i got back from my week long hiatus on wednesday. i'm tan, and i finished a book, reading not writing. christmas in a tactile culture reminded me of how much i hate forced holiday sentimentality. there was hugging and kissing and i was naseauted ( Read more... )

so i'm finally done working for the week...16 hour days as a stop gap measure to poverty suck. there is still an elephant in the room whenever i talk to my father and usually it's green and covered in dollar signs which i have to say is almost better then the pink elephant that used to hang around although i'm not sure if the pink elephant isin't ( Read more... )

i don't know if i live too much of my life in the past. i am unsure if my sense of inner calm is avoidance or genuine stillness ( Read more... )

went home wed, had dinner with dad, went out to the strip of bars close to the house and saw a bunch of people who were home for break. drank. lets say that this was the least meaningful wednesday before thanksgiving since i started doing this bar thing ( Read more... )

so i've been absent more thern usual from this page due mostly to the fact that my house internet has been on the fritz for the last few weeks ( Read more... )

so that i can borrow the strength to cry.

when i first read Jewett's "The Country of the Pointed Firs" i took solace in the following passage ( Read more... )

well it's bittterly cold, i'm hung over and i'm going to watch my brother run the marathon tomorrow. let us say it has not been the best week and i'm done taking care of people who can't take care of themselves. i hope everyone is well. godbless and goodnight.

the glee club had retreat today. we sang for an hour and then we went paintballing. my adrenaline was pumping i was hunting the club and everyonce in a while i'd get taged in the chest. i shut down. my only thought's were about how to take out as many enemies as possible. there was no outside life, no pain while i was in those 15 min rounds.

My grandmother and an aunt and uncle came in from Mexico on Wednesday, it’s been 20 months since I’ve seen them and let us say that I had nothing to really talk to them about. It was a strange evening from start to finish. I got back to g.p. and there they were sitting on the porch with my father as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I ( Read more... )