Truth (John/Rodney, PG-13)
Title: Truth
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~650
Warnings: John's secrets are not happy ones, never mind if he keeps them for himself or others. In particular, there's mention of sex with a minor, partner betrayal, drug addiction, and murder.
Summary: John whispers his secrets into the hot skin of Rodney's neck.
Notes: For the cliche_bingo prompt of truth serum, truth spells and truth drugs (bingo card to be found here). A huge thanks to neevebrody for her speedy beta.
~~~
John whispers his secrets into the hot skin of Rodney's neck. He tried to stop it, early on, bit down on the flow of words so hard his tongue bled - and he can still taste it, sharp-sour metal, and his tongue is throbbing even now - but the truth will out. God, it will out, and it forces its way until he gives up, gives in, and lets himself be swept away by everything he's kept inside for... for pretty much his entire life.
It's spilling out now, an endless stream of words and words and words until his aching mouth is dry and his whisper-voice rough and broken, or maybe it's him that's broken. John's been talking too much. He can't tell anymore.
What he can tell is that Rodney's gone quiet. He'd been talking too, earlier, trying to drown out John's voice with his own frantic babble - "Say, did I tell you about Vogel's last moronic proposition? He honestly wanted to tie the star drive's ion exhaust to the ZPM's power inflow! Now, I know we haven't figured out how to recharge the ZPM yet, but I doubt blowing it up and, oh, killing us all could be considered progress!" and "I, uh, I really don't think I should be hearing this. I mean, seriously, Sheppard, twins?" and "God, John, stop it, please." - but now he's silent. Has been for a while, but John doesn't dare look up and meet his eyes or see his expression. John rather just stays where he is, curled up half on Rodney's lap at this point, face pressed into Rodney's neck, Rodney's arms around him rocking them both ever so slightly.
They both started out stiff and awkward and eventually just kind of melted into each other. John's too exhausted to care. He's long past feeling embarrassed. Instead, he feels weirdly safe.
He doesn't even know where the others are.
Except, Ronon left, didn't he? Some time around "and I didn't tell her I knew, didn't tell anyone, because Dad would have filed for divorce and we would have been alone with him and then she died and it didn't matter anymore," Ronon had made this odd little noise and gone away. John had barely noticed, already moving on to his next bigger secret, the one starring Todd-the-gardener and Professor Leland's daughter. Her fifteen-year-old daughter.
He thinks Teyla may have moved away while he was talking about Nancy's sister, Karen, the one who died from the drugs she'd bought from the money John had given her because she said she was "in kind of a tight spot, don't-tell-Nancy," or maybe Teyla had left after that, as John had been busy telling everyone - telling Rodney - about the baby.
"I wanted it. I... Lisa only told me after she'd given it away, but I would have wanted it. Screw High School. I never even knew if it was a boy or a girl."
John talks, chapped lips and dry mouth, aching tongue. He talks, and he keeps talking, one secret bigger than the one before - "... but I could never prove it," and "I think I loved him, a little. A lot," and "He didn't agree. Wallace, he said no." - and he knows Rodney won't tell anyone, that he'll carry John's burden no matter how much it hurts him, and it fills him with shame, relief, gratitude, regret.
And then he's done, that's it, nothing more to say; he's left with the biggest secret of them all, and he whispers it into Rodney's neck, over and over and over, as he curls up just that little tighter, like that might protect him from the fallout this one will bring. That this one has to bring.
"Me?" Rodney asks. "Me what?"
"You," John repeats for one last time, and leans up to press a kiss to Rodney's lips, to seal his secret inside Rodney's mouth. For safekeeping.
You.
.
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~650
Warnings: John's secrets are not happy ones, never mind if he keeps them for himself or others. In particular, there's mention of sex with a minor, partner betrayal, drug addiction, and murder.
Summary: John whispers his secrets into the hot skin of Rodney's neck.
Notes: For the cliche_bingo prompt of truth serum, truth spells and truth drugs (bingo card to be found here). A huge thanks to neevebrody for her speedy beta.
~~~
John whispers his secrets into the hot skin of Rodney's neck. He tried to stop it, early on, bit down on the flow of words so hard his tongue bled - and he can still taste it, sharp-sour metal, and his tongue is throbbing even now - but the truth will out. God, it will out, and it forces its way until he gives up, gives in, and lets himself be swept away by everything he's kept inside for... for pretty much his entire life.
It's spilling out now, an endless stream of words and words and words until his aching mouth is dry and his whisper-voice rough and broken, or maybe it's him that's broken. John's been talking too much. He can't tell anymore.
What he can tell is that Rodney's gone quiet. He'd been talking too, earlier, trying to drown out John's voice with his own frantic babble - "Say, did I tell you about Vogel's last moronic proposition? He honestly wanted to tie the star drive's ion exhaust to the ZPM's power inflow! Now, I know we haven't figured out how to recharge the ZPM yet, but I doubt blowing it up and, oh, killing us all could be considered progress!" and "I, uh, I really don't think I should be hearing this. I mean, seriously, Sheppard, twins?" and "God, John, stop it, please." - but now he's silent. Has been for a while, but John doesn't dare look up and meet his eyes or see his expression. John rather just stays where he is, curled up half on Rodney's lap at this point, face pressed into Rodney's neck, Rodney's arms around him rocking them both ever so slightly.
They both started out stiff and awkward and eventually just kind of melted into each other. John's too exhausted to care. He's long past feeling embarrassed. Instead, he feels weirdly safe.
He doesn't even know where the others are.
Except, Ronon left, didn't he? Some time around "and I didn't tell her I knew, didn't tell anyone, because Dad would have filed for divorce and we would have been alone with him and then she died and it didn't matter anymore," Ronon had made this odd little noise and gone away. John had barely noticed, already moving on to his next bigger secret, the one starring Todd-the-gardener and Professor Leland's daughter. Her fifteen-year-old daughter.
He thinks Teyla may have moved away while he was talking about Nancy's sister, Karen, the one who died from the drugs she'd bought from the money John had given her because she said she was "in kind of a tight spot, don't-tell-Nancy," or maybe Teyla had left after that, as John had been busy telling everyone - telling Rodney - about the baby.
"I wanted it. I... Lisa only told me after she'd given it away, but I would have wanted it. Screw High School. I never even knew if it was a boy or a girl."
John talks, chapped lips and dry mouth, aching tongue. He talks, and he keeps talking, one secret bigger than the one before - "... but I could never prove it," and "I think I loved him, a little. A lot," and "He didn't agree. Wallace, he said no." - and he knows Rodney won't tell anyone, that he'll carry John's burden no matter how much it hurts him, and it fills him with shame, relief, gratitude, regret.
And then he's done, that's it, nothing more to say; he's left with the biggest secret of them all, and he whispers it into Rodney's neck, over and over and over, as he curls up just that little tighter, like that might protect him from the fallout this one will bring. That this one has to bring.
"Me?" Rodney asks. "Me what?"
"You," John repeats for one last time, and leans up to press a kiss to Rodney's lips, to seal his secret inside Rodney's mouth. For safekeeping.
You.
.