Special Offer (John/Rodney, NC-17)
Title: Special Offer
Rating: NC-17 (lookit that)
Word count: ~2,400
Pairings: John/Rodney
Warnings: None
Summary: Rodney was following the routine John himself had set up for them all those months ago, a careful choreography of touch and withdrawal almost like a dance, and John had no idea how to tell him that it was time to leave the two-step behind and start in on the tango.
Notes: Third and final part of the Home Shopping AU (first parts here and here). You really need to read those first, or this won't make much sense. Many thanks go to kisa_hawklin for the wonderful beta. Also, almostnever? Your turn now. ;)
P.S.: 299,999,998.
~~~
Special Offer
The first time John Sheppard tried to have sex...
Well, no, scratch that. He wasn't a virgin. The first time John Sheppard willingly set out to seduce someone, he was thirty-eight years old, his hair was starting to go grey at his temples, and the object of his attentions was ignoring him completely.
All right, that wasn't completely true, either. Rodney wasn't ignoring him, per se, he was just following the routine John himself had set up for them all those months ago, a careful choreography of touch and withdrawal almost like a dance, and John had no idea how to tell him that it was time to leave the two-step behind and start in on the tango. Talking wasn't... it wasn't really his thing. Considering his job, the irony was sublime.
"And that's all for today. Remember, if you buy three sets of McKay's awesome DeepFreeze Tupperware, you'll get an EasyPeel for free - and you know what a bargain that is." John smirked at the camera and waggled his eyebrows, no doubt giving their - mostly female - viewers all kinds of ideas just what, exactly, one could do with an EasyPeel.
"Those are not Tupperware," Rodney snapped, looking deeply offended at having his air-tight, cold-resistant, anti-freezer-burn plastic boxes compared to the doubtless inferior products of the competition. "They're... McKay-ware."
John huffed out a small laugh. "McKay, there's a lot of things I'd do for you, but I'm not selling your wares on national television." Another eyebrow-waggle made it clear exactly what kind of 'wares' he was talking about.
Rodney sputtered, John smirked some more, and all was well. Just peachy. Spiffy. Business as usual.
Only, John didn't want it to be business as usual.
He'd slowly gotten himself used to touching Rodney without wanting to run away or continue the fine tradition of spontaneous human combustion, but somehow, he'd become... stuck. If he trailed his fingers down Rodney's spine, Rodney would sigh and arch into it... and then return to drawing the plans for whatever crazy new gadget he'd come up with. If he pulled Rodney down onto the bed and kissed him until his head was swimming with the rush of it, Rodney would kiss him back... right up to the point where he fell asleep. And if he pressed his entire body to Rodney's, front to back, palms sliding down Rodney's sides and over the outsides of his strong thighs, Rodney would swallow, and whimper... and stumble into the bathroom to jerk off.
That had been great when John had been relying on Rodney's patience. Now, however, he was beginning to suspect that he'd conditioned Rodney in a way that wasn't exactly conducive to mutual fun-times, now that John had finally reached a point where said fun-times wouldn't make him pass out from manly hyperventilation.
There was only one solution.
"I don't even want to know what you want my handcuffs for, Sheppard," Detective Lorne said. "The answer's no."
There was only one other solution.
"I..." Rodney stood in the doorway to his bedroom, blinking at the candles flickering on the bedside table, the rose petals covering the floor, the super-sized bottle of lube dimpling the covers along with the box of condoms, and finally at John standing right in front of him. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Maybe." John pressed a button on the remote and the stereo came on, the not-so-soft strands of ZZ Top's Tush filling the air. Rodney grinned at him, a slight flush colouring his cheeks, his eyes glimmering in the unsteady light. He looked... god. John licked his lips involuntarily, and Rodney's grin widened.
"Not asking for much, are you?"
"I've been good," John murmured, and pulled him into a kiss. Half a year ago, it would have been too much almost immediately - the heat of it, the wet slide of Rodney's tongue over his own, the way their lips dragged as they gasped into each other's mouths. But now, now, John could barely get enough, fingers clenching into the back of Rodney's t-shirt as he pushed closer, trying to close enough so not even CERN would find a particle between them to accelerate. Rodney pushed back against him, fingers of one hand digging into back of John's neck as the other left a trail of tingling heat down his spine. John let out a little sound of encouragement as Rodney's hand grabbed at his ass, the touch nothing but exhilarating.
"Bed," he panted against the corner of Rodney's mouth, biting at the soft skin there. "Come on, I want -"
"Yes," Rodney agreed breathlessly, "are you kidding me, of course, yes."
John drew back with a last nibble at Rodney's lower lip and turned toward the bed. His hands were shaking a little as he reached for the lube and condoms and put them on the floor beside the bed, well away from the candles. When he straightened up again, he found that Rodney was watching him.
"I'm not going to ask you if you're sure," Rodney said, "but..." He trailed off, looking conflicted.
John swallowed, and pulled his t-shirt over his head, letting it drop to the floor. Keeping his eyes on Rodney, he undid the top button of his fly, then the next one, and the next. He'd gone barefoot and hadn't bothered with any underwear when he'd prepared this little scene, so kicking off his jeans meant that he was naked. He paused for a moment, self-conscious, his erection flagging a little, but Rodney was still watching him, blue eyes dark and hungry, so John went to him. His hands still shook as he fumbled with the buttons of Rodney's shirt, but he had started this. He'd be damned if he pulled out now.
Rodney's breathing sped up, but John was distracted by the way his nipples were getting hard underneath his thin white t-shirt when he pushed the button-down off Rodney's shoulders. Strangely enough, that more than anything kept him from running. "I'm sure," he murmured, and brushed a thumb over a nipple just to hear Rodney gasp, just when ZZ Top started singing about the hardships of being a rough boy. John kept undressing Rodney, kissing every part of his skin he could easily reach, running his fingers over those places he couldn't. Rodney was panting by the time John pulled off his right sock and pressed a kiss to Rodney's bony knee, but except for balancing himself with a hand on John's shoulder, he made no move to touch him.
"Don't you want to, uh... ?" John asked, gesturing down at himself as he stood. He was starting to feel a little stupid. After months of dancing around each other, had Rodney decided that this whole thing with them wasn't worth the effort after all?
"Of course I want to, are you kidding?" Rodney snapped, sounding pissed-off and breathless and so Rodney that it was weirdly reassuring. "But this isn't about me, is it?"
John stared at him. Everyone, without exception, had always told him to lie back and let them touch him. They'd probably meant it as a compliment, being literally unable to keep their hands off him, but it had never felt flattering so much as creepy. He opened his mouth, but once again all his easy, careless words had left him. Rodney was beginning to look uncertain again, so John did the only thing he could. Grabbing Rodney's face with both hands, he kissed him. Rodney opened up to him instantly, hands coming up to rest on John's hips, but except for rubbing his thumbs across John's hipbones, he didn't move them. John pulled him closer, and they both jerked and gasped as their erections pressed together.
"Bed," Rodney panted, "or this is going to be over embarrassingly -"
John spun them around and pushed him, hard. Rodney made a surprised sound as he landed on the mattress, but John was on top of him only seconds later. If he was going to be the one to do all the touching, he'd take advantage of it. He kissed his way down the inside of Rodney left thigh and up the right one. He let his fingers explore the shape of Rodney's shoulders, his biceps, his elbows, his forearms, his wrists. He ran his hands over Rodney's chest, playing with the thin hairs there, flicking his fingernails against Rodney's nipples, bending down to dip his tongue into the hollow of Rodney's throat. Rodney gasped, and then jumped as Sharp Dressed Man blared on, his chin barely missing John's temple. John started to laugh helplessly as Rodney flailed for the remote and shut off the stereo, complaining loudly about some people's questionable taste in music.
"I'm sorry," John gasped, and tried to press a kiss to the side of Rodney's neck, only to snort when he remembered Rodney's look of startled outrage.
"Oh, for..." Rodney pushed him off and bent over the side of the mattress. It was John's turn to look startled when Rodney slapped the bottle of lube into his left hand. "Here, get on with it, will you?"
"Yes, sir." John gave him a mock salute with his right hand, noting with interest that Rodney's face turned a slightly darker shade of red as he did so. Something to keep in mind for later. For now, though, he'd better get on with it before Rodney smacked him with the remote.
He coated his fingers with lube, noting distractedly that his hands weren't shaking anymore. Rodney twitched when John reached behind his balls, but spread his legs with a sigh as John opened him up carefully, one hand still stroking over Rodney's skin as he worked his fingers in and out of Rodney's ass. All of Rodney's self-consciousness seemed to have left him as he twisted his hips, as he spread his legs wider, and wider still, letting out a soft moan whenever John brushed against his prostate.
"Yeah," John said nonsensically, fumbling with the condom wrapper and finally handing a new one to Rodney so he could open it. "That's... thanks."
Rodney waved one hand limply before he let it flop back down onto the mattress. "Oh, you're welcome." He looked utterly wrecked, and John had to swallow at the sight of him, spread out and waiting for John to fuck him. John's cock was so hard it hurt as he rolled the condom over it, and then his hands were running over the back of Rodney's thighs and his cock was pressed against Rodney's ass, and he lined himself up and nudged, and...
And...
Sweat broke out all over his skin, his pulse racing so fast it felt like his heart was lodged somewhere at the base of his throat. He froze, his hands resting on Rodney's hips, the very tip of his cock inside Rodney, and it was hot and slick and messy and too close, too much. He couldn't do this. He really, honestly couldn't do this.
"Rodney," he croaked, his voice as dry and dead as something that had spent too much time in the desert.
"John," Rodney gasped, breathless, lost somewhere between a moan and a whine, and John stared down at him. Rodney was sweaty and red-faced and wild-eyed, one hand flailing to reach for John's. John's breath caught in his throat. "John, please."
John closed his eyes and licked his lips. Then he moved.
His cock fit into Rodney's body as if the two had been made to specs. Rodney arched and groaned, and John huffed out a laugh, loving the way Rodney reacted to every little thing as John fucked him. John hadn't done this kind of thing in a long time, but it was good, it was great, and he gasped at the feeling of Rodney's body closing around him, gripping him, tight and warm and so damn responsive it was driving him crazy.
The whole thing was over embarrassingly fast. John lasted barely a minute before he came, his orgasm rolling over him like a tidal wave. Rodney was almost completely out of it, so John forced his fingers into shaky cooperation and jerked him off with a few quick strokes before he let himself collapse half on top of him. They lay like that for a moment, breathing heavily, then John grimaced and pulled off the condom and Rodney complained about being sticky, and suddenly John found himself standing in front of the closed bathroom door while inside, the shower came on.
John rested his sweaty forehead against the wood and closed his eyes. He pulled in a deep breath and held it, counting the seconds in his head. Reality didn't change. He'd just had sex with Rodney. He'd touched Rodney all over, and then some, and it hadn't been a complete disaster. His lips tilted into a slow smile, and he breathed out again. Nope, still not going to run.
Cleaning up the rose petals was a bitch, though.
John took his time with his own shower, enjoying the way the water played over his skin. By the time he was done, Rodney was already under the covers, candles blown out in favour of the bedside lamp. John crawled under his own covers and tried to think of something to say that didn't sound mushy or stupid.
"So, uh." Rodney lay on his back, carefully not touching John as he stared at the ceiling.
"Yeah." John cleared his throat. It wasn't like the room was cold, he argued with himself. They didn't exactly need to share body heat. Besides, guys didn't do cuddling.
"That was..." The covers on Rodney's side moved as if he were trying to gesticulate. John loved him so hard he wanted to latch on and never let go.
"Yeah. We could," he cleared his throat again, cursing the candles for having sucked all the moisture from the air, "do it again. Some time."
John didn't turn his head, but he still heard the smile in Rodney's voice as he said, "Yes. Absolutely."
John huffed out a breath and rolled over, pulling at Rodney's covers until Rodney got the idea and untucked them enough so that John could sneak under them, draping a leg over Rodney's and letting one arm rest on Rodney's chest as he pillowed his head on Rodney's shoulder.
"Comfortable yet?" Rodney asked. He was still smiling. John pressed a kiss to a freckle on Rodney's warm skin and closed his eyes.
"Yeah. I'm good."
~~~
End.
Rating: NC-17 (lookit that)
Word count: ~2,400
Pairings: John/Rodney
Warnings: None
Summary: Rodney was following the routine John himself had set up for them all those months ago, a careful choreography of touch and withdrawal almost like a dance, and John had no idea how to tell him that it was time to leave the two-step behind and start in on the tango.
Notes: Third and final part of the Home Shopping AU (first parts here and here). You really need to read those first, or this won't make much sense. Many thanks go to kisa_hawklin for the wonderful beta. Also, almostnever? Your turn now. ;)
P.S.: 299,999,998.
~~~
Special Offer
The first time John Sheppard tried to have sex...
Well, no, scratch that. He wasn't a virgin. The first time John Sheppard willingly set out to seduce someone, he was thirty-eight years old, his hair was starting to go grey at his temples, and the object of his attentions was ignoring him completely.
All right, that wasn't completely true, either. Rodney wasn't ignoring him, per se, he was just following the routine John himself had set up for them all those months ago, a careful choreography of touch and withdrawal almost like a dance, and John had no idea how to tell him that it was time to leave the two-step behind and start in on the tango. Talking wasn't... it wasn't really his thing. Considering his job, the irony was sublime.
"And that's all for today. Remember, if you buy three sets of McKay's awesome DeepFreeze Tupperware, you'll get an EasyPeel for free - and you know what a bargain that is." John smirked at the camera and waggled his eyebrows, no doubt giving their - mostly female - viewers all kinds of ideas just what, exactly, one could do with an EasyPeel.
"Those are not Tupperware," Rodney snapped, looking deeply offended at having his air-tight, cold-resistant, anti-freezer-burn plastic boxes compared to the doubtless inferior products of the competition. "They're... McKay-ware."
John huffed out a small laugh. "McKay, there's a lot of things I'd do for you, but I'm not selling your wares on national television." Another eyebrow-waggle made it clear exactly what kind of 'wares' he was talking about.
Rodney sputtered, John smirked some more, and all was well. Just peachy. Spiffy. Business as usual.
Only, John didn't want it to be business as usual.
He'd slowly gotten himself used to touching Rodney without wanting to run away or continue the fine tradition of spontaneous human combustion, but somehow, he'd become... stuck. If he trailed his fingers down Rodney's spine, Rodney would sigh and arch into it... and then return to drawing the plans for whatever crazy new gadget he'd come up with. If he pulled Rodney down onto the bed and kissed him until his head was swimming with the rush of it, Rodney would kiss him back... right up to the point where he fell asleep. And if he pressed his entire body to Rodney's, front to back, palms sliding down Rodney's sides and over the outsides of his strong thighs, Rodney would swallow, and whimper... and stumble into the bathroom to jerk off.
That had been great when John had been relying on Rodney's patience. Now, however, he was beginning to suspect that he'd conditioned Rodney in a way that wasn't exactly conducive to mutual fun-times, now that John had finally reached a point where said fun-times wouldn't make him pass out from manly hyperventilation.
There was only one solution.
"I don't even want to know what you want my handcuffs for, Sheppard," Detective Lorne said. "The answer's no."
There was only one other solution.
"I..." Rodney stood in the doorway to his bedroom, blinking at the candles flickering on the bedside table, the rose petals covering the floor, the super-sized bottle of lube dimpling the covers along with the box of condoms, and finally at John standing right in front of him. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Maybe." John pressed a button on the remote and the stereo came on, the not-so-soft strands of ZZ Top's Tush filling the air. Rodney grinned at him, a slight flush colouring his cheeks, his eyes glimmering in the unsteady light. He looked... god. John licked his lips involuntarily, and Rodney's grin widened.
"Not asking for much, are you?"
"I've been good," John murmured, and pulled him into a kiss. Half a year ago, it would have been too much almost immediately - the heat of it, the wet slide of Rodney's tongue over his own, the way their lips dragged as they gasped into each other's mouths. But now, now, John could barely get enough, fingers clenching into the back of Rodney's t-shirt as he pushed closer, trying to close enough so not even CERN would find a particle between them to accelerate. Rodney pushed back against him, fingers of one hand digging into back of John's neck as the other left a trail of tingling heat down his spine. John let out a little sound of encouragement as Rodney's hand grabbed at his ass, the touch nothing but exhilarating.
"Bed," he panted against the corner of Rodney's mouth, biting at the soft skin there. "Come on, I want -"
"Yes," Rodney agreed breathlessly, "are you kidding me, of course, yes."
John drew back with a last nibble at Rodney's lower lip and turned toward the bed. His hands were shaking a little as he reached for the lube and condoms and put them on the floor beside the bed, well away from the candles. When he straightened up again, he found that Rodney was watching him.
"I'm not going to ask you if you're sure," Rodney said, "but..." He trailed off, looking conflicted.
John swallowed, and pulled his t-shirt over his head, letting it drop to the floor. Keeping his eyes on Rodney, he undid the top button of his fly, then the next one, and the next. He'd gone barefoot and hadn't bothered with any underwear when he'd prepared this little scene, so kicking off his jeans meant that he was naked. He paused for a moment, self-conscious, his erection flagging a little, but Rodney was still watching him, blue eyes dark and hungry, so John went to him. His hands still shook as he fumbled with the buttons of Rodney's shirt, but he had started this. He'd be damned if he pulled out now.
Rodney's breathing sped up, but John was distracted by the way his nipples were getting hard underneath his thin white t-shirt when he pushed the button-down off Rodney's shoulders. Strangely enough, that more than anything kept him from running. "I'm sure," he murmured, and brushed a thumb over a nipple just to hear Rodney gasp, just when ZZ Top started singing about the hardships of being a rough boy. John kept undressing Rodney, kissing every part of his skin he could easily reach, running his fingers over those places he couldn't. Rodney was panting by the time John pulled off his right sock and pressed a kiss to Rodney's bony knee, but except for balancing himself with a hand on John's shoulder, he made no move to touch him.
"Don't you want to, uh... ?" John asked, gesturing down at himself as he stood. He was starting to feel a little stupid. After months of dancing around each other, had Rodney decided that this whole thing with them wasn't worth the effort after all?
"Of course I want to, are you kidding?" Rodney snapped, sounding pissed-off and breathless and so Rodney that it was weirdly reassuring. "But this isn't about me, is it?"
John stared at him. Everyone, without exception, had always told him to lie back and let them touch him. They'd probably meant it as a compliment, being literally unable to keep their hands off him, but it had never felt flattering so much as creepy. He opened his mouth, but once again all his easy, careless words had left him. Rodney was beginning to look uncertain again, so John did the only thing he could. Grabbing Rodney's face with both hands, he kissed him. Rodney opened up to him instantly, hands coming up to rest on John's hips, but except for rubbing his thumbs across John's hipbones, he didn't move them. John pulled him closer, and they both jerked and gasped as their erections pressed together.
"Bed," Rodney panted, "or this is going to be over embarrassingly -"
John spun them around and pushed him, hard. Rodney made a surprised sound as he landed on the mattress, but John was on top of him only seconds later. If he was going to be the one to do all the touching, he'd take advantage of it. He kissed his way down the inside of Rodney left thigh and up the right one. He let his fingers explore the shape of Rodney's shoulders, his biceps, his elbows, his forearms, his wrists. He ran his hands over Rodney's chest, playing with the thin hairs there, flicking his fingernails against Rodney's nipples, bending down to dip his tongue into the hollow of Rodney's throat. Rodney gasped, and then jumped as Sharp Dressed Man blared on, his chin barely missing John's temple. John started to laugh helplessly as Rodney flailed for the remote and shut off the stereo, complaining loudly about some people's questionable taste in music.
"I'm sorry," John gasped, and tried to press a kiss to the side of Rodney's neck, only to snort when he remembered Rodney's look of startled outrage.
"Oh, for..." Rodney pushed him off and bent over the side of the mattress. It was John's turn to look startled when Rodney slapped the bottle of lube into his left hand. "Here, get on with it, will you?"
"Yes, sir." John gave him a mock salute with his right hand, noting with interest that Rodney's face turned a slightly darker shade of red as he did so. Something to keep in mind for later. For now, though, he'd better get on with it before Rodney smacked him with the remote.
He coated his fingers with lube, noting distractedly that his hands weren't shaking anymore. Rodney twitched when John reached behind his balls, but spread his legs with a sigh as John opened him up carefully, one hand still stroking over Rodney's skin as he worked his fingers in and out of Rodney's ass. All of Rodney's self-consciousness seemed to have left him as he twisted his hips, as he spread his legs wider, and wider still, letting out a soft moan whenever John brushed against his prostate.
"Yeah," John said nonsensically, fumbling with the condom wrapper and finally handing a new one to Rodney so he could open it. "That's... thanks."
Rodney waved one hand limply before he let it flop back down onto the mattress. "Oh, you're welcome." He looked utterly wrecked, and John had to swallow at the sight of him, spread out and waiting for John to fuck him. John's cock was so hard it hurt as he rolled the condom over it, and then his hands were running over the back of Rodney's thighs and his cock was pressed against Rodney's ass, and he lined himself up and nudged, and...
And...
Sweat broke out all over his skin, his pulse racing so fast it felt like his heart was lodged somewhere at the base of his throat. He froze, his hands resting on Rodney's hips, the very tip of his cock inside Rodney, and it was hot and slick and messy and too close, too much. He couldn't do this. He really, honestly couldn't do this.
"Rodney," he croaked, his voice as dry and dead as something that had spent too much time in the desert.
"John," Rodney gasped, breathless, lost somewhere between a moan and a whine, and John stared down at him. Rodney was sweaty and red-faced and wild-eyed, one hand flailing to reach for John's. John's breath caught in his throat. "John, please."
John closed his eyes and licked his lips. Then he moved.
His cock fit into Rodney's body as if the two had been made to specs. Rodney arched and groaned, and John huffed out a laugh, loving the way Rodney reacted to every little thing as John fucked him. John hadn't done this kind of thing in a long time, but it was good, it was great, and he gasped at the feeling of Rodney's body closing around him, gripping him, tight and warm and so damn responsive it was driving him crazy.
The whole thing was over embarrassingly fast. John lasted barely a minute before he came, his orgasm rolling over him like a tidal wave. Rodney was almost completely out of it, so John forced his fingers into shaky cooperation and jerked him off with a few quick strokes before he let himself collapse half on top of him. They lay like that for a moment, breathing heavily, then John grimaced and pulled off the condom and Rodney complained about being sticky, and suddenly John found himself standing in front of the closed bathroom door while inside, the shower came on.
John rested his sweaty forehead against the wood and closed his eyes. He pulled in a deep breath and held it, counting the seconds in his head. Reality didn't change. He'd just had sex with Rodney. He'd touched Rodney all over, and then some, and it hadn't been a complete disaster. His lips tilted into a slow smile, and he breathed out again. Nope, still not going to run.
Cleaning up the rose petals was a bitch, though.
John took his time with his own shower, enjoying the way the water played over his skin. By the time he was done, Rodney was already under the covers, candles blown out in favour of the bedside lamp. John crawled under his own covers and tried to think of something to say that didn't sound mushy or stupid.
"So, uh." Rodney lay on his back, carefully not touching John as he stared at the ceiling.
"Yeah." John cleared his throat. It wasn't like the room was cold, he argued with himself. They didn't exactly need to share body heat. Besides, guys didn't do cuddling.
"That was..." The covers on Rodney's side moved as if he were trying to gesticulate. John loved him so hard he wanted to latch on and never let go.
"Yeah. We could," he cleared his throat again, cursing the candles for having sucked all the moisture from the air, "do it again. Some time."
John didn't turn his head, but he still heard the smile in Rodney's voice as he said, "Yes. Absolutely."
John huffed out a breath and rolled over, pulling at Rodney's covers until Rodney got the idea and untucked them enough so that John could sneak under them, draping a leg over Rodney's and letting one arm rest on Rodney's chest as he pillowed his head on Rodney's shoulder.
"Comfortable yet?" Rodney asked. He was still smiling. John pressed a kiss to a freckle on Rodney's warm skin and closed his eyes.
"Yeah. I'm good."
~~~
End.