Twisted Hearts
Title: Twisted Hearts
Rating: R
Genre: au!au
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect intended.
Summary: Under cut
*This is a story told from Ennis's POV. He's an eighteen year old drug addict that winds up in a sober living facility. Jack is the residential counselor/adviser. As Jack helps Ennis with his sobriety, Ennis replaces his old addiction for a new one-Jack. Jack, a recovering addict himself, finds himself spiraling back into addiction, except this time his drug of choice is Ennis. Their love for one another becomes possessive, twisted, but pure and forgiving. Can they find a normal balance? What is "normal" anyway...
Links to previous chapters can be found here: lavender-snow.livejournal.com/
Chapter 10
“Jack…I love you,” I said breathlessly. I prayed it wouldn't scare him away.
Jack caressed my chest and stared into my eyes again. There was something different in the way he looked at me, something that warmed me from the inside out...something that said...he loved me, too...
“Ennis? Have you ever been in love before?” he asked.
“No…you?”
Jack paused for a moment. “I don’t think so…,” he replied, his voice trailing off.
“Jack? What...what was your first time like?” I didn’t want to know the mechanics of it, but I needed Jack to open up to me. If we were going to make this work, I had to crack him, I had to know everything about him-inside and out.
Jack’s face turned pale and he blinked a couple times, avoiding eye contact with me. I must have hit on a sensitive subject. I ran the back of my hand down his cheek. “Tell me, Jack...”
He breathed in and out a few times through his mouth and then looked at me. His eyes were dark and gray. “I was raped in the backseat of some old man’s car.”
I immediately saw every shade of red imaginable. “What? How? How old were you?”
“I had just turned seventeen. Earlier that day, I came out to my parents. They threw me out of the house, so I walked a couple miles to a bar that I knew served to minors...I got drunk, and this guy offered to give me a ride to one of my friend's house...I never made it there.”
“Oh, Jack...,” I gasped. “How? How could anyone do that to you?”
Jack let out a sarcastic laugh. “Because, life is just fabulous sometimes.”
Rage boiled in my blood. “Where is that son of a bitch, huh? Did you ever do anything about it? Did you?”
“No, Ennis...I was drunk. I-“
“So?! Fuck, Jack. Do you remember what he looks like? I’ll fucking kill him! What bar were you at?”
Jack smiled. “Ennis, calm down. It was a long time ago.”
My chest tightened, making it hard for me to breath. “Swear to God, Jack, if anyone, anyone ever hurts you, I-“
“Shh, Ennis...let it go.”
“Did you ever tell anybody?”
Jack sighed. “No. I was too ashamed, too scared.”
I looked into Jack’s tense face. “Jesus, Jack. What about your parents, did they ever find out?”
“No. I never spoke to them again. I tried to contact my mom a few times, but...she never returned any of my calls.” Jack moved closer, the gap between us disappeared. He ran his fingers through my hair. “I had a really great childhood, you know. My mom read me bedtime stories every night, she made home cooked meals, my parents went to all my soccer games, the whole package. But I was raised in a strict Catholic household, and well, you know how that goes...”
I nodded slowly.
“Sometimes...sometimes I wonder what’s worse-having the childhood I had and having it ripped away from me, or never having one at all...,” Jack said, his eyes glassy.
“Jack...look at me...I’m the result of no childhood...it cuts both ways...”
Jack took my face between his hands and brought our lips together. We kissed slowly, savoring the private world we had secretly created for ourselves.
Jack pulled back. “I’m going to be honest with you, Ennis. And I’m not saying this to discourage you in any way,” he said then paused.
“Tell me, Jack.”
Jack cleared his throat and scratched his chin. “I’ve been clean and sober for years. I get up every morning, I go to work, I appear happy and healthy, but...when I lay down at night, and I’m all by myself...I’m still the same tormented soul. No amount of antidepressants or therapy will ever change that...I’ll always be broken, always. Which is why I don’t allow anyone in.”
I leaned forward and kissed his lips. I wanted to take away all his pain. “Jack...let me in...let me love you. I can fix you...we can fix each other...”
Jack managed a weak smile and traced my lower lip with his fingertip. “Ennis...Ennis,” he whispered, and rolled on top of me. He began kissing me everywhere, my eyelids, my ears, my jaw...almost as if he wanted to drink in everything I was.
“Ennis,” he murmured again, our lips still a breath apart. He moved a little, brushing his erection against mine, groaning with the instant relief it brought. “That’s just for you...only you.” He did it again and pressed harder, allowing himself to relax completely on top of me. It was the most erotic moment of my life.
“Jack...,” I whimpered. He covered my mouth and swallowed my words. His tongue slipped past my lips, tracing my teeth, sliding against his own. I followed his lead. The taste of his mouth, the roughness of his stubble, the well-formed muscles in his chest, the welcoming warmth between his legs was almost more than I could handle. He grasped the waistband of my underpants.
"Oh, God...," I breathed against the skin of his neck.
Jack's hands unclasped and he slid one of them down between my thighs, on the outside of my underwear, rubbing his palm firmly against my swollen penis. He hesitated and looked up at me with his gentle blues. My belly suddenly let out a loud gurgling sound. I was so embarrassed.
“Are you okay?” he asked through an understanding smile.
I bit my lower lip as my stomach continued to churn. My nerves were getting the better half of me.
“I…I think I have to go to the bathroom…”
“It’s okay. Go ahead.”
I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. I quickly pulled my underwear down, sat on the toilet, and waited. My belly continued to make all kinds of noises, but when I pushed, nothing came out. False alarm I guess...figures. Just to be sure I was clean "down there,” I stuck my finger in my mouth then inserted it inside my body. I felt around a little bit. My heart began to race knowing that in just a few minutes, Jack's dick would be replacing my finger...
“Are you alright, Ennis?”
“Yeah…yeah. I’ll be right out,” I replied rising from the toilet, pulling my underpants back up. I looked at myself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and exited the bathroom.
Jack was now lying on his side under the blankets. The tube of KY Jelly was conveniently placed on the nightstand. As I approached the bed, he turned the sheets down and revealed his body to me. I gasped and mumbled something incoherently under my breath as I stared at him in the raw.
Jack quietly chuckled. “Come here,” he said as sweet as honey, and rolled onto his back. The sound of his voice made my penis harden further, and the urge to rub it on something was overwhelming.
"Come here," Jack said again, patting the space in front him with lust-laden eyes, his thighs naturally drifting apart.
I crawled into bed and settled between his knees. I couldn’t stop staring at his erection. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He was about the same size as me, maybe just a little longer, but I made up for it in width. I also had a little extra skin on mine, which wasn't noticeable at all when I was hard. His testicles hung relaxed and heavy, full of all he had to give to me. Our eyes connected for a fleeting moment. “Go ahead, Ennis. You can touch me.”
I nodded and slowly brought my unsteady hand between his legs, exploring Jack’s body for the very first time. I ran my fingers through the dark forest of black hairs that surrounded his intimate parts. His dick bobbed up and down in response. The crotch of my underpants moistened. I closed my eyes and held my breath, trying to prevent myself from releasing right then and there. Jack could sense my frustration.
“I know you’re close…it’s alright,” he whispered, guiding my palm onto his cock, leaving his hand on top of mine. I shook my head and opened my eyes. Together, we went up and down Jack’s length, fingers entwined. I throbbed, getting harder with each stroke. The tip of his heat suddenly glistened and Jack pulled back.
“I need this, Ennis…I need this so bad…I…I’m clean, in case you’re wondering, but if you want me to use a condom…I will.”
“No, no condom,” I replied quickly. “Don’t want anything separating us.”
Jack nodded. “Take off your underpants and lie down for me,” he said.
I shucked my boxer briefs to the floor and we quickly traded positions. Jack reached for the KY Jelly and returned between my shaking legs. Without any hesitation, I spread myself open for my Jack.
“Ennis…you’re so beautiful….,” he sighed, lowering his face between my thighs. He nuzzled at the tender skin where my legs met my torso then dragged his nose between my pale cheeks and inhaled deeply. “Mmm,” he hummed. The vibration his mouth made against my flesh sent tremors throughout my entire body. I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he brought his fingers where I prayed for them to go. He moved them delicately over the bottom of my balls, barely stirring the tiny, blond hairs there. My pouch tightened up. I was so close. Jack reached for the tube of jelly and applied some to my rosy hole. The coolness of the lubrication made my lower half shiver. “I’m gonna put my fingers inside you, okay?” he said, lifting one of my legs onto his sturdy shoulder.
I swallowed hard as Jack eased two well-oiled fingers inside me. Instantly, I felt a surge of semen flood into my penis. I tried so hard, so very hard to hold out, but my body ached for Jack so much that I prematurely ejaculated all over my belly. Talk about humiliating….Tears of frustration instantly filled my eyes. I wanted to be good for Jack, I wanted to be a lover he’d never forget, but at that moment, all I felt like was a pathetic virgin. I wiped my eyes and clenched my jaw.
“Aw, come here…it’s okay, honey,” Jack whispered and pulled me up off my back and into his chest.
“Goddamnit…I want to be good for you, Jack…”
“Shh…shh…it’s, okay. I know you’re nervous.” Jack stared into my eyes and rubbed my cheek with his the back of his hand. “Do you have any idea how precious you are? Do you?”
“No…”
Jack eased me down onto my back. He returned one of my legs onto his shoulder. The scent of my semen hung heavy in the air. I watched in anticipation as Jack slicked his patient cock. He knee-walked a little closer to me, aligning the tip of his dick to my quivering passage.
“Are you ready?” he asked softly. I could see the fear in his eyes, questioning right from wrong.
I looked at Jack one last time before he deflowered me. His eyes shone down into mine, forever securing a place in my fragile heart. “Yes, Jack…”
Jack drew in a long breath. He looked just as nervous as I did. “Alright, honey, I want you push out, just like you would if you were going to the bathroom,” he said, keeping his cock firmly pressed against my small opening. I pushed out, the tip of his shaft slipped in. Jack paused and studied my face before going any further. “Are you okay?”
“It hurts,” I acknowledged in a strained voice.
“Sit back on your elbows, Ennis. I want you to see what we’re doing right now.”
I sat up and looked between my legs. The vision of Jack partially submerged in my body pumped new life into my dick.
“I know it’s a little uncomfortable at first, but it gets better, I promise,” Jack reassured, and eased forward a couple of inches. My eyes were as wide as saucers as I watched him burrow deeper inside me.
“Look at what we’re doing right, now, Ennis…look how beautiful this is,” he whispered, watching himself disappear further into me-his little virgin. My body surrendered completely and every one of my muscles relaxed. Jack slid in all the way to his root, his pelvis pressed firmly on my ass. The sensation was incredible.
Jack collected the semen from my belly and brought it to my re-awakened cock. Seeing as though I had just come, he stroked me gently, careful not to concentrate too heavily on the sensitive tip.
“Look at me, Ennis.” Jack began to slowly slide in and out of my narrow passage, one hand gripped my leg that was on his shoulder, the other continued to massage my length. Our eyes stayed locked together.
“Jack!” I suddenly cried out.
“Mmm…am I hittin that spot?” he purred.
“Yes…Yes…it feels so fuckin good…”
He began to move a little faster. The sound of our flesh smacking together fluttered throughout the room. Jack leaned forward. Our foreheads came together, neither one of us did any talking, we just moved in sync to a song we built with our bodies. ‘I’m gonna come, Jack,” I gasped, kissing any part of him available to my mouth. Jack stroked me harder. I let out a long sustaining groan and filled his hand with my seed.
“Good boy, good boy,” he murmured between breaths. He buried deep inside me, his whole body tensed and then let go, filling me with his warm, liquid love.
Jack slowly slipped out and pulled me into a possessive embrace, tucking my head under his chin. My eyes closed when he started humming softly. Tires on gravel and the sweep of headlights across the wall reminded us that there was a world outside the door. For a space of time measured in heartbeats, we lay together in silence, two lost souls connected as one.
Tbc
Rating: R
Genre: au!au
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect intended.
Summary: Under cut
*This is a story told from Ennis's POV. He's an eighteen year old drug addict that winds up in a sober living facility. Jack is the residential counselor/adviser. As Jack helps Ennis with his sobriety, Ennis replaces his old addiction for a new one-Jack. Jack, a recovering addict himself, finds himself spiraling back into addiction, except this time his drug of choice is Ennis. Their love for one another becomes possessive, twisted, but pure and forgiving. Can they find a normal balance? What is "normal" anyway...
Links to previous chapters can be found here: lavender-snow.livejournal.com/
Chapter 10
“Jack…I love you,” I said breathlessly. I prayed it wouldn't scare him away.
Jack caressed my chest and stared into my eyes again. There was something different in the way he looked at me, something that warmed me from the inside out...something that said...he loved me, too...
“Ennis? Have you ever been in love before?” he asked.
“No…you?”
Jack paused for a moment. “I don’t think so…,” he replied, his voice trailing off.
“Jack? What...what was your first time like?” I didn’t want to know the mechanics of it, but I needed Jack to open up to me. If we were going to make this work, I had to crack him, I had to know everything about him-inside and out.
Jack’s face turned pale and he blinked a couple times, avoiding eye contact with me. I must have hit on a sensitive subject. I ran the back of my hand down his cheek. “Tell me, Jack...”
He breathed in and out a few times through his mouth and then looked at me. His eyes were dark and gray. “I was raped in the backseat of some old man’s car.”
I immediately saw every shade of red imaginable. “What? How? How old were you?”
“I had just turned seventeen. Earlier that day, I came out to my parents. They threw me out of the house, so I walked a couple miles to a bar that I knew served to minors...I got drunk, and this guy offered to give me a ride to one of my friend's house...I never made it there.”
“Oh, Jack...,” I gasped. “How? How could anyone do that to you?”
Jack let out a sarcastic laugh. “Because, life is just fabulous sometimes.”
Rage boiled in my blood. “Where is that son of a bitch, huh? Did you ever do anything about it? Did you?”
“No, Ennis...I was drunk. I-“
“So?! Fuck, Jack. Do you remember what he looks like? I’ll fucking kill him! What bar were you at?”
Jack smiled. “Ennis, calm down. It was a long time ago.”
My chest tightened, making it hard for me to breath. “Swear to God, Jack, if anyone, anyone ever hurts you, I-“
“Shh, Ennis...let it go.”
“Did you ever tell anybody?”
Jack sighed. “No. I was too ashamed, too scared.”
I looked into Jack’s tense face. “Jesus, Jack. What about your parents, did they ever find out?”
“No. I never spoke to them again. I tried to contact my mom a few times, but...she never returned any of my calls.” Jack moved closer, the gap between us disappeared. He ran his fingers through my hair. “I had a really great childhood, you know. My mom read me bedtime stories every night, she made home cooked meals, my parents went to all my soccer games, the whole package. But I was raised in a strict Catholic household, and well, you know how that goes...”
I nodded slowly.
“Sometimes...sometimes I wonder what’s worse-having the childhood I had and having it ripped away from me, or never having one at all...,” Jack said, his eyes glassy.
“Jack...look at me...I’m the result of no childhood...it cuts both ways...”
Jack took my face between his hands and brought our lips together. We kissed slowly, savoring the private world we had secretly created for ourselves.
Jack pulled back. “I’m going to be honest with you, Ennis. And I’m not saying this to discourage you in any way,” he said then paused.
“Tell me, Jack.”
Jack cleared his throat and scratched his chin. “I’ve been clean and sober for years. I get up every morning, I go to work, I appear happy and healthy, but...when I lay down at night, and I’m all by myself...I’m still the same tormented soul. No amount of antidepressants or therapy will ever change that...I’ll always be broken, always. Which is why I don’t allow anyone in.”
I leaned forward and kissed his lips. I wanted to take away all his pain. “Jack...let me in...let me love you. I can fix you...we can fix each other...”
Jack managed a weak smile and traced my lower lip with his fingertip. “Ennis...Ennis,” he whispered, and rolled on top of me. He began kissing me everywhere, my eyelids, my ears, my jaw...almost as if he wanted to drink in everything I was.
“Ennis,” he murmured again, our lips still a breath apart. He moved a little, brushing his erection against mine, groaning with the instant relief it brought. “That’s just for you...only you.” He did it again and pressed harder, allowing himself to relax completely on top of me. It was the most erotic moment of my life.
“Jack...,” I whimpered. He covered my mouth and swallowed my words. His tongue slipped past my lips, tracing my teeth, sliding against his own. I followed his lead. The taste of his mouth, the roughness of his stubble, the well-formed muscles in his chest, the welcoming warmth between his legs was almost more than I could handle. He grasped the waistband of my underpants.
"Oh, God...," I breathed against the skin of his neck.
Jack's hands unclasped and he slid one of them down between my thighs, on the outside of my underwear, rubbing his palm firmly against my swollen penis. He hesitated and looked up at me with his gentle blues. My belly suddenly let out a loud gurgling sound. I was so embarrassed.
“Are you okay?” he asked through an understanding smile.
I bit my lower lip as my stomach continued to churn. My nerves were getting the better half of me.
“I…I think I have to go to the bathroom…”
“It’s okay. Go ahead.”
I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. I quickly pulled my underwear down, sat on the toilet, and waited. My belly continued to make all kinds of noises, but when I pushed, nothing came out. False alarm I guess...figures. Just to be sure I was clean "down there,” I stuck my finger in my mouth then inserted it inside my body. I felt around a little bit. My heart began to race knowing that in just a few minutes, Jack's dick would be replacing my finger...
“Are you alright, Ennis?”
“Yeah…yeah. I’ll be right out,” I replied rising from the toilet, pulling my underpants back up. I looked at myself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and exited the bathroom.
Jack was now lying on his side under the blankets. The tube of KY Jelly was conveniently placed on the nightstand. As I approached the bed, he turned the sheets down and revealed his body to me. I gasped and mumbled something incoherently under my breath as I stared at him in the raw.
Jack quietly chuckled. “Come here,” he said as sweet as honey, and rolled onto his back. The sound of his voice made my penis harden further, and the urge to rub it on something was overwhelming.
"Come here," Jack said again, patting the space in front him with lust-laden eyes, his thighs naturally drifting apart.
I crawled into bed and settled between his knees. I couldn’t stop staring at his erection. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He was about the same size as me, maybe just a little longer, but I made up for it in width. I also had a little extra skin on mine, which wasn't noticeable at all when I was hard. His testicles hung relaxed and heavy, full of all he had to give to me. Our eyes connected for a fleeting moment. “Go ahead, Ennis. You can touch me.”
I nodded and slowly brought my unsteady hand between his legs, exploring Jack’s body for the very first time. I ran my fingers through the dark forest of black hairs that surrounded his intimate parts. His dick bobbed up and down in response. The crotch of my underpants moistened. I closed my eyes and held my breath, trying to prevent myself from releasing right then and there. Jack could sense my frustration.
“I know you’re close…it’s alright,” he whispered, guiding my palm onto his cock, leaving his hand on top of mine. I shook my head and opened my eyes. Together, we went up and down Jack’s length, fingers entwined. I throbbed, getting harder with each stroke. The tip of his heat suddenly glistened and Jack pulled back.
“I need this, Ennis…I need this so bad…I…I’m clean, in case you’re wondering, but if you want me to use a condom…I will.”
“No, no condom,” I replied quickly. “Don’t want anything separating us.”
Jack nodded. “Take off your underpants and lie down for me,” he said.
I shucked my boxer briefs to the floor and we quickly traded positions. Jack reached for the KY Jelly and returned between my shaking legs. Without any hesitation, I spread myself open for my Jack.
“Ennis…you’re so beautiful….,” he sighed, lowering his face between my thighs. He nuzzled at the tender skin where my legs met my torso then dragged his nose between my pale cheeks and inhaled deeply. “Mmm,” he hummed. The vibration his mouth made against my flesh sent tremors throughout my entire body. I grabbed a fistful of his hair as he brought his fingers where I prayed for them to go. He moved them delicately over the bottom of my balls, barely stirring the tiny, blond hairs there. My pouch tightened up. I was so close. Jack reached for the tube of jelly and applied some to my rosy hole. The coolness of the lubrication made my lower half shiver. “I’m gonna put my fingers inside you, okay?” he said, lifting one of my legs onto his sturdy shoulder.
I swallowed hard as Jack eased two well-oiled fingers inside me. Instantly, I felt a surge of semen flood into my penis. I tried so hard, so very hard to hold out, but my body ached for Jack so much that I prematurely ejaculated all over my belly. Talk about humiliating….Tears of frustration instantly filled my eyes. I wanted to be good for Jack, I wanted to be a lover he’d never forget, but at that moment, all I felt like was a pathetic virgin. I wiped my eyes and clenched my jaw.
“Aw, come here…it’s okay, honey,” Jack whispered and pulled me up off my back and into his chest.
“Goddamnit…I want to be good for you, Jack…”
“Shh…shh…it’s, okay. I know you’re nervous.” Jack stared into my eyes and rubbed my cheek with his the back of his hand. “Do you have any idea how precious you are? Do you?”
“No…”
Jack eased me down onto my back. He returned one of my legs onto his shoulder. The scent of my semen hung heavy in the air. I watched in anticipation as Jack slicked his patient cock. He knee-walked a little closer to me, aligning the tip of his dick to my quivering passage.
“Are you ready?” he asked softly. I could see the fear in his eyes, questioning right from wrong.
I looked at Jack one last time before he deflowered me. His eyes shone down into mine, forever securing a place in my fragile heart. “Yes, Jack…”
Jack drew in a long breath. He looked just as nervous as I did. “Alright, honey, I want you push out, just like you would if you were going to the bathroom,” he said, keeping his cock firmly pressed against my small opening. I pushed out, the tip of his shaft slipped in. Jack paused and studied my face before going any further. “Are you okay?”
“It hurts,” I acknowledged in a strained voice.
“Sit back on your elbows, Ennis. I want you to see what we’re doing right now.”
I sat up and looked between my legs. The vision of Jack partially submerged in my body pumped new life into my dick.
“I know it’s a little uncomfortable at first, but it gets better, I promise,” Jack reassured, and eased forward a couple of inches. My eyes were as wide as saucers as I watched him burrow deeper inside me.
“Look at what we’re doing right, now, Ennis…look how beautiful this is,” he whispered, watching himself disappear further into me-his little virgin. My body surrendered completely and every one of my muscles relaxed. Jack slid in all the way to his root, his pelvis pressed firmly on my ass. The sensation was incredible.
Jack collected the semen from my belly and brought it to my re-awakened cock. Seeing as though I had just come, he stroked me gently, careful not to concentrate too heavily on the sensitive tip.
“Look at me, Ennis.” Jack began to slowly slide in and out of my narrow passage, one hand gripped my leg that was on his shoulder, the other continued to massage my length. Our eyes stayed locked together.
“Jack!” I suddenly cried out.
“Mmm…am I hittin that spot?” he purred.
“Yes…Yes…it feels so fuckin good…”
He began to move a little faster. The sound of our flesh smacking together fluttered throughout the room. Jack leaned forward. Our foreheads came together, neither one of us did any talking, we just moved in sync to a song we built with our bodies. ‘I’m gonna come, Jack,” I gasped, kissing any part of him available to my mouth. Jack stroked me harder. I let out a long sustaining groan and filled his hand with my seed.
“Good boy, good boy,” he murmured between breaths. He buried deep inside me, his whole body tensed and then let go, filling me with his warm, liquid love.
Jack slowly slipped out and pulled me into a possessive embrace, tucking my head under his chin. My eyes closed when he started humming softly. Tires on gravel and the sweep of headlights across the wall reminded us that there was a world outside the door. For a space of time measured in heartbeats, we lay together in silence, two lost souls connected as one.
Tbc