Big rewards take big risks, AJ. Your life will never change if you keep doing the same things. :) If you want support, you have to be vulnerable. If you want love, you have to work for it. It's not a feeling, it's a choice you make 100 times a day.
You're acting like you don't have any choice in your own behaviors, and that's a place of powerlessness that you are putting yourself in. The good news is, you can also give that power back. If you don't like the after-effects of the kind of behavior the 'rockstar' is putting out, then change it up a little. Act differently and see if you get different results. Those different results, if they're positive, will fuel further changes. You don't have to do it all at once. Just pick off little nibbles here and there until you can take larger bites. What I meant about love is -- it's not like this fleeting thing that comes and goes of its own volition. Love is as much a series of choices we make every single day as it is that lovely chemical response we feel in our bodies. If you want something that's more than fleeting, you have to treat it that way. Hold it as precious and make the kinds of decisions and take the kind of actions that make it feel that way. Love stays, but you have to nurture it.
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