Only one person's going to win this competition. Make sure it's you.
I swear, ANTM just makes me loopy. So this is long and rambly and may give you the impression that I am drunk. That is not the case. I'm just high on ANTM.
First things first: There is a reason Rihanna got eliminated, and it has nothing to do with her picture this week and everything to do with her picture last week. Because this:
as Rich from FourFour pointed out, is straight up Adrienne Curry. And Tyra couldn't call her out on that because that would mean acknowledging that Cycle One happened, which is something she will never do, so she could retaliate in the only way she knew how - with an elimination the following week. So, good-bye Rihanna. You were mildly entertaining that one time you wore Jay out by being a willow.
There are other things to discuss, though. Like the conversational tone with which Tyra begins every episode, "So, here's what happened last week!" I have to say it's better than last cycle's screeching, "Who the heck is going home tonight!?"
My love for Lexie only grows by leaps and bounds - it cannot be contained. I love her competent narrations of the goings-on, and the fact that she knows her ANTM back and forth. And I love that the girls this cycle don't fight over frozen vegetables (Anslee, I'm looking at you) and they don't set the house on fire via toaster (Jessica, I'm looking at you), and they know how to have an awkward barbecue. Things that will serve them well when they are posing in Vogue Italia. (But let's not lie. Kayla's got this in the bag. Her look is so Vogue Italia that it's like Tyra just handed it to her on a plate. And how do I know if something is Vogue Italia? well, I don't, but neither does Tyra, so it's moot.)
Speaking of people who seem to have this in the bag, I am so over Ann. I was over her on Day One. Mostly I'm hoping she has a Heather-esque flameout (Cycle 11) and loses. I didn't like Heather either. I mean, homegirl can't walk, or talk like a normal human being, so I'm kind of hoping she at least stays around for go-sees so I can see what the bitchy foreign fashion designers have to say about her. ("Ann? She is...tall. I think I would not book her for runway yet. Maybe for photos, but she seems...strange." Come on, you know it's going to happen.)
Checking in with my other two picks, Chelsey and Kendal: Both low-key, so it will be really obvious the day their elimination comes along. It'll be as obvious as the man-made gap in Chelsey's teeth. I do love Chris still (and I almost typed Christ, but that's kind of what she is for me on this show, so whatever) and I love her facial expressions and interjections and am really glad she's found her niche in reality TV.
(I want it known that at this point in the post, I've still only seen the first eight minutes of this episode because my computer decided to hate on YouTube again. Take that, "Glee.")
Speaking of bonkers, how about that roller coaster challenge, and the fact that the prize was a photoshoot with Tyra (even when Nigel clearly has enough time to do photoshoots and he's..."legit"?) that would be featured on her website. Now, the only thing I want featured on Tyra's website is more information about her Modelland trilogy, dammit! I don't care about her weirdo photo shoots. But the absolute best part of the whole roller coaster challenge was the fact that there were real people on the ride with them. I wish I could have been one of those people.
(This past week I've been watching way to much ANTM and having dreams about what my interview would be like if I got to the semifinalist phase and I think it's safest if being on a roller coaster near an ANTM contestant is the closest I come to that show. That or being an editor behind the scenes. I'm happy with either.)
And continuing in the bonkers theme - Tyra's Tea. What the hell was up with that? And her weird "I don't drink alcohol" which is fine for her, I guess, but I think everyone else involved with the show does, so that must make her life a little lonely. (Also awesome: Kayla's narration that Tyra's not the model stereotype accompanied with a shot of Tyra stuffing her face and commenting on the moistness of the food. I love the editors of ANTM so much, it's ridiculous).
"The girls are trippin'. They suck." Stupid sentiment, but Kacey never looked better, right? Anger/being ganged up on makes Kacey attractive. That's all she needs. She should be thanking Lexie for that.
Sea creature photoshoot? See: Make Me a Supermodel. Been there, done that. Nice try, Jay, but turn off Bravo and come up with your own ideas. But I did love that it brought Matthew Rolston's mean girl vibe into my life. I like that he just went around telling people what was wrong with them (Jane! Straighten out your eyebrows!) and Kacey thought that was cool.
But re: photoshoot - they need to stop giving the girls words. That just makes for a stupid shoot. Or at least it irritates me. Go back to having Jay just yell things at them. I liked that better. None of this pre-photoshoot peptalk nonsense. But really if Kendal doesn't like semen and she doesn't like seafood, who is sensing a pattern? Do you think she likes secrets? Or what about sepia-toned photographs? Just something to ponder (mostly because when she said, "For one, I don't like seafood" I thought for sure she was going to remind us of her semen aversion.)
And, literally, nobody on this show knows what "literally" means. Except probably Lexie, but I haven't heard her use it yet.
Anyway, I still really like the random pre-judging footage. And Tyra should be allowed to chew gum through judging if she wants. Come on producers! Don't stand in her way! But it was the usual bonkers judging and I think Nigel just takes this whole business way too seriously. I LOVE that Tyra said Chelsey looked like a reject from RuPaul's drag race, because it's TRUE. Nicole. Paige. Brooks. And Tyra knows it.
I don't have a way to end this like a normal person, so that's the end of this. I'm out.
This woman was on on "Top Chef: Just Desserts" and I'm pretty sure I want her for an extra grandmother. Just imagine what it would be like to have a famous pastry chef as a grandmother. I will be dreaming of that for the rest of the day.
First things first: There is a reason Rihanna got eliminated, and it has nothing to do with her picture this week and everything to do with her picture last week. Because this:
as Rich from FourFour pointed out, is straight up Adrienne Curry. And Tyra couldn't call her out on that because that would mean acknowledging that Cycle One happened, which is something she will never do, so she could retaliate in the only way she knew how - with an elimination the following week. So, good-bye Rihanna. You were mildly entertaining that one time you wore Jay out by being a willow.
There are other things to discuss, though. Like the conversational tone with which Tyra begins every episode, "So, here's what happened last week!" I have to say it's better than last cycle's screeching, "Who the heck is going home tonight!?"
My love for Lexie only grows by leaps and bounds - it cannot be contained. I love her competent narrations of the goings-on, and the fact that she knows her ANTM back and forth. And I love that the girls this cycle don't fight over frozen vegetables (Anslee, I'm looking at you) and they don't set the house on fire via toaster (Jessica, I'm looking at you), and they know how to have an awkward barbecue. Things that will serve them well when they are posing in Vogue Italia. (But let's not lie. Kayla's got this in the bag. Her look is so Vogue Italia that it's like Tyra just handed it to her on a plate. And how do I know if something is Vogue Italia? well, I don't, but neither does Tyra, so it's moot.)
Speaking of people who seem to have this in the bag, I am so over Ann. I was over her on Day One. Mostly I'm hoping she has a Heather-esque flameout (Cycle 11) and loses. I didn't like Heather either. I mean, homegirl can't walk, or talk like a normal human being, so I'm kind of hoping she at least stays around for go-sees so I can see what the bitchy foreign fashion designers have to say about her. ("Ann? She is...tall. I think I would not book her for runway yet. Maybe for photos, but she seems...strange." Come on, you know it's going to happen.)
Checking in with my other two picks, Chelsey and Kendal: Both low-key, so it will be really obvious the day their elimination comes along. It'll be as obvious as the man-made gap in Chelsey's teeth. I do love Chris still (and I almost typed Christ, but that's kind of what she is for me on this show, so whatever) and I love her facial expressions and interjections and am really glad she's found her niche in reality TV.
(I want it known that at this point in the post, I've still only seen the first eight minutes of this episode because my computer decided to hate on YouTube again. Take that, "Glee.")
Speaking of bonkers, how about that roller coaster challenge, and the fact that the prize was a photoshoot with Tyra (even when Nigel clearly has enough time to do photoshoots and he's..."legit"?) that would be featured on her website. Now, the only thing I want featured on Tyra's website is more information about her Modelland trilogy, dammit! I don't care about her weirdo photo shoots. But the absolute best part of the whole roller coaster challenge was the fact that there were real people on the ride with them. I wish I could have been one of those people.
(This past week I've been watching way to much ANTM and having dreams about what my interview would be like if I got to the semifinalist phase and I think it's safest if being on a roller coaster near an ANTM contestant is the closest I come to that show. That or being an editor behind the scenes. I'm happy with either.)
And continuing in the bonkers theme - Tyra's Tea. What the hell was up with that? And her weird "I don't drink alcohol" which is fine for her, I guess, but I think everyone else involved with the show does, so that must make her life a little lonely. (Also awesome: Kayla's narration that Tyra's not the model stereotype accompanied with a shot of Tyra stuffing her face and commenting on the moistness of the food. I love the editors of ANTM so much, it's ridiculous).
"The girls are trippin'. They suck." Stupid sentiment, but Kacey never looked better, right? Anger/being ganged up on makes Kacey attractive. That's all she needs. She should be thanking Lexie for that.
Sea creature photoshoot? See: Make Me a Supermodel. Been there, done that. Nice try, Jay, but turn off Bravo and come up with your own ideas. But I did love that it brought Matthew Rolston's mean girl vibe into my life. I like that he just went around telling people what was wrong with them (Jane! Straighten out your eyebrows!) and Kacey thought that was cool.
But re: photoshoot - they need to stop giving the girls words. That just makes for a stupid shoot. Or at least it irritates me. Go back to having Jay just yell things at them. I liked that better. None of this pre-photoshoot peptalk nonsense. But really if Kendal doesn't like semen and she doesn't like seafood, who is sensing a pattern? Do you think she likes secrets? Or what about sepia-toned photographs? Just something to ponder (mostly because when she said, "For one, I don't like seafood" I thought for sure she was going to remind us of her semen aversion.)
And, literally, nobody on this show knows what "literally" means. Except probably Lexie, but I haven't heard her use it yet.
Anyway, I still really like the random pre-judging footage. And Tyra should be allowed to chew gum through judging if she wants. Come on producers! Don't stand in her way! But it was the usual bonkers judging and I think Nigel just takes this whole business way too seriously. I LOVE that Tyra said Chelsey looked like a reject from RuPaul's drag race, because it's TRUE. Nicole. Paige. Brooks. And Tyra knows it.
I don't have a way to end this like a normal person, so that's the end of this. I'm out.
This woman was on on "Top Chef: Just Desserts" and I'm pretty sure I want her for an extra grandmother. Just imagine what it would be like to have a famous pastry chef as a grandmother. I will be dreaming of that for the rest of the day.
