October 16th...
... Pity me! Pity me! Only you can understand how I feel now. I have lost all I possessed. Now you are the only one I have. Do not forsake me! She who was my happiness and for whom I lived--yes, my dear Sofie, I never ceased loving her and I would have sacrificed everything for her. I feel it at this moment. She, whom I loved and for whom I would have gladly given a thousand lives, is no more. Dear God, why do you place such a burden upon me, what have I done to deserve your wrath? She is no longer among the living. My pain is indescribable.
I do not know how I shall be able to live and bear my agony. Nothing will ever allay it. Her image will always be before me and within me. Her memory and what she meant to me will make me mourn her forever.
Everything is over for me. Why was I not allowed to die by her side, to spill my blood for her--for both of them?...
--Axel to his sister Sofie, 1793