Not as optimistic as my competition.
So 2009 started out at my old apartment with Luke and some other people with me in an absolutely miserable mood. This was a sign of things to come. This was a horrible year filled with suck and fail. Yes there were some bright moments and fun times (even I’m not emo as to deny those brief moments of happiness) but over all I was just miserable. Problems galore with money, friends and family dying off around me, losing friends, Jess breaking up with me, head games and emotional abuse, family drama, doing the worst I’ve ever done in my entire college career, getting arrested, and the worst my depression has ever been.
Yes there were some good times, hanging out with friends, relaxing on top of a mountain with a bottle of wine, spending time in love, doing 2 shows (Distance from Here and The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told), PCM 09 and seeing everyone involved, making new friends, having a better social network to help me back up in my down time, and moving into a new apartment with good friends.
I don’t know what this decade has meant to me. It’s been filled with hardship after hardship and pain after pain. I’d like to say it’s the universe testing me, making me a better person, or my working off my bad karma from a previous life but I just can’t swallow that anymore. It’s been too much and it’s not fair.
My New Year’s wish is this: please, just for once, let things be easy. Let me be happy and healthy and not have to worry about too many things. Keep those I love safe and healthy, and just give me a fuckin’ break from all the bad. The Universe owes me at least one year of happiness through and through. After that, well after that it’s 2011 and it’s a whole new ball game.
Sorry if this has been a bit of a QQ entry but this isn’t even a third of what’s been racing through my mind lately. It’s a start and it’s the bit of venting I need.
I truly hope 2010 brings nothing but happiness to you faithful readers. Be happy, healthy, and safe.
Cheers,
Token