For months on end, I feel nothing; within the space of a few moments, I feel everything. As the moments stagger on, I feel the Everything while the nothing I was just a moment before feels like a century ago, fades into a miniscule black pinpoint that was at once my everything, that nothing. And I want my nothing back as I slash myself with the ( Read more... )

"Tom is a bluish-grey housecat (or greyish-blue, depending on the short. His fur color is close to that of the Russian Blue breed of cats) who lives a pampered life, while Jerry is a small brown mouse who always lives in close proximity to him. Tom is very quick-tempered and thin-skinned, while Jerry is independent and opportunistic. Though very ( Read more... )

She senses that I have allowed my weakness to yet again prevail. She takes that as a signal to slam me repeatedly into the ground (at her feet) with a sledgehammer. She Knows I Am Nothing In Her Absence. I think, inside my head, my faithlessness forms itself into her shape and her shape assumes all responsibility. And my own shape then ( Read more... )

I am a car now. This very very shitty shitty shitty vehicle. And six months ago, I got into a wreck. I was totaled. So I went to get myself repaired, but nobody knew wtf to do so they sent me on my way and I went chugging along pitifully down the road. If I wanted it done I had to do it myself. I went to a junkyard, emptied myself out and ( Read more... )

Words fail me and when they don't I fail them. There is a comfort in the tautness of one's own sheath that remains unmatched. Yet it's endlessly elastic. There was a time two or so mornings ago as I sat upright in bed and fell back; stretched my arms above my head and let them flop down. That is when a character came to mind. I found myself ( Read more... )

Programmed worthlessness. "This is the way things are supposed to be." I'm not there without 'them', but with them, I lose. I lose a lot of things, all in one great swift blow, brutal physical pain, wrenching racing synapses. All things multiplied exponentially, and sped up; more, and faster, and with slamming force. It is gluttonously ( Read more... )

This post exists merely to offer a general

FUCK YOU

to that which ails me.

I think of mankind in quotation marks
Ever since I took a drink from you
This is for all the headless acrobats
Faces crushed in the circus dust
All in the name of gravity
And the price of admission

I managed to reign myself in, but the victory scarcely felt victorious. I anticipate the obstacle course stretching out endlessly like the pictures in one of those gift books that you toss onto a coffee table. Stereograms. I had a dream like this, over and over: metal bars in a creek beneath a darkened sky. The difference was notable however ( Read more... )

It all only seems sequential. When people say that everything's been done, they perhaps don't know how true that is. Everything that will happen is happening simultaneously. My brain may explode; inconsequential.