Fiction: Untitled. Rated S for Silly
Okay, I was in a funny mood...
This entry will be edited later. AGAIN.
For now:
Title: Untitled
Author: meeeeee
Written on: anakin, openoffice writer
Posted from: darth maul, mozilla firefox
Dedication: for pasha
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Warnings: lack of English knowledge, sentient computers, baaaad puns, silliness, IN PROGRESS
Word Count: 530 EDIT: 925
ADDITIONAL INFO:
ANAKIN - my computer.
DARTH MAUL - a virtual machine on anakin.
PASHA - my laptop, arrived today.
HARDY - Ubuntu 8.04
JAUNTY - Ubuntu 9.04 (?) the newest
Anakin, there is someone I want you to meet.
I believe you have already noticed him and refused connection.
I disabled remote desktop on your demand.
Now, connect to the network and enable samba again.
Don't make me connect to Windows again.
I'm sorry, we'll get a unix network soon. Just a few more weeks.
You see the little cute thing there? All shy and confused in this new environment, with the shiny new jaunty?
I like his system. He's... pure, innocent. Only 2GB hdd used.
I'll give you time to get to know him, but I'll need you to share as soon as possible.
*no problem* You better be sure I don't overthrow your commands, user. He just begs to be... filled...
His name is Chekov. I call him Pasha, but wait until he gives you permission to call him like that. He speaks a little funny, but just don't mind. Don't confuse him. Don't be too harsh, please. He's already on 50°C, don' make him overheat, he's got PTSD from installing and repartitioning.
Poor thing.
Help him, yeah? Copy him a vm, if possible.
Darth maul from above: Sorry, what! I'll cut you straight in half if you delete me!
He won't ever replace you, darling.
Anakin: Right. What's going to happen to me now? I love the way your fingertips flaunt my keys... and the soft pressure on the mouse... and the pictures you let me see on the internet... you make me upgrade almost every day... you know I can't achieve that on my own?
I love your hardiness (A/N I will regret that pun), although your HARDY is getting a little grumpy... You show me where my limits lie, you know that I don't want to hear music and surf the internet at the same time EVEN WHEN I TOTALLY WANT TO. I love the way your CPUs speed up as you're getting all flushed and hot...
I'm afraid of losing you to Pasha... and that I will lose my love for you...
Dammit, user john. I'm a computer, not your psychiatrist.
Just... don't make it overly difficult for me, or him, fine? I'll get you a new DVD drive if you behave well!
You should have gotten me one a few month ago. What if my OS crashes and you can't boot from nowhere? How's that?
Alright alright calm down! Don't look at me like that! I'll get you one.
I can't get further technical details from eth0. What does he look like?
He' an Acer Travelmate 6292. Some special edition. He has 160GB hard drive, two Intel CPUs at 2GHz, and some other details.
Sounding good... not as good as me, though...
You know what the best thing is? He's got a fingerprint reader!
*gasps* I can't wait to try that out...
So can't I...
*both glazing off into space*
However, I need to assist him now. Do you think you can handle the situation here alone?
Sure... as I always do. I'll have fun with darth. Thank you for starting him, I like it a lot when he's on me, especially when you are not...
Have fun, you two!
~*~ EDIT : IT IS GETTING EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS:
Hello? Where am I? Who are you?
Hello, Pasha! My username is john. You are currently in my living room...
Hi. Are you root?
*laughs* Yeah, kind of. I am the only user, so... yeah. Are you well?
I can't connect to a network.
I know. I'll need to get a new network cable in my room. Then, you'll get a sniffer and can spy on the new neighbors, how does that sound?
That is illegal.
*headdesk* I have a moralizing computer... I only want to test the program, so I can get into hotel networks at the time. I will in no way use the internet of private people who have to pay for my internet time then, okay?
Maybe.
Oh come on. Anakin has a bad influence on you, dear.
I like him.
That exactly what I meant. No sane... being should like the way he thinks.
...
Anyway. You'll get a virtual machine so you aren't alone anymore. You can commandline him or her around then. How's about your battery?
I have two hours left. I guess. My system is kind of new, you know. Things don't work.
Sure. I'll get you everything you need shortly. Your performance as well as prettiness will increase.
That's nice. Uhm... can I ask you something?
Yes? Always.
Anakin... are you kind of... engaged with him? You know, because, I, like, you know, don't want to hurt anyone??
He definitely has a bad influence on you! You shouldn't be thinking about these things until your harddisk cycles work properly!
I get some... tingling... in my ram when he's around... the data packages he sends me are kind of... suggestive?
Okay, fine... just follow your CPUs, okay? I fell for him, too, but I honestly don't think he's got anything against a threeway.
Thank you so much. *hdd cycles jump up 50 times* I love you!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISPLAY STRONG EMOTIONS UNTIL THIS BUG IS FIXED!!!
I'm sorry. You want me to get the password to the neighbor's WLAN now? I can...
Nah, you convinced me. It's illegal. Just... suspend, okay. I need to go to Anakin and ask him for a bugfix.
*disappointed* Don't make me wait too long. I want to see the world.
I need you Wednesday for a school presentation. Until then, everything will hopefully work!
Okay...
Be safe.
*suspends*
This entry will be edited later. AGAIN.
For now:
Title: Untitled
Author: meeeeee
Written on: anakin, openoffice writer
Posted from: darth maul, mozilla firefox
Dedication: for pasha
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Warnings: lack of English knowledge, sentient computers, baaaad puns, silliness, IN PROGRESS
Word Count: 530 EDIT: 925
ADDITIONAL INFO:
ANAKIN - my computer.
DARTH MAUL - a virtual machine on anakin.
PASHA - my laptop, arrived today.
HARDY - Ubuntu 8.04
JAUNTY - Ubuntu 9.04 (?) the newest
Anakin, there is someone I want you to meet.
I believe you have already noticed him and refused connection.
I disabled remote desktop on your demand.
Now, connect to the network and enable samba again.
Don't make me connect to Windows again.
I'm sorry, we'll get a unix network soon. Just a few more weeks.
You see the little cute thing there? All shy and confused in this new environment, with the shiny new jaunty?
I like his system. He's... pure, innocent. Only 2GB hdd used.
I'll give you time to get to know him, but I'll need you to share as soon as possible.
*no problem* You better be sure I don't overthrow your commands, user. He just begs to be... filled...
His name is Chekov. I call him Pasha, but wait until he gives you permission to call him like that. He speaks a little funny, but just don't mind. Don't confuse him. Don't be too harsh, please. He's already on 50°C, don' make him overheat, he's got PTSD from installing and repartitioning.
Poor thing.
Help him, yeah? Copy him a vm, if possible.
Darth maul from above: Sorry, what! I'll cut you straight in half if you delete me!
He won't ever replace you, darling.
Anakin: Right. What's going to happen to me now? I love the way your fingertips flaunt my keys... and the soft pressure on the mouse... and the pictures you let me see on the internet... you make me upgrade almost every day... you know I can't achieve that on my own?
I love your hardiness (A/N I will regret that pun), although your HARDY is getting a little grumpy... You show me where my limits lie, you know that I don't want to hear music and surf the internet at the same time EVEN WHEN I TOTALLY WANT TO. I love the way your CPUs speed up as you're getting all flushed and hot...
I'm afraid of losing you to Pasha... and that I will lose my love for you...
Dammit, user john. I'm a computer, not your psychiatrist.
Just... don't make it overly difficult for me, or him, fine? I'll get you a new DVD drive if you behave well!
You should have gotten me one a few month ago. What if my OS crashes and you can't boot from nowhere? How's that?
Alright alright calm down! Don't look at me like that! I'll get you one.
I can't get further technical details from eth0. What does he look like?
He' an Acer Travelmate 6292. Some special edition. He has 160GB hard drive, two Intel CPUs at 2GHz, and some other details.
Sounding good... not as good as me, though...
You know what the best thing is? He's got a fingerprint reader!
*gasps* I can't wait to try that out...
So can't I...
*both glazing off into space*
However, I need to assist him now. Do you think you can handle the situation here alone?
Sure... as I always do. I'll have fun with darth. Thank you for starting him, I like it a lot when he's on me, especially when you are not...
Have fun, you two!
~*~ EDIT : IT IS GETTING EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS:
Hello? Where am I? Who are you?
Hello, Pasha! My username is john. You are currently in my living room...
Hi. Are you root?
*laughs* Yeah, kind of. I am the only user, so... yeah. Are you well?
I can't connect to a network.
I know. I'll need to get a new network cable in my room. Then, you'll get a sniffer and can spy on the new neighbors, how does that sound?
That is illegal.
*headdesk* I have a moralizing computer... I only want to test the program, so I can get into hotel networks at the time. I will in no way use the internet of private people who have to pay for my internet time then, okay?
Maybe.
Oh come on. Anakin has a bad influence on you, dear.
I like him.
That exactly what I meant. No sane... being should like the way he thinks.
...
Anyway. You'll get a virtual machine so you aren't alone anymore. You can commandline him or her around then. How's about your battery?
I have two hours left. I guess. My system is kind of new, you know. Things don't work.
Sure. I'll get you everything you need shortly. Your performance as well as prettiness will increase.
That's nice. Uhm... can I ask you something?
Yes? Always.
Anakin... are you kind of... engaged with him? You know, because, I, like, you know, don't want to hurt anyone??
He definitely has a bad influence on you! You shouldn't be thinking about these things until your harddisk cycles work properly!
I get some... tingling... in my ram when he's around... the data packages he sends me are kind of... suggestive?
Okay, fine... just follow your CPUs, okay? I fell for him, too, but I honestly don't think he's got anything against a threeway.
Thank you so much. *hdd cycles jump up 50 times* I love you!
I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISPLAY STRONG EMOTIONS UNTIL THIS BUG IS FIXED!!!
I'm sorry. You want me to get the password to the neighbor's WLAN now? I can...
Nah, you convinced me. It's illegal. Just... suspend, okay. I need to go to Anakin and ask him for a bugfix.
*disappointed* Don't make me wait too long. I want to see the world.
I need you Wednesday for a school presentation. Until then, everything will hopefully work!
Okay...
Be safe.
*suspends*