, Mick really busted his ass to make it look and sound good. Despite being violently ill one morning when I had a shift out at the Boff Tent, things went pretty smoothly for me. I look forward to next year's PCM even though I might not be in the state at that point and alot of the longterm staffers won't be there.
This summer has also been very challenging as well. For starters I lost a friend of mine back in April. James was killed in a car accident out in California and it was a hard time. However seeing everyone at his wake and knowing we were all going through roughly the same thing helped me (and I think all of us) deal with it together. Some old grudes we're mended or put into action to be mended between people and even though it was a sad time, it was great seeing a lot of friends that don't really spend time together anymore.Also Dave, my mom's husband, is back in jail and possibly for a good amount of time this time around. He was arrested for a probation violation and may do up to 3 years. It's been really hard on mom which has had her drinking again. She goes in bouts where she'll be hammered for a week and then fine for two weeks only to repeat the process all over again. It has been really hard on me too, trying to help her while when she doesn't want to be helped. She's also being evicted from her apartment because of how much she's fucked up there since my aunt died (5 years ago last month). I've been trying to help her find new places to move into but it hasn't been easy.
In addition to all the drama going on this summer has seen a spike in my depression. I never use to have problems during the summer, it was usually only during the late winter/early spring but this year has been very hard. I'm sure money concerns are a HUGE factor in it, also the fact that until a few days ago I didn't have a job since October. This past October was hard and I feel like I'm still trying to recover from it (in all aspects of my life). The spring was a little better but, like I stated earlier, this summer has been rough. Partly it's not seeing Jess very often. She lives in MA and has been super sick since April which means she doesn't come up to Maine often. Also because I've been straight up broke I haven't been able to get down to MA very often. I think this summer we've seen each other maybe a half dozen times (maybe a little more). Also for various reasons there were times we can't talk on the phone (earlier she was in VA doing a job in a 0 reception zone and more recently I haven't had a cell). The lack of conversation and seeing each other gives my paronia and crazy tendecies pleanty of time to fester and make mountians out of mole hills. Earlier in the summer I had convinced myself that she was done with me and wanting to breakup. It all seems so silly in hindsight but these neurouses take hold and make me feel like screaming. Oh well things are better right now, I mean there are a few things we need to talk about but nothing earthshattering (and we have been talking more recently which is great).
Well that's all for now faithful readers. Til next time
-Token
Things with me have been up and down. Finished school thus ending my Junior year at USM. After much thought on the matter I decided NOT to change my major. I bitch about theater at USM quite a bit but over all I love my group of friends there and have faith that I can and will be cast in shows outside of school.
Summer has been a whirlwind of activities. Firepits, swimming, beaches, cookouts, fireworks, drinking, moving, and just taking the time to look up at the sky and breathe. I've hung out with an assortment of friends this summer and it's been great just hanging out and seeing different people that I might not hang out with during the school year as much. Chris, Mel, Dan, Katrina, Joe, Bill, ect.
Portcon 09 was as fun as always. We were back in South Portland this year and even though I wasn't strictly on Security (I doubled up on Boff Staff) it was great to see all my friends I usually only get to see once a year. The rave was a blast, Mick really busted his ass to make it look and sound good. Despite being violently ill one morning when I had a shift out at the Boff Tent, things went pretty smoothly for me. I look forward to next year's PCM even though I might not be in the state at that point and alot of the longterm staffers won't be there.
This summer has also been very challenging as well. For starters I lost a friend of mine back in April. James was killed in a car accident out in California and it was a hard time. However seeing everyone at his wake and knowing we were all going through roughly the same thing helped me (and I think all of us) deal with it together. Some old grudes we're mended or put into action to be mended between people and even though it was a sad time, it was great seeing a lot of friends that don't really spend time together anymore.Also Dave, my mom's husband, is back in jail and possibly for a good amount of time this time around. He was arrested for a probation violation and may do up to 3 years. It's been really hard on mom which has had her drinking again. She goes in bouts where she'll be hammered for a week and then fine for two weeks only to repeat the process all over again. It has been really hard on me too, trying to help her while when she doesn't want to be helped. She's also being evicted from her apartment because of how much she's fucked up there since my aunt died (5 years ago last month). I've been trying to help her find new places to move into but it hasn't been easy.
In addition to all the drama going on this summer has seen a spike in my depression. I never use to have problems during the summer, it was usually only during the late winter/early spring but this year has been very hard. I'm sure money concerns are a HUGE factor in it, also the fact that until a few days ago I didn't have a job since October. This past October was hard and I feel like I'm still trying to recover from it (in all aspects of my life). The spring was a little better but, like I stated earlier, this summer has been rough. Partly it's not seeing Jess very often. She lives in MA and has been super sick since April which means she doesn't come up to Maine often. Also because I've been straight up broke I haven't been able to get down to MA very often. I think this summer we've seen each other maybe a half dozen times (maybe a little more). Also for various reasons there were times we can't talk on the phone (earlier she was in VA doing a job in a 0 reception zone and more recently I haven't had a cell). The lack of conversation and seeing each other gives my paronia and crazy tendecies pleanty of time to fester and make mountians out of mole hills. Earlier in the summer I had convinced myself that she was done with me and wanting to breakup. It all seems so silly in hindsight but these neurouses take hold and make me feel like screaming. Oh well things are better right now, I mean there are a few things we need to talk about but nothing earthshattering (and we have been talking more recently which is great).
Well that's all for now faithful readers. Til next time
-Token