(no subject)
My dog died yesterday.
I'm at a really weird place with my mourning. Right now I just feel numb but I've already cried three times today and I know I'll be upset on and off throughout the whole day. Probably much longer.
Merlyn was adopted from the public animal shelter in Martinez back in January 1996. She was a nine month old pure-bred Australian shepherd whose previous owners originally trained her for farm work before neglecting her and dumping her off at the shelter. Timid, shy and afraid to bark or make a noise, Merlyn was rescued by my dad and brought home to us as a surprise. Her beautiful coat and vibrant, amber colored eyes won us over instantly. We named her Merlyn because of her coat coloration - Aussies come in a bunch of different color varieties, and she was a red merle. We wanted her name spelled with a "y" instead of an "i" to make it feminine.
Merlyn brought my family so much joy. She was super friendly, yet insanely protective of our family and would get jealous if we paid attention to any other animal besides her. She had a lot of energy and loved to fetch and chase me and Simone at full speed. Like all dogs, she loved her treats and kibble and ALWAYS knew when it was 5pm - dinner time. She'd bark and come find us to remind her that it was time to be fed, jumping up and down and licking our hands. As a youngster she got in SO much trouble - breaking into the garbage bin to snack on her favorite discarded leftovers (or tissues, or tinfoil, or paper...), jumping up on the counter to devour a whole chicken carcass while we were in the backyard, sleeping on my mom's beloved (and expensive) white couch that we only use to entertain "important company." She came on every camping trip, every hiking adventure, every trip to the snow.
As she matured, her loyalty is what shined through the most. We often kept her off the leash when we took her on walks, for she would never stray to a place where she couldn't see us. When we'd be gone during the day, we sometimes forgot to close the side gate to the backyard, and when we returned Merlyn would be sitting on the driveway waiting patiently for us to get home. She recognized the sounds of our cars over any other car and could hear them all the way down the street, and she'd run down the stairs and sit by the garage to greet whoever was coming home. She would protect our cats from other neighborhood cats - especially our old cat, Emily, who was 3 pounds and really fragile. Merlyn came to Em's rescue many a time, growling and barking at the other cats who came to pick on her.
In middle school/high school, I used to sneak out at night sometimes to go meet up with friends or go do something that I know my parents wouldn't allow me to do otherwise. Merlyn liked to sleep at the foot of the stairs, so I'd carefully creep up to her, wake her up and let her smell my hand so she knew it was me, tell her I'd be back soon, then slip out through the sliding glass door that lead to our backyard. When I came back hours later, Merlyn would be sitting up by the sliding door, staring out, wide awake, waiting for me to get back. Only when I was safely back in the house would she ease up and return to her sleeping spot on the stairs. In the morning she would look at me as if to say "I'll keep your secret, but you'd better feed me extra scraps at dinner." I always did. She spent every dinner with her head on my lap.
When Alisha and I were friends and hung out every day, we always would meet each other on the Green Belt, the park and foot paths that wind through our neighborhood. We had a designated half way spot, and I'd always bring Merlyn with me to meet Alisha if she was coming back over to our house. Merlyn would happily trot beside me (no leash, of course) until she saw Alisha in the distance. She'd then charge straight ahead to go greet her, jumping up to say hello before rolling around on the grass, and then herding her back towards where I was.
My family was blessed to have Merlyn in our lives for 13 years, and she was about 14 when she passed away. in 2006, at age 11, she developed cataracts and began to go deaf. Shortly after that, she developed a bad bout of arthritis. The past few months have been extremely difficult for her. She could no longer walk up and down the stairs in our house and had a really difficult time standing up and sitting down. She tripped a lot when she walked. She stopped wanting to go on walks outside, just out to back and front yard was enough for her. She spent most of her days sleeping on her favorite rug at the foot of the stairs.
With our other pets that are no longer with us, they've given us a sign that they are ready to go. We kept waiting for a sign from Merlyn, but we realized this weekend that her sign probably would never come. She was dying slowly, but was too proud and too happy to show her pain. We could tell she was embarrassed when she would stumble, that taking a breath mustered all of her energy, that each step she took was unbearable. But she did it all with a smile on her face, to protect her family from the pain she was feeling. On Sunday morning, when she didn't even have the strength to stand up, we knew it was time.
As hard as it is to make the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep, I'm very glad that I was home this weekend. The four of us were with her as she passed on, comforting her and reminding her how much she was loved until the very last moments of her life.
I could go on and on and on about my favorite Merlyn stories, but I think I'll just tell them one by one as time goes on.
I love you, my sweet pup.
I'm at a really weird place with my mourning. Right now I just feel numb but I've already cried three times today and I know I'll be upset on and off throughout the whole day. Probably much longer.
Merlyn was adopted from the public animal shelter in Martinez back in January 1996. She was a nine month old pure-bred Australian shepherd whose previous owners originally trained her for farm work before neglecting her and dumping her off at the shelter. Timid, shy and afraid to bark or make a noise, Merlyn was rescued by my dad and brought home to us as a surprise. Her beautiful coat and vibrant, amber colored eyes won us over instantly. We named her Merlyn because of her coat coloration - Aussies come in a bunch of different color varieties, and she was a red merle. We wanted her name spelled with a "y" instead of an "i" to make it feminine.
Merlyn brought my family so much joy. She was super friendly, yet insanely protective of our family and would get jealous if we paid attention to any other animal besides her. She had a lot of energy and loved to fetch and chase me and Simone at full speed. Like all dogs, she loved her treats and kibble and ALWAYS knew when it was 5pm - dinner time. She'd bark and come find us to remind her that it was time to be fed, jumping up and down and licking our hands. As a youngster she got in SO much trouble - breaking into the garbage bin to snack on her favorite discarded leftovers (or tissues, or tinfoil, or paper...), jumping up on the counter to devour a whole chicken carcass while we were in the backyard, sleeping on my mom's beloved (and expensive) white couch that we only use to entertain "important company." She came on every camping trip, every hiking adventure, every trip to the snow.
As she matured, her loyalty is what shined through the most. We often kept her off the leash when we took her on walks, for she would never stray to a place where she couldn't see us. When we'd be gone during the day, we sometimes forgot to close the side gate to the backyard, and when we returned Merlyn would be sitting on the driveway waiting patiently for us to get home. She recognized the sounds of our cars over any other car and could hear them all the way down the street, and she'd run down the stairs and sit by the garage to greet whoever was coming home. She would protect our cats from other neighborhood cats - especially our old cat, Emily, who was 3 pounds and really fragile. Merlyn came to Em's rescue many a time, growling and barking at the other cats who came to pick on her.
In middle school/high school, I used to sneak out at night sometimes to go meet up with friends or go do something that I know my parents wouldn't allow me to do otherwise. Merlyn liked to sleep at the foot of the stairs, so I'd carefully creep up to her, wake her up and let her smell my hand so she knew it was me, tell her I'd be back soon, then slip out through the sliding glass door that lead to our backyard. When I came back hours later, Merlyn would be sitting up by the sliding door, staring out, wide awake, waiting for me to get back. Only when I was safely back in the house would she ease up and return to her sleeping spot on the stairs. In the morning she would look at me as if to say "I'll keep your secret, but you'd better feed me extra scraps at dinner." I always did. She spent every dinner with her head on my lap.
When Alisha and I were friends and hung out every day, we always would meet each other on the Green Belt, the park and foot paths that wind through our neighborhood. We had a designated half way spot, and I'd always bring Merlyn with me to meet Alisha if she was coming back over to our house. Merlyn would happily trot beside me (no leash, of course) until she saw Alisha in the distance. She'd then charge straight ahead to go greet her, jumping up to say hello before rolling around on the grass, and then herding her back towards where I was.
My family was blessed to have Merlyn in our lives for 13 years, and she was about 14 when she passed away. in 2006, at age 11, she developed cataracts and began to go deaf. Shortly after that, she developed a bad bout of arthritis. The past few months have been extremely difficult for her. She could no longer walk up and down the stairs in our house and had a really difficult time standing up and sitting down. She tripped a lot when she walked. She stopped wanting to go on walks outside, just out to back and front yard was enough for her. She spent most of her days sleeping on her favorite rug at the foot of the stairs.
With our other pets that are no longer with us, they've given us a sign that they are ready to go. We kept waiting for a sign from Merlyn, but we realized this weekend that her sign probably would never come. She was dying slowly, but was too proud and too happy to show her pain. We could tell she was embarrassed when she would stumble, that taking a breath mustered all of her energy, that each step she took was unbearable. But she did it all with a smile on her face, to protect her family from the pain she was feeling. On Sunday morning, when she didn't even have the strength to stand up, we knew it was time.
As hard as it is to make the decision to put a beloved pet to sleep, I'm very glad that I was home this weekend. The four of us were with her as she passed on, comforting her and reminding her how much she was loved until the very last moments of her life.
I could go on and on and on about my favorite Merlyn stories, but I think I'll just tell them one by one as time goes on.
I love you, my sweet pup.