dance dance dance. dancing last night with Adrian, a few other beauutiful women and a couple of wonderful boys was fun fun fun. haha. ..I wondered if the hoodie still smelled like me... ;) I'm freaking mean. mean thoughts mean thoughts. I'm so happy happy happy though. I really hope Mouse can be happy too, or is happy. if you fuck with ( Read more... )

If anyone read the post below and told Megs I was "talking trash" about her or that it was negative, fuck you. Read the entry again and find better things to do with your life then spoil others. Thanks.

told her it was over. there that goes. spoke to raphael. residency is a go. oh thank goodness. found a halau hula. maybe I'll dance again soon. it'll be good for me. i need some of that spirituality back. keep in touch with the ancestors again instead of this drifting and losing strength of soul and heart. aimless kind of. clear head. ( Read more... )

finally coming back to a semblance of being alright. m hm. and it isn't for having Megs back. we spend less time together. and funnily enough, it doesn't matter so very much anymore. she's not perfect. I'm not perfect. No one is perfect. I am confused still often enough. But playing catch is good. Hugging is good. Working out is fucking ( Read more... )

things are well. cooking dinner with Megan and Sarina tonight, might be joined by a few other people. It's kind of funny to have my best friend really back again, which makes it funny to think that she really could have been gone. I guess it goes to show that sometimes it isn't so visible to all of the world that someone could be your best ( Read more... )

Lost my aiga. Can't see or talk to my papa ever again. Can't go home anymore. I've lost home. Ignore ignore, name of the game, but it just doesn't work once in a while.

go go go. leave leave leave. as one once said. I'd like to evaporate. hm that would be nice. nice. I think only to come back into solidity somewhere else though, far away, and sunny, where family could still come. oh sun. absence of craziness and people of questionable trust. sun and smiles and le aiga hm. optimistic? pessimistic? I ( Read more... )

Hm. One persons in love with me. Quite a few people... not so okay with that, person in love with me can't be in relationship, I finally accept this, and now, missing a few people headed towards okay again, realising most of this emotional idiocy has been at the root about missing family. Again. Spoke to mum last night, was her birthday, sang ( Read more... )

I'm meeting many new good people and spending time with many new and old good people. And Megs and I are a little better. Apart and doing better. Days going kind of slow. But I should clean because Stace is coming by tonight. Yay.

when sadness settles, what is left? Is it clarity ( Read more... )