fic: First Born
First Born
Rating: R
Pairing: Cam/Vala, Cam/Qetesh
Word count: 1767
Notes: Written for the stargateland Bingo challenge. Loosely intended as a filler for Roswell but it has been over a year since I've read that book, so. don't hold me to that continuity. Essentially Qetesh has taken Vala has a host, but is pregnant with Cam's child so Vala has emerged again.
I: Question
"Is it you?" Cam asks.
He has no idea how this works. The sweat is still cooling on their bodies, his come sticky against her thighs, and he hadn't thought it would be so immediate, so far. Her body knows, understands instinctively what it must do, and Qetesh is buried. He knows the answer before Vala says anything. She breathes in deeply, stretches, reaches out and touches him. Her hands curl greedily against his skin and he leans over and kisses her, his naked chest against hers.
"It worked," she says, voice thick with emotion.
It worked. She's pregnant and for nine months, Qetesh is gone.
II: Opposite
Vala's smile is nothing like the one Qetesh gives him.
Qetesh is feral, dangerous, dark and glittering. She's beautiful, still, of course; Vala's features, her hair tumbling in rich loose curls, her body toned and fit and perfect to touch, but there's something soulless to Qetesh that makes Cam shudder in dread when she walks into the room.
There is none of that with Vala. Vala's changed. She says Qetesh is different this time. She says that before, things were vague; now Qetesh senses the potential in her, the power. Now Qetesh keeps her around, front and center, makes her witness everything.
She can't dream without nightmares, but now Cam sleeps in that big wide bed beside her every night. Now he can do something to help her. Vala is tactile and open, relying on Cam in all the ways Qetesh does not.
He's rocked by the depth of what he can feel for this woman. Every moment feels breakable and too short, and he's driven by the urge to make it count.
"We need to discuss Krin-" She starts to say, but a shake of his head stops her. "What?"
"Come say hi to me first," he says, a quiet, but firm request that makes Vala's face light up with a smile.
III. Smile
He wakes up one morning to find her wrecking Qetesh's room. They're no longer on a ship. They're on a planet, somewhere Cam's never been given name to, trapped in endless palace grounds.
He could escape if he wanted to, from here, but it would do no good. They have a timeline to uphold, and even if he took Vala with him, once she had the child Qetesh would return.
Vala feels no small amount of frustration over this, and right now that frustration is manifesting. She shouts, screams, wails at the injustice of it as her hands wreak havoc. Clothes are ripped to shreds, ornamental objects are flung into piles, shattered when possible. The servants whose sole job is now to keep them in this prison, lock them inside and pamper them, ensure that no harm comes to this child, look on in bewilderment. They cannot restrain her.
"Pregnancy hormones," Cam says to them with a cheerful smile, draping himself over one of the lounges to watch.
They don't dare interfere, not after the first one is sent rushing from the room followed only moments by a heavy vase.
She wears herself out after a few hours and drops beside him, sweat making her hair stick to her cheeks. He reaches over and pushes a damp curl back behind her ears. "Have fun?"
She breathes in deeply, nods, and smiles.
IV. Night
She wakes him in the middle of the night. "I want you to kill me."
It's jarring, the words and how serious her voice is, and he's still half asleep. "What on earth are you-"
"You have to." She's crying, he can tell. The last remnants of sleep are yanked away. "I can't do this. I can't."
He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close, crushing her to him. She doesn't care. She always wants his arms tighter. She wants to be anchored to this moment, and he understands why. It makes him feel like crying himself.
"You wouldn't leave me alone," he says, and that's enough to bring her back, because no matter how hard this, no matter the reasons that timelines need to stay as they were, right now the strength they have comes from each other.
V. Groovy
Vala rests a hand on her swollen stomach. "Tell me what we'd be doing right now if we were on earth."
It's a game she likes to play recently.
He looks up from the notes he's taking and thinks for only a moment before he starts to talk. "I think it's fall on earth now. Probably getting close to Halloween."
"Halloween? I like Halloween. Do you remember that year that I made you and Daniel take me out to that lovely festival?"
"The Halloween carnival... oh yeah, I remember it," Cam says, grinning. "You knocked 'em all dead in that Cher outfit."
She flashes him a peace sign as they laugh at the memory.
"Halloween is mostly for kids on earth," Cam says.
"Something about sweets, right?"
"Yeah. Kids dress up in costumes and go around door to door, and people hand out candy. It's called trick or treating."
"That sounds like quite a bit of fun." Her smile is wistful.
"We'll take the kid, one day," Cam says. "When we get back to where we need to be."
Her eyes meet his. They don't talk about it often, but he's been thinking about it.
It won't hurt for one of them to hope.
VI. Outdoors
He's almost frantic by the time he finds her. It's not often that she gets out of his sight, but once in a while she does seem to want some time to herself. He doesn't think much of it at first but when hours go by and she doesn't reappear he finally starts to worry.
He forces himself to walk calmly and not draw attention as he looks for her, though he wants to give in to the panic welling inside of him. He think sof her request that night she woke him up and he feels sick, his hands shaking. Tightness burns in his throat and he feels like his world is dropping out from under him.
And then he spots her.
They aren't allowed outside, but there's a huge high window that she's curled in front of.
"Vala!" He says her name, falling to his knees. He puts a hand on her shoulder and shakes her. She wakes easily, startled and sitting up.
"What- what?" She rubs her eyes with the palm of a hand and then looks at him blearily. "Cameron?"
"Vala." He can't do anything but pull her to him, burying his face in her hair. She realizes how upset he is right away, running her hands over the back of his head, down his back, just letting him hold her as long as he needs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she says, once he's explained. "I wanted to go outside and I found this spot and just... I fell asleep, that's all. Cameron-"
He shakes his head, cutting off her apologizes. "It's okay. Just... don't get away from me again."
VII. Your Choice
He prepares alone for the child.
Vala has no time for it, and no inclination. Most days she barely wants to acknowledge the life growing inside of her. When the baby is born, Qetesh will take back over. The less she feels for the child the less Qetesh will use against her.
Cam understands. He even agrees.
But he's the one that will be left here. Qetesh will keep him around. She's a bitch, cold and heartless, but she's fond of him and she enjoys how much pain it brings Vala to have Cam so close and so far away at the same time. He'll continue sharing her bed when she's bored, wiling away his years - though now with more of a purpose. This child. He hopes, prays that he can instill some humanity in it despite the Goa'uld parading as its mother. He hopes he can teach it what love and trust and goodness are. He hopes he doesn't fuck this up.
VIII. Sweet
He talks to the baby a lot.
"You're ridiculous," she says, stretched out in bed. She spends most of her days there, illness plaguing her throughout the pregnancy though she doesn't complain. He stays beside her every second of the day now and does his best to keep her comfortable. He won't allow any of the servants near her. For the past month, they've been existing in a world to themselves, eating the food that appears multiple times throughout the day but otherwise isolated. She's nearing the end of it, weeks at most... possibly days. "Stop that and come up here."
He knows what position she likes best. She sits up, groaning and resting a hand on her belly, while he moves in behind her. She starts to lean back into his arm but he stops her and pushes at her shoulders until she tips forward, hands moving to the bed to brace herself leaning over slightly. His hands go to the small of her back, thumbs digging into sore and aching muscles.
"Please never stop that." She groans in relief, almost a sound of surprise. He rubs hard, knowing by now what feels best to her.
When he's done she slumps back, loose and relaxed. She tugs at his arms until he wraps them around her and puts his hands on her stomach. "If you were a kitten, you'd be purring."
She laughs at his teasing tone. "To quote a dear friend... indeed."
IX: Family
Cam holds his firstborn child in his arms, a little girl.
Qetesh is being tended to by half a dozen servants, a hand device healing her body from the birth, cloths wiping sweaty and bloodied skin. None of them care that Cam has walks away from the spectacle that is their Goddess. None of them care that Cam cleans the baby, wraps her in a soft stretch of material.
"Hey there," he says, dread knotting in his stomach, because he's already lost. All those months of planning, of knowing what Qetesh sees for their future, of reassuring Vala that he can do what needs to be done and in the face of this baby, he knows he cannot.
She blinks up at him with wide, startling blue eyes - his eyes. He touches her cheek and her face turns to the touch slightly. Her skin is so soft. Her eyes shut again and her mouth opens, screws up the wrinkled pink face in a yawn. She's beautiful, and he knows that it does not matter what she is, he loves her all the same.
Rating: R
Pairing: Cam/Vala, Cam/Qetesh
Word count: 1767
Notes: Written for the stargateland Bingo challenge. Loosely intended as a filler for Roswell but it has been over a year since I've read that book, so. don't hold me to that continuity. Essentially Qetesh has taken Vala has a host, but is pregnant with Cam's child so Vala has emerged again.
I: Question
"Is it you?" Cam asks.
He has no idea how this works. The sweat is still cooling on their bodies, his come sticky against her thighs, and he hadn't thought it would be so immediate, so far. Her body knows, understands instinctively what it must do, and Qetesh is buried. He knows the answer before Vala says anything. She breathes in deeply, stretches, reaches out and touches him. Her hands curl greedily against his skin and he leans over and kisses her, his naked chest against hers.
"It worked," she says, voice thick with emotion.
It worked. She's pregnant and for nine months, Qetesh is gone.
II: Opposite
Vala's smile is nothing like the one Qetesh gives him.
Qetesh is feral, dangerous, dark and glittering. She's beautiful, still, of course; Vala's features, her hair tumbling in rich loose curls, her body toned and fit and perfect to touch, but there's something soulless to Qetesh that makes Cam shudder in dread when she walks into the room.
There is none of that with Vala. Vala's changed. She says Qetesh is different this time. She says that before, things were vague; now Qetesh senses the potential in her, the power. Now Qetesh keeps her around, front and center, makes her witness everything.
She can't dream without nightmares, but now Cam sleeps in that big wide bed beside her every night. Now he can do something to help her. Vala is tactile and open, relying on Cam in all the ways Qetesh does not.
He's rocked by the depth of what he can feel for this woman. Every moment feels breakable and too short, and he's driven by the urge to make it count.
"We need to discuss Krin-" She starts to say, but a shake of his head stops her. "What?"
"Come say hi to me first," he says, a quiet, but firm request that makes Vala's face light up with a smile.
III. Smile
He wakes up one morning to find her wrecking Qetesh's room. They're no longer on a ship. They're on a planet, somewhere Cam's never been given name to, trapped in endless palace grounds.
He could escape if he wanted to, from here, but it would do no good. They have a timeline to uphold, and even if he took Vala with him, once she had the child Qetesh would return.
Vala feels no small amount of frustration over this, and right now that frustration is manifesting. She shouts, screams, wails at the injustice of it as her hands wreak havoc. Clothes are ripped to shreds, ornamental objects are flung into piles, shattered when possible. The servants whose sole job is now to keep them in this prison, lock them inside and pamper them, ensure that no harm comes to this child, look on in bewilderment. They cannot restrain her.
"Pregnancy hormones," Cam says to them with a cheerful smile, draping himself over one of the lounges to watch.
They don't dare interfere, not after the first one is sent rushing from the room followed only moments by a heavy vase.
She wears herself out after a few hours and drops beside him, sweat making her hair stick to her cheeks. He reaches over and pushes a damp curl back behind her ears. "Have fun?"
She breathes in deeply, nods, and smiles.
IV. Night
She wakes him in the middle of the night. "I want you to kill me."
It's jarring, the words and how serious her voice is, and he's still half asleep. "What on earth are you-"
"You have to." She's crying, he can tell. The last remnants of sleep are yanked away. "I can't do this. I can't."
He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close, crushing her to him. She doesn't care. She always wants his arms tighter. She wants to be anchored to this moment, and he understands why. It makes him feel like crying himself.
"You wouldn't leave me alone," he says, and that's enough to bring her back, because no matter how hard this, no matter the reasons that timelines need to stay as they were, right now the strength they have comes from each other.
V. Groovy
Vala rests a hand on her swollen stomach. "Tell me what we'd be doing right now if we were on earth."
It's a game she likes to play recently.
He looks up from the notes he's taking and thinks for only a moment before he starts to talk. "I think it's fall on earth now. Probably getting close to Halloween."
"Halloween? I like Halloween. Do you remember that year that I made you and Daniel take me out to that lovely festival?"
"The Halloween carnival... oh yeah, I remember it," Cam says, grinning. "You knocked 'em all dead in that Cher outfit."
She flashes him a peace sign as they laugh at the memory.
"Halloween is mostly for kids on earth," Cam says.
"Something about sweets, right?"
"Yeah. Kids dress up in costumes and go around door to door, and people hand out candy. It's called trick or treating."
"That sounds like quite a bit of fun." Her smile is wistful.
"We'll take the kid, one day," Cam says. "When we get back to where we need to be."
Her eyes meet his. They don't talk about it often, but he's been thinking about it.
It won't hurt for one of them to hope.
VI. Outdoors
He's almost frantic by the time he finds her. It's not often that she gets out of his sight, but once in a while she does seem to want some time to herself. He doesn't think much of it at first but when hours go by and she doesn't reappear he finally starts to worry.
He forces himself to walk calmly and not draw attention as he looks for her, though he wants to give in to the panic welling inside of him. He think sof her request that night she woke him up and he feels sick, his hands shaking. Tightness burns in his throat and he feels like his world is dropping out from under him.
And then he spots her.
They aren't allowed outside, but there's a huge high window that she's curled in front of.
"Vala!" He says her name, falling to his knees. He puts a hand on her shoulder and shakes her. She wakes easily, startled and sitting up.
"What- what?" She rubs her eyes with the palm of a hand and then looks at him blearily. "Cameron?"
"Vala." He can't do anything but pull her to him, burying his face in her hair. She realizes how upset he is right away, running her hands over the back of his head, down his back, just letting him hold her as long as he needs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she says, once he's explained. "I wanted to go outside and I found this spot and just... I fell asleep, that's all. Cameron-"
He shakes his head, cutting off her apologizes. "It's okay. Just... don't get away from me again."
VII. Your Choice
He prepares alone for the child.
Vala has no time for it, and no inclination. Most days she barely wants to acknowledge the life growing inside of her. When the baby is born, Qetesh will take back over. The less she feels for the child the less Qetesh will use against her.
Cam understands. He even agrees.
But he's the one that will be left here. Qetesh will keep him around. She's a bitch, cold and heartless, but she's fond of him and she enjoys how much pain it brings Vala to have Cam so close and so far away at the same time. He'll continue sharing her bed when she's bored, wiling away his years - though now with more of a purpose. This child. He hopes, prays that he can instill some humanity in it despite the Goa'uld parading as its mother. He hopes he can teach it what love and trust and goodness are. He hopes he doesn't fuck this up.
VIII. Sweet
He talks to the baby a lot.
"You're ridiculous," she says, stretched out in bed. She spends most of her days there, illness plaguing her throughout the pregnancy though she doesn't complain. He stays beside her every second of the day now and does his best to keep her comfortable. He won't allow any of the servants near her. For the past month, they've been existing in a world to themselves, eating the food that appears multiple times throughout the day but otherwise isolated. She's nearing the end of it, weeks at most... possibly days. "Stop that and come up here."
He knows what position she likes best. She sits up, groaning and resting a hand on her belly, while he moves in behind her. She starts to lean back into his arm but he stops her and pushes at her shoulders until she tips forward, hands moving to the bed to brace herself leaning over slightly. His hands go to the small of her back, thumbs digging into sore and aching muscles.
"Please never stop that." She groans in relief, almost a sound of surprise. He rubs hard, knowing by now what feels best to her.
When he's done she slumps back, loose and relaxed. She tugs at his arms until he wraps them around her and puts his hands on her stomach. "If you were a kitten, you'd be purring."
She laughs at his teasing tone. "To quote a dear friend... indeed."
IX: Family
Cam holds his firstborn child in his arms, a little girl.
Qetesh is being tended to by half a dozen servants, a hand device healing her body from the birth, cloths wiping sweaty and bloodied skin. None of them care that Cam has walks away from the spectacle that is their Goddess. None of them care that Cam cleans the baby, wraps her in a soft stretch of material.
"Hey there," he says, dread knotting in his stomach, because he's already lost. All those months of planning, of knowing what Qetesh sees for their future, of reassuring Vala that he can do what needs to be done and in the face of this baby, he knows he cannot.
She blinks up at him with wide, startling blue eyes - his eyes. He touches her cheek and her face turns to the touch slightly. Her skin is so soft. Her eyes shut again and her mouth opens, screws up the wrinkled pink face in a yawn. She's beautiful, and he knows that it does not matter what she is, he loves her all the same.