notes for this week aka. PLAYER IS STUPID aka mild sweet 5:30 am emo curry aka sortofessay
dear self, Thomas is
- a perfectly normal human being
- still the goddamned Tenkai
- calm and reasonable unless he's flustered/in a hurry/put under pressure in some way
- not predisposed to violence
- is in fact a suicidal pacifist
- can be manipulated easily. Tries not to let this be so, but it happens anyway.
- polite. Also canonically stuttery.
- easily topped
- in posession of a backbone--when he has time to remember it.
- the rest of the time, diplomatic more than anything else. He stayed a succesful master during the war because of that, probably! That and sheer dumb luck and having refugees who knew that a) he was backed by their leaders and b) did have the power to exert penalties.
- the other reason is that he cares about pretty much everybody. Why won't you all just get along. :(
- also, ridiculously stubborn when he chooses to be.
- not selfish.
- not emo. ...well, not unhealthily so.
- keeps his emo to himself. Does not cry on people. ...unless he's a shouta but let's not go there.
Thomas does not know as much about the Runes and clonehate thing and other war-related shiznit as Luc or Hugo or Sasarai or Caesar. He needed to know some of it, and gathered more by just being there and listening, but he doesn't have anything close to the full picture that they have--he knows the what happened but not always the why. Like, he doesn't know about the Runerape, he doesn't...have a full picture of the ashen world schtick although Luc is creeping him out with it (STOP RAPING HIS MIND, LUC ♥), he doesn't know exactly what happened during the last battle. Because unlike other Tenkai he's not the general, he just provides the base, and so his role in the war is more...detached, shall we say. Plus he doesn't bear a Rune, nor does he have an especially close relationship with any Runebearer--he knows it hurts them, but not how.
Thomas is completely out of his element in camp. I think I've mentioned it in an essay or serious poll or something. He's used to taking care of people and helping them out, calming quarrels, doing a metric ton of paperwork, and otherwise juggling the five million one hundred and eight tasks that being a castle lord entails. The castle is also what gives him his power and influence in his world, the Budehuc staff are the people he is closest to and relates best with, and, well, he doesn't exactly take them for granted but he's been used to that way of things for over a year--two years? Damn Suikoden timeline--and none of it is here and that's a really. Big. Change. Add in that all his fellow canonmates are a) three (3) Runebearers/powerful leaders in their own right and b) one (1) snarky Silverberg strategist, and he's pretty sure he can't serve any real purpose here. And like he's dodging his responsibilities by being here. So he'll never really stop wanting to return home.
But he'll suck it up and deal with it anyway, given time. Because he's Thomas and that's what he does.
The reason Thomas is so shaky about stuff in camp and with the relationships between/with other members of his cast? Partly because camp is so damned spotaneous, partly because in camp he...doesn't really have a lot to do to distract himself like he normally does. Camp is very 'LOL IN UR FACE' about badtouch stuff and relationships and--and I guess mistletoe. So he's often so incredibly embarrased and then he doesn't have time to collect his wits during the event and then afterwards he doesn't have tasks to distract himself with and then something ELSE happens. Crap. So he keeps noticing things that normally would be brought up once, flailed at, and then dropped. It's wearing him down. He is not equipped to deal with UST. He is all, 'what are these sexual relations you speak of. ...why do I find that hot. Oh god why. Closet now.'
And all this still does not justify some of Thomas's actions and reactions this past week. ...okay, part of that was ho!AU, but. There are still a lot of things in his voice I have to fix because he's such an easy character to play but at the same time such an easy one to go overboard with. Why did I think playing a Suikoden character would balance out the crazy of the others. WHYYYYYY.