this time last year i was frantically packing to go to florence. this past year has been probably the most lifechanging year ive had to date. i traveled the world. i made mistakes , big ones. i realized how much the people i love meant to me and that i dont need a whole lot of other people besides them. i was on my own. or as much on my own as i ( Read more... )

i always get so excited to go home. i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait. then comes the night before and i get an anxiety attack. this happens when i go on vacation too. i am always terrified to go home. i feel like when i get back theres so much catching up to do, i feel left behind and left out. i feel like everyone was having more ( Read more... )

im having a love affair with the city. i love its noises and lights and constant energy. i love the food the shopping the chic bars and the not so chic bars. i love the cobblestone street in my neighborhood that reminds me of home and of florence. i love the river. i love it. all of it ( Read more... )

i am leaving on wednesday. i dont want to stop playing house. im home for a week and a half then in new york for 2 months, then home for a month then back here. i think then finally i will be done living out of a suitcase and can be in one place. since the beginning of summer 2009 i havent lived in a place for more than 4 months ( Read more... )

i need a distraction. the past two nights ive had the worst nightmares. i cant sleep but all i want to do is sleep. ross is off fishing and then has a lacrosse game and then is going home again so i wont see him when i really really really need to ( Read more... )

the cancer was supposed to be gone. he wasnt supposed to die. the last time i saw him i was annoyed because i wanted to go home. i have never regretted something more

What's your favorite feature of the last person who held your hand ( Read more... )

just got back from new york. i got offered two internships. i am going to take the one at trina turk. its so surreal to me that this is actually coming true. that i am finally going to get to live in the city, work for a fashion company, i am going to be living my dream, i am going to be doing exactly what 10 year old lauren had planned for 21 ( Read more... )

it was 70 on saturday, maybe higher. i went to the beach and just soaked in the sun and salt air. after i drove down the backshore and stopped at that beach whos name i forget but has the parking, i sat on my car and read vogue and could not stop smiling, i was so utterly content with life. that night i went out with ryan and webb then met up ( Read more... )

i am tired at being unsuccessful in every important aspect of my life. i feel pointless.