Earlier I was driving along when I noticed a bird flying kinda low to the ground. I continued watchig it when all the sudden it just dropped. Don't mistake "dropped" with "gracefully glided down to a smooth landing". By dropped I mean it decided it was tired of flapping those damn wings and rocketed to the ground. Needless to say, I had crow for

So I cleaned my car out spick and span and who doesn't show up to buy it like he said he was going to? Yeah, Mr. Newyorkerwanter. You know how much crap I had in there that I had to clean out??? All that for NOTHING. My hopes and dreams of a new car vanished.

This lovely afternoon when I awoke, I strolled downstairs to find a strange man looking at my car with my dad. I just assumed something was wrong with it and a neighbor came over to help.... incorrect. Apparently he was driving by and saw the chrome beeming in the sun and asked if we were interested in selling the New Yorker. Hopefully this means I ( Read more... )

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My car is capable of refueling itself... hot dig-idy damn, it's even more shwazy than I thought. I started my car and it was on E so I drove a bit and when I looked down the line started moving up... so now it was saying I had a quarter of a tank left and two minutes before it was almost empty. Fooled me! What a trickster.

Austin, here we come. Sha waaam.

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Apparently I used the wrong soap... and apparently I'm dumb.

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I had on a parachute and the wind started blowing and I floated away. The wind finally died down and I was able to come back. Then I went into this little restaurant that I landed near. Megan joined me there but she started yelling at us all to get under the tables. I'm not real sure what was happening but everyone outside started dying. Then all ( Read more... )

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