Normally I'd say "go for the first one!" but it was so riddled with typos that I'd imagine it'd be tough to get another writting job after submitting it. Go with the second one.
congratulations!! That's very awesome!! i personally like the second one becuase it starts off all professional and then without notice you go right back to being funny....i laughed. love it. p.s i kinda love you guys and kinda miss you a LOT! it sucks this summer just didnt work in our favor! all of august i pretty much worked full time. very tiring haha....but we shall meet again!!! Hope all is well!! ill talk to you soon!!
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