Lessons Learned in Texas
Where to begin. Most of what is written here will be taken out of my personal, hand written journal. Keep in mind my thoughts and feelings dont really flow correctly since my head injury. Hopefully that will fix itself someday, or I will have to focus on work on it.
I am Super Woman. Or at least I think I am. If there are people I care about around, and I can make their lives better or less stressful, I will do everything in my power to do so. I over work myself doing this. I stress myself out doing this. Stop it. At least take it down several notches. It can piss off insecure bosses.
I love archery. We knew this. I love teaching archery even more. Continue this.
Accept help when offered. There are people who care about me and want to help. Let them. This is a hard one for me to accept. But Im working on it. Let go of pride. People who hardly know me can care about me. I can let them care. This is hard too.
I need music to survive. Long periods of time without music are just BAD. Thank you Shawn for the amazing collection of songs on my shuffle. They got me through the bus ride when I wasnt sleeping.
Camp songs do NOT count as music. Do not sing these around other people. Camp songs are violent and inappropriate for campers, but they love them. People at camp have sent me text messages telling me they will forever remember me when they sing two songs. Oh Running Bear and Cannibal King. I had fun with these songs.
I am a healer. No matter where I go or what I do, I am a healer. Thanks to a dream I had after I got fired, I now know where the next path of my journey with take me. I will make an amazing EMT/Paramedic. I dont know why it wasnt thought of before. But its a perfect fit. Im off to MCC tomorrow with a friend to hopefully sign up for classes.
This is an interesting one since I had to be very aware of it as it was happening. I was shown a very healthy way of setting boundaries. A couple of times actually. It was interesting to see and again interesting to watch my own reaction to these things. When done right and well Im fine. When done passively and loosely I challenge with everything I have. I need to stop that too. This lesson is going to come in handy when I talk to the people staying in my home.
The stop lights in Conroe are wrong. They are sideways instead of up and down. It assaulted my senses.
I am a blue/orange/green/gold. My orange gets me in trouble, my blue gets me hurt more often than not, but my green comes to the rescue in the end, and thats okay. My gold really has no say in things. ( http://www.true-colors-test.com/truecolormeaning.html )
My green came out today when I got home. Im used to my things being where I left them. If I stay at someones home I dont use there things, rearrange there house, or put most of there stuff in a closet with some breakable/valuable things at the bottom. *blinks* I appreciate that they were trying to clean, but shoving my things in a closet cause they are in your way is NOT cleaning. Then putting heavy books and used to be clean clothes on top of very breakable things (bows, laptops, picture frames) bothers me.
Do not sleep on the bus. I fell asleep and felt something invading my space. I peeked and saw something trying to grab at my backpack between my feet. I grabbed his wrist and asked if he needed something. He said no. I asked if he was going to bother me again. He said no. I asked if he was going to sit down and leave everyone alone. He said yes. He had been bothering a mother with her child for most of the ride. His wrist was red when I let go of him. The driver saw all this and thanked me after the man went to sit back down. *sigh*
On to something else.
I was sitting in a motel 6 and Evan Almighty came on. I love this movie. One of my favorite quotes is in it. I have to share it with everyone. Its said by God (Morgan Freeman) "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
Another of my favorite quotes is this said by Pearl Buck, “The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, lover a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency, he is not really alive unless he is creating.” - Thats me in a nut shell really.
One last thing. A birthday promise to myself.
Dear Body,
I know Ive been very rough on you and have put you through things you never should have gone through. I know Ive been ignoring you. Im sorry. Youve been trying to tell me you cant go on like this for awhile now. Im sorry. Ive been selfish. That's going to change. You deserve better. So, from now on, no more unhealthy vices. No more elixer of life (Mt. Dew), or soda. No more fast food. We will get healthy together. All my goals require a healthy body to achieve them. You deserve to be healthy and so do I. My new addiction will be exercise. It will hurt at first, but just like every other time it will get better. This I promise to you.
Love forever and always,
Your mind and soul
Theres more, but Im tired. I will post more either tomorrow or later. Im sure more will come though. Its now 3am.. which means my body things its 5am. Im tired and still have to wash my sheets and towels. Goodnight.
P.S. When things are together, Im moving to Houston. It will be sooner than most think.
I am Super Woman. Or at least I think I am. If there are people I care about around, and I can make their lives better or less stressful, I will do everything in my power to do so. I over work myself doing this. I stress myself out doing this. Stop it. At least take it down several notches. It can piss off insecure bosses.
I love archery. We knew this. I love teaching archery even more. Continue this.
Accept help when offered. There are people who care about me and want to help. Let them. This is a hard one for me to accept. But Im working on it. Let go of pride. People who hardly know me can care about me. I can let them care. This is hard too.
I need music to survive. Long periods of time without music are just BAD. Thank you Shawn for the amazing collection of songs on my shuffle. They got me through the bus ride when I wasnt sleeping.
Camp songs do NOT count as music. Do not sing these around other people. Camp songs are violent and inappropriate for campers, but they love them. People at camp have sent me text messages telling me they will forever remember me when they sing two songs. Oh Running Bear and Cannibal King. I had fun with these songs.
I am a healer. No matter where I go or what I do, I am a healer. Thanks to a dream I had after I got fired, I now know where the next path of my journey with take me. I will make an amazing EMT/Paramedic. I dont know why it wasnt thought of before. But its a perfect fit. Im off to MCC tomorrow with a friend to hopefully sign up for classes.
This is an interesting one since I had to be very aware of it as it was happening. I was shown a very healthy way of setting boundaries. A couple of times actually. It was interesting to see and again interesting to watch my own reaction to these things. When done right and well Im fine. When done passively and loosely I challenge with everything I have. I need to stop that too. This lesson is going to come in handy when I talk to the people staying in my home.
The stop lights in Conroe are wrong. They are sideways instead of up and down. It assaulted my senses.
I am a blue/orange/green/gold. My orange gets me in trouble, my blue gets me hurt more often than not, but my green comes to the rescue in the end, and thats okay. My gold really has no say in things. ( http://www.true-colors-test.com/truecolormeaning.html )
My green came out today when I got home. Im used to my things being where I left them. If I stay at someones home I dont use there things, rearrange there house, or put most of there stuff in a closet with some breakable/valuable things at the bottom. *blinks* I appreciate that they were trying to clean, but shoving my things in a closet cause they are in your way is NOT cleaning. Then putting heavy books and used to be clean clothes on top of very breakable things (bows, laptops, picture frames) bothers me.
Do not sleep on the bus. I fell asleep and felt something invading my space. I peeked and saw something trying to grab at my backpack between my feet. I grabbed his wrist and asked if he needed something. He said no. I asked if he was going to bother me again. He said no. I asked if he was going to sit down and leave everyone alone. He said yes. He had been bothering a mother with her child for most of the ride. His wrist was red when I let go of him. The driver saw all this and thanked me after the man went to sit back down. *sigh*
On to something else.
I was sitting in a motel 6 and Evan Almighty came on. I love this movie. One of my favorite quotes is in it. I have to share it with everyone. Its said by God (Morgan Freeman) "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
Another of my favorite quotes is this said by Pearl Buck, “The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, lover a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency, he is not really alive unless he is creating.” - Thats me in a nut shell really.
One last thing. A birthday promise to myself.
Dear Body,
I know Ive been very rough on you and have put you through things you never should have gone through. I know Ive been ignoring you. Im sorry. Youve been trying to tell me you cant go on like this for awhile now. Im sorry. Ive been selfish. That's going to change. You deserve better. So, from now on, no more unhealthy vices. No more elixer of life (Mt. Dew), or soda. No more fast food. We will get healthy together. All my goals require a healthy body to achieve them. You deserve to be healthy and so do I. My new addiction will be exercise. It will hurt at first, but just like every other time it will get better. This I promise to you.
Love forever and always,
Your mind and soul
Theres more, but Im tired. I will post more either tomorrow or later. Im sure more will come though. Its now 3am.. which means my body things its 5am. Im tired and still have to wash my sheets and towels. Goodnight.
P.S. When things are together, Im moving to Houston. It will be sooner than most think.