Fic: A Starfleet Officer Walks Into A Bar... [PG-13]
Title: A Starfleet Officer Walks Into A Bar...
Author: leanstein
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: McCoy/Chapel
Warnings: Crack? And lots of sex talk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.
Summary: That time McCoy and Christine got really drunk and talked about having sex.
Author's Notes: for seren_ccd ♥ Who is awesome and wanted more crack fic.
---
“So, why haven’t we had sex yet?” Oh good one, McCoy. Yes, let’s start with that one.
Christine snorts and he finds this really really adorable.
She actually answers. “Well, it certainly isn’t for lack of trying, that’s for sure.”
He’s drunk, and she’s drunk. They’re both drunk and everybody in the bar is drunk. He knows they shouldn’t be dancing this close to each other -- well, if you can call standing and swaying dancing - and he really shouldn’t have his hands this close to her ass.
“Oh yeah. Remember that one time, in the supply closet after the Klingon attack? We were trying to get each other’s clothes off and my pants got caught and I tripped on my boots.” He blurts out.
“You hit your head on a shelf and we went crashing down on the floor!” Christine actually makes a crashing sound while she explains that one.
Christine points a finger at him, and says enthusiastically, “Oh! Or that time in your office where you lifted me up on your desk and then decided to climb on too and the desk broke.”
“Yeah, I had a lot of fun trying to explain that one.”
He did. From the files literally being too heavy, to Jim sitting down on his desk and breaking it. Luckily, no one guessed the real reason. Well, not that he heard of anyways. The rumour mill that week was focused on Gaila and one of the other scientists, which also involved honey and a lot of whiped cream.
“Or that one time in your quarters where we finally finally decided to do it and then we were down to our underwear and the damn Gryso - wait, no - the Granso - ugh, that blood sucking alien species who’s name I still can’t pronounce- decided to attack us.” She pouts.
Ugh. Those blood sucking aliens. Really lousy timing. Also, they suck. Literally. They’re no fun. No fun at all.
She laughs and leans her head on his chest. Her hair smells really really good. She’s also really really pretty. No, not pretty-beautiful. And smart. And witty. And has really great legs. He pulls her closer and caresses her back. She doesn’t seem to mind, just runs her hand up and down his chest while she keeps on giggling.
He looks around and remembers, oh right. They left already. Which is all well and good, he’d rather hang out with Christine anyways.
Jim, Nyota, Janice, Scotty and Gaila were here but Scotty got really drunk and started rambling on about physics and warp drives and apples and lemons and Janice and Nyota promised to take him home and Jim decided to be a gentleman and go with them. Gaila mumbled something about Christine and him being drunk and groping and getting it on and that it’s about damn time that he and Christine have sex and -- WAIT, WHAT?
Right. Subtle is not really their forte.
So yes, they’ve been working together for three years. And yes, he’s been in lust with her for about that time, and - now that he’s drunk, he can admit it, if only to himself-- that he’s been in love with her for about two. I mean, how could you not? Look at her. She’s really pretty. And smart. And witty. And-- errrr, right. He’s had this conversation with his head already. Doesn’t make it any less true though.
She’s still giggling. It sounds really nice. He runs circles on her back and she hums in approval.
They keep dancing and after a couple minutes, he pulls back; looks at her expectantly.
“What?”
McCoy just smirks and quirks his brow.
“Seriously?”
“Why not? We’re on leave. No impending attack, as far as I know of. We have a bed nearby. And I’m pretty sure the blood sucking aliens are far far away.” He’s surprised he actually said that while making sense.
He spins her around the dance floor and dips her in one swift move.
“So, what do you say Lieutenant? Care to give it another try?”
- f -
Author: leanstein
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: McCoy/Chapel
Warnings: Crack? And lots of sex talk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately.
Summary: That time McCoy and Christine got really drunk and talked about having sex.
Author's Notes: for seren_ccd ♥ Who is awesome and wanted more crack fic.
---
“So, why haven’t we had sex yet?” Oh good one, McCoy. Yes, let’s start with that one.
Christine snorts and he finds this really really adorable.
She actually answers. “Well, it certainly isn’t for lack of trying, that’s for sure.”
He’s drunk, and she’s drunk. They’re both drunk and everybody in the bar is drunk. He knows they shouldn’t be dancing this close to each other -- well, if you can call standing and swaying dancing - and he really shouldn’t have his hands this close to her ass.
“Oh yeah. Remember that one time, in the supply closet after the Klingon attack? We were trying to get each other’s clothes off and my pants got caught and I tripped on my boots.” He blurts out.
“You hit your head on a shelf and we went crashing down on the floor!” Christine actually makes a crashing sound while she explains that one.
Christine points a finger at him, and says enthusiastically, “Oh! Or that time in your office where you lifted me up on your desk and then decided to climb on too and the desk broke.”
“Yeah, I had a lot of fun trying to explain that one.”
He did. From the files literally being too heavy, to Jim sitting down on his desk and breaking it. Luckily, no one guessed the real reason. Well, not that he heard of anyways. The rumour mill that week was focused on Gaila and one of the other scientists, which also involved honey and a lot of whiped cream.
“Or that one time in your quarters where we finally finally decided to do it and then we were down to our underwear and the damn Gryso - wait, no - the Granso - ugh, that blood sucking alien species who’s name I still can’t pronounce- decided to attack us.” She pouts.
Ugh. Those blood sucking aliens. Really lousy timing. Also, they suck. Literally. They’re no fun. No fun at all.
She laughs and leans her head on his chest. Her hair smells really really good. She’s also really really pretty. No, not pretty-beautiful. And smart. And witty. And has really great legs. He pulls her closer and caresses her back. She doesn’t seem to mind, just runs her hand up and down his chest while she keeps on giggling.
He looks around and remembers, oh right. They left already. Which is all well and good, he’d rather hang out with Christine anyways.
Jim, Nyota, Janice, Scotty and Gaila were here but Scotty got really drunk and started rambling on about physics and warp drives and apples and lemons and Janice and Nyota promised to take him home and Jim decided to be a gentleman and go with them. Gaila mumbled something about Christine and him being drunk and groping and getting it on and that it’s about damn time that he and Christine have sex and -- WAIT, WHAT?
Right. Subtle is not really their forte.
So yes, they’ve been working together for three years. And yes, he’s been in lust with her for about that time, and - now that he’s drunk, he can admit it, if only to himself-- that he’s been in love with her for about two. I mean, how could you not? Look at her. She’s really pretty. And smart. And witty. And-- errrr, right. He’s had this conversation with his head already. Doesn’t make it any less true though.
She’s still giggling. It sounds really nice. He runs circles on her back and she hums in approval.
They keep dancing and after a couple minutes, he pulls back; looks at her expectantly.
“What?”
McCoy just smirks and quirks his brow.
“Seriously?”
“Why not? We’re on leave. No impending attack, as far as I know of. We have a bed nearby. And I’m pretty sure the blood sucking aliens are far far away.” He’s surprised he actually said that while making sense.
He spins her around the dance floor and dips her in one swift move.
“So, what do you say Lieutenant? Care to give it another try?”
- f -