Fic - I Think I've Always Known - Brittana

Nov 30, 2010 09:29

Title: I Think I've Always Known
Pairing: Brittany/Santana
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kissing Brittany was never a big deal, until, you know, it was.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything related to Glee, just my ideas.
Author's Notes: Please ignore the cheesy title. This is mostly a character study...kind of? Thanks for reading!


---

When they're fourteen, kissing Brittany just happens. Santana doesn't make a big deal out of it. She doesn't feel a tingling in her chest, and there aren't firework or bells going off in her head. But it does feel natural. It kind of feels like breathing, and she doesn't want to stop. But again, it's not a big deal.

---

They kiss sometimes in the locker room, when Quinn has dismissed everyone, and coach Sylvester is back in her office. When it's just the two of them, and Brittany has one arm in her top, and she's stuck. Santana smiles, leans towards her friend, and helps Brittany untangle herself. The blonde smiles at her, and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. Santana's grin doesn't leave her face until she gets home, and there's a note on the refrigerator saying she has to prepare her own dinner.

Brittany comes over that night, and brings pizza. They eat while watching The Notebook, and Brittany curls into her side and asks if she's crying. Santana Lopez doesn't cry. But she wipes at her eyes anyway (allergies okay?) and pulls Brittany up and into a desperate kiss. She's not sure whether it's because of the movie, or the car missing in the front driveway, but Brittany doesn't question her.

Santana leads them upstairs, but Brittany's the one to slide her Cheerio top over her head, and pat the bed once she's lying on top of it. Santana just stares for a little bit, and wonders how they even got to this point. She doesn't have to be told twice though, and she's discarding her own top, along with her bra, and then suddenly they're kissing. Brittany is clutching desperately to Santana's shoulder like she's afraid she's going to get up and leave at any moment. And Santana wants to laugh at that, because really, shouldn't she be thinking that? But then Brittany is whispering I love you into her ear, and she has to stop herself from being the one to run away.

Santana doesn't really know what 'making love' is, exactly. But she's pretty sure they come pretty close to it. She at least felt something deep inside her chest, and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't a burning feeling.

They continue sleeping together, until sophomore years comes around and Noah Puckerman asks her out. She says yes right away, because that's what is expected. Though, she doesn't expect it when Brittany stops talking to her for three weeks, and ignores her at school. The burning feeling in her chest returns, and she can't say she's surprised.

---

The thing with Puck is never anything more than sex. He was the best friend she needed when Brittany still wouldn't pick up her phone after a month and a half. He was the one she went to when she needed a shoulder, and her dad was too busy at the hospital, and her mom was out with her friends. He had always meant something to her, but she never actually felt anything when they would sleep together. Nothing more than she already felt, at least. She knew she was supposed to.

---

It's November; exactly two months after Brittany stopped talking to her and she sees the blonde walking towards her. She looks back at the mirror in her locker, pretending like she doesn't notice, like she hasn't imagined this moment every night for the past two months. She hears a soft hey, San, can you help me with my Math homework tonight? Santana says yes faster than she has the right to, and Brittany's smiling at her like she knew what the answer was going to be before she even walked over here. Santana slams her locker shut, and links their arms together, leading them to their next class. She ignores the curious expression Puck has on his face when they pass him, and lifts her head up high. She has her best friend back.

---

In January her parents buy her a Volkswagen Jetta for her sixteenth birthday. It's the three of them, and Brittany out to dinner, and Santana is happy. Her parents are smiling at each other for once instead of arguing, and Brittany's leg is pressed warmly against her own, their hands clasped together underneath the table. It's the first birthday since she was nine that she hasn't felt like crying.

---

She breaks things off with Puck in March, during their spring break. He acts like he doesn't care, but she can see in his eyes that he's at least a little bit wounded. She hugs him gently, and tells him that at the last football game, she saw Quinn eyeing him. His eyes light back up again, and he's back to his old self in an instant. He points behind her and she turns to see Brittany walking towards them from the sidewalk. He winks at her and leaves them alone.

Brittany has two popsicles in her hand, and gives one to Santana - a bulletpop, her favorite. Instead of eating the popsicle, Santana leans forward and presses their lips together, licking at the sticky sweetness coating Brittany's mouth. Brittany moans softly and Santana pulls back with a sincere smile on her face. She feels a fluttering in her chest, and she's pretty sure Brittany has the same look on her face when Santana whispers I love you. Brittany doesn't say it back, instead she presses a hand against Santana's chest; feels her heart beating rapidly, and says, I've always known.

Santana's pretty sure she's always known that as well.

fanfic

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