(no subject)
He doesn't put any value on human lives, but he still can't escape from the fact that he is human and with being human comes humanity. Humanity is something he sometimes appreciates because it stops him from lifting a hand to Michael and keeps him knowing when 'Nyet!' really means no! and not pleasemore! But mostly, humanity is a throbbing itch at the base of Leech's skull that won't be scratched, something that keeps him up at night staring into the depths of his ceiling and recounting every scream he's heard, every plea for life that he's consequently ignored, every lastdyinggasp that inevitably makes him wonder how he got this way with no one to blame in the end but himself. It turns his stomach during those brief moments of conscience clarity; it makes him seize up with fear at the sight of a black robe and white collar; it makes him rethink every minute decision for twenty minutes even if he seems reliably impulsive and irrational to anyone who cares for him. "Think for a second, Leech," they'll say. And "You have no sense of self-preservation."
And that's true enough. He has no sense of self-preservation, he puts less value on his life than those he takes week-by-week. But he has a sense of preservation for something, knows that some human lives are worth protection and redemption and that he must still be here to make sure those lives are looked after. Sometimes, not as often as he'd like, but sometimes that's enough to quiet the screams and make the ceiling disappear.
And also.
Fandom: GnR/OC
Pairing: Axl Rose/Leech
Challenge: fifty "Once Upon A Time"
Once upon a time there was a cynical little boy, with no real reason to be cynical, who cared for nothing but music and drugs. Nothing could touch him, no one could make him stop and rethink his impulsive actions. Nothing would keep him up all night questioning, hoping. The boy lived for himself alone, once upon a time, and he had no reason to curl his tiny frame into the smallest space in the bathroom he could find, clutching deep gouges into his biceps and screaming until he was hoarse.
But that was before Axl left. Now, it’s just another wishful fairytale.