(no subject)
...I need to get this out.
I'm really afraid that I've fucked things up with one person in my social group, and that it's reflecting on me and causing the rest of the group to rethink their association with me.
We don't talk much, but every time we have interacted I've come away feeling bad. This person's older and wiser than me, of course, but they just comes across as so cool. Some of their friends are like that too, sometimes, but they seem more hospitable to me.
The only times I can remember interacting with this person were them chastising me for doing something rash, immature, or stupid. I was always making gaffes---jumping the gun, not thinking consequences through, hitting one of their pet peeves. I know that I can't win approval from everyone...but it's awkward to be in this group when this one popular person can't seem to stand me. Or at least that's the impression I get.
The rest of the group's not an even circle...there's the big group, sure, but there's smaller tight knit cliques too. I'm really only close to two people. I feel ambivalent or generally good towards the rest, but I get the feeling I don't belong.
I wonder if this is just paranoia or if there's some truth to it. Guess I'll have to judge for myself in the coming weeks.
I'm really afraid that I've fucked things up with one person in my social group, and that it's reflecting on me and causing the rest of the group to rethink their association with me.
We don't talk much, but every time we have interacted I've come away feeling bad. This person's older and wiser than me, of course, but they just comes across as so cool. Some of their friends are like that too, sometimes, but they seem more hospitable to me.
The only times I can remember interacting with this person were them chastising me for doing something rash, immature, or stupid. I was always making gaffes---jumping the gun, not thinking consequences through, hitting one of their pet peeves. I know that I can't win approval from everyone...but it's awkward to be in this group when this one popular person can't seem to stand me. Or at least that's the impression I get.
The rest of the group's not an even circle...there's the big group, sure, but there's smaller tight knit cliques too. I'm really only close to two people. I feel ambivalent or generally good towards the rest, but I get the feeling I don't belong.
I wonder if this is just paranoia or if there's some truth to it. Guess I'll have to judge for myself in the coming weeks.