[tod] it's funny how these feelings feel so empty
He watched as Dean slept, after they had spoken and his brother came back to watch over him. Castiel wasn't sure exactly why he was sticking around, other than being unable to process the hole in himself he was feeling. He hadn't been stabbed, Anna had saved him from Uriel and yet he felt…
Castiel moved fluidly from the hospital back to the motel room he and Uriel had recruited Dean from. He paced slowly; up and down one side of a bed and then the other. He moved to the window, the curtain pulling aside without help from his hand and then swinging back down again. He sat. He stood back up. He opened a closet door to peek inside; maybe the answer to dealing with all of this sudden emotion was hiding there.
Just when he had begun to reassert his faith in God, everything turned upside-down on him. Anna, Uriel -- Sam, they were all something that Castiel wasn't sure he knew names for. They certainly weren't what they all claimed to be in any capacity and now he wasn't sure that he was, either. He removed the coat from his shoulders, this time choosing to pinch it between his fingers rather than simply cause it to be. Then the jacket underneath that, and his shirt. He stood in the center of the motel room, unbuttoning and then unzipping his pants, began to pull them down. Never having practiced this or done it, Castiel found himself pitching forward and rather than righting himself, he hit the rough carpet face-first, and lay there.
And lay there.
Prompt: How does it feel?