Doctor Who/Robin Hood - fic - Is That An Arrow In Your Pocket?, PG
Back in July, Jack and Martha told me the following, in Artemis:
...The following evening, there are targets, a bow and a quiver of arrows in the firing range. Martha’s arrow lands near the bull’s-eye. “The Doctor taught me,” she says.
Jack takes the bow and arrows, and his arrow lands right in the centre of the bull’s-eye. “Robin Hood taught me.” He grins...
So here’s that story :)
Fandoms: Doctor Who and Robin Hood (2006 BBC series)
Title: Is That An Arrow In Your Pocket?
Author: laurab1
Rating: PG
Characters: Nine, Jack, Rose, the TARDIS, miscellaneous Robin Hood characters
Length: 1884 words
Summary: He’d meant to take them to 1897. Of course, once again, his TARDIS had other ideas. Ideas that meant they instead ended up in 1192.
Spoilers: DW - 1.3, 1.9 and 1.10 (and a tiny bit of old school), RH - S1 and 2.2
Disclaimer: alas, none of these people are mine.
Feedback is loved & appreciated :) Enjoy!
Is That An Arrow In Your Pocket?
by Laura
He’d meant to take them to 1897.
Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee parade, the last gasp of the nineteenth century, before the twentieth knocked on its door and the stupid apes spent much of it killing each other, with even more destructive weapons than they’d previously thought of.
Of course, once again, his TARDIS had other ideas.
“That’s not 1897 London,” Jack says, looking at the screen, which displays nothing but trees. And trees. And, oh, look, even more trees. “Do you have any idea where we are? Or when?” He might be a bit annoyed.
“Why don’t we find out, Captain?” Avoiding the question, the Doctor grins, and heads for the doors. Rose and Jack just roll their eyes at each other, before following him.
“With no plan, and proceeded by yet another narrow escape from almost certain death?” Jack asks, trying to hide a smile.
“That’s what we usually do.” Rose does the same thing.
“An’ you both love it, so shut up.” He pretends to glare at the pair of them and starts opening the doors.
“Yes, sir,” Jack says, saluting. Rose grins, shaking her head.
As soon as the TARDIS’ doors are open, they’re pounced on, and pushed back inside by six people, wielding swords, bows, an axe and a staff. These people do of course follow them into the ship, because fate is a bloody cruel mistress. Seeing as they’re inside, he decides he may as well watch their reactions.
There’s awe at the structure from one of them, another tries to make himself smaller, afraid he’ll break something. A third one looks like he’d try to sell it.
“Master?” the one wearing the hat says to the apparent leader of the troop, who’s carrying a recurve bow.
Master. The Doctor somehow manages not to shudder.
“I don’t know, Much,” the leader replies.
The dark-skinned woman’s eyes have lit up; she mutters, “Foolish men,” and starts wandering over to the console. The TARDIS hums insistently at him.
“Djaq,” she’s warned.
“Robin,” Djaq replies, and then says something about Crusaders doubting Saracens. Her tone is similar to Rose’s.
When she’s telling him or Jack they’re being idiots.
He smiles.
Well, ish.
Then Jack smiles at her. She doesn’t immediately fall at the Captain’s feet, and the Doctor inwardly laughs.
Wait a minute...Forest...Robin? “Hello! Don’t s’pose y’could tell us where we are, could you? And what year it is?” he asks, playing for time.
“You’re in our forest,” the one who’d admired the structure says, ”Sherwood Forest, Nottingham.”
“It’s the year of our Lord 1192,” the leader says.
“Seven hundred and five years out, Doctor?” Rose asks, after a minute. “You sure she’s feeling alright?”
“No idea. Something’s up, though.” He goes to the console, running a hand over the controls, asking his ship what’s wrong. That many years is a hell of a long time to be out by.
Jack stops his attempted flirting, and goes over to the rest of the group.
“Sir?” Djaq then addresses him.
“Yeah?” he says, looking at her.
“The writing here, it resembles Arabic.”
“I s’pose it does, a bit.” What’s she getting at?
Jack’s now offering his hand, and smile to the leader. More flirting and charming, then. “Hi, Captain Jack Harkness. If we’re in Sherwood Forest, and it’s 1192, then you must be Robin, Earl of Locksley. Otherwise known as Robin Hood.” At least he’s had the presence of mind to adopt Rose’s accent.
Djaq instantly rejoins the men and they all display their weapons.
“What is this? Where have you three come from?” Robin asks, an arrow drawn.
“This is my TARDIS,” the Doctor declares, turning his full attention to the group, “and nobody is firing anything inside her.”
“Like he said.” Jack takes over for him, guilt in his eyes. “Took us a nearly a week to patch her up, the last time she got hurt. Could you lower your weapons, please?”
They comply. “Thank you,” he says, slinging an arm around Rose’s shoulders. “Now, how about you feed me and Rose here, and tell us how that robbing the rich to give to the poor thing is going? The Doctor’ll join us when he’s worked out what his temperamental old ship’s playing at.”
As loathe as the Doctor is to admit it, Jack’s conman skills often come in extremely handy. He shepherds the group out of the ship, throwing a wink at him over his shoulder. Rose blows him a kiss. He waves at them.
“Please don’t tell me you brought us here just so Jack could flirt with Robin Hood and his Merry Men. And woman,” he asks the TARDIS, when they’re alone.
She’s suspiciously silent.
He mentally rolls his eyes at her.
“I should’ve let them fire arrows at you.”
She sparks at him.
“Ow!” he complains, and she quite clearly is very, very smug. “I’m going for something to eat,” he tells her, walking up the ramp, and out of the doors.
***
Jack’s apparently dragged up some Arabic from somewhere, as the Doctor finds the group in a clearing and hears him speaking to Djaq, saying, “As-Salaam-Alaikum.” They’re all eating what is probably rabbit. Rose is talking to the bloke with the axe.
“Food, sir?” Much offers, holding a plate and spoon out to him.
“Thanks,” he replies, taking the plate. He tastes a bit. Oh, yes, it’s rabbit. He sits on the ground, and is instantly cornered by Robin.
“Doctor?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you tell us why that blue box of yours is bigger on the inside?”
“Why would I wanna do that?” he stalls.
“So I know if I can trust you, or if I should just hand you over to Gisborne and the Sheriff.”
The man has a point, he allows; they did appear out of nowhere. And he really doesn’t fancy being a prisoner. For the second time in a week. “Alright. The TARDIS is a dimensionally transcendent time and space ship. And very, very old. Oh, and she’s alive. That enough?” The Doctor ends with a manic grin.
“You forgot the fact that she doesn’t really work properly, Doctor,” Jack says, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I think they got that bit, Captain.”
“Yeah, Jack,” Rose says, sitting beside them.
“Guess so,” he replies, before whispering, ”What’s wrong with the old girl?”
“She loves you.”
“I knew that, Doctor.” Jack grins. Stopping any further questions, he switches his attention to Hood: “Robin? Why don’t you tell us about your next robbery?
***
And that was how they now found themselves in Nottingham Castle, accompanying Robin Hood and his gang on their raid on the Sheriff’s strong room.
Complete with Indiana Jones style traps.
Fantastic.
“Your plan’s rubbish,” Jack had stated, to a few nods of agreement. Taking up Will Scarlet’s carved figures, he’d come up with a another one, taking into consideration the location of the room, the traps, the exits and where everyone would be. And he had of course charmed them all into following this new plan, which had been declared better.
As the money falls into the chest, Much shouts for Robin to get out.
Then it’s business as usual; running for their lives.
“This is much better than watching some parade,” Rose declares, her hand in his.
“It wasn’t just some parade I was gonna take you to, Rose.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ll just have to try again,” she says, and they run on.
***
The money provides food for the poor people of Robin’s manor.
Later, back in the forest, Jack says, “Robin, could you show me how to fire that recurve bow of yours? I might show you something of mine in return.”
“Jack...” the Doctor warns.
“I only meant my sonic blaster,” the Captain whispers. “Well, maybe,” he leers.
“Remind me why I saved you again?” He shakes his head, as Jack goes off with Robin. The man really is incorrigible.
***
Rose decided she also wanted to learn how to fire the recurve bow, so here she is, watching and listening.
“I used one of these in the Holy Land,” Robin says, the bow in his hands.
“Crusades, Richard the Lionheart, all that,” Jack whispers to her. She nods in reply.
“The Saracens use them. See how the string touches sections of the bow’s limbs. Because of its shape, the recurve bow is more effective for firing an arrow than an longbow; the arrow can potentially go further. And because it’s smaller than a longbow, it’s easier to fire on horseback and here, in the forest.” He draws an arrow, then fires it straight into the bull’s eye of the archery target.
Which is at least one hundred metres away.
She and Jack both whistle, impressed.
“Your turn, Jack,” Robin says, handing him the bow, and an arrow.
“D’you think we could go a little nearer the target?” Jack asks.
“Alright.”
***
About twenty metres from the target, with Robin instructing him, Jack draws an arrow. The guy’s cute, but he has to restrain himself from kissing him.
Much would clearly be very jealous, if he saw them. As would Marian, of course.
As with the revolvers he’s used, he can feel the kickback. Hell of a lot of energy in this thing. He lets the arrow go. It ends up in the target, but not in the bull’s eye.
“Can I try again, please?”
Robin hands him another arrow, which does end up in the bull’s eye. They all laugh, and Jack does kiss Robin.
“Your go now, Rose. It’s kinda hard work, though.”
“Like that’s gonna stop me, Captain,” she says, and Jack smiles. “Come on then, give me the bow and an arrow.”
***
It takes her three arrows to hit the bull’s eye. Then Jack pulls her close and kisses her on the lips, hard and fast.
“Well done, sweetheart,” he says, and they grin at each other.
“You gonna show him your squareness gun, then?”
“Oh, yeah. Robin? I’m just gonna go back to the TARDIS and fetch something.”
***
They bid farewell to their new friends, and they’re off again, and hopefully to where they’d planned to go in the first place.
The displays all state London, 1897, and the screens show crowds of people. “Wardrobe room, before we leave,” he says. “Can’t have you two scaring the Victorians in jeans and t-shirts.”
“What about you?” Rose asks.
“Me? I’m alright.”
“Yeah, I s’pose you are. You were last time, anyway. Come on, Jack. Let’s go and find something.”
“There’s that really hot black and red dress, and we can get a suit for you.”
“Jack!” she exclaims.
The Captain just grins. Rose takes his hand and drags him out of the control room.
***
Half an hour later, they return, appropriately attired.
“Shall we go, then?” he says. “The Royals are just about to go past.”
“Yeah,” Rose replies.
“Let’s go see this parade,” Jack agrees.
They leave. He locks the TARDIS, offers them each an arm, and they join the crowd. Soon, Victoria’s carriage goes past.
“Thanks,” Rose says, kissing him on the cheek.
“’S alright. That dress really does look great on you.”
“And it’ll look even better off her. Good job I’m excellent at undoing corsets.”
“Jack!” he and Rose both exclaim. “Just watch the parade, Captain.”
“Yes, sir.”
-end-
crosspost:
dwfiction
new_who
better_with_3
robinhoodbbc
Teaspoon
...The following evening, there are targets, a bow and a quiver of arrows in the firing range. Martha’s arrow lands near the bull’s-eye. “The Doctor taught me,” she says.
Jack takes the bow and arrows, and his arrow lands right in the centre of the bull’s-eye. “Robin Hood taught me.” He grins...
So here’s that story :)
Fandoms: Doctor Who and Robin Hood (2006 BBC series)
Title: Is That An Arrow In Your Pocket?
Author: laurab1
Rating: PG
Characters: Nine, Jack, Rose, the TARDIS, miscellaneous Robin Hood characters
Length: 1884 words
Summary: He’d meant to take them to 1897. Of course, once again, his TARDIS had other ideas. Ideas that meant they instead ended up in 1192.
Spoilers: DW - 1.3, 1.9 and 1.10 (and a tiny bit of old school), RH - S1 and 2.2
Disclaimer: alas, none of these people are mine.
Feedback is loved & appreciated :) Enjoy!
Is That An Arrow In Your Pocket?
by Laura
He’d meant to take them to 1897.
Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee parade, the last gasp of the nineteenth century, before the twentieth knocked on its door and the stupid apes spent much of it killing each other, with even more destructive weapons than they’d previously thought of.
Of course, once again, his TARDIS had other ideas.
“That’s not 1897 London,” Jack says, looking at the screen, which displays nothing but trees. And trees. And, oh, look, even more trees. “Do you have any idea where we are? Or when?” He might be a bit annoyed.
“Why don’t we find out, Captain?” Avoiding the question, the Doctor grins, and heads for the doors. Rose and Jack just roll their eyes at each other, before following him.
“With no plan, and proceeded by yet another narrow escape from almost certain death?” Jack asks, trying to hide a smile.
“That’s what we usually do.” Rose does the same thing.
“An’ you both love it, so shut up.” He pretends to glare at the pair of them and starts opening the doors.
“Yes, sir,” Jack says, saluting. Rose grins, shaking her head.
As soon as the TARDIS’ doors are open, they’re pounced on, and pushed back inside by six people, wielding swords, bows, an axe and a staff. These people do of course follow them into the ship, because fate is a bloody cruel mistress. Seeing as they’re inside, he decides he may as well watch their reactions.
There’s awe at the structure from one of them, another tries to make himself smaller, afraid he’ll break something. A third one looks like he’d try to sell it.
“Master?” the one wearing the hat says to the apparent leader of the troop, who’s carrying a recurve bow.
Master. The Doctor somehow manages not to shudder.
“I don’t know, Much,” the leader replies.
The dark-skinned woman’s eyes have lit up; she mutters, “Foolish men,” and starts wandering over to the console. The TARDIS hums insistently at him.
“Djaq,” she’s warned.
“Robin,” Djaq replies, and then says something about Crusaders doubting Saracens. Her tone is similar to Rose’s.
When she’s telling him or Jack they’re being idiots.
He smiles.
Well, ish.
Then Jack smiles at her. She doesn’t immediately fall at the Captain’s feet, and the Doctor inwardly laughs.
Wait a minute...Forest...Robin? “Hello! Don’t s’pose y’could tell us where we are, could you? And what year it is?” he asks, playing for time.
“You’re in our forest,” the one who’d admired the structure says, ”Sherwood Forest, Nottingham.”
“It’s the year of our Lord 1192,” the leader says.
“Seven hundred and five years out, Doctor?” Rose asks, after a minute. “You sure she’s feeling alright?”
“No idea. Something’s up, though.” He goes to the console, running a hand over the controls, asking his ship what’s wrong. That many years is a hell of a long time to be out by.
Jack stops his attempted flirting, and goes over to the rest of the group.
“Sir?” Djaq then addresses him.
“Yeah?” he says, looking at her.
“The writing here, it resembles Arabic.”
“I s’pose it does, a bit.” What’s she getting at?
Jack’s now offering his hand, and smile to the leader. More flirting and charming, then. “Hi, Captain Jack Harkness. If we’re in Sherwood Forest, and it’s 1192, then you must be Robin, Earl of Locksley. Otherwise known as Robin Hood.” At least he’s had the presence of mind to adopt Rose’s accent.
Djaq instantly rejoins the men and they all display their weapons.
“What is this? Where have you three come from?” Robin asks, an arrow drawn.
“This is my TARDIS,” the Doctor declares, turning his full attention to the group, “and nobody is firing anything inside her.”
“Like he said.” Jack takes over for him, guilt in his eyes. “Took us a nearly a week to patch her up, the last time she got hurt. Could you lower your weapons, please?”
They comply. “Thank you,” he says, slinging an arm around Rose’s shoulders. “Now, how about you feed me and Rose here, and tell us how that robbing the rich to give to the poor thing is going? The Doctor’ll join us when he’s worked out what his temperamental old ship’s playing at.”
As loathe as the Doctor is to admit it, Jack’s conman skills often come in extremely handy. He shepherds the group out of the ship, throwing a wink at him over his shoulder. Rose blows him a kiss. He waves at them.
“Please don’t tell me you brought us here just so Jack could flirt with Robin Hood and his Merry Men. And woman,” he asks the TARDIS, when they’re alone.
She’s suspiciously silent.
He mentally rolls his eyes at her.
“I should’ve let them fire arrows at you.”
She sparks at him.
“Ow!” he complains, and she quite clearly is very, very smug. “I’m going for something to eat,” he tells her, walking up the ramp, and out of the doors.
***
Jack’s apparently dragged up some Arabic from somewhere, as the Doctor finds the group in a clearing and hears him speaking to Djaq, saying, “As-Salaam-Alaikum.” They’re all eating what is probably rabbit. Rose is talking to the bloke with the axe.
“Food, sir?” Much offers, holding a plate and spoon out to him.
“Thanks,” he replies, taking the plate. He tastes a bit. Oh, yes, it’s rabbit. He sits on the ground, and is instantly cornered by Robin.
“Doctor?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you tell us why that blue box of yours is bigger on the inside?”
“Why would I wanna do that?” he stalls.
“So I know if I can trust you, or if I should just hand you over to Gisborne and the Sheriff.”
The man has a point, he allows; they did appear out of nowhere. And he really doesn’t fancy being a prisoner. For the second time in a week. “Alright. The TARDIS is a dimensionally transcendent time and space ship. And very, very old. Oh, and she’s alive. That enough?” The Doctor ends with a manic grin.
“You forgot the fact that she doesn’t really work properly, Doctor,” Jack says, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I think they got that bit, Captain.”
“Yeah, Jack,” Rose says, sitting beside them.
“Guess so,” he replies, before whispering, ”What’s wrong with the old girl?”
“She loves you.”
“I knew that, Doctor.” Jack grins. Stopping any further questions, he switches his attention to Hood: “Robin? Why don’t you tell us about your next robbery?
***
And that was how they now found themselves in Nottingham Castle, accompanying Robin Hood and his gang on their raid on the Sheriff’s strong room.
Complete with Indiana Jones style traps.
Fantastic.
“Your plan’s rubbish,” Jack had stated, to a few nods of agreement. Taking up Will Scarlet’s carved figures, he’d come up with a another one, taking into consideration the location of the room, the traps, the exits and where everyone would be. And he had of course charmed them all into following this new plan, which had been declared better.
As the money falls into the chest, Much shouts for Robin to get out.
Then it’s business as usual; running for their lives.
“This is much better than watching some parade,” Rose declares, her hand in his.
“It wasn’t just some parade I was gonna take you to, Rose.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ll just have to try again,” she says, and they run on.
***
The money provides food for the poor people of Robin’s manor.
Later, back in the forest, Jack says, “Robin, could you show me how to fire that recurve bow of yours? I might show you something of mine in return.”
“Jack...” the Doctor warns.
“I only meant my sonic blaster,” the Captain whispers. “Well, maybe,” he leers.
“Remind me why I saved you again?” He shakes his head, as Jack goes off with Robin. The man really is incorrigible.
***
Rose decided she also wanted to learn how to fire the recurve bow, so here she is, watching and listening.
“I used one of these in the Holy Land,” Robin says, the bow in his hands.
“Crusades, Richard the Lionheart, all that,” Jack whispers to her. She nods in reply.
“The Saracens use them. See how the string touches sections of the bow’s limbs. Because of its shape, the recurve bow is more effective for firing an arrow than an longbow; the arrow can potentially go further. And because it’s smaller than a longbow, it’s easier to fire on horseback and here, in the forest.” He draws an arrow, then fires it straight into the bull’s eye of the archery target.
Which is at least one hundred metres away.
She and Jack both whistle, impressed.
“Your turn, Jack,” Robin says, handing him the bow, and an arrow.
“D’you think we could go a little nearer the target?” Jack asks.
“Alright.”
***
About twenty metres from the target, with Robin instructing him, Jack draws an arrow. The guy’s cute, but he has to restrain himself from kissing him.
Much would clearly be very jealous, if he saw them. As would Marian, of course.
As with the revolvers he’s used, he can feel the kickback. Hell of a lot of energy in this thing. He lets the arrow go. It ends up in the target, but not in the bull’s eye.
“Can I try again, please?”
Robin hands him another arrow, which does end up in the bull’s eye. They all laugh, and Jack does kiss Robin.
“Your go now, Rose. It’s kinda hard work, though.”
“Like that’s gonna stop me, Captain,” she says, and Jack smiles. “Come on then, give me the bow and an arrow.”
***
It takes her three arrows to hit the bull’s eye. Then Jack pulls her close and kisses her on the lips, hard and fast.
“Well done, sweetheart,” he says, and they grin at each other.
“You gonna show him your squareness gun, then?”
“Oh, yeah. Robin? I’m just gonna go back to the TARDIS and fetch something.”
***
They bid farewell to their new friends, and they’re off again, and hopefully to where they’d planned to go in the first place.
The displays all state London, 1897, and the screens show crowds of people. “Wardrobe room, before we leave,” he says. “Can’t have you two scaring the Victorians in jeans and t-shirts.”
“What about you?” Rose asks.
“Me? I’m alright.”
“Yeah, I s’pose you are. You were last time, anyway. Come on, Jack. Let’s go and find something.”
“There’s that really hot black and red dress, and we can get a suit for you.”
“Jack!” she exclaims.
The Captain just grins. Rose takes his hand and drags him out of the control room.
***
Half an hour later, they return, appropriately attired.
“Shall we go, then?” he says. “The Royals are just about to go past.”
“Yeah,” Rose replies.
“Let’s go see this parade,” Jack agrees.
They leave. He locks the TARDIS, offers them each an arm, and they join the crowd. Soon, Victoria’s carriage goes past.
“Thanks,” Rose says, kissing him on the cheek.
“’S alright. That dress really does look great on you.”
“And it’ll look even better off her. Good job I’m excellent at undoing corsets.”
“Jack!” he and Rose both exclaim. “Just watch the parade, Captain.”
“Yes, sir.”
-end-
crosspost:
dwfiction
new_who
better_with_3
robinhoodbbc
Teaspoon