Bonsai - 4
Title: Bonsai
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Unrequited!TaeKey.
Warnings: It deals with pretty sensitive topics amongst fandoms. OOC overload. You have been warned.
Summary: Taemin grows a green house in the rooftop of the apartment he shares with Kibum.
✮
“Oppa! Your forget-me-nots are so beautiful!” Jinri chirped happily as she took out her royal blue colored digital camera to photograph them. “Could you please gift me a bundle of them? They’ll look great in the dining room! Right, Seonyoungie?”
“I like the daisies, or the carnations better…” Seonyoung replied. “But Taemin oppa, don’t listen to Jinri...we don’t want to cut your flowers off to put them in our dining table at all; they’re better this way, alive”
“It’s no problem, Seonyoungie yah” Taemin said smiling. “I can grow more of them later…”
“Oh no, no, no!” Soojung quickly intervened. “Jinri yah can get through just fine with the photos she just took…we don’t want any more dead flowers in our house, they should stay alive”
Jinri pouted. Taemin hated how unhappy she looked, so he grabbed a pair of gardener scissors, about to cut the bundle of blue flowers.
“Oppa, if you give Jinri a bundle of agonizing blue flowers I swear we both will stop talking to you!” Seonyoung quickly protested; half joking, half saying the truth.
“Okay, okay” Taemin raised both his hands and dropped the scissors somewhere else; he gave the upset girl an apologetic look. “I am sorry, Jinri yah…it looks like you only are to keep the photos…don’t worry, they are for free, I won’t ask any money for them”
“Glad to know that” Jinri replied, annoy obvious in his voice.
“In fact I grew all these flowers thinking of you all, girls; I knew you would like them” Taemin added shyly; Soojung blushed.
“You are such a flirt” Seonyoung crossed her arms, pretending to be annoyed.
“I know” Taemin shrugged.
“Don’t worry, he only does it with the pretty ones” The four youngsters jumped, utterly surprised by Minho’s voice. The elder seemed to have popped out of nowhere (when in fact he had secretly eavesdropped the whole conversation hidden near the rosemary bushes), with Jonghyun tugged aside.
“Hi” Jonghyun greeted, slightly embarrassed about lurking on them.
“We just got tired of Kibum’s bitching and decided to come over here to see if there’s something interesting” Minho quickly excused both of them, winking an eye to the three girls. “Fortunately enough we’ve placed our gazes upon three beautiful young ladies, so the mission was a total success” he then proceeded to attempt killing the three young women with his infamous white smile; the result could have been better only if Jonghyun didn’t slap him in the neck, groaning disgusted.
“For goodness’ sake! Can’t we have a chill time with any of you?” Seonyoung ranted. “Seemingly all SHINee members like to predate on young, innocent women! We should all take care of our backs now, gals!” she advised the other two, to which the youngsters nodded.
“Don’t worry, Minho yah is just a sappy fail” Jonghyun replied.
“I can see he’s a fail” Seonyoung joked. “But still, what about the rest of you?”
“I am Sekyung’s” Jonghyun wasn’t late to answer. He then pointed to Taemin “Taemin is just an ugly young duckling that should be focusing more on his studies rather than chasing girls around”
“Thanks” Taemin interrupted him, smiling sarcastically. “It means a lot to me”
Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“Shut up, Taem!” he retorted. “Can’t you see I am busy here trying to trick these little girls into thinking you are by no means trying to prey into one of them so you can feel free to do so later on?” he yelled jokingly, diverting the giggling girls. “You should feel grateful you snarky, obnoxious little kid!”
“Ouch” Minho held his hand into the side of his heart, pressing it against his chest while feigning hurt. “It even got me, Taemin, you should be raging now”
“Oh, believe me, I am” Taemin replied, laughing. “As if one should take every single thing hyung says in consideration”
The girls oh-ed in surprise.
Jonghyun and Taemin both stared into each other’s fiercely, creating a tense atmosphere; that is until both of them couldn’t take it anymore and started laughing out loud like mad men (which Minho thought they possibly were), Minho then facepalmed himself.
“I came here running away from that annoying little bitch named Kibum and his too obnoxious rant, not to be locked within a glass building with two crazed men and three beautiful ladies”
“Where’s Jinki oppa?” Seonyoung asked cheerfully, eyes glistening.
“In the kitchen” Minho shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s the one who has been left alone with Kibum and his ridiculous complaints”
“He’s such a saint young man…he’ll go to Heaven after he dies” Taemin replied. Because no one knew better how hard it was to stand Kibum’s nagging than him.
“That’s so sweet of him” Seonyoung clasped her hand together, blushing a little bit. “He’s such a good friend~”
“Or Kibum is just that pitiful” Jonghyun couldn’t help but point out.
“I am going to greet him, guys” the eldest girl grabbed Jinri and Soojung’s hand and quickly started walking away, dragging them along. “See you later, Taemin oppa!”
“Hey! What about us?” Minho yelled, rolling his eyes annoyed and he saw Seonyoung walking away just waving them a love and peace sign.
“Jinki is so lucky” Taemin observed.
“That annelid better notice her before it’s too late” Jonghyun mused. “Or before I punch him for being such a jerk”
“It’s not his fault he’s really that oblivious” Minho tried counseling.
“Yes but he could at least do something about it”
Taemin rolled his eyes; he turned around to examine his greenhouse, which had evoluted from a plain glass cabin of two meters by side per three meters of height to a glass one the shape of their apartment, occupying the whole rooftop area. There were plants everywhere; from little patches of soil where he would plant vegetables, to tiny or medium-sized fruit trees and bunches of spice bushes, and lots of colorful flowers. The fact only he and himself alone (with a little of Jiyong’s help) was the responsible for breathing lots of life into all those plants was enough for his ego to inflate until it reached very high levels.
“By the way” he ventured to question. “What’s that Kibum hyung is ranting a lot about?”
“He says you have been neglecting him and that you prefer your silly plants over him” Minho shot Taemin a concerned look as he replied to his question.
“Which in my opinion is plain bull” Jonghyun added. “Don’t mind him; he’s just upset and frustrated that Amber has been neglecting him too…you know, they have stopped hanging around and she has gone back to hang out with Jiho and those guys whose names we don’t know…”
“I thought Jinri was the one dating that guy” Taemin shrugged.
“Yes, she is…but, you know, they are always having their ups and downs…Amber and Jiho are just friends” The eldest replied.
“She also has a lot of friends in JYP and Cube too…” Minho said.
“That girl has got friends everywhere!” Jonghyun retorted again.
“Can’t blame her though; she’s really friendly and warm to everyone” Taemin muttered.
“I can actually see why Kibum is so in love with her” Jonghyun conceded.
Minho could practically feel Taemin tense up as he heard those words; the crystallized gaze, and the disappearing smile.
“Hey, bro…are you okay?” He asked, concerned, wrapping an arm around Taemin’s shoulders.
“Yeah” Taemin looked down.
Jonghyun looked at the two of them, startled.
“Hey” he said. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, hyung. Not at all” Taemin simply replied, a dry, colorless smile drawn in his lips.
“Then why are you two so low?” the eldest inquired.
“It’s nothing, hyung; we are fine” Minho said. Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“Fine” he fumed. “It’s not like I am going to understand either of you anyway…you are a pair of very weird children, after all”
Taemin just smiled bittersweetly.
-
“Hey, swan chick” Changmin stroked Taemin’s long locks of light auburn hair. “Wanna go have some coffee? I know of a café shop that sells good drinks and where nobody will ever recognize either of us…”
Taemin smiled gently.
“No, it’s okay” he declined the offer the best and quickest way he could. “I shall wait here until hyung is out from school”
Both were seated in a bench on the park that was next to the high school Kibum attended. The young man was answering a very important exam to get his high school certificate and Taemin had promised him to wait for him until he was finally done with it.
Which was still pointless nonetheless. Taemin knew Kibum would soon forget about him the moment Amber appeared on scene; unlike Taemin, Amber would only arrive a few minutes before the test ended, but still the fact she would be there would mean so much more to Kibum than the young heartbroken boy that had waited for him from the very beginning until the very end. He knew Amber would arrive with some surprise present and then they would kiss and snuggle together, leaving Taemin aside.
Changmin was with him; the tall, tan singer had just gotten out of a court session and decided to make Taemin some company while he was waiting for his crush to be out of the exam. To Taemin it had meant a lot, for he knew Changmin was tired and very, very angry, and still he had decided to be with Taemin nonetheless.
“Oh, come on” Changmin quietly said, almost in a whisper. “I am getting cold, and I suppose you too…we need something warm or else we might die frozen”
“Hyung” Taemin replied in an exasperatedly calm voice. “If you wish, you can go there…but I am staying”
“It’s not funny when you go there alone” Changmin pouted, failing at trying to make it seem cute; he approached his face to Taemin’s side, enclosing the already short distance that was between the taller man’s nose and Taemin’s golden locks, the same frightening pout plastered in his features. “Come with me, chirpy baby swan…it’ll be better than just stay here waiting”
Taemin pulled away his hyung’s face with his hand, smiling a little.
“No thanks, I prefer staying here with Kibum” Taemin tried to make it sound as if his decision was final.
“Fine” Changmin ducked away, slightly annoyed. “I am going there, don’t you want anything?”
“Chai bubble tea” Taemin quickly responded. “With delactosed milk. Please”
Changmin quickly stood up while rolling his eyes at Taemin.
“Fine” he said, grabbing his coat and bag. “I am bringing you whatever I feel like”
The youngster smiled at him heartwarmingly. Oh how he wished Kibum was that considerate with him, just like Changmin hyung. Kibum has gotten cooler and distant lately.
“You know I love you, Changminnie hyung”
“No, you don’t. Now shut up and stay here, don’t make me worried.” He said, while he walked away.
Taemin sat there, obediently. Ten minutes passed, and neither Kibum nor Amber nor Changmin appeared; twenty minutes, and he was already playing nonsensically with his fingers; thirty seven minutes, and he fished his phone to play some while he waited.
Forty five minutes, still nothing.
Seventy eight minutes, and Taemin got fed up and was readily typing Changmin’s phone when a pair of hands covered his eyes out of the blue.
“Hey” Taemin recognized Changmin’s minted breath, and then something was placed on his lap.
Changmin took his hands out of Taemin’s eyes; the youngster looked down and saw a bundle of white roses and daisies.
“I thought you might want to give them to Kibum ah…you know, if he passes the exam. If not, then feel free to give them back to me or to someone else, he likes white roses, right?”
Taemin giggled sheepishly.
“Hyung, these are my favorite flowers, not Kibum hyung’s…”
“I know” Changmin replied with a similar smile. “But hey, it’ll be a nice gesture coming from you”
“You shouldn’t have bothered, hyung…Amber will probably bring some along too…”
“Hey” Changmin cut off “I know, but it won’t harm anyone if you do so too”
“Okay, right…I get it” Taemin replied. “Where’s my tea?” he asked, to which Changmin stuck out his tongue.
“I told you I was bringing you whatever I wanted” he said before he got his left shoulder slapped by Taemin. “Ouch!” he winced. “Okay! Well, whatever I felt was cheaper…I didn’t have enough cash for both drinks…”
“You could have asked me for money then, and I would have lent you some” Taemin was slightly upset about it, he had been craving one of those chai teas for a while now. “Why didn’t you use the card?”
“And have someone recognizing me by my signature?” Changmin snapped sarcastically. “No way”
Taemin just hugged the eldest.
“Thanks?”
“Thanks…for what?”
“Being here with me…listen, hyung…I know you aren't exactly going through a smooth time, and that right now you might be pissed as hell and all that…but still the fact you chose to accompany me instead of heading right to home and rest a little means a lot to me, hyung…”
“It’s nothing, Taem”
“Yes it is”
Changmin just wrapped his arms around Taemin, who was still hugging him; he then wondered if what he had just heard had been his heart cracking apart.
He honestly hoped it wasn’t.
-
“Why would you call me Ugly Swan Chick, though?” he asked, taking away the carton mug of coffee from Changmin.
“Have you ever read that tale? You kind of remind me that ugly duckling” The eldest replied, shooting a glare to Taemin, in his mind very regretful of the delicious coffee Taemin had stolen from him and which he wouldn’t be able to drink.
Taemin gave him yet another of his are-you-serious stares.
“Wow, like, seriously hyung….it’s so nice coming from you” the youngster snapped. “No, I am serious; you normally say worse things so I think I should take that as a compliment?”
Changmin cracked up laughing and Taemin had to fight the urge to hit him. As immature and childish Changmin might be, he was still his hyung and he had to show respect for him.
“It’s not like that!” Changmin blabbered.
“You just called me ugly, hyung” Taemin replied calmly, and Changmin gulped down at the sight of his coffee being drunk by someone else.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Taemin…” Changmin said.
“Then what else would that mean?”
“Are you sure you recall the tale correctly?”
“Uhh…I think so?” Taemin said sarcastically.
“Then you should know that ugly fail attempt of a duckling at the end became the most beautiful swan ever on the whole lake”
Taemin blinked.
“Still makes no sense”
“What I am trying to say” Changmin started making weird moves with his hands. “Is that you are like that swan-duck-whatever-it-was…soon you’ll be the most dazzling and beautiful out of them all…”
Taemin smiled, handing his hyung the half-emptied carton.
“I can see whom Minho learnt all his sappy fail from…it was either you or Yunho hyung anyway”
Changmin smacked Taemin’s head.
“Love you too” Taemin yelled amused.
-
“Jojo, how are you feeling?” Taemin caressed the ranches of the quickly growing tree as usual. The leaves’ green had died down a little but that was enough for Taemin to worry. “It wasn’t because I decided to give you a new haircut, was it?” he had read some trees get upset if you cut their leaves in a different way than the one they were normally used to.
“Jojo, I am sorry…” he tried counseling his poor green plant. “I promise I won’t do it again…okay?”
As usual, the tree didn’t respond. What was he exactly hoping for?
Taemin then stood up, taking a glance at what appeared to be the newborn buds of the red roses he had bought last week. ‘I spend a great deal of my spare time in here, now don’t I’ he voiced his thoughts aloud.
It wasn’t like he regretted it; sure, he missed hanging around with friends, or going alone on those secret trips he used to do while the rest of his hyungs weren’t available (he loved those, he would discover secret shops or sightings and people wouldn’t even recognize him, and if they did, they just didn’t care), or staying at someone’s house for the night, or spending (more like wasting) his time in the living room gaming, or reading a good book, or even dancing; but he loved his greenhouse, loved the plants, loved to know he somehow helped to clean the environment of this foggy city.
But foremost, he loved the relief it brought to his mind; the fact Kibum was slowly getting out of the painful side of his heart, only to be remembered as a though stage of his youth, getting replaced by his love for plants. ‘So this is what they call moving on, perhaps?’
He gazed down at his milkweeds, some yellowish flaws had appeared into some of the buds; when Taemin approached them, and he took one of the bundles and picked those tiny seemingly yellow balls.
He soon realized those weren’t just yellow tiny balls, as soon as his finger touched one of them the rest of the balls scattered and started running away; he threw the lettuce to the ground, disgusted, and then proceeded to kill all those annoying things -whatever they were -with his fingers or feet.
“Where was that pesticide I made Minho hyung buy, again?” Taemin fumed, disgruntled. Rolling his eyes he then remembered he had stocked it somewhere near the kitchen. Now he had to go inside and get it.
He went downstairs; careful enough not to mess around with nearby trash bins, and got inside. As far as he could recall he was technically alone in the house, with perhaps Jinki in the kitchen preparing food for both Taemin and Kibum (if he hadn’t left already) so he guessed it was okay to just get in, instead of knocking the door just to make his presence know. ‘It’s not like there will be people getting it on in my kitchen floor anyways’ he thought.
So he just opened the wooden door, and much to his dismay, it seemed some people were pretty much having it on in his kitchen; Taemin at first didn’t notice was actually going on, but when he did, he nearly had a heart attack.
“----!”
“Oh, hey, you two are her-HOLY SHIT HYUNG-” Taemin almost yelled in panic, immediately covering his mouth, apologizing to the two people in there. “I mean, oh my god, I am so sorry I should have knocked the door but seriously guys I should go now, right?” He bowed and then quickly ran away to his room; slamming the door shut, he jumped into bed and curled himself up, hyperventilating. Those stupid yellow dots could wait a day more, after all. Who cared about lettuces and milkweeds?
“The fuck was that?” he silently asked to himself. Not quite knowing what to do.
Taemin quickly grabbed his phone, which was lying on the desk, already on his way to text Jiyong or Minho or Jonghyun or Jinki or just anyone who happened to be first on his contact list. He then dismissed the idea as a very stupid one, because, for one, it wasn’t like he had the right to boast aloud about Kibum and Amber’s relationship when she supposedly was Henry’s girlfriend, and, for two, it wasn’t like they were exactly getting it on…rather just making out shamelessly??
The fact his hand trembled, needing to text something on the keyboard, didn’t help either. He then decided to just text something totally different from the original topic. Taemin opened the Contact list of his phone and decided to text some random person.
“Taeho yah” he read aloud. Yeah, that should do it. Breathe, Taemin, breathe. It’s not the end of the world.
‘hzxjdh
Almost a minute later, a reply came.
‘Sorry? ^^||||’
‘It’s helpless…I am going crazy’
‘Hyung…why won’t you just move on?’
‘Do you think I wouldn’t have already if I had the chance?’
‘Then you could talk to him about it’
‘Never in hell will I ever tell him that!’
‘Then I don’t know what you should do…what’s exactly what gets in your nerves, though?’
‘He and his gf are all over each other’
‘tell him how you feel about it, then’
‘I can’t’
‘Why?’
‘I cannot begin explaining why…’
’How come?’
‘I somehow…liked it when it happened?’
‘Is it Lust?’
‘Yeah…kind of…can we hang out tonight?’
‘Sorry…have school to attend tomorrow…’
‘Oh, I see…sorry about that’
Taemin didn’t wait for an answer after that; closing his cell phone and after stuffing it inside his bag, he lied on the mattress motionlessly, staring at the ceiling. He then covered his face with a pillow, smacking it a few times, and then he screamed with all the power the long-time kept feelings gave him.
-
“I think we upset him” Kibum whispered worriedly, as if fearing Taemin would actually hear him. Amber just rolled her eyes.
“What ever made you think that?” she asked, annoyed.
“He slammed his bedroom door” Kibum pointed out serious.
“No shit, Holmes” Amber quickly replied in English.
“Taemin always slams the door shut when he is angry” Kibum replied, still unnoticing of the unbelieving look Amber shot him.
“There should be a law that prohibits you from saying stupid things” Amber snapped, slapping Kibum’s shoulder.
“Ouch! What for?” Kibum whined “Besides, it’s not like I notice every time I say stupid things…”
“That’s why you should just shut up…you know, just to make sure you don’t say anything idiotic at all” she replied, almost bursting into laughter.
“I am very offended by your words, young miss…” Kibum whined.
“Whatever” Amber rolled her eyes. “We should walk away from here, or else it’s gonna become awkward”
“No” Kibum stopped Amber on her tracks. “I think it might be better if we talked to him…”
“Why?”
“Because, well…he’s upset, I get that but… uhm, it has gotten worse these past days…” the young man revealed. “He’s moody, and he gets stressed easily and I don’t know what to do anymore, Am…” he stammered the floor with his fists. “I feel like I am losing him, he just seems so distant and indolent it hurts me to no end, he has stopped smiling genuinely too…”
“Have you tried talking to him?” Amber asked, concerned.
“Well, kind of…okay, not really…” Kibum replied. “I am scared, Am; I am scared of what he might say if I ever ask him what’s going on…besides, I don’t really know, but I believe he thinks we all think he’s fine, that it’s just a phase, but honestly speaking I don’t remember being that gloomy back in the day, nor can I recall if any of my acquaintances got that depressed either…”
“It isn’t the same, Key…” Amber caressed Kibum’s head reassuringly. “At his age, you weren’t a celebrity…when you were his age you could still live a normal life, while he can’t”
“I can understand that” Kibum conceded. “But he wasn’t like this before, you know what I mean? He has always been a cheerful child who always had a smile drawn in his lips”
“What about the others?” She embraced him, and Kibum just buried his face in her neck, exhaling the sweet aroma. “What have they told you? What are their thoughts on this?”
“I don’t know, okay!” Kibum yelled, angry at himself and at so many things he couldn’t possibly think logically anymore. “Minho acted like a bothersome butt hurt bitch and started ranting and telling lies on how much of a cynical person I was when I first asked, also he keeps on putting up the most nonsensical bullshit I have ever heard in my whole life and Jinki and Jonghyun keep buying it, not sure if they are really that stupid or they just really don’t care at all…Jonghyun is over the fucking moon with Sekyung and Jinki…I don’t know, that guy is just so freaking weird I gave up on him a long time ago; and I should shut up now because now it looks as if I despise all of them when in reality I love all those idiots so fucking much oh my god”
“It’s okay, darling” Amber soothed, tracing circles in Kibum’s shoulders. “Just speak your mind”
“It would be better if I just hated them all” Kibum sighed. “Or if I just didn’t care at all, instead of having me all worked up on them because holy shit I just care a lot”
“And what are you going to do about it?” Amber questioned, loving how worried her boyfriend seemed.
“I don’t know, and now I just worsened the things even more”
“Then try fixing them up, so that in the end you can at least say you tried” she resolved.
“I love you lots okay”
“I love you too, noona” she mocked. Kibum just told her to shut up and kissed her full in the lips, sweet and soft.
After they broke apart, she laughed loud and clear enough for Taemin to hear, which made his heart sunk even more at the simple thought of the lovebirds making fun of his clumsiness and stupidity. He felt like a loser.
-
A knock in the door.
No response.
Another one, two, three four.
“What do you want, hyung?” Taemin spat out bitterly. “The door’s open, if you wish to come in”
A very hesitant and embarrassed Kibum entered the bedroom, and Taemin just felt like puking. The elder carried along a big bag of barbeque-flavored potato chips (Taemin’s favorite flavor by the way).
He stood by the door frame motionless, still unsure about what he exactly was going to say.
“Again, if you are just here to waste my oxygen then you can feel free to leave” Taemin said. “I am busy doing homework”
“I, uh…Are you upset?” The elder scratched his neck uneasily.
“Why would I?” Taemin replied, not even bothering to lift his gaze from the textbook he was reading. “Really, I just walked in at a very inadequate moment, it was my fault…I should’ve knocked the door before entering”
“Taemin, look at me”
“I said I was not upset! Why would I-?”
“Taemin, I said look at me”
Taemin gave a long, exasperating huff before looking up to where Kibum was.
“What’s going on with you?” Kibum finally asked.
“What do you mean hyung?”
“You have been so down these past days, and I am worried…what is it that has made you like this?”
The youngest just stared at Kibum with a look that was a mixture of both frustration and disbelief.
“You don’t really want to know, hyung”
“Taem…I am asking because I care…I care about you guys a lot, I am concerned about how are you doing…why wouldn’t I want to know?”
Taemin just turned back to his books, his back facing the eldest.
“I am…well, this is the moment of your life in which you realize a lot of things you didn’t even know about yourself…that’s all you need to know”
“Are you feeling lonely?” Kibum asked, concerned; aware of how much Taemin missed his family and friends. “I can understand how you must be feeling…I miss my grandmother and my parents a lot too…”
“Yes, I am…but that’s not it”
“Then what is it?”
“I said you don’t really wish to know”
“Taem, please tell me…you know you can always come to me…”
“No”
“Not even the smallest detail?”
“No”
“Are you mad at me?” Kibum asked; pain evidently present in his voice. Taemin gasped.
“Never…you are very special to me…I would never get mad at you”
And that was it. Kibum steadied up and threw the snack bag aside; turning to the other side, he was about to leave the room until Taemin asked worriedly.
“Why are you leaving, hyung?”
Kibum stopped in his tracks, somber.
“You say you love me…yet you can’t trust me…how am I even supposed to believe that?”
“Because I truly mean it”
“Those are only words…words are very easy to say”
“You know I love you, Kibum hyung” Taemin tried concealing.
“Yet I am the one who has to beg you to talk…because you obviously won’t talk by yourself” Kibum replied bitterly. “It’s your problem, and still I chose to help you…but you are so stubborn you won’t let anyone else help you…”
“But I-”
“I’ve had enough, Taemin…if you are that reluctant to speak up your mind to me then I guess you can to cry on Minho’s shoulder, because seemingly he is someone you can freely talk to”
Taemin closed his book loud enough for Kibum to flinch.
“I talk to him because he’s more open minded than you”
Kibum turned his head back to Taemin.
“What does that even mean?” he asked hurt.
“Just go”
Kibum rolled his eyes, he then walked to the door and slammed it shut hard enough for some pictures Taemin had hanged on his walls fall down.
-
Jonghyun woke up from the nap he was taking on the couch at the irritating sound of the doorbell; quickly groaning a response with something along the lines of ‘I am coming’ he stood up, looked around for his shoes, and then proceeded to approach the entrance.
Not long before he got to open the door another ring was heard and then another and a next one and another one after that.
“What do you want Kibum?” he snapped annoyed.
“Where’s that tall fucker?” Kibum yelled.
“Huh?” Jonghyun asked dumbfounded, still half asleep.
“Where’s Minho?”
“Why would I know?”
“He’s in here, right?”
“I suppose…”
Kibum didn’t ask for any permission to enter the apartment, he just pushed Jonghyun aside and headed towards the bedrooms.
Minho was alone in Jinki’s room, playing some dumb videogames.
Kibum slammed the door open, much to Minho’s surprise.
“You are going to tell me now why is that bastard playing emo drama queen and you are going to tell me now or else I am fucking going to skin you alive and don’t act surprised Choi Minho you know what I am talking about and you also know I won’t ever doubt a second about the skinning you alive part!”
“The fuck??” Jonghyun asked, mad and confused.
“Go away! This hasn’t got anything to do with you!” Kibum nagged, slamming the door shut in Jonghyun’s nose. Jonghyun groaned, walking away back to the couch, trying to catch some more sleep.
“You are a jerk” Minho sentenced.
“Sometimes” Kibum replied.
“I am not telling you anything”
“We’ll see then”
“If Taemin’s’ not saying a thing, then why should I? It’s not my thing to tell”
“Just spit it out, will you”
“He’s sad and troubled”
“Yeah, I got that already”
“It’s partially your fault”
“Why so?”
“Don’t worry; it’s also the society’s fault I suppose…”
“Tell me”
“He believes he’s a monster”
“Why?”
Minho arched an eyebrow.
“You tell me, Kibum” the tallest replied, obviously starting to get annoyed. “What have you told him?”
Kibum blinked, he had no idea what exactly was going on.
“What if Taemin turns out to be something that makes you want to gag? What if you happen to find out he is someone so disgusting he should rot in hell? Huh?” Minho’s voice was venom, venom that sent erratic chills of fear to Kibum’s brain, venom that burned his skin and ripped his heart painfully enough to asphyxiate him to death. “Would you kill him? Would you tell everyone else about it? Would you send him to a mental? What would you do, Kibum?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”
Minho took a few steps closer to Kibum; reluctant to break the eye contact, he cornered Kibum and in a low voice hissed:
“What if I told you” he started. “That the only one he is afraid of is you? What if I told you that you are the one who is rotting his heart by not accepting him for who he is?”
“But I haven’t done anything! I swear I didn’t do anything wrong?” Kibum cried out.
“Then what about being homophobic? Isn’t that a wrongdoing?” Minho bit back. Kibum swallowed hard.
“I don’t- I- You must be kidding, I don’t get it”
“Just what you have heard…go figure it out yourself”
“Is he…?” Kibum cut off the sentence before ending it, to which Minho nodded. “Oh”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Free Web Counter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Unrequited!TaeKey.
Warnings: It deals with pretty sensitive topics amongst fandoms. OOC overload. You have been warned.
Summary: Taemin grows a green house in the rooftop of the apartment he shares with Kibum.
✮
“Oppa! Your forget-me-nots are so beautiful!” Jinri chirped happily as she took out her royal blue colored digital camera to photograph them. “Could you please gift me a bundle of them? They’ll look great in the dining room! Right, Seonyoungie?”
“I like the daisies, or the carnations better…” Seonyoung replied. “But Taemin oppa, don’t listen to Jinri...we don’t want to cut your flowers off to put them in our dining table at all; they’re better this way, alive”
“It’s no problem, Seonyoungie yah” Taemin said smiling. “I can grow more of them later…”
“Oh no, no, no!” Soojung quickly intervened. “Jinri yah can get through just fine with the photos she just took…we don’t want any more dead flowers in our house, they should stay alive”
Jinri pouted. Taemin hated how unhappy she looked, so he grabbed a pair of gardener scissors, about to cut the bundle of blue flowers.
“Oppa, if you give Jinri a bundle of agonizing blue flowers I swear we both will stop talking to you!” Seonyoung quickly protested; half joking, half saying the truth.
“Okay, okay” Taemin raised both his hands and dropped the scissors somewhere else; he gave the upset girl an apologetic look. “I am sorry, Jinri yah…it looks like you only are to keep the photos…don’t worry, they are for free, I won’t ask any money for them”
“Glad to know that” Jinri replied, annoy obvious in his voice.
“In fact I grew all these flowers thinking of you all, girls; I knew you would like them” Taemin added shyly; Soojung blushed.
“You are such a flirt” Seonyoung crossed her arms, pretending to be annoyed.
“I know” Taemin shrugged.
“Don’t worry, he only does it with the pretty ones” The four youngsters jumped, utterly surprised by Minho’s voice. The elder seemed to have popped out of nowhere (when in fact he had secretly eavesdropped the whole conversation hidden near the rosemary bushes), with Jonghyun tugged aside.
“Hi” Jonghyun greeted, slightly embarrassed about lurking on them.
“We just got tired of Kibum’s bitching and decided to come over here to see if there’s something interesting” Minho quickly excused both of them, winking an eye to the three girls. “Fortunately enough we’ve placed our gazes upon three beautiful young ladies, so the mission was a total success” he then proceeded to attempt killing the three young women with his infamous white smile; the result could have been better only if Jonghyun didn’t slap him in the neck, groaning disgusted.
“For goodness’ sake! Can’t we have a chill time with any of you?” Seonyoung ranted. “Seemingly all SHINee members like to predate on young, innocent women! We should all take care of our backs now, gals!” she advised the other two, to which the youngsters nodded.
“Don’t worry, Minho yah is just a sappy fail” Jonghyun replied.
“I can see he’s a fail” Seonyoung joked. “But still, what about the rest of you?”
“I am Sekyung’s” Jonghyun wasn’t late to answer. He then pointed to Taemin “Taemin is just an ugly young duckling that should be focusing more on his studies rather than chasing girls around”
“Thanks” Taemin interrupted him, smiling sarcastically. “It means a lot to me”
Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“Shut up, Taem!” he retorted. “Can’t you see I am busy here trying to trick these little girls into thinking you are by no means trying to prey into one of them so you can feel free to do so later on?” he yelled jokingly, diverting the giggling girls. “You should feel grateful you snarky, obnoxious little kid!”
“Ouch” Minho held his hand into the side of his heart, pressing it against his chest while feigning hurt. “It even got me, Taemin, you should be raging now”
“Oh, believe me, I am” Taemin replied, laughing. “As if one should take every single thing hyung says in consideration”
The girls oh-ed in surprise.
Jonghyun and Taemin both stared into each other’s fiercely, creating a tense atmosphere; that is until both of them couldn’t take it anymore and started laughing out loud like mad men (which Minho thought they possibly were), Minho then facepalmed himself.
“I came here running away from that annoying little bitch named Kibum and his too obnoxious rant, not to be locked within a glass building with two crazed men and three beautiful ladies”
“Where’s Jinki oppa?” Seonyoung asked cheerfully, eyes glistening.
“In the kitchen” Minho shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s the one who has been left alone with Kibum and his ridiculous complaints”
“He’s such a saint young man…he’ll go to Heaven after he dies” Taemin replied. Because no one knew better how hard it was to stand Kibum’s nagging than him.
“That’s so sweet of him” Seonyoung clasped her hand together, blushing a little bit. “He’s such a good friend~”
“Or Kibum is just that pitiful” Jonghyun couldn’t help but point out.
“I am going to greet him, guys” the eldest girl grabbed Jinri and Soojung’s hand and quickly started walking away, dragging them along. “See you later, Taemin oppa!”
“Hey! What about us?” Minho yelled, rolling his eyes annoyed and he saw Seonyoung walking away just waving them a love and peace sign.
“Jinki is so lucky” Taemin observed.
“That annelid better notice her before it’s too late” Jonghyun mused. “Or before I punch him for being such a jerk”
“It’s not his fault he’s really that oblivious” Minho tried counseling.
“Yes but he could at least do something about it”
Taemin rolled his eyes; he turned around to examine his greenhouse, which had evoluted from a plain glass cabin of two meters by side per three meters of height to a glass one the shape of their apartment, occupying the whole rooftop area. There were plants everywhere; from little patches of soil where he would plant vegetables, to tiny or medium-sized fruit trees and bunches of spice bushes, and lots of colorful flowers. The fact only he and himself alone (with a little of Jiyong’s help) was the responsible for breathing lots of life into all those plants was enough for his ego to inflate until it reached very high levels.
“By the way” he ventured to question. “What’s that Kibum hyung is ranting a lot about?”
“He says you have been neglecting him and that you prefer your silly plants over him” Minho shot Taemin a concerned look as he replied to his question.
“Which in my opinion is plain bull” Jonghyun added. “Don’t mind him; he’s just upset and frustrated that Amber has been neglecting him too…you know, they have stopped hanging around and she has gone back to hang out with Jiho and those guys whose names we don’t know…”
“I thought Jinri was the one dating that guy” Taemin shrugged.
“Yes, she is…but, you know, they are always having their ups and downs…Amber and Jiho are just friends” The eldest replied.
“She also has a lot of friends in JYP and Cube too…” Minho said.
“That girl has got friends everywhere!” Jonghyun retorted again.
“Can’t blame her though; she’s really friendly and warm to everyone” Taemin muttered.
“I can actually see why Kibum is so in love with her” Jonghyun conceded.
Minho could practically feel Taemin tense up as he heard those words; the crystallized gaze, and the disappearing smile.
“Hey, bro…are you okay?” He asked, concerned, wrapping an arm around Taemin’s shoulders.
“Yeah” Taemin looked down.
Jonghyun looked at the two of them, startled.
“Hey” he said. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, hyung. Not at all” Taemin simply replied, a dry, colorless smile drawn in his lips.
“Then why are you two so low?” the eldest inquired.
“It’s nothing, hyung; we are fine” Minho said. Jonghyun rolled his eyes.
“Fine” he fumed. “It’s not like I am going to understand either of you anyway…you are a pair of very weird children, after all”
Taemin just smiled bittersweetly.
-
“Hey, swan chick” Changmin stroked Taemin’s long locks of light auburn hair. “Wanna go have some coffee? I know of a café shop that sells good drinks and where nobody will ever recognize either of us…”
Taemin smiled gently.
“No, it’s okay” he declined the offer the best and quickest way he could. “I shall wait here until hyung is out from school”
Both were seated in a bench on the park that was next to the high school Kibum attended. The young man was answering a very important exam to get his high school certificate and Taemin had promised him to wait for him until he was finally done with it.
Which was still pointless nonetheless. Taemin knew Kibum would soon forget about him the moment Amber appeared on scene; unlike Taemin, Amber would only arrive a few minutes before the test ended, but still the fact she would be there would mean so much more to Kibum than the young heartbroken boy that had waited for him from the very beginning until the very end. He knew Amber would arrive with some surprise present and then they would kiss and snuggle together, leaving Taemin aside.
Changmin was with him; the tall, tan singer had just gotten out of a court session and decided to make Taemin some company while he was waiting for his crush to be out of the exam. To Taemin it had meant a lot, for he knew Changmin was tired and very, very angry, and still he had decided to be with Taemin nonetheless.
“Oh, come on” Changmin quietly said, almost in a whisper. “I am getting cold, and I suppose you too…we need something warm or else we might die frozen”
“Hyung” Taemin replied in an exasperatedly calm voice. “If you wish, you can go there…but I am staying”
“It’s not funny when you go there alone” Changmin pouted, failing at trying to make it seem cute; he approached his face to Taemin’s side, enclosing the already short distance that was between the taller man’s nose and Taemin’s golden locks, the same frightening pout plastered in his features. “Come with me, chirpy baby swan…it’ll be better than just stay here waiting”
Taemin pulled away his hyung’s face with his hand, smiling a little.
“No thanks, I prefer staying here with Kibum” Taemin tried to make it sound as if his decision was final.
“Fine” Changmin ducked away, slightly annoyed. “I am going there, don’t you want anything?”
“Chai bubble tea” Taemin quickly responded. “With delactosed milk. Please”
Changmin quickly stood up while rolling his eyes at Taemin.
“Fine” he said, grabbing his coat and bag. “I am bringing you whatever I feel like”
The youngster smiled at him heartwarmingly. Oh how he wished Kibum was that considerate with him, just like Changmin hyung. Kibum has gotten cooler and distant lately.
“You know I love you, Changminnie hyung”
“No, you don’t. Now shut up and stay here, don’t make me worried.” He said, while he walked away.
Taemin sat there, obediently. Ten minutes passed, and neither Kibum nor Amber nor Changmin appeared; twenty minutes, and he was already playing nonsensically with his fingers; thirty seven minutes, and he fished his phone to play some while he waited.
Forty five minutes, still nothing.
Seventy eight minutes, and Taemin got fed up and was readily typing Changmin’s phone when a pair of hands covered his eyes out of the blue.
“Hey” Taemin recognized Changmin’s minted breath, and then something was placed on his lap.
Changmin took his hands out of Taemin’s eyes; the youngster looked down and saw a bundle of white roses and daisies.
“I thought you might want to give them to Kibum ah…you know, if he passes the exam. If not, then feel free to give them back to me or to someone else, he likes white roses, right?”
Taemin giggled sheepishly.
“Hyung, these are my favorite flowers, not Kibum hyung’s…”
“I know” Changmin replied with a similar smile. “But hey, it’ll be a nice gesture coming from you”
“You shouldn’t have bothered, hyung…Amber will probably bring some along too…”
“Hey” Changmin cut off “I know, but it won’t harm anyone if you do so too”
“Okay, right…I get it” Taemin replied. “Where’s my tea?” he asked, to which Changmin stuck out his tongue.
“I told you I was bringing you whatever I wanted” he said before he got his left shoulder slapped by Taemin. “Ouch!” he winced. “Okay! Well, whatever I felt was cheaper…I didn’t have enough cash for both drinks…”
“You could have asked me for money then, and I would have lent you some” Taemin was slightly upset about it, he had been craving one of those chai teas for a while now. “Why didn’t you use the card?”
“And have someone recognizing me by my signature?” Changmin snapped sarcastically. “No way”
Taemin just hugged the eldest.
“Thanks?”
“Thanks…for what?”
“Being here with me…listen, hyung…I know you aren't exactly going through a smooth time, and that right now you might be pissed as hell and all that…but still the fact you chose to accompany me instead of heading right to home and rest a little means a lot to me, hyung…”
“It’s nothing, Taem”
“Yes it is”
Changmin just wrapped his arms around Taemin, who was still hugging him; he then wondered if what he had just heard had been his heart cracking apart.
He honestly hoped it wasn’t.
-
“Why would you call me Ugly Swan Chick, though?” he asked, taking away the carton mug of coffee from Changmin.
“Have you ever read that tale? You kind of remind me that ugly duckling” The eldest replied, shooting a glare to Taemin, in his mind very regretful of the delicious coffee Taemin had stolen from him and which he wouldn’t be able to drink.
Taemin gave him yet another of his are-you-serious stares.
“Wow, like, seriously hyung….it’s so nice coming from you” the youngster snapped. “No, I am serious; you normally say worse things so I think I should take that as a compliment?”
Changmin cracked up laughing and Taemin had to fight the urge to hit him. As immature and childish Changmin might be, he was still his hyung and he had to show respect for him.
“It’s not like that!” Changmin blabbered.
“You just called me ugly, hyung” Taemin replied calmly, and Changmin gulped down at the sight of his coffee being drunk by someone else.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Taemin…” Changmin said.
“Then what else would that mean?”
“Are you sure you recall the tale correctly?”
“Uhh…I think so?” Taemin said sarcastically.
“Then you should know that ugly fail attempt of a duckling at the end became the most beautiful swan ever on the whole lake”
Taemin blinked.
“Still makes no sense”
“What I am trying to say” Changmin started making weird moves with his hands. “Is that you are like that swan-duck-whatever-it-was…soon you’ll be the most dazzling and beautiful out of them all…”
Taemin smiled, handing his hyung the half-emptied carton.
“I can see whom Minho learnt all his sappy fail from…it was either you or Yunho hyung anyway”
Changmin smacked Taemin’s head.
“Love you too” Taemin yelled amused.
-
“Jojo, how are you feeling?” Taemin caressed the ranches of the quickly growing tree as usual. The leaves’ green had died down a little but that was enough for Taemin to worry. “It wasn’t because I decided to give you a new haircut, was it?” he had read some trees get upset if you cut their leaves in a different way than the one they were normally used to.
“Jojo, I am sorry…” he tried counseling his poor green plant. “I promise I won’t do it again…okay?”
As usual, the tree didn’t respond. What was he exactly hoping for?
Taemin then stood up, taking a glance at what appeared to be the newborn buds of the red roses he had bought last week. ‘I spend a great deal of my spare time in here, now don’t I’ he voiced his thoughts aloud.
It wasn’t like he regretted it; sure, he missed hanging around with friends, or going alone on those secret trips he used to do while the rest of his hyungs weren’t available (he loved those, he would discover secret shops or sightings and people wouldn’t even recognize him, and if they did, they just didn’t care), or staying at someone’s house for the night, or spending (more like wasting) his time in the living room gaming, or reading a good book, or even dancing; but he loved his greenhouse, loved the plants, loved to know he somehow helped to clean the environment of this foggy city.
But foremost, he loved the relief it brought to his mind; the fact Kibum was slowly getting out of the painful side of his heart, only to be remembered as a though stage of his youth, getting replaced by his love for plants. ‘So this is what they call moving on, perhaps?’
He gazed down at his milkweeds, some yellowish flaws had appeared into some of the buds; when Taemin approached them, and he took one of the bundles and picked those tiny seemingly yellow balls.
He soon realized those weren’t just yellow tiny balls, as soon as his finger touched one of them the rest of the balls scattered and started running away; he threw the lettuce to the ground, disgusted, and then proceeded to kill all those annoying things -whatever they were -with his fingers or feet.
“Where was that pesticide I made Minho hyung buy, again?” Taemin fumed, disgruntled. Rolling his eyes he then remembered he had stocked it somewhere near the kitchen. Now he had to go inside and get it.
He went downstairs; careful enough not to mess around with nearby trash bins, and got inside. As far as he could recall he was technically alone in the house, with perhaps Jinki in the kitchen preparing food for both Taemin and Kibum (if he hadn’t left already) so he guessed it was okay to just get in, instead of knocking the door just to make his presence know. ‘It’s not like there will be people getting it on in my kitchen floor anyways’ he thought.
So he just opened the wooden door, and much to his dismay, it seemed some people were pretty much having it on in his kitchen; Taemin at first didn’t notice was actually going on, but when he did, he nearly had a heart attack.
“----!”
“Oh, hey, you two are her-HOLY SHIT HYUNG-” Taemin almost yelled in panic, immediately covering his mouth, apologizing to the two people in there. “I mean, oh my god, I am so sorry I should have knocked the door but seriously guys I should go now, right?” He bowed and then quickly ran away to his room; slamming the door shut, he jumped into bed and curled himself up, hyperventilating. Those stupid yellow dots could wait a day more, after all. Who cared about lettuces and milkweeds?
“The fuck was that?” he silently asked to himself. Not quite knowing what to do.
Taemin quickly grabbed his phone, which was lying on the desk, already on his way to text Jiyong or Minho or Jonghyun or Jinki or just anyone who happened to be first on his contact list. He then dismissed the idea as a very stupid one, because, for one, it wasn’t like he had the right to boast aloud about Kibum and Amber’s relationship when she supposedly was Henry’s girlfriend, and, for two, it wasn’t like they were exactly getting it on…rather just making out shamelessly??
The fact his hand trembled, needing to text something on the keyboard, didn’t help either. He then decided to just text something totally different from the original topic. Taemin opened the Contact list of his phone and decided to text some random person.
“Taeho yah” he read aloud. Yeah, that should do it. Breathe, Taemin, breathe. It’s not the end of the world.
‘hzxjdh
Almost a minute later, a reply came.
‘Sorry? ^^||||’
‘It’s helpless…I am going crazy’
‘Hyung…why won’t you just move on?’
‘Do you think I wouldn’t have already if I had the chance?’
‘Then you could talk to him about it’
‘Never in hell will I ever tell him that!’
‘Then I don’t know what you should do…what’s exactly what gets in your nerves, though?’
‘He and his gf are all over each other’
‘tell him how you feel about it, then’
‘I can’t’
‘Why?’
‘I cannot begin explaining why…’
’How come?’
‘I somehow…liked it when it happened?’
‘Is it Lust?’
‘Yeah…kind of…can we hang out tonight?’
‘Sorry…have school to attend tomorrow…’
‘Oh, I see…sorry about that’
Taemin didn’t wait for an answer after that; closing his cell phone and after stuffing it inside his bag, he lied on the mattress motionlessly, staring at the ceiling. He then covered his face with a pillow, smacking it a few times, and then he screamed with all the power the long-time kept feelings gave him.
-
“I think we upset him” Kibum whispered worriedly, as if fearing Taemin would actually hear him. Amber just rolled her eyes.
“What ever made you think that?” she asked, annoyed.
“He slammed his bedroom door” Kibum pointed out serious.
“No shit, Holmes” Amber quickly replied in English.
“Taemin always slams the door shut when he is angry” Kibum replied, still unnoticing of the unbelieving look Amber shot him.
“There should be a law that prohibits you from saying stupid things” Amber snapped, slapping Kibum’s shoulder.
“Ouch! What for?” Kibum whined “Besides, it’s not like I notice every time I say stupid things…”
“That’s why you should just shut up…you know, just to make sure you don’t say anything idiotic at all” she replied, almost bursting into laughter.
“I am very offended by your words, young miss…” Kibum whined.
“Whatever” Amber rolled her eyes. “We should walk away from here, or else it’s gonna become awkward”
“No” Kibum stopped Amber on her tracks. “I think it might be better if we talked to him…”
“Why?”
“Because, well…he’s upset, I get that but… uhm, it has gotten worse these past days…” the young man revealed. “He’s moody, and he gets stressed easily and I don’t know what to do anymore, Am…” he stammered the floor with his fists. “I feel like I am losing him, he just seems so distant and indolent it hurts me to no end, he has stopped smiling genuinely too…”
“Have you tried talking to him?” Amber asked, concerned.
“Well, kind of…okay, not really…” Kibum replied. “I am scared, Am; I am scared of what he might say if I ever ask him what’s going on…besides, I don’t really know, but I believe he thinks we all think he’s fine, that it’s just a phase, but honestly speaking I don’t remember being that gloomy back in the day, nor can I recall if any of my acquaintances got that depressed either…”
“It isn’t the same, Key…” Amber caressed Kibum’s head reassuringly. “At his age, you weren’t a celebrity…when you were his age you could still live a normal life, while he can’t”
“I can understand that” Kibum conceded. “But he wasn’t like this before, you know what I mean? He has always been a cheerful child who always had a smile drawn in his lips”
“What about the others?” She embraced him, and Kibum just buried his face in her neck, exhaling the sweet aroma. “What have they told you? What are their thoughts on this?”
“I don’t know, okay!” Kibum yelled, angry at himself and at so many things he couldn’t possibly think logically anymore. “Minho acted like a bothersome butt hurt bitch and started ranting and telling lies on how much of a cynical person I was when I first asked, also he keeps on putting up the most nonsensical bullshit I have ever heard in my whole life and Jinki and Jonghyun keep buying it, not sure if they are really that stupid or they just really don’t care at all…Jonghyun is over the fucking moon with Sekyung and Jinki…I don’t know, that guy is just so freaking weird I gave up on him a long time ago; and I should shut up now because now it looks as if I despise all of them when in reality I love all those idiots so fucking much oh my god”
“It’s okay, darling” Amber soothed, tracing circles in Kibum’s shoulders. “Just speak your mind”
“It would be better if I just hated them all” Kibum sighed. “Or if I just didn’t care at all, instead of having me all worked up on them because holy shit I just care a lot”
“And what are you going to do about it?” Amber questioned, loving how worried her boyfriend seemed.
“I don’t know, and now I just worsened the things even more”
“Then try fixing them up, so that in the end you can at least say you tried” she resolved.
“I love you lots okay”
“I love you too, noona” she mocked. Kibum just told her to shut up and kissed her full in the lips, sweet and soft.
After they broke apart, she laughed loud and clear enough for Taemin to hear, which made his heart sunk even more at the simple thought of the lovebirds making fun of his clumsiness and stupidity. He felt like a loser.
-
A knock in the door.
No response.
Another one, two, three four.
“What do you want, hyung?” Taemin spat out bitterly. “The door’s open, if you wish to come in”
A very hesitant and embarrassed Kibum entered the bedroom, and Taemin just felt like puking. The elder carried along a big bag of barbeque-flavored potato chips (Taemin’s favorite flavor by the way).
He stood by the door frame motionless, still unsure about what he exactly was going to say.
“Again, if you are just here to waste my oxygen then you can feel free to leave” Taemin said. “I am busy doing homework”
“I, uh…Are you upset?” The elder scratched his neck uneasily.
“Why would I?” Taemin replied, not even bothering to lift his gaze from the textbook he was reading. “Really, I just walked in at a very inadequate moment, it was my fault…I should’ve knocked the door before entering”
“Taemin, look at me”
“I said I was not upset! Why would I-?”
“Taemin, I said look at me”
Taemin gave a long, exasperating huff before looking up to where Kibum was.
“What’s going on with you?” Kibum finally asked.
“What do you mean hyung?”
“You have been so down these past days, and I am worried…what is it that has made you like this?”
The youngest just stared at Kibum with a look that was a mixture of both frustration and disbelief.
“You don’t really want to know, hyung”
“Taem…I am asking because I care…I care about you guys a lot, I am concerned about how are you doing…why wouldn’t I want to know?”
Taemin just turned back to his books, his back facing the eldest.
“I am…well, this is the moment of your life in which you realize a lot of things you didn’t even know about yourself…that’s all you need to know”
“Are you feeling lonely?” Kibum asked, concerned; aware of how much Taemin missed his family and friends. “I can understand how you must be feeling…I miss my grandmother and my parents a lot too…”
“Yes, I am…but that’s not it”
“Then what is it?”
“I said you don’t really wish to know”
“Taem, please tell me…you know you can always come to me…”
“No”
“Not even the smallest detail?”
“No”
“Are you mad at me?” Kibum asked; pain evidently present in his voice. Taemin gasped.
“Never…you are very special to me…I would never get mad at you”
And that was it. Kibum steadied up and threw the snack bag aside; turning to the other side, he was about to leave the room until Taemin asked worriedly.
“Why are you leaving, hyung?”
Kibum stopped in his tracks, somber.
“You say you love me…yet you can’t trust me…how am I even supposed to believe that?”
“Because I truly mean it”
“Those are only words…words are very easy to say”
“You know I love you, Kibum hyung” Taemin tried concealing.
“Yet I am the one who has to beg you to talk…because you obviously won’t talk by yourself” Kibum replied bitterly. “It’s your problem, and still I chose to help you…but you are so stubborn you won’t let anyone else help you…”
“But I-”
“I’ve had enough, Taemin…if you are that reluctant to speak up your mind to me then I guess you can to cry on Minho’s shoulder, because seemingly he is someone you can freely talk to”
Taemin closed his book loud enough for Kibum to flinch.
“I talk to him because he’s more open minded than you”
Kibum turned his head back to Taemin.
“What does that even mean?” he asked hurt.
“Just go”
Kibum rolled his eyes, he then walked to the door and slammed it shut hard enough for some pictures Taemin had hanged on his walls fall down.
-
Jonghyun woke up from the nap he was taking on the couch at the irritating sound of the doorbell; quickly groaning a response with something along the lines of ‘I am coming’ he stood up, looked around for his shoes, and then proceeded to approach the entrance.
Not long before he got to open the door another ring was heard and then another and a next one and another one after that.
“What do you want Kibum?” he snapped annoyed.
“Where’s that tall fucker?” Kibum yelled.
“Huh?” Jonghyun asked dumbfounded, still half asleep.
“Where’s Minho?”
“Why would I know?”
“He’s in here, right?”
“I suppose…”
Kibum didn’t ask for any permission to enter the apartment, he just pushed Jonghyun aside and headed towards the bedrooms.
Minho was alone in Jinki’s room, playing some dumb videogames.
Kibum slammed the door open, much to Minho’s surprise.
“You are going to tell me now why is that bastard playing emo drama queen and you are going to tell me now or else I am fucking going to skin you alive and don’t act surprised Choi Minho you know what I am talking about and you also know I won’t ever doubt a second about the skinning you alive part!”
“The fuck??” Jonghyun asked, mad and confused.
“Go away! This hasn’t got anything to do with you!” Kibum nagged, slamming the door shut in Jonghyun’s nose. Jonghyun groaned, walking away back to the couch, trying to catch some more sleep.
“You are a jerk” Minho sentenced.
“Sometimes” Kibum replied.
“I am not telling you anything”
“We’ll see then”
“If Taemin’s’ not saying a thing, then why should I? It’s not my thing to tell”
“Just spit it out, will you”
“He’s sad and troubled”
“Yeah, I got that already”
“It’s partially your fault”
“Why so?”
“Don’t worry; it’s also the society’s fault I suppose…”
“Tell me”
“He believes he’s a monster”
“Why?”
Minho arched an eyebrow.
“You tell me, Kibum” the tallest replied, obviously starting to get annoyed. “What have you told him?”
Kibum blinked, he had no idea what exactly was going on.
“What if Taemin turns out to be something that makes you want to gag? What if you happen to find out he is someone so disgusting he should rot in hell? Huh?” Minho’s voice was venom, venom that sent erratic chills of fear to Kibum’s brain, venom that burned his skin and ripped his heart painfully enough to asphyxiate him to death. “Would you kill him? Would you tell everyone else about it? Would you send him to a mental? What would you do, Kibum?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about”
Minho took a few steps closer to Kibum; reluctant to break the eye contact, he cornered Kibum and in a low voice hissed:
“What if I told you” he started. “That the only one he is afraid of is you? What if I told you that you are the one who is rotting his heart by not accepting him for who he is?”
“But I haven’t done anything! I swear I didn’t do anything wrong?” Kibum cried out.
“Then what about being homophobic? Isn’t that a wrongdoing?” Minho bit back. Kibum swallowed hard.
“I don’t- I- You must be kidding, I don’t get it”
“Just what you have heard…go figure it out yourself”
“Is he…?” Kibum cut off the sentence before ending it, to which Minho nodded. “Oh”
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Free Web Counter