Jan 29, 2008 03:23
I honestly don't know. Truth is, she found me. She'd seen me coming and knew we were meant to be. There is nobody out there like Alice. She's fiery and sweet. She's smart and funny. There is just something about her that drives me a little crazy.
I'd lost my thrill for the kill some time before I saw her. But she's the real reason I try so hard not to go off the family diet plan. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, all of them, but Alice believes in me. She believes I have the ability and strength necessary to overcome our basic instincts and needs.
Maybe that is what I look for more than anything; someone who believes in me. When you have a woman like Alice supporting you there is no way you can possibly fail. I still feel guilty over what happened at Bella's birthday. If I hadn't lost control then Edward wouldn't have taken off the way he did. Alice wouldn't let me wallow in it though. She says what counts is that I didn't kill Bella. I guess she's right. There's hope for me left. My hope is Alice.