24 March 1983 - as Barnabus Blenkinsop
I think writing in here to yourself is a bit stupid, but I'm going to do it instead of smoking something I shouldn't, punching someone I shouldn't, or shagging someone I shouldn't. Somehow I think all three of those things would make me feel LOADS BETTER THAN WRITING IN A FUCKING JOURNAL but I'm going to try it.
I don't know how bloody stupid you've got to be to give yourself food poisoning. I've cooked for myself before, granted poorly, and I've never died from it. I used to do it all the time when we were all younger and Mum had to work and it was just us in the flat. And I don't know how fucking stupid you've got to be to try cooking for yourself before one of the biggest fucking matches of the year. Unfortunately we're not going to get those points back, we're going to have to earn them and we have the Wasps next month. Ludo should be playing, I don't know that he is for certain but he should be playing and that's never an easy match. Howard and Atawn are both National Team. I like playing them.
Yeah, I'm pretty fucking skived. Did the match rest of having Mariana? No, but Portree's Chasers are good. Catriona McCormack is old and good.
We still had Brock but it didn't help. Throwing in a new Chaser throws off the rhythm anyway. I still had a good match personally and so did everyone else. I don't think it killed us, it's just bloody annoying and bloody stupid.
I hate Hell Urquhart so much. I just hate her.
This is only going to work if everyone is on the same not fucking this up for the team page. I don't want to lose any more matches and I don't want to give up any more points. We're not going to keep the lead if we give teams like Portree momentum.
And I'm going to fucking punch the next reporter who asks me about Brogan and Aingeal. The League can fine me for that.
Ema Barros is fit. I'm sorry that Darius Bagnold fancies her and she hates me because of Hell Urquhart, but gods she's fit.
So is Melisande Grubbly-Plank but for some unknown reason she wants to marry Lotharius Marchbanks. For some reason, whatever that is. And Abby's in the wedding party. I don't know why Abby said yes, I bloody well don't. Except that she's a woman and women like that sort of thing. I don't fucking know, I think she should have said no, but she didn't.
Maybe she's planning on kidnapping Melisande before the ceremony.
I'm just sorry I'm never going to get the chance to shag Melisande Grubbly-Plank.
And so is Arkie Alderton. Apparently.
Alright I'm going to go have a fag, I don't feel any better than I did before, this was shit. Now I just want to shag someone.