Hand in Hand (2/2)
Kyungsoo hopes Hyunsik isn’t around to ask him loads of questions about his little adventure the night before, but alas, he’s simply not lucky enough.
“So what have you been up to?” Hyunsik asks him while he hurriedly makes his way to his room in an attempt to escape.
“Nothing much,” he replies, not daring to look at Hyunsik in the eyes. “Just had a few drinks, that’s all.” As he's about to enter his room, Hyunsik blocks his way.
“And I’m pretty sure you didn’t camp out at the bar.” Hyunsik wiggles his eyebrows and Kyungsoo just face palms. “So where have you been?”
“Look, I have a really bad hangover so can we just talk about this some other time? Please?” He pleads. He puts on his most sympathy-inducing pout, hoping it’ll work. Again, Kyungsoo simply isn’t lucky enough so Hyunsik just eggs him on.
“Who was it? A rich businessman? Or the boy-next-door type? Tell me, Soo!” He jumps on the balls of his feet, like a five-year-old child about to be given candy for being a good boy.
Kyungsoo sighs, massages his temples, and leans on the door frame of his room. “I’m only saying this once and we’re not talking about it ever again. Promise?”
Hyunsik just nods frantically, to which Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I promise! Just tell me!”
“I had a one-night stand with a really gorgeous girl. Someone from high school. And nope, I’m not telling you who she is. Now leave me alone.” With that, he slams his door shut in Hyunsik’s face. He throws himself face down on his bed, willing the sheets to just eat him up alive because little by little, last night’s events are replaying in his head-the want and the need for him to be touched and touch and feel wanted, since he hasn’t felt that for so long a time. As he closes his eyes, he feels the burning sensations caused by Soojung’s soft touches, like he’s being touched all over again.
Jongin shows up at the bar in the middle of the week. Kyungsoo has been keen on ignoring his calls and text messages. He even warned him not to go to Hyunsik’s place. However, he seemed to have forgotten to tell him not to bother him at his workplace. He mentally slaps himself for not being very specific with Jongin.
“Hyunsik told me you let go of your two other part-time jobs because you have cooking classes in the morning.”
They’re in the storage room at the moment because Kyungsoo’s positive it’s the only place in the bar that doesn’t have couples making out and doing other things anyone won’t want to walk in to.
“I was worried… if you were making enough for yourself, if you were eating properly, getting enough rest...” Jongin sighs, making Kyungsoo take a whiff of his breath. No scent of alcohol. He’s a bit delighted at the thought but shows no sign of it.
“I’m doing just fine, Jongin. You don’t have to worry about me.” Kyungsoo looks up at him and he’s met with sad eyes, really sad eyes that can suck all your happiness.
Jongin looks away. “Well, that’s… really good to hear then.” He awkwardly scratches his nape.
“Jongin.” Kyungsoo cups his face in his hands, and he feels Jongin stiffen at his touch. He sighs. “You should stop worrying about me.” He then traces the bags under Jongin’s eyes. “Look at you. You look so tired and depressed. Take a day or two off from work. Go on a vacation.”
“Soo, please,” Jongin pleads, taking Kyungsoo’s hand in his, tears brimming on the corner of his eyes. “The last time I went on a vacation without you, I ended up doing things that I’m now regretting and will probably regret for the rest of my life. I don’t want that to happen again.” I don’t want to hurt you again, Jongin thinks to himself, the words unspoken.
Kyungsoo chuckles as he wipes Jongin’s eyes. He plants a kiss on each eyelid. “You’re so silly.”
Then he’s being engulfed into a rib-crushing embrace. “I just miss you so fucking bad it’s like I’m being suffocated every time I lie on our bed and you’re not there. And it’s just, so, so cold… the emptiness sends shivers all over my body.”
The elder of the two sighs, patting Jongin on the back like how he used to comfort him when he’s depressed as shit. “You should stop seeing me. We need space.” That’s all he says, giving Jongin’s hand a squeeze before leaving him in the storage room.
Kyungsoo hasn’t heard from Jongin for two weeks straight. Baekhyun only updates him from time to time, to make sure Jongin isn’t doing anything stupid, that is, trying to overdose on sleeping pills, or anything life threatening for that matter. He sits at the bar again, after a long night of singing and waiting on tables. He thinks he deserves a drink for all the hard work for the past week. It’s 2:45 a.m. and there aren’t a lot of customers left. They consist of mostly couples either making out or grinding on each other on the dance floor, and Kyungsoo has no interest in their affairs so he prefers to sit by the bar and let the bartender mix a few drinks for him. He fishes his phone out of his jeans and rereads the message he received just a few minutes before call time.
From: Jung Soojung
10:57 p.m.
**
Kyungsoo oppa!
I’m gonna drop by at the bar later.
See you!
**
If Kyungsoo were to be honest, he’s been looking forward to meeting Soojung again. She has been sending him random messages, mostly rants about her ex-boyfriend and her best friend. Sometimes she sends him random photos of her whereabouts. Kyungsoo doesn’t really reply, but he enjoys seeing Soojung’s messages.
His phone lights up and buzzes.
From: Jung Soojung
2:51 a.m.
**
I’m at the back entrance~
**
He hastily types a reply, suddenly feeling a wee bit too excited at the thought of seeing Soojung.
To: Jung Soojung
2:52 a.m.
**
I’ll be right there in a sec.
Wait for me.
**
Kyungsoo’s being attacked with fiery kisses as soon as he steps out of the back entrance. Soojung is literally all over him, touching him everywhere and planting burning kisses on his face and neck.
“Soojung, calm down.” He tries to stop her but he’s only being backed up against the wall as Soojung attacks him with her plump lips. The next thing he knows, she’s bucking her hips against his and she lets out a moan while fumbling with his belt. “N-not here!” He hisses, looking around for anyone that might walk in on them. Soojung momentarily stops and Kyungsoo takes this chance to grab her arm and drag her inside, to the spare room in the basement. He makes sure to lock the door before he’s hurriedly taking his jacket off, Soojung getting rid of her heels and stockings before shedding all her remaining clothing. Kyungsoo gapes and stops in the middle of undressing because he’s not even that drunk but something about Soojung stripping naked in front of him just makes him want her so bad. It’s like he’s been bewitched by some spell.
It happens so fast, both of them so needy and more rushed than before. Soojung collapses on top of Kyungsoo on the dusty couch, Kyungsoo holding her close. The room is silent apart from their heavy breathing and panting.
“I’m taking you home,” Kyungsoo says, breaking the silence. Soojung just nods and they get dressed, then they’re in Kyungsoo’s car, on the way to Soojung’s apartment, as if nothing had just happened.
On the way, Soojung just stares out the window while Kyungsoo concentrates on driving. It’s when they arrive at Soojung’s doorstep, Kyungsoo about to say goodbye, that Soojung finds her voice.
“I saw them,” she begins, looking down at her feet. “Taemin and Jinri. They were making out, and there’s nothing new about that. But I saw something on Jinri’s hand.” She pauses, wondering if she should continue.
“They’re getting married?” Kyungsoo guesses, and once the words leave his lips, he regrets having said them because Soojung nods and there are tears in her eyes. She looks so hurt and helpless, and she falls right into Kyungsoo’s arms, sobbing hysterically. He does nothing but hug her, and when she’s calmed down a bit, they let themselves in. Kyungsoo makes Soojung sit on the couch while he fetches her a glass of water. He looks for lemon in the refrigerator and puts a small slice in the glass. When he returns to the living room, Soojung is fast asleep. He carries her to her room instead, and when he’s about to leave, his hand is being grabbed by a half-asleep Soojung.
“Stay with me, please?” Her eyes are half lidded with sleep and her voice so soft, her frame so fragile that Kyungsoo couldn’t say no. In the back of Kyungsoo’s mind, he knows; they’re both starting to get too attached to each other, and it’s out of their deal. But that’s not what’s important right now, Kyungsoo convinces himself. They fall asleep lying beside each other, Kyungsoo’s hand in Soojung’s.
He certainly isn’t expecting to wake up to Soojung sitting on top of him, nibbling on his ear, jaw, neck, and collarbones. “Soojung, it’s t-too early for t-this,” he all but groans, said girl kissing a sensitive spot on Kyungsoo’s ear. He lamely tries to push her off him, only to make her giggle and pin his arms down on the bed. He looks up at her and sees the hurt in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Soojung whispers, releasing her tight grip on Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “You can go…” She gets off him and heads straight to the bathroom without looking back.
A whole month passes by, and Kyungsoo has gotten used to not receiving messages from Soojung. In fact, he has even started going out with Jongin again. They’d gone on dates thrice after that messy night with Soojung. Jongin, of course, doesn’t know about it. Kyungsoo thinks he doesn’t need to know. After all, it’s just a no-strings-attached thing; it’s always just one night, and it’s over once they’ve gotten what they want from each other.
Jongin has taken another step towards mending their broken relationship. He has invited Kyungsoo to stay at his place over the weekend. It’s awkward, to say the least, since Kyungsoo had spent so much time in Jongin’s apartment before but now it feels so strange to be back. He’s preparing nachos and popcorn for their movie night, while Jongin sits by the kitchen table, watching Kyungsoo do his stuff. Kyungsoo hums in contentment, knowing Jongin’s just there observing his every move.
Of all movies to watch, Jongin just had to choose Friends with Benefits. Kyungsoo mentally head desks because he knows Jongin is aware that the movie is not merely about friendship but also sex, sex, and more sex. And that’s why he can’t help but squirm in his seat as said scenes play on the screen. Jongin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind, but it’s suddenly too hot he starts fanning his face and taking deep breaths every now and then. Halfway through the movie, Kyungsoo excuses himself because he just can’t stand being in the same room with Jongin when he feels so hot and bothered and his pants feel a bit too tight than usual. His skin is flush and there’s sweat trickling down his neck. He splashes water in his face and looks at his reflection in the mirror, shaking his head at himself. He closes his eyes for a bit, then there are suddenly hands wrapped around his waist and uneven breath fanning his neck. Kyungsoo shudders a bit and his heart drops to his stomach.
“Kyungsoo…” Jongin whispers in his ear, and he starts to plant kisses from the top of his head, down his nape and shoulders, his hands running up and down Kyungsoo’s torso, pulling him impossibly closer.
And Kyungsoo lets Jongin do what he wants. He can’t deny he terribly missed this, Jongin just touching him and giving precious attention to every nook of his body. Things escalate and they find themselves in a hurry to remove all their clothes, movie long forgotten. Jongin all but gently throws him on the bed, his eyes full of want and longing. The feeling is mutual, as Kyungsoo really missed Jongin so bad all he wants is to be claimed, to be his and his only, again.
No words are exchanged, just touches that are etched bone deep. Words aren’t needed anyway. The way skin meets skin, there’s just an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation and reconciliation. Jongin and Kyungsoo both know how much love they feel for the other, and that’s enough for them. It’s all that matters for now.
Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the quiet “I love you so much, Soo” Jongin says before collapsing beside him and holding him close to his heart. He only says “I love you too, Jongin” when he hears Jongin’s steady breathing, a sign that he’s fast asleep.
Jongin wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. He smiles, feeling so happy that Kyungsoo didn’t leave. He stayed, and he’s even cooking him breakfast, just like how he used to when they were still together. He puts his boxers and tank top on before heading out to the kitchen. He grins at the sight of Kyungsoo wearing one of his favorite loose shirts, just that and his own boxers, like old times.
“Good morning!” He happily chirps, giving Kyungsoo a back hug and making him turn to give him a proper kiss on the lips. Kyungsoo kisses back once, twice, and even thrice, and that only brightens Jongin’s mood even more.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kyungsoo greets him cheerfully. “Looks like you’re in a really good mood today~”
Jongin nods as he settles on his seat by the kitchen table, watching Kyungsoo yet again. “Absolutely!” There’s a slight pang of pain in his chest, realizing that this is all probably too good to be true. “But it feels like I’m just dreaming…”
Kyungsoo walks over and puts the plate of pancakes on the table. He sighs as he sits in front of Jongin. “You’re not dreaming. I’m right here in front of you.” He holds Jongin’s hand and squeezes it tightly. The latter gives him a small smile, and they sit in silence as they eat their breakfast.
Jongin chooses to break the silence with a barely audible, “Are we okay?”
Kyungsoo isn’t the least bit surprised, because he knows Jongin’s bound to ask him that sooner or later. “I don’t know. Are we?” He throws the question back, their gazes meeting. Jongin looks hurt, as if expecting Kyungsoo to answer, and Kyungsoo somehow feels bad for merely throwing the question back at him.
“I… I’m really sorry I fucked up,” Jongin says earnestly, not breaking eye contact. “I’m trying to make it up to you, because, Soo, I really can’t stand not being with you. These past few months have been hell, believe me. I always miss your voice, the way you scold me when I forget to drink my vitamins, when I skip my meals…” He starts to break down in quiet sobs and Kyungsoo rushes to his side, hugging him tight in an attempt to calm him down.
“Shh, it’s okay, Jongin. I’m here now.” He plants kisses on Jongin’s face, not missing a spot, not even one.. When the latter stops sobbing, Kyungsoo decides it’s time to tell him everything. “Listen, Jongin… There’s something I have to tell you.”
Then he proceeds to talk about Soojung, how they met at the bar by accident, how things always seem to end up with them just being all over each other, all needy and merely lusting after the other. He sees the hurt in Jongin’s eyes, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing because Jongin deserves to know.
“And you’re telling me all of this now because?” Jongin asks, voice sounding so broken.
“Because I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I don’t want you to lose your trust in me like how I lost my trust in you.” Kyungsoo sighs, and situates himself on Jongin’s lap. He holds his face close to his, their noses almost touching. “I think, I’m ready to start over.”
And then he’s being attacked with kisses here and there, and he shrieks when Jongin carries him bridal style to their room. He won’t have this any other way.
In the middle of packing his things, as he’s moving back in with Jongin, Kyungsoo remembers Soojung, wondering how she’s been for the past month and a half. He calls her, but he’s directed to voice mail, so he sends her a text message instead.
To: Jung Soojung
9:58 a.m.
**
Hey, Soojung.
I need to talk to you.
Can we meet tonight?
I’ll go to your place at 7.
**
He’s placing the last batch of his belongings in Jongin’s car when his phone buzzes.
From: Jung Soojung
11:05 a.m.
**
Hi, Kyungsoo oppa.
Sure, I’ll be waiting~
See you ^^
**
“I’m going to Soojung’s place later,” Kyungsoo informs Jongin while on their way to Jongin’s apartment.
Jongin hums and takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his, kissing the back of his hand. “Okay. I’ll drop you off.”
Soojung paces nervously in her living room. What does he want to talk to me about? Could it be… they’re together again? Just as Soojung’s drowning in her thoughts, there’s a soft knock on her door. She takes deep breaths before unlocking it and letting Kyungsoo in. They awkwardly sit a foot apart from each other on the couch. Kyungsoo notices Soojung’s been playing with her hands, so he reaches for them and holds them in his.
“Soojung,” he begins, making Soojung look at him, albeit with teary eyes. It seems she already knows why they’re in her living room right now, about to start a conversation that’s going to be a huge blow to her. Nonetheless, he continues, “I’m moving back in with Jongin.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding.
“I kind of figured,” Soojungs says, smiling despite the tears in her eyes. She gently places her hands on the sides of Kyungsoo’s face. “I’m really happy for you, oppa.”
Kyungsoo’s heart clenches a bit, having been used to Soojung calling him oppa. He reaches out for Soojung’s face and wipes her tears. “I’m sorry, Soojung. I’m really, terribly sorry…”
“No,” Soojung shakes her head, suddenly pulling Kyungsoo towards her and hugging him tightly. “You don’t have to say sorry. You don’t owe me an apology. You deserve to be happy.”
Kyungsoo hugs her back. “But you do, too. We both do, Soojung.”
They promise to remain good friends and keep in touch, because they both know friendship is the only permanent thing they can offer. While that fact hurts both of them, since they’ve both been attached not just physically but emotionally as well, they’re very much aware that they can’t just keep running towards each other, wanting to be touched and held, whenever they feel like it. They just can’t keep doing that to themselves. They both need love and not just a body to warm them up and sate their inner desires.
One year later…
Kyungsoo impatiently types on his phone. “Where the hell are you?! We’re gonna miss our flight!!!” He’s been waiting for Jongin for the past hour. It is, after all, his idea that they go on a trip and have their official honeymoon. They’re not married, of course not, but they both wanted to celebrate their official togetherness so Jongin plans out a Jeju Island vacation for them. Said guy, however, chooses today of all days to be late.
Strong arms hold him by the waist and Kyungsoo turns to give Jongin a peck on the lips. “You’re late, young man.” He shakes his head for emphasis, before he’s being pulled into a breathtaking kiss. He blinks when Jongin lets go of him and carries their stuff.
“I know and I’m sorry,” he says, starting to walk, dragging Kyungsoo with him. “I had to attend to something at work. Now, let’s go!”
Kyungsoo watches Jongin in amusement as they board the plane. Before reaching the end of the gate, however, just a few feet away from the entrance, Kyungsoo pulls Jongin back and kisses him languidly, taking his sweet time. He then whispers, a bit excitedly, “I love you so much,” to which Jongin smiles before pecking Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips. “I know. I love you too,” he whispers back. They walk hand in hand, towards their new beginning.
“So what have you been up to?” Hyunsik asks him while he hurriedly makes his way to his room in an attempt to escape.
“Nothing much,” he replies, not daring to look at Hyunsik in the eyes. “Just had a few drinks, that’s all.” As he's about to enter his room, Hyunsik blocks his way.
“And I’m pretty sure you didn’t camp out at the bar.” Hyunsik wiggles his eyebrows and Kyungsoo just face palms. “So where have you been?”
“Look, I have a really bad hangover so can we just talk about this some other time? Please?” He pleads. He puts on his most sympathy-inducing pout, hoping it’ll work. Again, Kyungsoo simply isn’t lucky enough so Hyunsik just eggs him on.
“Who was it? A rich businessman? Or the boy-next-door type? Tell me, Soo!” He jumps on the balls of his feet, like a five-year-old child about to be given candy for being a good boy.
Kyungsoo sighs, massages his temples, and leans on the door frame of his room. “I’m only saying this once and we’re not talking about it ever again. Promise?”
Hyunsik just nods frantically, to which Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I promise! Just tell me!”
“I had a one-night stand with a really gorgeous girl. Someone from high school. And nope, I’m not telling you who she is. Now leave me alone.” With that, he slams his door shut in Hyunsik’s face. He throws himself face down on his bed, willing the sheets to just eat him up alive because little by little, last night’s events are replaying in his head-the want and the need for him to be touched and touch and feel wanted, since he hasn’t felt that for so long a time. As he closes his eyes, he feels the burning sensations caused by Soojung’s soft touches, like he’s being touched all over again.
Jongin shows up at the bar in the middle of the week. Kyungsoo has been keen on ignoring his calls and text messages. He even warned him not to go to Hyunsik’s place. However, he seemed to have forgotten to tell him not to bother him at his workplace. He mentally slaps himself for not being very specific with Jongin.
“Hyunsik told me you let go of your two other part-time jobs because you have cooking classes in the morning.”
They’re in the storage room at the moment because Kyungsoo’s positive it’s the only place in the bar that doesn’t have couples making out and doing other things anyone won’t want to walk in to.
“I was worried… if you were making enough for yourself, if you were eating properly, getting enough rest...” Jongin sighs, making Kyungsoo take a whiff of his breath. No scent of alcohol. He’s a bit delighted at the thought but shows no sign of it.
“I’m doing just fine, Jongin. You don’t have to worry about me.” Kyungsoo looks up at him and he’s met with sad eyes, really sad eyes that can suck all your happiness.
Jongin looks away. “Well, that’s… really good to hear then.” He awkwardly scratches his nape.
“Jongin.” Kyungsoo cups his face in his hands, and he feels Jongin stiffen at his touch. He sighs. “You should stop worrying about me.” He then traces the bags under Jongin’s eyes. “Look at you. You look so tired and depressed. Take a day or two off from work. Go on a vacation.”
“Soo, please,” Jongin pleads, taking Kyungsoo’s hand in his, tears brimming on the corner of his eyes. “The last time I went on a vacation without you, I ended up doing things that I’m now regretting and will probably regret for the rest of my life. I don’t want that to happen again.” I don’t want to hurt you again, Jongin thinks to himself, the words unspoken.
Kyungsoo chuckles as he wipes Jongin’s eyes. He plants a kiss on each eyelid. “You’re so silly.”
Then he’s being engulfed into a rib-crushing embrace. “I just miss you so fucking bad it’s like I’m being suffocated every time I lie on our bed and you’re not there. And it’s just, so, so cold… the emptiness sends shivers all over my body.”
The elder of the two sighs, patting Jongin on the back like how he used to comfort him when he’s depressed as shit. “You should stop seeing me. We need space.” That’s all he says, giving Jongin’s hand a squeeze before leaving him in the storage room.
Kyungsoo hasn’t heard from Jongin for two weeks straight. Baekhyun only updates him from time to time, to make sure Jongin isn’t doing anything stupid, that is, trying to overdose on sleeping pills, or anything life threatening for that matter. He sits at the bar again, after a long night of singing and waiting on tables. He thinks he deserves a drink for all the hard work for the past week. It’s 2:45 a.m. and there aren’t a lot of customers left. They consist of mostly couples either making out or grinding on each other on the dance floor, and Kyungsoo has no interest in their affairs so he prefers to sit by the bar and let the bartender mix a few drinks for him. He fishes his phone out of his jeans and rereads the message he received just a few minutes before call time.
From: Jung Soojung
10:57 p.m.
**
Kyungsoo oppa!
I’m gonna drop by at the bar later.
See you!
**
If Kyungsoo were to be honest, he’s been looking forward to meeting Soojung again. She has been sending him random messages, mostly rants about her ex-boyfriend and her best friend. Sometimes she sends him random photos of her whereabouts. Kyungsoo doesn’t really reply, but he enjoys seeing Soojung’s messages.
His phone lights up and buzzes.
From: Jung Soojung
2:51 a.m.
**
I’m at the back entrance~
**
He hastily types a reply, suddenly feeling a wee bit too excited at the thought of seeing Soojung.
To: Jung Soojung
2:52 a.m.
**
I’ll be right there in a sec.
Wait for me.
**
Kyungsoo’s being attacked with fiery kisses as soon as he steps out of the back entrance. Soojung is literally all over him, touching him everywhere and planting burning kisses on his face and neck.
“Soojung, calm down.” He tries to stop her but he’s only being backed up against the wall as Soojung attacks him with her plump lips. The next thing he knows, she’s bucking her hips against his and she lets out a moan while fumbling with his belt. “N-not here!” He hisses, looking around for anyone that might walk in on them. Soojung momentarily stops and Kyungsoo takes this chance to grab her arm and drag her inside, to the spare room in the basement. He makes sure to lock the door before he’s hurriedly taking his jacket off, Soojung getting rid of her heels and stockings before shedding all her remaining clothing. Kyungsoo gapes and stops in the middle of undressing because he’s not even that drunk but something about Soojung stripping naked in front of him just makes him want her so bad. It’s like he’s been bewitched by some spell.
It happens so fast, both of them so needy and more rushed than before. Soojung collapses on top of Kyungsoo on the dusty couch, Kyungsoo holding her close. The room is silent apart from their heavy breathing and panting.
“I’m taking you home,” Kyungsoo says, breaking the silence. Soojung just nods and they get dressed, then they’re in Kyungsoo’s car, on the way to Soojung’s apartment, as if nothing had just happened.
On the way, Soojung just stares out the window while Kyungsoo concentrates on driving. It’s when they arrive at Soojung’s doorstep, Kyungsoo about to say goodbye, that Soojung finds her voice.
“I saw them,” she begins, looking down at her feet. “Taemin and Jinri. They were making out, and there’s nothing new about that. But I saw something on Jinri’s hand.” She pauses, wondering if she should continue.
“They’re getting married?” Kyungsoo guesses, and once the words leave his lips, he regrets having said them because Soojung nods and there are tears in her eyes. She looks so hurt and helpless, and she falls right into Kyungsoo’s arms, sobbing hysterically. He does nothing but hug her, and when she’s calmed down a bit, they let themselves in. Kyungsoo makes Soojung sit on the couch while he fetches her a glass of water. He looks for lemon in the refrigerator and puts a small slice in the glass. When he returns to the living room, Soojung is fast asleep. He carries her to her room instead, and when he’s about to leave, his hand is being grabbed by a half-asleep Soojung.
“Stay with me, please?” Her eyes are half lidded with sleep and her voice so soft, her frame so fragile that Kyungsoo couldn’t say no. In the back of Kyungsoo’s mind, he knows; they’re both starting to get too attached to each other, and it’s out of their deal. But that’s not what’s important right now, Kyungsoo convinces himself. They fall asleep lying beside each other, Kyungsoo’s hand in Soojung’s.
He certainly isn’t expecting to wake up to Soojung sitting on top of him, nibbling on his ear, jaw, neck, and collarbones. “Soojung, it’s t-too early for t-this,” he all but groans, said girl kissing a sensitive spot on Kyungsoo’s ear. He lamely tries to push her off him, only to make her giggle and pin his arms down on the bed. He looks up at her and sees the hurt in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Soojung whispers, releasing her tight grip on Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “You can go…” She gets off him and heads straight to the bathroom without looking back.
A whole month passes by, and Kyungsoo has gotten used to not receiving messages from Soojung. In fact, he has even started going out with Jongin again. They’d gone on dates thrice after that messy night with Soojung. Jongin, of course, doesn’t know about it. Kyungsoo thinks he doesn’t need to know. After all, it’s just a no-strings-attached thing; it’s always just one night, and it’s over once they’ve gotten what they want from each other.
Jongin has taken another step towards mending their broken relationship. He has invited Kyungsoo to stay at his place over the weekend. It’s awkward, to say the least, since Kyungsoo had spent so much time in Jongin’s apartment before but now it feels so strange to be back. He’s preparing nachos and popcorn for their movie night, while Jongin sits by the kitchen table, watching Kyungsoo do his stuff. Kyungsoo hums in contentment, knowing Jongin’s just there observing his every move.
Of all movies to watch, Jongin just had to choose Friends with Benefits. Kyungsoo mentally head desks because he knows Jongin is aware that the movie is not merely about friendship but also sex, sex, and more sex. And that’s why he can’t help but squirm in his seat as said scenes play on the screen. Jongin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind, but it’s suddenly too hot he starts fanning his face and taking deep breaths every now and then. Halfway through the movie, Kyungsoo excuses himself because he just can’t stand being in the same room with Jongin when he feels so hot and bothered and his pants feel a bit too tight than usual. His skin is flush and there’s sweat trickling down his neck. He splashes water in his face and looks at his reflection in the mirror, shaking his head at himself. He closes his eyes for a bit, then there are suddenly hands wrapped around his waist and uneven breath fanning his neck. Kyungsoo shudders a bit and his heart drops to his stomach.
“Kyungsoo…” Jongin whispers in his ear, and he starts to plant kisses from the top of his head, down his nape and shoulders, his hands running up and down Kyungsoo’s torso, pulling him impossibly closer.
And Kyungsoo lets Jongin do what he wants. He can’t deny he terribly missed this, Jongin just touching him and giving precious attention to every nook of his body. Things escalate and they find themselves in a hurry to remove all their clothes, movie long forgotten. Jongin all but gently throws him on the bed, his eyes full of want and longing. The feeling is mutual, as Kyungsoo really missed Jongin so bad all he wants is to be claimed, to be his and his only, again.
No words are exchanged, just touches that are etched bone deep. Words aren’t needed anyway. The way skin meets skin, there’s just an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation and reconciliation. Jongin and Kyungsoo both know how much love they feel for the other, and that’s enough for them. It’s all that matters for now.
Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the quiet “I love you so much, Soo” Jongin says before collapsing beside him and holding him close to his heart. He only says “I love you too, Jongin” when he hears Jongin’s steady breathing, a sign that he’s fast asleep.
Jongin wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. He smiles, feeling so happy that Kyungsoo didn’t leave. He stayed, and he’s even cooking him breakfast, just like how he used to when they were still together. He puts his boxers and tank top on before heading out to the kitchen. He grins at the sight of Kyungsoo wearing one of his favorite loose shirts, just that and his own boxers, like old times.
“Good morning!” He happily chirps, giving Kyungsoo a back hug and making him turn to give him a proper kiss on the lips. Kyungsoo kisses back once, twice, and even thrice, and that only brightens Jongin’s mood even more.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kyungsoo greets him cheerfully. “Looks like you’re in a really good mood today~”
Jongin nods as he settles on his seat by the kitchen table, watching Kyungsoo yet again. “Absolutely!” There’s a slight pang of pain in his chest, realizing that this is all probably too good to be true. “But it feels like I’m just dreaming…”
Kyungsoo walks over and puts the plate of pancakes on the table. He sighs as he sits in front of Jongin. “You’re not dreaming. I’m right here in front of you.” He holds Jongin’s hand and squeezes it tightly. The latter gives him a small smile, and they sit in silence as they eat their breakfast.
Jongin chooses to break the silence with a barely audible, “Are we okay?”
Kyungsoo isn’t the least bit surprised, because he knows Jongin’s bound to ask him that sooner or later. “I don’t know. Are we?” He throws the question back, their gazes meeting. Jongin looks hurt, as if expecting Kyungsoo to answer, and Kyungsoo somehow feels bad for merely throwing the question back at him.
“I… I’m really sorry I fucked up,” Jongin says earnestly, not breaking eye contact. “I’m trying to make it up to you, because, Soo, I really can’t stand not being with you. These past few months have been hell, believe me. I always miss your voice, the way you scold me when I forget to drink my vitamins, when I skip my meals…” He starts to break down in quiet sobs and Kyungsoo rushes to his side, hugging him tight in an attempt to calm him down.
“Shh, it’s okay, Jongin. I’m here now.” He plants kisses on Jongin’s face, not missing a spot, not even one.. When the latter stops sobbing, Kyungsoo decides it’s time to tell him everything. “Listen, Jongin… There’s something I have to tell you.”
Then he proceeds to talk about Soojung, how they met at the bar by accident, how things always seem to end up with them just being all over each other, all needy and merely lusting after the other. He sees the hurt in Jongin’s eyes, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing because Jongin deserves to know.
“And you’re telling me all of this now because?” Jongin asks, voice sounding so broken.
“Because I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I don’t want you to lose your trust in me like how I lost my trust in you.” Kyungsoo sighs, and situates himself on Jongin’s lap. He holds his face close to his, their noses almost touching. “I think, I’m ready to start over.”
And then he’s being attacked with kisses here and there, and he shrieks when Jongin carries him bridal style to their room. He won’t have this any other way.
In the middle of packing his things, as he’s moving back in with Jongin, Kyungsoo remembers Soojung, wondering how she’s been for the past month and a half. He calls her, but he’s directed to voice mail, so he sends her a text message instead.
To: Jung Soojung
9:58 a.m.
**
Hey, Soojung.
I need to talk to you.
Can we meet tonight?
I’ll go to your place at 7.
**
He’s placing the last batch of his belongings in Jongin’s car when his phone buzzes.
From: Jung Soojung
11:05 a.m.
**
Hi, Kyungsoo oppa.
Sure, I’ll be waiting~
See you ^^
**
“I’m going to Soojung’s place later,” Kyungsoo informs Jongin while on their way to Jongin’s apartment.
Jongin hums and takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his, kissing the back of his hand. “Okay. I’ll drop you off.”
Soojung paces nervously in her living room. What does he want to talk to me about? Could it be… they’re together again? Just as Soojung’s drowning in her thoughts, there’s a soft knock on her door. She takes deep breaths before unlocking it and letting Kyungsoo in. They awkwardly sit a foot apart from each other on the couch. Kyungsoo notices Soojung’s been playing with her hands, so he reaches for them and holds them in his.
“Soojung,” he begins, making Soojung look at him, albeit with teary eyes. It seems she already knows why they’re in her living room right now, about to start a conversation that’s going to be a huge blow to her. Nonetheless, he continues, “I’m moving back in with Jongin.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding.
“I kind of figured,” Soojungs says, smiling despite the tears in her eyes. She gently places her hands on the sides of Kyungsoo’s face. “I’m really happy for you, oppa.”
Kyungsoo’s heart clenches a bit, having been used to Soojung calling him oppa. He reaches out for Soojung’s face and wipes her tears. “I’m sorry, Soojung. I’m really, terribly sorry…”
“No,” Soojung shakes her head, suddenly pulling Kyungsoo towards her and hugging him tightly. “You don’t have to say sorry. You don’t owe me an apology. You deserve to be happy.”
Kyungsoo hugs her back. “But you do, too. We both do, Soojung.”
They promise to remain good friends and keep in touch, because they both know friendship is the only permanent thing they can offer. While that fact hurts both of them, since they’ve both been attached not just physically but emotionally as well, they’re very much aware that they can’t just keep running towards each other, wanting to be touched and held, whenever they feel like it. They just can’t keep doing that to themselves. They both need love and not just a body to warm them up and sate their inner desires.
One year later…
Kyungsoo impatiently types on his phone. “Where the hell are you?! We’re gonna miss our flight!!!” He’s been waiting for Jongin for the past hour. It is, after all, his idea that they go on a trip and have their official honeymoon. They’re not married, of course not, but they both wanted to celebrate their official togetherness so Jongin plans out a Jeju Island vacation for them. Said guy, however, chooses today of all days to be late.
Strong arms hold him by the waist and Kyungsoo turns to give Jongin a peck on the lips. “You’re late, young man.” He shakes his head for emphasis, before he’s being pulled into a breathtaking kiss. He blinks when Jongin lets go of him and carries their stuff.
“I know and I’m sorry,” he says, starting to walk, dragging Kyungsoo with him. “I had to attend to something at work. Now, let’s go!”
Kyungsoo watches Jongin in amusement as they board the plane. Before reaching the end of the gate, however, just a few feet away from the entrance, Kyungsoo pulls Jongin back and kisses him languidly, taking his sweet time. He then whispers, a bit excitedly, “I love you so much,” to which Jongin smiles before pecking Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips. “I know. I love you too,” he whispers back. They walk hand in hand, towards their new beginning.