Okay, chicks and chickadees, cats and kittens. This is the last set of sermon notes on God’s design for families and marriage, and it is about mothers
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I think there is good marriage advice in the bible but it is hard not to see some of it as outdated and sexist, especially when it was written by men in a time where women were more property than equal.
"If you don’t speak your husband’s love language to him, he will go elsewhere and find another woman to speak it to him." That's the one I have issue with, it's almost like saying it's your fault if a man cheats... it is kind of a sexist one-sided view.
The best advice in here I think is the need men have to be complimented. Women will ask for it and get it from their friends as well, guys will not get that from their friends or ask from it.
I don't know if you've read all the notes on this, but I'm pretty sure when I talked about the love languages before, I specified that it goes both ways: if the husband doesn't learn his wife's love language, she'll look for what she's missing elsewhere, too. It's a team thing. Both people have to put forth the effort, otherwise it's evident that SOMEONE doesn't care, and the marriage will fail based on that. Both people need to be in on it
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I know it doesn't mean just sex, however emotional intimacy can be even more difficult for some people to achieve. Just acknowledging it isn't enough, it takes a lot of time and practice to get there. This may not be something the other partner understands coming from a different background. For instance if one partner comes from a family where they didn't see their parents say 'I love you' often or at all, they may think that's normal so they mimic it, whereas the other person may not understand why they don't ever hear it. I know you've been talking about love languages and having partners respond accordingly to the language best suited to their partner, but it's something they may not find important or think is because they've never seen it
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I think a lot of stuff you brought up tends to come up before marriage. If it doesn't, then doesn't that already show a lack of trust or respect that will just cause problems further down the road
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Sometimes, it is that simple._y0ur_m0m__August 19 2008, 14:15:31 UTC
Sometimes there is entirely too much introspection and not enough consideration given to the other person. In other words, it's not about me all the time. In fact, it is not about me most of the time.
It is the really simple things that count, the ways you show love. For years, I told my husband daily how much I loved him, because that's what I need to know I am loved. What he needed to know he was loved was clean socks in the drawer.
As to physical intimacy, just FYI, it is not the be-all and end-all of marriage. But in a great marriage, the sex is great!
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"If you don’t speak your husband’s love language to him, he will go elsewhere and find another woman to speak it to him." That's the one I have issue with, it's almost like saying it's your fault if a man cheats... it is kind of a sexist one-sided view.
The best advice in here I think is the need men have to be complimented. Women will ask for it and get it from their friends as well, guys will not get that from their friends or ask from it.
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It is the really simple things that count, the ways you show love. For years, I told my husband daily how much I loved him, because that's what I need to know I am loved. What he needed to know he was loved was clean socks in the drawer.
As to physical intimacy, just FYI, it is not the be-all and end-all of marriage. But in a great marriage, the sex is great!
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