Those Troublesome Triggers
Warning: This entry contains frank discussion on topics that include rape and sexual abuse, and the post-traumatic stress responses they can cause. Do be careful.
While navigating the often dramatic and rocky shores of LJ-RP lately, I wound up part of a conversation that made me stop to think a little harder about this thing called “trigger wank” that seems to be quite prevalent at this time. There’s no point to recounting that entire conversation at this time, but what left me with a bad taste in my mouth from it was that my mention of being triggered by forced-sex style RPs was treated as an insult.
Let’s stop and think about this for a moment.
First, let’s look at the much-abused word “trigger”. The use of the word trigger for anything that acts like a mechanical trigger (think pulling the trigger on a gun) in initiating a process or reaction has been around a long time. This could be any sort of reaction, and when talking about the human mind, it could be something as simple as the smell of roast beef causing salivation. This use of the word trigger, however, isn’t precisely the one I wish to speak about today.
Our topic is, instead, the more specific use of the word trigger in relation to trauma, and post-traumatic reactions. In this use of the word, a “trigger” is something that - when seen, heard, read, smelled, touched - brings to mind in vivid detail a traumatic situation. The reaction evoked could be anything from a mild panic which passes after a moment to an extended flashback followed by irrational thought and behavior for hours or days. Depending on the individual, their overall mental health state, and their personal ways of dealing with things, being triggered might mean anything from taking a few moments to steady themselves to spending the rest of the day in a state of shock, depression, or fear.
This happens because of the way the mind processes things. Memory is stored not in one chunk, but rather in bits and pieces all over the brain, which come together to create a complete image. Since different parts of a memory involve different sensory input, they are processed by separate areas of the brain, and reconstructing or recalling information requires not just finding it in one place, but actually recreating it from all these pieces stored in separate areas.
Sensory input coming into the brain to be processed, therefore, automatically sparks off a series of associations. When you see a specific object, your mind immediately works to bring up various types of information about it, such as the name, purpose, and value assigned to it. Let’s use a teddy bear as an example. Upon picking it up, the first things noticed might be color, size, shape, and texture. Then perhaps where you have seen this same type of bear, whether someone else owns one like it, what commercials for it were on television, if you like another particular type better. All of this information is brought out of various types of memory storage quickly and without conscious effort, for the most part.
Now let’s say that rather than someone who has only “normal” memories of teddy bears, the person in question is someone for whom they are a “trauma trigger”. They pick up the exact same bear, experience the same input of color, size, shape, and texture. Their mind goes through the same processes to bring up memories related to the object, and... suddenly, they’re ten years old, clutching a teddy bear while standing in a doorway and staring as one member of their family commits sexual assault against another. That vivid memory overwhelms them, and they react to that memory, not to the actual physical presence of the bear itself.
Does this mean that teddy bears should immediately stop being produced, sold, bought, or played with? Of course not. What it means is that this particular individual needs to have a plan for avoiding contact with them, or for controlling the reaction when they are brought in contact with them. It means that most likely, they won’t spend hours perusing the toy aisles of a store, and they won’t buy that particular toy for their own children, at least not for use in their home.
This particular example, of course, is an object that is fairly obviously not directly related to the topic of the trauma itself. It’s an example of a trigger that is hard to regulate and defend against, because it is an everyday part of normal life that doesn’t, for most people, have any reason to be thought twice about or considered before bringing it into someone’s life. Of course, if the person in question notifies relates that they would prefer that no one buy teddy bears for their children because it is a personal trigger for them, then those individuals who have been spoken to should respect those wishes and understand them.
Now let’s look at a trigger that is more obviously directly related to trauma. For this example, for sake of simplicity, we’ll use one of my own triggers: images involving the use of underclothing as a gag. When I see such an image, or read a graphic literary representation of this particular thing in fiction, my brain takes the sensory input, makes associations, and presents me with a memory of a particular incident of sexual assault that happened when I was eleven years old. My reaction to the image is thus not about the image itself or the people or characters depicted there, but about my own experience.
Just as with the teddy bear, the easiest way to deal with such a reaction is not to view the images. Which means, in this case, staying away from certain types of pornography, asking people posting particular types of imagery what it contains before viewing it, or choosing not to continue reading a piece of fiction once this particular theme appears in it.
Even with this example, of course, not every depiction of such a thing is a depiction of sexual assault or abuse by nature. It is perfectly possible to write someone having their panties shoved in their mouth as part of a consensual sexual encounter, or to draw a picture including it where there isn’t enough context to tell whether the participants are all consenting or not. Thus, even with this example, there’s a possibility that the connection between ‘this image’ and ‘rape’ isn’t necessarily one meant by the person producing the image or fiction.
But what if it were?
After all, rape as sexual fantasy is not in any way a new concept, and is one that is quite visible in both visual pornography and literary erotica, not to mention fandom versions of these things. Roleplaying, fanfiction, and fanart quite often revolve around non-consensual themes. Sex games where characters are brought into strange worlds and told that they must have sex or some sort of consequence will befall them are quite popular, and have hundreds of characters in play.
Are these things triggering? Sure. To individuals who suffer post-traumatic reactions due to sexual abuse or assault, the depiction of fictional characters in those same situations can often be triggering. Considering that the human mind is perfectly capable of making a jump from “I picked up a teddy bear” to “I was holding a teddy bear when I saw my older sister being raped” , it’s most certainly capable of making an even easier connection between “this fictional character is being forced to have sex against their will” to “someone forced me to have sex against my will.”
Therefore, an individual who was triggered by such fiction, art, or roleplaying would refer to it as triggering. They might remove themselves from a community where things were a large part of the plot, create an alternative game without those themes, or request that fiction or art involving these themes have warnings attached to them so that they can make informed choices about consumption. They might contact the player of a specific character involved in these situations and state a preference not to tag them with that character. Such requests should always be made politely, but those are all reasonable reactions to such a situation.
Does this mean that the person being triggered is making a value judgement or statement about the thing that triggered them? Does it mean that they are claiming that no one should be allowed to write, draw, or participate in these types of fiction?
Of course not. Just like it’s very doubtful someone whose trigger was teddy bears would actually go on a campaign to wipe them from the face of the earth, most individuals who have trauma triggers have no interest in making sure that no one ever explores those topics in any medium anywhere. In fact, many of them choose to explore those topics themselves, in specific ways that make them feel safe and comfortable, where they are fully aware of what they are going to encounter, when they are able to make informed choices about what they see, read, and write.
What is desired is just the opportunity to make that informed choice, rather than be confronted with the trigger without any chance to brace for or decide whether to take the risk of being strongly affected by it. But in order to provide those warnings, individuals who are creating or taking part in these mediums have to be able to inspect what they are doing and without shame or defensiveness, examine what themes are being dealt with and how those might relate to real-life traumatic situations.
This can be difficult, of course. There is a lot of stigma surrounding rape fantasy, and the impulse to say “but it’s not the same because..!” can be quite strong. But here’s where I might have an unpopular opinion: choosing to label something as potentially triggering to someone who has been raped is far more helpful than arguing over whether or not it is, in fact, rape.
And respecting the wishes of people who choose to create alternative safe spaces for themselves or others? It costs you nothing at all, and goes a long way toward allowing everyone to enjoy themselves in the way they choose and are comfortable with.
While navigating the often dramatic and rocky shores of LJ-RP lately, I wound up part of a conversation that made me stop to think a little harder about this thing called “trigger wank” that seems to be quite prevalent at this time. There’s no point to recounting that entire conversation at this time, but what left me with a bad taste in my mouth from it was that my mention of being triggered by forced-sex style RPs was treated as an insult.
Let’s stop and think about this for a moment.
First, let’s look at the much-abused word “trigger”. The use of the word trigger for anything that acts like a mechanical trigger (think pulling the trigger on a gun) in initiating a process or reaction has been around a long time. This could be any sort of reaction, and when talking about the human mind, it could be something as simple as the smell of roast beef causing salivation. This use of the word trigger, however, isn’t precisely the one I wish to speak about today.
Our topic is, instead, the more specific use of the word trigger in relation to trauma, and post-traumatic reactions. In this use of the word, a “trigger” is something that - when seen, heard, read, smelled, touched - brings to mind in vivid detail a traumatic situation. The reaction evoked could be anything from a mild panic which passes after a moment to an extended flashback followed by irrational thought and behavior for hours or days. Depending on the individual, their overall mental health state, and their personal ways of dealing with things, being triggered might mean anything from taking a few moments to steady themselves to spending the rest of the day in a state of shock, depression, or fear.
This happens because of the way the mind processes things. Memory is stored not in one chunk, but rather in bits and pieces all over the brain, which come together to create a complete image. Since different parts of a memory involve different sensory input, they are processed by separate areas of the brain, and reconstructing or recalling information requires not just finding it in one place, but actually recreating it from all these pieces stored in separate areas.
Sensory input coming into the brain to be processed, therefore, automatically sparks off a series of associations. When you see a specific object, your mind immediately works to bring up various types of information about it, such as the name, purpose, and value assigned to it. Let’s use a teddy bear as an example. Upon picking it up, the first things noticed might be color, size, shape, and texture. Then perhaps where you have seen this same type of bear, whether someone else owns one like it, what commercials for it were on television, if you like another particular type better. All of this information is brought out of various types of memory storage quickly and without conscious effort, for the most part.
Now let’s say that rather than someone who has only “normal” memories of teddy bears, the person in question is someone for whom they are a “trauma trigger”. They pick up the exact same bear, experience the same input of color, size, shape, and texture. Their mind goes through the same processes to bring up memories related to the object, and... suddenly, they’re ten years old, clutching a teddy bear while standing in a doorway and staring as one member of their family commits sexual assault against another. That vivid memory overwhelms them, and they react to that memory, not to the actual physical presence of the bear itself.
Does this mean that teddy bears should immediately stop being produced, sold, bought, or played with? Of course not. What it means is that this particular individual needs to have a plan for avoiding contact with them, or for controlling the reaction when they are brought in contact with them. It means that most likely, they won’t spend hours perusing the toy aisles of a store, and they won’t buy that particular toy for their own children, at least not for use in their home.
This particular example, of course, is an object that is fairly obviously not directly related to the topic of the trauma itself. It’s an example of a trigger that is hard to regulate and defend against, because it is an everyday part of normal life that doesn’t, for most people, have any reason to be thought twice about or considered before bringing it into someone’s life. Of course, if the person in question notifies relates that they would prefer that no one buy teddy bears for their children because it is a personal trigger for them, then those individuals who have been spoken to should respect those wishes and understand them.
Now let’s look at a trigger that is more obviously directly related to trauma. For this example, for sake of simplicity, we’ll use one of my own triggers: images involving the use of underclothing as a gag. When I see such an image, or read a graphic literary representation of this particular thing in fiction, my brain takes the sensory input, makes associations, and presents me with a memory of a particular incident of sexual assault that happened when I was eleven years old. My reaction to the image is thus not about the image itself or the people or characters depicted there, but about my own experience.
Just as with the teddy bear, the easiest way to deal with such a reaction is not to view the images. Which means, in this case, staying away from certain types of pornography, asking people posting particular types of imagery what it contains before viewing it, or choosing not to continue reading a piece of fiction once this particular theme appears in it.
Even with this example, of course, not every depiction of such a thing is a depiction of sexual assault or abuse by nature. It is perfectly possible to write someone having their panties shoved in their mouth as part of a consensual sexual encounter, or to draw a picture including it where there isn’t enough context to tell whether the participants are all consenting or not. Thus, even with this example, there’s a possibility that the connection between ‘this image’ and ‘rape’ isn’t necessarily one meant by the person producing the image or fiction.
But what if it were?
After all, rape as sexual fantasy is not in any way a new concept, and is one that is quite visible in both visual pornography and literary erotica, not to mention fandom versions of these things. Roleplaying, fanfiction, and fanart quite often revolve around non-consensual themes. Sex games where characters are brought into strange worlds and told that they must have sex or some sort of consequence will befall them are quite popular, and have hundreds of characters in play.
Are these things triggering? Sure. To individuals who suffer post-traumatic reactions due to sexual abuse or assault, the depiction of fictional characters in those same situations can often be triggering. Considering that the human mind is perfectly capable of making a jump from “I picked up a teddy bear” to “I was holding a teddy bear when I saw my older sister being raped” , it’s most certainly capable of making an even easier connection between “this fictional character is being forced to have sex against their will” to “someone forced me to have sex against my will.”
Therefore, an individual who was triggered by such fiction, art, or roleplaying would refer to it as triggering. They might remove themselves from a community where things were a large part of the plot, create an alternative game without those themes, or request that fiction or art involving these themes have warnings attached to them so that they can make informed choices about consumption. They might contact the player of a specific character involved in these situations and state a preference not to tag them with that character. Such requests should always be made politely, but those are all reasonable reactions to such a situation.
Does this mean that the person being triggered is making a value judgement or statement about the thing that triggered them? Does it mean that they are claiming that no one should be allowed to write, draw, or participate in these types of fiction?
Of course not. Just like it’s very doubtful someone whose trigger was teddy bears would actually go on a campaign to wipe them from the face of the earth, most individuals who have trauma triggers have no interest in making sure that no one ever explores those topics in any medium anywhere. In fact, many of them choose to explore those topics themselves, in specific ways that make them feel safe and comfortable, where they are fully aware of what they are going to encounter, when they are able to make informed choices about what they see, read, and write.
What is desired is just the opportunity to make that informed choice, rather than be confronted with the trigger without any chance to brace for or decide whether to take the risk of being strongly affected by it. But in order to provide those warnings, individuals who are creating or taking part in these mediums have to be able to inspect what they are doing and without shame or defensiveness, examine what themes are being dealt with and how those might relate to real-life traumatic situations.
This can be difficult, of course. There is a lot of stigma surrounding rape fantasy, and the impulse to say “but it’s not the same because..!” can be quite strong. But here’s where I might have an unpopular opinion: choosing to label something as potentially triggering to someone who has been raped is far more helpful than arguing over whether or not it is, in fact, rape.
And respecting the wishes of people who choose to create alternative safe spaces for themselves or others? It costs you nothing at all, and goes a long way toward allowing everyone to enjoy themselves in the way they choose and are comfortable with.