It took me nearly six hours last night to make a few tables in Excel, and it should have only taken me about 45 minutes. I'm fairly certain that I'm retarded. But thank you guys for never really calling me out on it. All that often. Okay, for not being mean about it when you do.

I don't think the real Indiana Jones would have been upset if I had mistakenly called him Steve Irwin.

I never pegged you as the one to bail.

So I've worked for the Dead Mobster for almost three years now, and today as I was standing in the alley looking back over the line I think I saw an amazing sight. The fryer, where everything in the entire restaurant is fried, has a name. It's called.....The Fryalator. How fucking amazing is that name? I'm fairly certain angels sang the day it ( Read more... )

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Wanted: One electriction (or just a brave soul) to help me sabatoge one simple, fucking streetlight.

No experience necessary.

Job Location--Lakeview Oaks

Compensation--my undying gratitude, two brownies, and a kiss on the check (depending, of course, on the quality of the work)

I'm totally jealous of the baton girls at USF.

PS. I think I have an unhealthy attraction to Rocky.

Pilates 1, Cathryn 0.

It's on like Duck Hunt.

Fucking halarious. Classic, really. A picture is worth a thousand words. Match point.

Rest Well, Josh.
You were a hell of a man.