I don't know if this will make sense to you but..

Nov 08, 2004 15:01

I can't tell if I'm depressed and lying to myself to make myself happy ( Read more... )

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Comments 11

whendreamsend November 8 2004, 20:35:06 UTC
fortunately/unfortunately i know exactly what you're talking about

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lauralynnie333 November 9 2004, 10:26:35 UTC
It's a little better. I talked more about it all a little last night.. but the feelings will always be there. It's mostly my problem.. Thanks for commenting.

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timmyd1195 November 8 2004, 21:38:12 UTC
i hear you. mixed feelings are weird.

... something i went through similar, is that i was afraid to allow myself to be unhappy. i was scared of it i think. without that freedom, i was never really free to be actually happy. haha... it's hilarious, because we can convince ourselves into most any mood if there's a way.

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lauralynnie333 November 9 2004, 10:29:48 UTC
Yeah.. Thanks for commenting. It's weird because I'm in my 3rd psych class and I know what I'm thinking and reasons why I might be thinking and feeling this way.. but I still can't stop it. I'm blaming my ex for parts of it, but it's really just me. I have too high of expectations and I'm too insecure.. There's just so many problems right now.. They disappear, but they always come back.. like right now.. but things will get better.

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timmyd1195 November 9 2004, 12:37:16 UTC
exactly.

i always ask myself why it is i should think understanding my problems or emotions will help take care of them. i guess i think if i understand them, it gives me control. but... does it? weird. explaining things doesn't always help us explain them away. but i think it does help us relax and realize we're all normal. most stuff clears up like the weather.

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lauralynnie333 November 9 2004, 16:46:35 UTC
I'm proof that it doesn't give you control! Yes.. I guess everyone has problems.. so this could be normal.. but I feel like nobody could ever agree with how I feel and what I want.
Wow you must be so lost reading this. It's way too much to write to try to explain. Still, thank you for being there Timmy. Little things mean a lot.

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redisforsunday November 9 2004, 07:51:03 UTC
<3 you

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redisforsunday November 9 2004, 07:51:17 UTC
do you want to get an apartment

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lauralynnie333 November 9 2004, 10:31:36 UTC
I wish. I don't even have money to get myself jeans. I envy Lee.. Did you know he doesn't even have a job right now? Ugh.. jealousy.

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redisforsunday November 9 2004, 10:32:10 UTC
umm how does he pay rent then

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