Twisted Hearts (Final)
Title: Twisted Hearts
Rating: R
Genre: au!au
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect intended.
Summary: Under cut
*This is a story told from Ennis's POV. He's an eighteen year old drug addict that winds up in a sober living facility. Jack is the residential counselor/adviser. As Jack helps Ennis with his sobriety, Ennis replaces his old addiction for a new one-Jack. Jack, a recovering addict himself, finds himself spiraling back into addiction, except this time his drug of choice is Ennis. Their love for one another becomes possessive, twisted, but pure and forgiving. Can they find a normal balance? What is "normal" anyway...
*Note* I know this subject matter may be difficult for sensitive readers, (which is why I put the summary under cut) but I assure you I love Ennis and Jack, and I do not get carried away with drug use and there is certainly no death in this story. I do like happy endings...even if it's a little twisted.
Links to previous chapters can be found here: lavender-snow.livejournal.com/
*Here is the final chapter of Twisted Hearts. I hope it is worth the wait :) Thank you guys once again for your patience, and I'm sorry I did not get a chance to reply to the comments from the previous chapter, but every single one of them was greatly appreciated. And thank you for allowing me to share my story with you all in this special journal.*
Chapter 19
Doctor Lambertus wasted no time in putting me to work. He had recently upgraded the facility's computer software system. It was supposed to be faster, have more storage space, and overall, it was supposed to be easier to navigate, and it was. But not all the patient's information was transferring properly, so that's where I stepped in.
I spent hours in front of the computer, ensuring all the necessary information was where it needed to be. When I wasn't doing that, I was giving tours and orientations to the new patients. Doc insisted that I attend group session on a daily basis as well. By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted, but in a good way. For the first time in my life I felt like I was accomplishing something. I felt appreciated. I felt like I was making a small contribution to this world. I felt like...an adult. I know, pathetic, right?
Doc allowed me to move into one of the patient bedrooms down the hall from Jack's apartment. Of course I wanted to stay with Jack, but I wasn't going to push the issue. I honestly had no clue where I stood in all this. Was I still technically a patient? Employee? Charity case? I had no idea, and a part of me was deathly afraid to ask. So, I just went with the flow, and kept myself as busy as possible, crossing my fingers that this was all going to work out, whatever this was.
The flu really kicked Jack's ass. He was sick for days. Whatever free time I had between work, group session, and sleep, I tended to Jack. At first Shelly was taking care of him, but I wasn't exactly thrilled with idea of her helping him in and out of the shower and dressing him. I didn't like anyone, even Shelly, seeing his body in the raw. That was for my eyes only.
I quickly let it be known that I would be helping Jack from here on out and that Shelly's assistance was no longer needed. I wasn't a dick about it, I simply pulled Shell aside, thanked her for all her help, and then told her that Jack was now my responsibility. Instead of getting defensive or weird about it, she simply blushed and laughed a little. I don't know why.
"How are you feeling today?" I asked, sitting down beside Jack in his bed.
Jack rolled onto his back, looked at me, and smiled. "A lot better. Still not a 100%, but better."
I smiled back. I always do. "Good. Let me get you something from the cafe for breakfast. What would you like?"
Jack sat up, his hair sticking up in a million directions. "I think I'll go with you to the cafe. I need to get out of this apartment."
"You sure?"
Jack nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Let me get dressed."
I watched Jack weakly rise from the bed. "Jack, sit down. I'll get some clothes for you," I said, and hurried toward the closet, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. "Here."
Jack smiled again and touched my cheek. "Thanks."
*************************
When we entered the cafe, I looped an arm around Jack's waist to help guide him though the throng of people there.
"What can I get you, Jack?" I asked once Jack sat down.
"Coffee and a bagel would be great," he replied quietly.
"Okay."
I fixed Jack a warm bagel and cup of coffee and quickly returned to our table. I was none too thrilled to see some strange man sitting in my seat, chatting away with Jack.
"Hey," I said with a nod in the stranger's direction. The nod meaning: Who the hell are you? And get the hell out of my chair.
"Ennis, this is Jay. He's a good friend of Shelly's," Jack introduced.
"Hi," I said, extending my hand for a shake.
"Jay, this is Ennis," Jack said, a subtle brush of his fingertips to the small of my back. "He's my boyfriend."
Okay, ever see "How the Grinch Stole Christmas?" Remember the part when the Grinch's heart swelled ten times its natural size? Well, that's what happened to me at the very moment. Jack and I have declared the 'boyfriend thing' in the past, but it was different this time. This time, it was solid, and truly meant something more than words.
"Nice to meet you, Ennis," Jay said.
I opened my mouth and glanced at Jack. I probably looked like I was a special-needs person, but love will screw with ya like that sometimes.
Jay rose from my chair. "I best be goin'. Glad you're feeling better, Jack. And nice to meet you, Ennis."
As soon as Jay left, I returned to my seat and handed Jack his breakfast. "How um, how does Jay know Shell?"
Jack took the lid off of his cup of coffee, and raised it to his mouth, the steam tickling his nose. "They're good friends. Jay was a patient here years ago. You think she was hard on you when you first got here?" Jack chuckled. "Hah! You have no idea. She was brutal on Jay. But, as always, her heart was in the right place. She practically saved his life."
I choked down a small piece of my bagel. I wasn't even really hungry. The butterflies that bombarded my stomach after Jack introduced me to Jay as his boyfriend must have short circuited the hunger censor in my brain. "Doctor Lambertus really picked some great people to work for him." I lowered my head. Never thought it was possible feel pathetic, love-sick, embarrassed, giddy, and cheesy all at the same time, but it is. And to make matters worse, I could feel Jack studying my face. I looked up for a split second.
Jack snorted out a laugh and playfully kicked me under the table. "Would you look at me?" he said through a broad smile.
I lifted my eyes to his, smiling like a four year-old of course, and said, "Hi."
Jack laughed a loud genuine laugh. The butterflies in my stomach were loving this. "You're a goofball." Jack smacked the top of my thigh under the table. "Why are you all smiles, huh?"
I blushed, loving that he knew damn well what I was smiling about, but asked anyway. "Cut it out, Jack. If my face gets any redder, it's gonna interfere with the NASA satellites they got goin' on up there," I said, gesturing toward the ceiling.
Jack chuckled, reached across the table, and caressed the length of my arm. "You always make me smile, you goon."
"I'm glad you're feeling better, Jack."
"Me, too. Damn was I sick." Jack spread a thick layer of cream cheese on his bagel. "How have you liked working here?"
I took a sip of my coffee and wiped my mouth. "Good. I mean, great. I...I really like it. I just...I just don't know where I stand in all this, ya know? Now that you're feeling better, and able to work again, does that mean I'm gonna get the boot? Or...or am I actually working here?"
Jack's face tensed and he looked into my eyes. "I don't know, Ennis. But either way, I will take care of you. I promised you that. I know I fucked up majorly along the way, but I have every intention of keeping that promise to you, okay?"
I slowly nodded. "I haven't heard from my mother in forever. I don't even think she's living at my old house anymore. I tried calling a couple times, but the phone has been disconnected."
Jack must have seen the panic in my eyes, because he reached across the table and placed his hand atop of mine. "Everything is going to work out for us. It has to."
******************
Jack and I finished breakfast and headed back to his apartment for a little bit before I had to get to work.
"Come here," Jack whispered, approaching me from behind, wrapping his protective arms around my chest. "Hm," he hummed, and kissed my neck.
I huffed out a breath when I felt a warm rush of blood fill my dick to its capacity. I turned around real fast and kissed Jack hard. Almost frantic-like. I love the way he tastes. I love the feel of his tongue in my mouth. I love the way he pants against my lips when we need to come up for air.
A knock on the door broke us apart. "Jack? Ennis? Are you in there?" Dr. Lambertus asked.
I shook my head to collect my thoughts and adjusted my erection. Jack did the same and then opened the door.
"Hey, Doc," Jack said.
"Jack. You're looking much better. How are you feeling?" Doc asked.
"Great. Well, not great-great, but better."
Doc nodded, glanced at me and then back at Jack. "Well, I need you guys to come to the conference room." Doc directed his gaze to Jack again. "That is, if you're up for it, Jack."
Jack shook his head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. What's up?"
Doc dragged his hand down his face and groaned. "What isn't up is the question. Had a new kid get his hands on some dope last night and almost overdosed."
"Last night?" I interrupted. "When? I didn't hear any commotion?"
"It was late, 'round two in the morning. I have no idea how the hell he got the drugs in here, but you know how addicts are. If they want something bad enough, they're going to get it," Doc replied.
Doc is right. When an addict wants and needs something bad enough, they'll go to any length to get it. Guess you could say that's how I was with Jack. I wanted and needed him the same way I needed a fix. And I sure as hell went to great lengths to get him. This is an addiction I am willing to live with though, and no one can and will convince me otherwise.
"Anyway," Doc continued. "The whole ordeal has really shaken up the other patients, and to top it all off, I have five new people arriving this afternoon."
"Jesus," Jack mumbled. "Well, we'll do anything you need us to do, Doc," Jack said, looking back at me. He winked and I tried not to smile.
*****************
Wow. Talk about intense. The meeting with Dr. Lambertus and the other staff members got pretty heated. Aside from the kid that got messed up while under our care, there were a lot of fingers being pointed over topics that I didn't understand. I remained quiet the entire time and just listened to what everyone had to say and their thoughts on how to improve the facility. I love watching Jack in action. He may have been out of the loop for a couple weeks, but he jumped right back in the saddle. He's so confident and passionate about everything he says and does. When I grow up, if I grow up, I want to be just like him.
After Doctor Lambertus managed to smooth out most of the wrinkles, the meeting ended, and I followed Jack back to his apartment to grab my sweatshirt that I had left behind.
I was just about to enter Jack's apartment when Doc called out my name at the end of the hallway.
I turned around. The look of frustration on Doc's face made my stomach do a quick flip-flop. "Yes?" I choked out.
Doc started to walk in my direction. I wasn't sure if I should meet him half way or stay put, so I looked at Jack for the answer. Jack nodded in Doc's direction and off I went, closing Jack's apartment door behind me.
"Uh. What's up?" I asked, my voice shaking.
Doctor Lambertus ran his fingers through his hair. "Ennis. I have those new patients arriving this afternoon. I'm going to need your room. Do you think you can get your belongings out of there soon?"
I looked at down to see if in fact my heart had actually fallen onto the floor. I swallowed my tears and said, "Yes. Sir."
"Good. Good," Doc replied.
I looked up and blinked away a few stinging tears. "I...I just want to thank you for all you've done for me, Doc. I mean that. And I hate to be a pain right down to the last minute, but I don't have any money to go anywhere. Is it possible to stay just one more night, so I can figure out what I'm gonna do? I'll stay in the utility closet if I have to. "
Doc chuckled and furrowed his brow. "Leave? I'm not asking you to leave. You work here, Ennis. Well, you're on a three month probation period, but you still work here. I thought you'd be moving in with Jack. But if that's not what you want, I will find another room here for you to stay in if you'd like."
I lifted my head and my jaw hit the ground. "Are...are you serious? I work here? I can live with Jack? I can-"
Doc smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ennis. I've been so frazzled with all the nonsense going on here, and trying to get the new facility in Boston up and running properly, that I've completely neglected to discuss any of this with you. Please forgive me."
"Forgive you?" I gasped. "Doc, I... Thank you. I... I love you," I said naturally. I don't know where that came from, but I meant it.
Doc pulled me into a tight hug and, of course, I wept like a baby.
"Love you, too, kid. You've come a long way." Doc pulled back and gave me a good once over. "Yeah you screwed up here and there, we all make mistakes. But it's how you deal with the consequences that counts. You've grown so much in the short time I've known you, Ennis. And, I like having you around here. Not to mention you're one hell of a computer whiz." Doc grinned, crinkling the corners of his tired eyes.
"I don't know what to say," I said, wiping my eyes dry. "Thank you."
"You bet. Now, you're technically on a three month probation period, as I do for all new employees."
Never having had had a real job, I asked, "What does that mean?"
"It's just what some employers do to be sure they've made the right decision. The probation period basically allows employers to let people go in that time frame if it's not working out, without having to worry about any employment legality stuff."
I nodded. "Oh. I see."
"Well, I've got to run. We'll catchup on Monday. I need you to sign a few documents and we'll discuss salary and things of that nature. Sound good?"
Sound good? Sounds great. "Yes, sir."
"Very well then." Doc smiled and walked away, leaving me in the vacant hallway grinning ear to ear.
Usually when good things happen to me, I immediately shift into panic mode, and begin a countdown in my head as to when it's all going to blowup in my face, but that didn't happen this time. "I earned this," I said to myself. God, what a feeling.
After I snapped out of my happy-trance, I bolted into Jack's apartment. "Jack!" I shouted, even though he was just a couple feet away from me sprawled out on the couch.
"What did he say?" Jack asked, sitting up.
"I...I work here! I fucking work here!" Beyond excited, I rubbed my hands together really fast because I didn't know what else to do with them.
Jack quickly rose from the couch and threw his arms around me. "I knew you could do it..."
I pulled away, wanting to see Jack's face when I told him the rest of the good news. "He also said I could stay here with you." I paused, waiting for Jack's reaction. "If that's okay..."
Jack smiled, showing the whites of his back molars. "Yeah, you're alright. I guess you can stay here," he teased.
I punched his arm. "Cut it out."
Jack yanked me back into his arms and kissed the top of my head. "Home," he whispered.
***************
Later that night, after work and moving my belongings into our apartment, I crawled into bed in the flesh with my Jack. Words can't even begin to describe how I felt, so I won't even attempt it.
Jack turned off the TV, the moonlight seeping through the open blinds, illuminating his perfect face. "C'mere," he murmured, pinning me to the mattress, swallowing my breath with a kiss. I dug my fingernails into his back when I felt his tongue slide along the roof of my mouth, a small moan sounding deep in my throat along with a soft exhalation of breath, speaking of surrender.
Jack moved a little, grinding his body against mine, his want for me evident, pushing hard against my stomach. I thrust up to meet him and trailed a finger down the center of his chest. The skin was beautifully pale, with some tiny freckles and sparse hair scattered around his nipples. Jack dove in for another kiss, and I held my breath for a moment as the fire low in my belly flared hot.
"Jack?" I gasped, my hand disappearing beneath the covers, taking hold of what was mine. I looked up under my eyelashes. "Can...can I try?" I lowered my gaze. "Is that allowed?"
Jack nudged my chin with the tip of his nose, encouraging me to look up. I did and Jack smiled. "Of course you can, baby..."
I swallowed around the lump of sudden anxiety in my throat. "Really?" I said, my voice cracking.
Jack nodded and reached for the lube in the nightstand drawer. He handed it to me, and I watched breathlessly as he flipped onto his knees, and spread his legs, presenting his ass.
I lifted myself up off my back and approached Jack from behind. "Jack, I want to see you. I want to see your face."
Jack looked over his shoulder, his eyes soft and understanding. "I know. But it'll be easier this way for your first time topping."
I caressed one of the pale cheeks before me. "Okay," I said when I could trust my voice again, and knee-walked a little closer to my target, my erection bobbing in sync with each step. "Do I...just do it?" I asked, trying my very best to sound like I had a shred of confidence pulsing through my veins, but from the look on Jack's face, I knew I had failed.
Jack softly smiled. "I need a little preparing first."
After a few silent seconds, the light bulb in my brain flickered on. "Oh, yeah. Sorry...," I muttered.
"Relax, Ennis. It's just me. It's just me..."
It's just Jack. It's just my entire world. I clenched my jaw, squirted a liberal amount of jelly into my palm, and tossed the tube onto the bed. It was a quick succession of one, two, then three fingers pushing and stretching and preparing, and I was already feeling the climb of my orgasm.
I glanced down at my cock, watching as it trembled and a pearl of moisture beaded from the slit, glistening wetly against the plummy head. "Jack," I whimpered, my fingers slipping from his body.
"It's okay, Ennis. You won't hurt me."
I sucked in a deep breath and took hold of my dick at the root. I coated my length, and inched a little closer, holding Jack’s legs apart with my thighs. Jack pushed out and I slowly eased the tip of my heat inside. A low rumble escaped Jack's mouth and he pushed back, his insides warm, and tensing around me.
"My God, Jack..." I whispered a slew of obscenities under my breath, overwhelmed with the sensation, the connection, the hunger, and intensity of the moment.
"Ennis," Jack cried out. "Deeper. Come on."
A burning frenzy ignited low in my stomach and in one unstoppable thrust, I sheathed myself deep, steadying myself, gripping Jack's hips, fingernails digging into flesh.
Jack threw his head back. "Shit, Ennis. Shit," he sputtered out through gritted teeth.
My movements were awkward at first, but I was determined. Determined to be the lover Jack needed and deserved. I worked my hips, thrusting into Jack at a steady pace, trying not to look down at the vision that was sure to make me come.
"Ahh, God...," Jack ground out, fisting the sheets, cursing and begging me to give it him, give it all to him.
The slap of flesh against flesh, the sound of harsh breathing, and Jack’s throaty moans filled the small room until in a moment of stillness, almost calm, took over, and my orgasm slammed into me like bolt of lighting. I squeezed Jack's hips, my palms damp with sweat, and rode out the ultimate waves of pleasure, as I released deep inside Jack's core.
"Shit...shit," Jack panted.
Exhausted, wet, and spent, I slid my softening dick out of Jack's body and crawled along side of him, the evidence of his satisfaction smeared on the comforter.
We curled around each other in a tangle of limbs, sharing each other’s breath, listening and feeling the subtle movements beneath the sheets.
"Home," I whispered, and drifted into sleep, but not before I felt Jack kiss my forehead and whisperer back,"Home."
*******************
I never knew what it was like to have a real home before I met Jack. Jack had had a 'real' home as a kid, only to be yanked out from beneath him when he came out of the closet. Not sure which scenario is more tragic.
I don't know what forces of nature brought Jack and I together, but I am thankful every day for what ever it was. Jack and I have been together now for over twenty years. My life only truly began when I met him. He taught me everything I know, everything I am, and everything I want to be.
Everyone has their own definition of what 'love' is and what it should be. But love is different for everybody. Some may say that the love Jack and I share is addictive, enabling, and codependent and I'd have to agree with them. Is it twisted that Jack and I are perfectly okay with that? Yeah, we'd be a psychiatrists dream. But none of that matters to me and Jack. We're just happy to be alive and sober and in the arms of the angel we found in each other.
The end.
Rating: R
Genre: au!au
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. No disrespect intended.
Summary: Under cut
*This is a story told from Ennis's POV. He's an eighteen year old drug addict that winds up in a sober living facility. Jack is the residential counselor/adviser. As Jack helps Ennis with his sobriety, Ennis replaces his old addiction for a new one-Jack. Jack, a recovering addict himself, finds himself spiraling back into addiction, except this time his drug of choice is Ennis. Their love for one another becomes possessive, twisted, but pure and forgiving. Can they find a normal balance? What is "normal" anyway...
*Note* I know this subject matter may be difficult for sensitive readers, (which is why I put the summary under cut) but I assure you I love Ennis and Jack, and I do not get carried away with drug use and there is certainly no death in this story. I do like happy endings...even if it's a little twisted.
Links to previous chapters can be found here: lavender-snow.livejournal.com/
*Here is the final chapter of Twisted Hearts. I hope it is worth the wait :) Thank you guys once again for your patience, and I'm sorry I did not get a chance to reply to the comments from the previous chapter, but every single one of them was greatly appreciated. And thank you for allowing me to share my story with you all in this special journal.*
Chapter 19
Doctor Lambertus wasted no time in putting me to work. He had recently upgraded the facility's computer software system. It was supposed to be faster, have more storage space, and overall, it was supposed to be easier to navigate, and it was. But not all the patient's information was transferring properly, so that's where I stepped in.
I spent hours in front of the computer, ensuring all the necessary information was where it needed to be. When I wasn't doing that, I was giving tours and orientations to the new patients. Doc insisted that I attend group session on a daily basis as well. By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted, but in a good way. For the first time in my life I felt like I was accomplishing something. I felt appreciated. I felt like I was making a small contribution to this world. I felt like...an adult. I know, pathetic, right?
Doc allowed me to move into one of the patient bedrooms down the hall from Jack's apartment. Of course I wanted to stay with Jack, but I wasn't going to push the issue. I honestly had no clue where I stood in all this. Was I still technically a patient? Employee? Charity case? I had no idea, and a part of me was deathly afraid to ask. So, I just went with the flow, and kept myself as busy as possible, crossing my fingers that this was all going to work out, whatever this was.
The flu really kicked Jack's ass. He was sick for days. Whatever free time I had between work, group session, and sleep, I tended to Jack. At first Shelly was taking care of him, but I wasn't exactly thrilled with idea of her helping him in and out of the shower and dressing him. I didn't like anyone, even Shelly, seeing his body in the raw. That was for my eyes only.
I quickly let it be known that I would be helping Jack from here on out and that Shelly's assistance was no longer needed. I wasn't a dick about it, I simply pulled Shell aside, thanked her for all her help, and then told her that Jack was now my responsibility. Instead of getting defensive or weird about it, she simply blushed and laughed a little. I don't know why.
"How are you feeling today?" I asked, sitting down beside Jack in his bed.
Jack rolled onto his back, looked at me, and smiled. "A lot better. Still not a 100%, but better."
I smiled back. I always do. "Good. Let me get you something from the cafe for breakfast. What would you like?"
Jack sat up, his hair sticking up in a million directions. "I think I'll go with you to the cafe. I need to get out of this apartment."
"You sure?"
Jack nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Let me get dressed."
I watched Jack weakly rise from the bed. "Jack, sit down. I'll get some clothes for you," I said, and hurried toward the closet, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. "Here."
Jack smiled again and touched my cheek. "Thanks."
*************************
When we entered the cafe, I looped an arm around Jack's waist to help guide him though the throng of people there.
"What can I get you, Jack?" I asked once Jack sat down.
"Coffee and a bagel would be great," he replied quietly.
"Okay."
I fixed Jack a warm bagel and cup of coffee and quickly returned to our table. I was none too thrilled to see some strange man sitting in my seat, chatting away with Jack.
"Hey," I said with a nod in the stranger's direction. The nod meaning: Who the hell are you? And get the hell out of my chair.
"Ennis, this is Jay. He's a good friend of Shelly's," Jack introduced.
"Hi," I said, extending my hand for a shake.
"Jay, this is Ennis," Jack said, a subtle brush of his fingertips to the small of my back. "He's my boyfriend."
Okay, ever see "How the Grinch Stole Christmas?" Remember the part when the Grinch's heart swelled ten times its natural size? Well, that's what happened to me at the very moment. Jack and I have declared the 'boyfriend thing' in the past, but it was different this time. This time, it was solid, and truly meant something more than words.
"Nice to meet you, Ennis," Jay said.
I opened my mouth and glanced at Jack. I probably looked like I was a special-needs person, but love will screw with ya like that sometimes.
Jay rose from my chair. "I best be goin'. Glad you're feeling better, Jack. And nice to meet you, Ennis."
As soon as Jay left, I returned to my seat and handed Jack his breakfast. "How um, how does Jay know Shell?"
Jack took the lid off of his cup of coffee, and raised it to his mouth, the steam tickling his nose. "They're good friends. Jay was a patient here years ago. You think she was hard on you when you first got here?" Jack chuckled. "Hah! You have no idea. She was brutal on Jay. But, as always, her heart was in the right place. She practically saved his life."
I choked down a small piece of my bagel. I wasn't even really hungry. The butterflies that bombarded my stomach after Jack introduced me to Jay as his boyfriend must have short circuited the hunger censor in my brain. "Doctor Lambertus really picked some great people to work for him." I lowered my head. Never thought it was possible feel pathetic, love-sick, embarrassed, giddy, and cheesy all at the same time, but it is. And to make matters worse, I could feel Jack studying my face. I looked up for a split second.
Jack snorted out a laugh and playfully kicked me under the table. "Would you look at me?" he said through a broad smile.
I lifted my eyes to his, smiling like a four year-old of course, and said, "Hi."
Jack laughed a loud genuine laugh. The butterflies in my stomach were loving this. "You're a goofball." Jack smacked the top of my thigh under the table. "Why are you all smiles, huh?"
I blushed, loving that he knew damn well what I was smiling about, but asked anyway. "Cut it out, Jack. If my face gets any redder, it's gonna interfere with the NASA satellites they got goin' on up there," I said, gesturing toward the ceiling.
Jack chuckled, reached across the table, and caressed the length of my arm. "You always make me smile, you goon."
"I'm glad you're feeling better, Jack."
"Me, too. Damn was I sick." Jack spread a thick layer of cream cheese on his bagel. "How have you liked working here?"
I took a sip of my coffee and wiped my mouth. "Good. I mean, great. I...I really like it. I just...I just don't know where I stand in all this, ya know? Now that you're feeling better, and able to work again, does that mean I'm gonna get the boot? Or...or am I actually working here?"
Jack's face tensed and he looked into my eyes. "I don't know, Ennis. But either way, I will take care of you. I promised you that. I know I fucked up majorly along the way, but I have every intention of keeping that promise to you, okay?"
I slowly nodded. "I haven't heard from my mother in forever. I don't even think she's living at my old house anymore. I tried calling a couple times, but the phone has been disconnected."
Jack must have seen the panic in my eyes, because he reached across the table and placed his hand atop of mine. "Everything is going to work out for us. It has to."
******************
Jack and I finished breakfast and headed back to his apartment for a little bit before I had to get to work.
"Come here," Jack whispered, approaching me from behind, wrapping his protective arms around my chest. "Hm," he hummed, and kissed my neck.
I huffed out a breath when I felt a warm rush of blood fill my dick to its capacity. I turned around real fast and kissed Jack hard. Almost frantic-like. I love the way he tastes. I love the feel of his tongue in my mouth. I love the way he pants against my lips when we need to come up for air.
A knock on the door broke us apart. "Jack? Ennis? Are you in there?" Dr. Lambertus asked.
I shook my head to collect my thoughts and adjusted my erection. Jack did the same and then opened the door.
"Hey, Doc," Jack said.
"Jack. You're looking much better. How are you feeling?" Doc asked.
"Great. Well, not great-great, but better."
Doc nodded, glanced at me and then back at Jack. "Well, I need you guys to come to the conference room." Doc directed his gaze to Jack again. "That is, if you're up for it, Jack."
Jack shook his head. "Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. What's up?"
Doc dragged his hand down his face and groaned. "What isn't up is the question. Had a new kid get his hands on some dope last night and almost overdosed."
"Last night?" I interrupted. "When? I didn't hear any commotion?"
"It was late, 'round two in the morning. I have no idea how the hell he got the drugs in here, but you know how addicts are. If they want something bad enough, they're going to get it," Doc replied.
Doc is right. When an addict wants and needs something bad enough, they'll go to any length to get it. Guess you could say that's how I was with Jack. I wanted and needed him the same way I needed a fix. And I sure as hell went to great lengths to get him. This is an addiction I am willing to live with though, and no one can and will convince me otherwise.
"Anyway," Doc continued. "The whole ordeal has really shaken up the other patients, and to top it all off, I have five new people arriving this afternoon."
"Jesus," Jack mumbled. "Well, we'll do anything you need us to do, Doc," Jack said, looking back at me. He winked and I tried not to smile.
*****************
Wow. Talk about intense. The meeting with Dr. Lambertus and the other staff members got pretty heated. Aside from the kid that got messed up while under our care, there were a lot of fingers being pointed over topics that I didn't understand. I remained quiet the entire time and just listened to what everyone had to say and their thoughts on how to improve the facility. I love watching Jack in action. He may have been out of the loop for a couple weeks, but he jumped right back in the saddle. He's so confident and passionate about everything he says and does. When I grow up, if I grow up, I want to be just like him.
After Doctor Lambertus managed to smooth out most of the wrinkles, the meeting ended, and I followed Jack back to his apartment to grab my sweatshirt that I had left behind.
I was just about to enter Jack's apartment when Doc called out my name at the end of the hallway.
I turned around. The look of frustration on Doc's face made my stomach do a quick flip-flop. "Yes?" I choked out.
Doc started to walk in my direction. I wasn't sure if I should meet him half way or stay put, so I looked at Jack for the answer. Jack nodded in Doc's direction and off I went, closing Jack's apartment door behind me.
"Uh. What's up?" I asked, my voice shaking.
Doctor Lambertus ran his fingers through his hair. "Ennis. I have those new patients arriving this afternoon. I'm going to need your room. Do you think you can get your belongings out of there soon?"
I looked at down to see if in fact my heart had actually fallen onto the floor. I swallowed my tears and said, "Yes. Sir."
"Good. Good," Doc replied.
I looked up and blinked away a few stinging tears. "I...I just want to thank you for all you've done for me, Doc. I mean that. And I hate to be a pain right down to the last minute, but I don't have any money to go anywhere. Is it possible to stay just one more night, so I can figure out what I'm gonna do? I'll stay in the utility closet if I have to. "
Doc chuckled and furrowed his brow. "Leave? I'm not asking you to leave. You work here, Ennis. Well, you're on a three month probation period, but you still work here. I thought you'd be moving in with Jack. But if that's not what you want, I will find another room here for you to stay in if you'd like."
I lifted my head and my jaw hit the ground. "Are...are you serious? I work here? I can live with Jack? I can-"
Doc smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ennis. I've been so frazzled with all the nonsense going on here, and trying to get the new facility in Boston up and running properly, that I've completely neglected to discuss any of this with you. Please forgive me."
"Forgive you?" I gasped. "Doc, I... Thank you. I... I love you," I said naturally. I don't know where that came from, but I meant it.
Doc pulled me into a tight hug and, of course, I wept like a baby.
"Love you, too, kid. You've come a long way." Doc pulled back and gave me a good once over. "Yeah you screwed up here and there, we all make mistakes. But it's how you deal with the consequences that counts. You've grown so much in the short time I've known you, Ennis. And, I like having you around here. Not to mention you're one hell of a computer whiz." Doc grinned, crinkling the corners of his tired eyes.
"I don't know what to say," I said, wiping my eyes dry. "Thank you."
"You bet. Now, you're technically on a three month probation period, as I do for all new employees."
Never having had had a real job, I asked, "What does that mean?"
"It's just what some employers do to be sure they've made the right decision. The probation period basically allows employers to let people go in that time frame if it's not working out, without having to worry about any employment legality stuff."
I nodded. "Oh. I see."
"Well, I've got to run. We'll catchup on Monday. I need you to sign a few documents and we'll discuss salary and things of that nature. Sound good?"
Sound good? Sounds great. "Yes, sir."
"Very well then." Doc smiled and walked away, leaving me in the vacant hallway grinning ear to ear.
Usually when good things happen to me, I immediately shift into panic mode, and begin a countdown in my head as to when it's all going to blowup in my face, but that didn't happen this time. "I earned this," I said to myself. God, what a feeling.
After I snapped out of my happy-trance, I bolted into Jack's apartment. "Jack!" I shouted, even though he was just a couple feet away from me sprawled out on the couch.
"What did he say?" Jack asked, sitting up.
"I...I work here! I fucking work here!" Beyond excited, I rubbed my hands together really fast because I didn't know what else to do with them.
Jack quickly rose from the couch and threw his arms around me. "I knew you could do it..."
I pulled away, wanting to see Jack's face when I told him the rest of the good news. "He also said I could stay here with you." I paused, waiting for Jack's reaction. "If that's okay..."
Jack smiled, showing the whites of his back molars. "Yeah, you're alright. I guess you can stay here," he teased.
I punched his arm. "Cut it out."
Jack yanked me back into his arms and kissed the top of my head. "Home," he whispered.
***************
Later that night, after work and moving my belongings into our apartment, I crawled into bed in the flesh with my Jack. Words can't even begin to describe how I felt, so I won't even attempt it.
Jack turned off the TV, the moonlight seeping through the open blinds, illuminating his perfect face. "C'mere," he murmured, pinning me to the mattress, swallowing my breath with a kiss. I dug my fingernails into his back when I felt his tongue slide along the roof of my mouth, a small moan sounding deep in my throat along with a soft exhalation of breath, speaking of surrender.
Jack moved a little, grinding his body against mine, his want for me evident, pushing hard against my stomach. I thrust up to meet him and trailed a finger down the center of his chest. The skin was beautifully pale, with some tiny freckles and sparse hair scattered around his nipples. Jack dove in for another kiss, and I held my breath for a moment as the fire low in my belly flared hot.
"Jack?" I gasped, my hand disappearing beneath the covers, taking hold of what was mine. I looked up under my eyelashes. "Can...can I try?" I lowered my gaze. "Is that allowed?"
Jack nudged my chin with the tip of his nose, encouraging me to look up. I did and Jack smiled. "Of course you can, baby..."
I swallowed around the lump of sudden anxiety in my throat. "Really?" I said, my voice cracking.
Jack nodded and reached for the lube in the nightstand drawer. He handed it to me, and I watched breathlessly as he flipped onto his knees, and spread his legs, presenting his ass.
I lifted myself up off my back and approached Jack from behind. "Jack, I want to see you. I want to see your face."
Jack looked over his shoulder, his eyes soft and understanding. "I know. But it'll be easier this way for your first time topping."
I caressed one of the pale cheeks before me. "Okay," I said when I could trust my voice again, and knee-walked a little closer to my target, my erection bobbing in sync with each step. "Do I...just do it?" I asked, trying my very best to sound like I had a shred of confidence pulsing through my veins, but from the look on Jack's face, I knew I had failed.
Jack softly smiled. "I need a little preparing first."
After a few silent seconds, the light bulb in my brain flickered on. "Oh, yeah. Sorry...," I muttered.
"Relax, Ennis. It's just me. It's just me..."
It's just Jack. It's just my entire world. I clenched my jaw, squirted a liberal amount of jelly into my palm, and tossed the tube onto the bed. It was a quick succession of one, two, then three fingers pushing and stretching and preparing, and I was already feeling the climb of my orgasm.
I glanced down at my cock, watching as it trembled and a pearl of moisture beaded from the slit, glistening wetly against the plummy head. "Jack," I whimpered, my fingers slipping from his body.
"It's okay, Ennis. You won't hurt me."
I sucked in a deep breath and took hold of my dick at the root. I coated my length, and inched a little closer, holding Jack’s legs apart with my thighs. Jack pushed out and I slowly eased the tip of my heat inside. A low rumble escaped Jack's mouth and he pushed back, his insides warm, and tensing around me.
"My God, Jack..." I whispered a slew of obscenities under my breath, overwhelmed with the sensation, the connection, the hunger, and intensity of the moment.
"Ennis," Jack cried out. "Deeper. Come on."
A burning frenzy ignited low in my stomach and in one unstoppable thrust, I sheathed myself deep, steadying myself, gripping Jack's hips, fingernails digging into flesh.
Jack threw his head back. "Shit, Ennis. Shit," he sputtered out through gritted teeth.
My movements were awkward at first, but I was determined. Determined to be the lover Jack needed and deserved. I worked my hips, thrusting into Jack at a steady pace, trying not to look down at the vision that was sure to make me come.
"Ahh, God...," Jack ground out, fisting the sheets, cursing and begging me to give it him, give it all to him.
The slap of flesh against flesh, the sound of harsh breathing, and Jack’s throaty moans filled the small room until in a moment of stillness, almost calm, took over, and my orgasm slammed into me like bolt of lighting. I squeezed Jack's hips, my palms damp with sweat, and rode out the ultimate waves of pleasure, as I released deep inside Jack's core.
"Shit...shit," Jack panted.
Exhausted, wet, and spent, I slid my softening dick out of Jack's body and crawled along side of him, the evidence of his satisfaction smeared on the comforter.
We curled around each other in a tangle of limbs, sharing each other’s breath, listening and feeling the subtle movements beneath the sheets.
"Home," I whispered, and drifted into sleep, but not before I felt Jack kiss my forehead and whisperer back,"Home."
*******************
I never knew what it was like to have a real home before I met Jack. Jack had had a 'real' home as a kid, only to be yanked out from beneath him when he came out of the closet. Not sure which scenario is more tragic.
I don't know what forces of nature brought Jack and I together, but I am thankful every day for what ever it was. Jack and I have been together now for over twenty years. My life only truly began when I met him. He taught me everything I know, everything I am, and everything I want to be.
Everyone has their own definition of what 'love' is and what it should be. But love is different for everybody. Some may say that the love Jack and I share is addictive, enabling, and codependent and I'd have to agree with them. Is it twisted that Jack and I are perfectly okay with that? Yeah, we'd be a psychiatrists dream. But none of that matters to me and Jack. We're just happy to be alive and sober and in the arms of the angel we found in each other.
The end.