(no subject)

[lawrartee]

I've been feeling particularly down these last few days (if you couldn't tell from my last post ha) and it's really frustrating because I've got so much to do and feeling down and not having any motivation is fucking me off.

I've got LOADS of craft stuff to do for Christmas:

Make dozens more wool pompoms/bobbles for a wreath I am making. It's very similar to this, except the wreath I got (£1 Matalan Clearance shop!) is massive and thus needs many more pompoms.

Make felt Christmas tree decorations for family/friends.

Make paper chain garlands

Make presents for people - including felt softie things, jam, drink mixes, baked things(biscuits et al), jam etc..

Make bows, pompoms etc for present wrapping

Bake Panforte, Christmas cake,Christmas pudding (They are lighter ones that don't need months to mature - I hate heavy Christmas cake and pudding) and ice the cake nearer Christmas.

I also need to put up the Christmas tree and decorations and buy most of my Christmas presents. December is going too fast.

I think I will definitely have to scale back my plans and undoubtedly some things will get dropped along the way. I never do everything I set out to do.

I'm also starting University again in January and I need to get myself focused for that. I AM SHIT SCARED. I've been away from studying for ages and I'm scared I won't be able to get back into it or that I won't cope. I have to think positively.

What else? Yesterday I felt too anxious to even go out of the house so I missed an appointment with Ruth and I need to reschedule it. I also need to make an appointment with Gerard. Gerard keeps saying I need to bother him more, to ring up when I need to talk to someone, to make more appointments..but that's the kind of thing I really struggle with.

Dear Father Christmas.For Christmas, please may I have lots more confidence and motivation. Thank you xx