Things I learned about US-American culture from reading fanfic

[lavvyan]

by lavvyan, age mumblemumblecough I LOOK YOUNGER OKAY

Comments

[anmkosk]

Accurate! Thank you so much for this post, the comments have been very illuminating :)

[springwoof]

I personally know of #2, the Shovel speech, to be true (if not precisely in those words). But only in case of marriage or serious relationship. You have to remember that the US is a mishmash of cultures, some of which consider it perfectly acceptable to beat your wife, even today. The ritual threat to the new husband from the wife's relatives was to ensure that he knew she wasn't without recourse, and should he physically harm her, there would be consequences. Nowadays, it has devolved into a (usually joking) way of saying that the person (of whatever gender ) has a support network of family/friends that care, & that the new spouse should be aware of that fact. Although my spouse has mentioned that during the wedding reception, my brother pulled him aside and, well, gave him The Speech. (The Spouse would always laugh & say he was more afraid of my mom. That's smart, actually, cause my mom was pretty formidable.) I have a younger cousin, the baby and only girl, with six older brothers, every one of whom separately threatened her groom

[kisahawklin]

Lessee, let's give you a data point from somewhere in the North, where it's not hot as hell. (We call ourselves Canada south.) (I know you were being semi-facetious up there, but I think you already know how earnest I am, so while I appreciate your humor, I have this burning desire to tell you my experiences! Because validation! And other things.) (Also, ILU

[kisahawklin]

5. This never happens. We all just wish either that it would happen to us or that we would have the balls to do it to someone else. Though... we tend to lean (shaenie has a great story called With Intent that's about this phenomenon). You lean in toward people to see if maybe they lean a little too, and then you kiss! :D! (The second part leaning is the consent part - if things are uncertain, there's a chance to run away - this actually happens a fair amount in movies and fic, too, come to think of it.) And I have actually had a guy lean in to me that I didn't want to kiss and I must have made a shocked-horrified-wtf! face, because he was all "whatever, I didn't mean anything, you don't have to look at me like that." That was a massive dodged bullet. You know what, actually - I have been kissed by a dude with a crush on me that I didn't return, and it was horrible and horrifying and among my biggest, grossest dude moments ever. He actually held me still, forcibly, so he could kiss me, and if it hadn't been for the fact that it was at

[anatsuno]

Excuse me, did you say you know LOTS of people who think you unclean because you shower in the evening before bed instead of in the morning (I'm assuming, every day?). I don't know if this fact (that they think this) horrifies you but I wish to register that I am horrified by their stupidity and rigidity on your behalf. unclean, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK. Seriously.

[kisahawklin]

Hahahaha, yeah! Mostly it's a joke, they say "ewwwwwwwwwwww" and then sort of backpedal and say "I just don't feel clean if I don't shower in the morning" or "I sweat while I sleep" or something. But generally, yeah. I just laugh, because I don't really care? I've never really been worried about marching to the beat of a different drummer. <3

[colebaltblue]

I rank "shovel" (*tsk, tsk* Lavvyan, you couldn't have been paying that much attention to American culture or you'd know this was the "shotgun" speech) speech right up there with the "asking the father for permission" event in creepy patricarchal paternalistic ownership of women culture. No bueno.

[smiley_bandit]

numbers three, four and six. ^_^