jaws clenched tight
i’m floating in a black balloon
i must make it through this afternoon
shameshifting shadow
downdrifting way out of town
and all you ladies & you gentleman
unhappy where you could have been
that drive people like you drive a car
'til you don't know where you are
you don't impress me
i'm sorry that you're chained to the ground
but no big brother is gonna bring me down now
wind's blowing now with all its might
raindrops falling through a starry night
sunrise on a choppy blue sea
waving back at you
not me
you don't impress me
you can't be satisfied anyhow
but no big brother is gonna bring me back down
i'm floating in a black balloon
o.d. on easter afternoon
my mama told me
"baby stay clean there's no in between"
but all you ladies and you gentlemen
between's all you've ever seen or been
fit poorly and arrange the sight
doll her up in virgin white
you disappoint me
you people rakin' in on the world
the devil's script sells you
the heart of a blackbird
shine on me baby
cause it's rainin' in my heart
sun's rising on a choppy glare
rain dropping acid bought up in the air
a distorted reality's now a necessity
to be free
so disappointing
first i put it all down to luck
but god knows why my
country don't give a fuck
shine on me baby
cause it's rainin' in my heart
shine on me baby
cause it's rainin' in my heart
- elliott smith.
"a distorted reality is now a necessity to be free"(both versions.)
i'll post lyrics if i want to.
and i will randomly tap out pointless babble when i can't sleep.
and hit the enter key too often.
deal.
so i remember thinking...
elliott smith got it.
elliott smith is dead.
when you get it
you lose peace
you lose hope
you grab for what you can
struggle and sputter
till you crash and burn
again.
and again.
denial is bullshit.
ignorance is bliss.
i'm terrified.
tired.
tongue tied.
worn out.
wired.
alone.
pounding head. pounding heart.
is it fading or am i just too far gone to tell?
awareness is essential.
control.
not a robot.
just control.
nausea or just wishful thinking?
please?