a journalling I go...
woke up a few hours ago. luxuriating in laziness. lunch did not suit me, so I'm having breakfast. yum, TJ's Strawberry Os and non-fat frozen yogurt. and several cold glasses of water.
I don't want to move from this chair. I should go frolic in the sun, but that will require waking up. I will, just not this minute. am planning my week.
It is amazing how quickly I can lose a day. I used to think days were so long when I was a child. But time is so precious as an adult. I blink and lose half an hour. I check email and lose 2-3 hours. I sleep and lose 8 or 12. I doze off and lose 2 to 3 hours. Not lost as in wasted, but lost as in I had other ideas of how I wanted to spend that time.
I have not truly listened to myself in quite some time. I cannot say what I really want. It bubbles around me and oozes out my pores. But is so ephemeral and free that I have difficulty grasping it.
I loved to play the violin. for so long, that was my main passion in life. but even with my love, I was not goal oriented about making money with it. I had minor goals, but never took to risks to set stretch goals. So I never truly financially succeeded.
Now I have a career in a secondary love. I have to succeed. This is my life, not a video game. In a video game, you lose your life and have two more to try again. This is my only crack at it. (I already used up one metaphorical life trying to figure out the tricks and pitfalls.)
ironically I just tried my hands at cooking poached eggs. I will need some practice, but they are still really tasty.
I think today I will meditate on this comment from a speaker.
"What am I going to do with this one wild and precious life?"
just like the frozen avocadoes I just picked up from TJs, how am I going to capture moments of bliss and freeze them so that they do not lose their luster before I can enjoy them? or am I doomed to a life of avocadoes and lemons too ripe even for guacamole and lemonade respectively. I am of course now referring to the saying about making lemonade when life hands you a lemon. But spoiled fruit can only be used for compost. wait a sec. well that would be what my accountability book was referring to when it talked about recovery plans. I have a porch full of plants that are clinging to life because I don't fertilize them....hmm, I think I'm going to work on fertilizing this summer. weeding, clearing some space and growing some fresh avocadoes (figuratively) because these frozen ones don't taste so great.
Off I go...
I don't want to move from this chair. I should go frolic in the sun, but that will require waking up. I will, just not this minute. am planning my week.
It is amazing how quickly I can lose a day. I used to think days were so long when I was a child. But time is so precious as an adult. I blink and lose half an hour. I check email and lose 2-3 hours. I sleep and lose 8 or 12. I doze off and lose 2 to 3 hours. Not lost as in wasted, but lost as in I had other ideas of how I wanted to spend that time.
I have not truly listened to myself in quite some time. I cannot say what I really want. It bubbles around me and oozes out my pores. But is so ephemeral and free that I have difficulty grasping it.
I loved to play the violin. for so long, that was my main passion in life. but even with my love, I was not goal oriented about making money with it. I had minor goals, but never took to risks to set stretch goals. So I never truly financially succeeded.
Now I have a career in a secondary love. I have to succeed. This is my life, not a video game. In a video game, you lose your life and have two more to try again. This is my only crack at it. (I already used up one metaphorical life trying to figure out the tricks and pitfalls.)
ironically I just tried my hands at cooking poached eggs. I will need some practice, but they are still really tasty.
I think today I will meditate on this comment from a speaker.
"What am I going to do with this one wild and precious life?"
just like the frozen avocadoes I just picked up from TJs, how am I going to capture moments of bliss and freeze them so that they do not lose their luster before I can enjoy them? or am I doomed to a life of avocadoes and lemons too ripe even for guacamole and lemonade respectively. I am of course now referring to the saying about making lemonade when life hands you a lemon. But spoiled fruit can only be used for compost. wait a sec. well that would be what my accountability book was referring to when it talked about recovery plans. I have a porch full of plants that are clinging to life because I don't fertilize them....hmm, I think I'm going to work on fertilizing this summer. weeding, clearing some space and growing some fresh avocadoes (figuratively) because these frozen ones don't taste so great.
Off I go...