(no subject)
questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart.
26/10. i went to see coldplay.
the days/weeks/months before that wednesday were weird. for several reasons. one of them being the two spare tickets i had to sell, but that's not something i want to get into now. because it doesn't matter, or at least not anymore. besides that, i was scared. scared that the show would be bad, that my fabourite band EVER would disapoint me. my dad and best friend were like "but why would that be?", and i couldn't answer it. i love coldplay, so how could they be bad? "but if it does suck," i just thought, "then what am i going to do? what will i do?". i didn't know. i didn't know how they could suck - they rule, right? - but i didn't know what i'd do if they did suck for some reason. and what if they were fantastic, but i was too far from the stage? or i was standing moshed between jerks or something?
basically, i was frightened. so much that i wasn't looking forward to it at all. however, the day before, i talked to my dad. he said i should forsee the possiblity that they'd be bad, but that i shouldn't lie awake about it. that it was a luxury problem. and i got that. so the next day, wednesday, my sister and i got ready to go. there were some problems with how we were going to get there - by tram? or bus? and which? and would we get back on time? - before we decided on two buses (32 to antwerp, and then 3 to the sportpaleis). i smiled the whole way there, knowing that smiling releases stuff in your body that makes you even happier than i was. we got there at 5PM, as planned. there were like 100 people there already, but not like freakishly much, so we went and sat down near the iron racks (is that the word?). we started amusing ourselves with the nintendo gameboy (super mario 1, man!) which we had brought and so the waiting went by pretty quickly. about half an hour before the doors were opened (6.30PM), i noticed this boy. he was with a friend (or perhaps brother?) and he looked cool, sitting down reading his newspaper and doing a crossword.
then, the doors opened and we stormed in. i had never been there, except this one time when i was like 6 and we went to see david copperfield, so i didn't know eher to go and just followed the running mass of people. we got our tickets checked (hardly, because i was running by so fast), ran into the arena forthe standing ticket people (like me), and then all the way to the stage. before i knew it, WE HAD CONQUERED THE BEST STANDING PLACES EVER. before me were like three people, AND THEN THE STAGE. fucked up good. because if you stand first row, you get sandwiched and you can't jump properly, plus you oly see feet. whileas, me standing PERFECTLY far away enough, but not too far, could see everything, because we were smack in the middle of the arena as well. and guess who was next to me? yup, the boy.
my sister and i tried to make the waiting as fun as possible, and played card games (so did the boy with his friend/brother), we did guess games, we sung songs ("you've been trying to reach me, you bought me a book", which song? because i had noticed that the boy was wearing a bloc party t-shirt. i mean COME ON. how great can one guy be??). the waiting went by a little slower, and then - at 20.15 - came goldfrapp. she was ok (i LOVED her black and pink outfit) and some of the songs were fun because i knew them. then the waiting for coldplay was just annoying. during goldfrapp, i had decided i'd try to squirm my way a little closer to the stage, because i was standing right behing a very tall (dutch) dude and also, i wanted to be closer to bloc party boy. so when it was about time for coldplay to hit the stage (at 21.45), i tapped the tall dude's shoulder and asked him if i could perhaps stand in front of him. strangely enough, he gladly accepted and even let my sister move in front of him as well! so there i was... standing RIGHT NEXT to the bloc party boy, RIGHT IN FRONT of the stage. and ready for coldplay.
you just want somebody listening to what you say.
square one: did not miss its purpose. it was harsh, loud and in my face. chris martin jumped high and i couldn't stop smiling. "i need a compas, draw me a map".
politik: so not one of my favourites, but it got me near the end. "give me love over this".
yellow: FUCK YEAH, first wow-moment. took me a while to realise that it was this song, but when the lyrics kicked in, the yellow ballons came down, i knew and knew. one of the ballonw got popped and it made us and chris smile. he has lovely hair.
speed of sound: it was cool. by then i started realising, knowing and fearing that this could be it. the best concert i ever saw. and perhaps even the best night of my life, i thought and feared.
x&y: first big "sing together" situations, when the "you and me, are drifitng into outer space" bit kicked in.
god put a smile upon your face: likage. very good live, and crhis made a little joke during the song. something like "god thinks belgians are the sexiest race", but i don't remember exactly. he sang the "your guess is as good as mine" part differently as well, which made me and my cd-version sound stupid.
how you see the world: the japanese bonus track which i hadn't heard before. sounded intimate and cute. sing-along-able after a while.
white shadows: at first i thought it was 'low', but it wasn't. sniff, i fucking love 'low'. but this song was ok too, a lot of energy. chris really went with it (he grabbed his head when singing "i can't hear, you're breaking up" which was cute). and i loved singing the refrain. "maybe if you say it you'll mean it".
the scientist: bloc party boy (and others) took out their cellphones. why, i don't quite get. perhaps to record the song? or to call someone and let them hear? either way, this song has my favroutie lyric in it, out of all. so by the time chris sang "do not speak as loud as my heart", i was moved to tears. it was a massive sing/scream along moment, and as with every song, i sang as loud as i could. but it felt a little strange, because it's such an intimate song and it feels like it gets raped, sort of, when a lot of people sing it. however, one of the most legendary concert moments for me. "you don't know how lovely you are".
til kingdom come: after stage changes (the four band members moved to the front of the stage) and some chis talk, the acoustic part began. they played this meant-for-johnny-cash song, which was fun. while guy (the bass player) was sitting down, waiting before h eplayed the harmonica, i looked at him and smiled. he smiled back. "just say you'll wait for me". then they played a johnny cash song (ring of fire). the "you've got to fucking sing man, i just did the introduction" thing was awesome.
don't panic: my all time coldplay favourite. just guitars and no drums (meh), but it was still awesome and it felt all epic when we all sang "we live in a beautiful world". chris changed the end to something with "shoulders to lean on" and leaned on jonny (the guitarist). newspapers and shit seem to think coldplay did 'we never change' instead of 'don't panic', because that's what it says in reviews. and fuck, that's just unforgivable. 'we never change' is amazing, but it's not 'don't panic'.
clocks: not a big fan of this song (especially because it's their biggest hit or whatever), but it's way better live than not live. and chris sang "so i went home, home, where i wanted to go" which i thought was better than just "home, home, where i wanted to go". anyways, the fastning part at the end was fun too. and new cooler looking balloons!
talk: FUCKING GOD! all of a sudden there was this bear on the screen on stage, and then the kraftwerk tune and i went MAD. this was like my favourite song for months when i just got the new album, i listened to it hysterically during my exams and it means THE WORLD to me. and i don't think i was the only one. bloc party boy and me jumped and jumped. chris crawled to the front and looked into the camera, with a spot directed to his face. and by the time i was into tears, i think he saw me and fixated on me for a while. i realise that probably everyone around me thought the same thing, but whatever. i hope he saw it in my eyes. that it meant the world to me. and i loved what chris did for the climax. he said everyone should direct their camera to someone they love or whatever ("you can take a picture of something you see") and he went "NOW!!" when the song reached its top. fantastic. weird, but the sp-called complete setlist at coldplay.com seems to ignore every song after 'clocks'. either that, or my brwoser doesn't support the scrolling function.
swallowed in the sea: the first encore. cute, but my least favourite song off of the thirs album. the images on the screen were cool though.
in my place: YAAAY! chris disapeared near the end, because he ran to the back and, apparently as i heard and read afterwards, started touching peoples hand sin the back (out ot sympathy). i tried to look at the band instead, but there weren't even any light on them. "come back and sing it out to me".
fix you: not my fave either, but it was definitely a good closer. because it allowed us all to sing at the top of our lungs (my throast was starting to give up on me) and to try and beat those people in the 'fix you' video (there was even the light thing!). there was this moment where chris was behing his piano and he looked at jonny in amazement and smiled, like "wow man, do you hear that?".
we live in a beautiful world.
on the way out, my sister and i had a little fight, but nothing big. and by the time we got on the bus we forgot all about it and started rambling. about how she wasn't that big a fan before, and that i feel sort of guilty about giving her the ticket and not some huge fan, but that she wants to hear everything coldplay now, and that chris was cute, and we talked about bloc party boy as well, my sister said that she'd noticed how he was so much like me (doing the same movements and at the same time, but not like copying, and that she thought that he could be someone for me). and as we were on the bus, even talking about it almost made me cry. i was so happy. i was happy. COLDPLAY MAKES ME HAPPY, and i wish they'd know. on the bus i also decided to sleep in the next day and skip the first hours of school. and normally i'd semi-care, but now i just didn't. nothing mattered. i was happy. i just saw coldplay, and i was perfectly happy.
the next day passed in a flash. i was FUCKED UP tired. the only things i remeber were the tests i had to do during other hours, because i had missed the firwt two hours. i also remember talking to the boy i'd solg the tickets to. we were both crazily excited and shared and shared, also after school on msn. we talked and talked then while i should've been getting ready for that evening, because i had to go tos chool for a project thing and sell stuff. yeah. whatever. i was SO FUCKING TIRED. the whole time that day, i tried to take the time to realise that i had seen coldplay and that it was amazing. i tried to recall stuff, and remember the boy, the songs, chris' curls and blue eyes, how he looked at me. but i didn't get much of that done. i did post a "were you that boy at the coldplay concert?" entry in the bloc party community, because i figured it was worth a shot.
i stayed home on friday, because teachers were on strike. i wanted to think about coldplay all day, but i wasn't sur eif it was such a good idea. i didn't want to spoil anything by talking about it. however, i decided it was time and put the coldplay cd's on for the first time since the concert, and wrote two poems while crying. i realised that nothing speaks a sloud as my heart. no matter what i do or say or write, nothing will change what's in my heart: and that's love. love for coldplay.
so anyway, i cried and wrote and wrote and cried. and now here i am, finally sharing my shit with the rest of you! none of you probably read all of it, but at least it's here. and i know that it won't make my memories less or anything. it'll just make them more visible, i guess. so yeah.
i love coldplay. and i miss it. as i had feared. i miss it already, and i wish there was nothing else than this. than loving coldplay.
26/10. i went to see coldplay.
the days/weeks/months before that wednesday were weird. for several reasons. one of them being the two spare tickets i had to sell, but that's not something i want to get into now. because it doesn't matter, or at least not anymore. besides that, i was scared. scared that the show would be bad, that my fabourite band EVER would disapoint me. my dad and best friend were like "but why would that be?", and i couldn't answer it. i love coldplay, so how could they be bad? "but if it does suck," i just thought, "then what am i going to do? what will i do?". i didn't know. i didn't know how they could suck - they rule, right? - but i didn't know what i'd do if they did suck for some reason. and what if they were fantastic, but i was too far from the stage? or i was standing moshed between jerks or something?
basically, i was frightened. so much that i wasn't looking forward to it at all. however, the day before, i talked to my dad. he said i should forsee the possiblity that they'd be bad, but that i shouldn't lie awake about it. that it was a luxury problem. and i got that. so the next day, wednesday, my sister and i got ready to go. there were some problems with how we were going to get there - by tram? or bus? and which? and would we get back on time? - before we decided on two buses (32 to antwerp, and then 3 to the sportpaleis). i smiled the whole way there, knowing that smiling releases stuff in your body that makes you even happier than i was. we got there at 5PM, as planned. there were like 100 people there already, but not like freakishly much, so we went and sat down near the iron racks (is that the word?). we started amusing ourselves with the nintendo gameboy (super mario 1, man!) which we had brought and so the waiting went by pretty quickly. about half an hour before the doors were opened (6.30PM), i noticed this boy. he was with a friend (or perhaps brother?) and he looked cool, sitting down reading his newspaper and doing a crossword.
then, the doors opened and we stormed in. i had never been there, except this one time when i was like 6 and we went to see david copperfield, so i didn't know eher to go and just followed the running mass of people. we got our tickets checked (hardly, because i was running by so fast), ran into the arena forthe standing ticket people (like me), and then all the way to the stage. before i knew it, WE HAD CONQUERED THE BEST STANDING PLACES EVER. before me were like three people, AND THEN THE STAGE. fucked up good. because if you stand first row, you get sandwiched and you can't jump properly, plus you oly see feet. whileas, me standing PERFECTLY far away enough, but not too far, could see everything, because we were smack in the middle of the arena as well. and guess who was next to me? yup, the boy.
my sister and i tried to make the waiting as fun as possible, and played card games (so did the boy with his friend/brother), we did guess games, we sung songs ("you've been trying to reach me, you bought me a book", which song? because i had noticed that the boy was wearing a bloc party t-shirt. i mean COME ON. how great can one guy be??). the waiting went by a little slower, and then - at 20.15 - came goldfrapp. she was ok (i LOVED her black and pink outfit) and some of the songs were fun because i knew them. then the waiting for coldplay was just annoying. during goldfrapp, i had decided i'd try to squirm my way a little closer to the stage, because i was standing right behing a very tall (dutch) dude and also, i wanted to be closer to bloc party boy. so when it was about time for coldplay to hit the stage (at 21.45), i tapped the tall dude's shoulder and asked him if i could perhaps stand in front of him. strangely enough, he gladly accepted and even let my sister move in front of him as well! so there i was... standing RIGHT NEXT to the bloc party boy, RIGHT IN FRONT of the stage. and ready for coldplay.
you just want somebody listening to what you say.
square one: did not miss its purpose. it was harsh, loud and in my face. chris martin jumped high and i couldn't stop smiling. "i need a compas, draw me a map".
politik: so not one of my favourites, but it got me near the end. "give me love over this".
yellow: FUCK YEAH, first wow-moment. took me a while to realise that it was this song, but when the lyrics kicked in, the yellow ballons came down, i knew and knew. one of the ballonw got popped and it made us and chris smile. he has lovely hair.
speed of sound: it was cool. by then i started realising, knowing and fearing that this could be it. the best concert i ever saw. and perhaps even the best night of my life, i thought and feared.
x&y: first big "sing together" situations, when the "you and me, are drifitng into outer space" bit kicked in.
god put a smile upon your face: likage. very good live, and crhis made a little joke during the song. something like "god thinks belgians are the sexiest race", but i don't remember exactly. he sang the "your guess is as good as mine" part differently as well, which made me and my cd-version sound stupid.
how you see the world: the japanese bonus track which i hadn't heard before. sounded intimate and cute. sing-along-able after a while.
white shadows: at first i thought it was 'low', but it wasn't. sniff, i fucking love 'low'. but this song was ok too, a lot of energy. chris really went with it (he grabbed his head when singing "i can't hear, you're breaking up" which was cute). and i loved singing the refrain. "maybe if you say it you'll mean it".
the scientist: bloc party boy (and others) took out their cellphones. why, i don't quite get. perhaps to record the song? or to call someone and let them hear? either way, this song has my favroutie lyric in it, out of all. so by the time chris sang "do not speak as loud as my heart", i was moved to tears. it was a massive sing/scream along moment, and as with every song, i sang as loud as i could. but it felt a little strange, because it's such an intimate song and it feels like it gets raped, sort of, when a lot of people sing it. however, one of the most legendary concert moments for me. "you don't know how lovely you are".
til kingdom come: after stage changes (the four band members moved to the front of the stage) and some chis talk, the acoustic part began. they played this meant-for-johnny-cash song, which was fun. while guy (the bass player) was sitting down, waiting before h eplayed the harmonica, i looked at him and smiled. he smiled back. "just say you'll wait for me". then they played a johnny cash song (ring of fire). the "you've got to fucking sing man, i just did the introduction" thing was awesome.
don't panic: my all time coldplay favourite. just guitars and no drums (meh), but it was still awesome and it felt all epic when we all sang "we live in a beautiful world". chris changed the end to something with "shoulders to lean on" and leaned on jonny (the guitarist). newspapers and shit seem to think coldplay did 'we never change' instead of 'don't panic', because that's what it says in reviews. and fuck, that's just unforgivable. 'we never change' is amazing, but it's not 'don't panic'.
clocks: not a big fan of this song (especially because it's their biggest hit or whatever), but it's way better live than not live. and chris sang "so i went home, home, where i wanted to go" which i thought was better than just "home, home, where i wanted to go". anyways, the fastning part at the end was fun too. and new cooler looking balloons!
talk: FUCKING GOD! all of a sudden there was this bear on the screen on stage, and then the kraftwerk tune and i went MAD. this was like my favourite song for months when i just got the new album, i listened to it hysterically during my exams and it means THE WORLD to me. and i don't think i was the only one. bloc party boy and me jumped and jumped. chris crawled to the front and looked into the camera, with a spot directed to his face. and by the time i was into tears, i think he saw me and fixated on me for a while. i realise that probably everyone around me thought the same thing, but whatever. i hope he saw it in my eyes. that it meant the world to me. and i loved what chris did for the climax. he said everyone should direct their camera to someone they love or whatever ("you can take a picture of something you see") and he went "NOW!!" when the song reached its top. fantastic. weird, but the sp-called complete setlist at coldplay.com seems to ignore every song after 'clocks'. either that, or my brwoser doesn't support the scrolling function.
swallowed in the sea: the first encore. cute, but my least favourite song off of the thirs album. the images on the screen were cool though.
in my place: YAAAY! chris disapeared near the end, because he ran to the back and, apparently as i heard and read afterwards, started touching peoples hand sin the back (out ot sympathy). i tried to look at the band instead, but there weren't even any light on them. "come back and sing it out to me".
fix you: not my fave either, but it was definitely a good closer. because it allowed us all to sing at the top of our lungs (my throast was starting to give up on me) and to try and beat those people in the 'fix you' video (there was even the light thing!). there was this moment where chris was behing his piano and he looked at jonny in amazement and smiled, like "wow man, do you hear that?".
we live in a beautiful world.
on the way out, my sister and i had a little fight, but nothing big. and by the time we got on the bus we forgot all about it and started rambling. about how she wasn't that big a fan before, and that i feel sort of guilty about giving her the ticket and not some huge fan, but that she wants to hear everything coldplay now, and that chris was cute, and we talked about bloc party boy as well, my sister said that she'd noticed how he was so much like me (doing the same movements and at the same time, but not like copying, and that she thought that he could be someone for me). and as we were on the bus, even talking about it almost made me cry. i was so happy. i was happy. COLDPLAY MAKES ME HAPPY, and i wish they'd know. on the bus i also decided to sleep in the next day and skip the first hours of school. and normally i'd semi-care, but now i just didn't. nothing mattered. i was happy. i just saw coldplay, and i was perfectly happy.
the next day passed in a flash. i was FUCKED UP tired. the only things i remeber were the tests i had to do during other hours, because i had missed the firwt two hours. i also remember talking to the boy i'd solg the tickets to. we were both crazily excited and shared and shared, also after school on msn. we talked and talked then while i should've been getting ready for that evening, because i had to go tos chool for a project thing and sell stuff. yeah. whatever. i was SO FUCKING TIRED. the whole time that day, i tried to take the time to realise that i had seen coldplay and that it was amazing. i tried to recall stuff, and remember the boy, the songs, chris' curls and blue eyes, how he looked at me. but i didn't get much of that done. i did post a "were you that boy at the coldplay concert?" entry in the bloc party community, because i figured it was worth a shot.
i stayed home on friday, because teachers were on strike. i wanted to think about coldplay all day, but i wasn't sur eif it was such a good idea. i didn't want to spoil anything by talking about it. however, i decided it was time and put the coldplay cd's on for the first time since the concert, and wrote two poems while crying. i realised that nothing speaks a sloud as my heart. no matter what i do or say or write, nothing will change what's in my heart: and that's love. love for coldplay.
so anyway, i cried and wrote and wrote and cried. and now here i am, finally sharing my shit with the rest of you! none of you probably read all of it, but at least it's here. and i know that it won't make my memories less or anything. it'll just make them more visible, i guess. so yeah.
i love coldplay. and i miss it. as i had feared. i miss it already, and i wish there was nothing else than this. than loving coldplay.