I just confirmed that one of my clients took their own lives.
I am having a tough time not feeling bad. This is my second client who killed themselves. No I am not in private practice so they wernt MY clients, but the agency I work for, but I saw them both.
With this person I dont feel bad because I feel like I should have stopped it. I dont feel like there was something else I could/should have done. I dont feel responsible for this persons choice.
I feel sad because no matter how hard I try, I cant remember his face. It was only a few weeks ago, and yet I cant remember what he looked like. It makes me so sad. People deserve to be remembered. They deserve not to be forgotten. No matter their illness, or homelessness or any of that. They are still people and they deserve more than that, especially from me.
Im so sorry. I wish I could remember what you looked like. I wish I was better than I am. I hope you have found the peace you were looking for.