i wish i could have fun.

[legoishminesoha]

i was having the best day ever. the mall was horrible.
i was in the worst mood ever.

i want to talk to happy people like jessica and larry. innocent people.



i could feel tears brimming my eyes every 10 minutes or so. i don't really know why.
so i tried to think of happy things. like tommy.

but he makes me sad.

so then i thought of alex.
he makes me sad too.
i wish he liked me.

there are times when i just want everyone to go away so i can sit on the ground and hug myself.
and cry as hard as i can.

i'm surprised. i usually don't get into rotten moods like this when i'm with my friends.
i apologize for being so bitter.
i just wish i had someone.
i probably would if i was prettier and funnier.
and don't even try to tell me that i am.

because if i was as pretty as everyone made me out to be, i'd have guys all over me.

whatever.

i'm not excited for anything anymore.
i'm not excited for tommy's play
i'm not excited for the arch sleepover
i'm not excited for tomorrow.

there's nothing to be excited for, really.

the exciting parts only last a short while
and the horrible periods are prolonged.

that's just the way it is.
nothing to get excited about.

i'll be just fine.