fic: harry potter, lily/james, g, 409 words

[latine]

we need to feel breathless with love (and not collapse under its weight)
harry potter. lily/james. g. 409 words.
her body burns with the electricity and she wants to fly up, up, up.

Comments

[_thirty2flavors]

Oh. *hugs James* No matter how long I stray from it (loooong time, as it were), Lily/James will always be my OTP.

um, yeah. fact. also, your icon is like, the greatest moment in the history of ryan howard. I died.

(/ unrelated Office fangirling)

SHARON! this was so cute! and so neatly stylized! this sort of writing -- this... abstract, quasi-stream-of-consciousness style is one that I've never really been able to do for crap, and I am always impressed by those who can. Also you make me weep because there are native English speakers who couldn't write something like this. I'm not even kidding. You and Christy just like, run around putting all of North America to shame. LIRL

For some reason I really liked the phrase "sun reigns the sky". Heeee.

However you know what ship is almost as great as Lily/James? Dorea/Charlus. Fact.

[latine]

I think I should start watching the Office, if only to understand what you're talking about most of the time, Kalee (yes, it will always and forever be Kalee for me! Mwahaha).

THANK YOU, KALI. I'm proud of this, so it's all good. Although I find it just a little bit hard to imagine that I speak better than some English speakers, but I do definitely coincide with what you said about Christy. She is like, an alien. SO GOOD IN ENGLISH.

I liked it, too! :)

(Hm. I think the 'almost' there is the key word for that phrase, K.)

[_thirty2flavors]

YOU SHOULD WATCH THE OFFICE. Do it. I will watch more Robin Hood if you watch more Office. lirl.

Re: your English skillz -- writing and speaking are two different things. While your spoken English impresses me like crazy because I can't string two words together in a language that isn't my own, I'm not saying it rivals that of a native speaker's because... well... that doesn't make sense. LIRL But your writing, something like this, where you've clearly taken the time to edit it and what not -- honestly, some people can't write in any language, native or otherwise. I seen it. I mean really. Look at all the badfic in the world. How much of that is written by native speakers? (Correct answer: way too much.)

And yeah Christy freaks me out. I think she speaks better English than I do.

And yeah, almost is the operative word, because I mean, Lily/James is just so great -- but Dorea/Charlus is pretty epic, too. And they're both way better than Harry/Ginny, sry, Harry.

[msmoocow]

Beautiful language. It really paint a picture of emotions.

And urgh, that sounded so pretentiously writer-y, but it's very true. :)

[latine]

Wee, thank you! And thank you for reading, too. :)

[falling_fast_x3]

Hm. I considered waiting until tomorrow to comment, because I'm so tired that I feel as if my "review" - if you can call it that - would be inadequate for this piece. Alas, I will attempt to make sense. :)

First of all, I really enjoy the lack of capitilization. By doing that, it aids with the flow of the moment and it portrays the scene just as informally as it is. Also, I really enjoy how you included the lines of simply actions. It fits the mood, and when I was reading it, I could picture each movement, as if it were a quick snapshot which ended at the comma, you know? And the last line is my favorite, because it ties the whole piece back together, because it initially starts with the grass, then James becomes the main focus, and with that last line you link it back to the original point, which makes it really poignant.

So, good job. It was marvelous. :)

[latine]

Pah. I think your opinion is one of the ones I hold more respect for. Honesty is your second name, my friend. I'm glad you mentioned those three things because they were very important points whilst I was writing it. I didn't like it being capitalised, so I left it like that (although I did capitalise it when I posted it to the UR.org). The one word actions were the most difficult of all, because it was tough to arrange, to see where they would work best, I think. I wrote the last sentence for that exact purpose.

THANK YOU, m'love. Hearts!