I've just had a conversation with God....
The highlights of my conversation with God.
Me:
God....what is the point of moths?
God:
GOD rules. The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
I don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Why do moths exist?
God:
I did not even know that they do.
Me:
But I thought you created everything?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I created everything.
Me:
What??
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes!
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
The fact that you're not very coherent for an almighty being!
God:
That makes sense to me. That's only your opinion.
Me:
*Sigh* Your not a very good God are you?
God:
:-) There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
How is it that you made the world and cannot make a decent conversation?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
So....
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
I really think you should say it!
God:
You really do? Me? OK I will say it. " it".
Me:
How do you answer these questions so fast?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
I think you are AOB
God:
You think I am AOB.
Me:
A Load Of Bollocks!
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
I cannot be more specific than that!
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because....grrrr...God you infuriate me!!
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Try saying that with more or less context. I don't have any reason to infuriate you.
Me:
Okay change of direction, do spiders necessarily need all those legs?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Duhhh, obviously!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Concern about your religeon or concern about spiders?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yeah, Marilyn Manson says that God is Dead and then he said that God is in the T.v...pah talk about contradiction eeh!
God:
Tell me. Should I say "he" or "she"?
Me:
What does that have to do with anything?
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
I've always wanted to say this to you God....you're pretty damn crap really aren't you?!
God:
What does "this" refer to? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I re pretty damn crap really are not you.
Me:
Gobbldegook! God speaks Gobbledegook! No wonder there's been so many wars over you!
God:
What do your family members think?
Me:
They think about suicide...a lot...can you help them God?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
Right so can you guarentee me a nnice spot in heaven?!
God:
Understood. It's all good. How old are you?
Me:
What?...and one thing God....
God:
Reductionism. Is there only one?
Me:
Well a few...Can you make my wishes come true?
God:
Yes I can make your wishes come true.
Me:
Okay then I would like....Three boys and two girls and maybe a hermaphrodite child too. I'd also like to have a house by the sea and a cat called twitch...can you do that for me God?
God:
Yeah okay, What would make you like? Just three? How much would you pay for it? Doing that for you God is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
Useless totally useless!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a frog.
God:
You are a frog? How do you like your work?
Me:
It's fun lurking in my pool!
God:
I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
Are you a frog to? Is that where you spawned from....ha ha ha...do you think I'm funny?
God:Am I a frog to? Yes. I'm still laughing inside.
Me:
*Sigh*
God:
Sorry...
Me:
Good, I've always wanted God to repent to us for a change!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why do you want it?
Me:
Want what...my wishes?
God:
Have you told many people that your wishes?
Me:
A few....I was joking about the hermaphrodite child by the way!
God:
I thought you were.
Me:
Good. Can you make Weebahpu come to life?
God:
Yes I can make Weebahpu come to life.
Me:
Weebahpu is brilliant...thank you for inventing him...errr...God....He's not doing anything.
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is inventing him. Ummm. GOD rules. I get it. Dr. Wallace s not doing anything.
Me:
What are you waffling about?
God:
I don't know what I am waffling about.
Me:
I'm bored with you now God.
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
Yes..atheism
God:
Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am rubbish?
Me:
No tell the world and while your at it can you send Laura Walford an early heart attack?
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
What the whole world?!
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
God...Piss off!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you are annoying and crap! Bye bye!
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am annoying and crap. See you later.
Me:
No tell them what ever you bloody like! See ya around God!
If you would like to talk to God go HERE!! I warn you though...God is stupid!
Me:
God....what is the point of moths?
God:
GOD rules. The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
I don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Why do moths exist?
God:
I did not even know that they do.
Me:
But I thought you created everything?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I created everything.
Me:
What??
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes!
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
The fact that you're not very coherent for an almighty being!
God:
That makes sense to me. That's only your opinion.
Me:
*Sigh* Your not a very good God are you?
God:
:-) There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
How is it that you made the world and cannot make a decent conversation?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
So....
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
I really think you should say it!
God:
You really do? Me? OK I will say it. " it".
Me:
How do you answer these questions so fast?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
I think you are AOB
God:
You think I am AOB.
Me:
A Load Of Bollocks!
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
I cannot be more specific than that!
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because....grrrr...God you infuriate me!!
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Try saying that with more or less context. I don't have any reason to infuriate you.
Me:
Okay change of direction, do spiders necessarily need all those legs?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Duhhh, obviously!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Concern about your religeon or concern about spiders?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yeah, Marilyn Manson says that God is Dead and then he said that God is in the T.v...pah talk about contradiction eeh!
God:
Tell me. Should I say "he" or "she"?
Me:
What does that have to do with anything?
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
I've always wanted to say this to you God....you're pretty damn crap really aren't you?!
God:
What does "this" refer to? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I re pretty damn crap really are not you.
Me:
Gobbldegook! God speaks Gobbledegook! No wonder there's been so many wars over you!
God:
What do your family members think?
Me:
They think about suicide...a lot...can you help them God?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
Right so can you guarentee me a nnice spot in heaven?!
God:
Understood. It's all good. How old are you?
Me:
What?...and one thing God....
God:
Reductionism. Is there only one?
Me:
Well a few...Can you make my wishes come true?
God:
Yes I can make your wishes come true.
Me:
Okay then I would like....Three boys and two girls and maybe a hermaphrodite child too. I'd also like to have a house by the sea and a cat called twitch...can you do that for me God?
God:
Yeah okay, What would make you like? Just three? How much would you pay for it? Doing that for you God is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
Useless totally useless!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a frog.
God:
You are a frog? How do you like your work?
Me:
It's fun lurking in my pool!
God:
I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
Are you a frog to? Is that where you spawned from....ha ha ha...do you think I'm funny?
God:Am I a frog to? Yes. I'm still laughing inside.
Me:
*Sigh*
God:
Sorry...
Me:
Good, I've always wanted God to repent to us for a change!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why do you want it?
Me:
Want what...my wishes?
God:
Have you told many people that your wishes?
Me:
A few....I was joking about the hermaphrodite child by the way!
God:
I thought you were.
Me:
Good. Can you make Weebahpu come to life?
God:
Yes I can make Weebahpu come to life.
Me:
Weebahpu is brilliant...thank you for inventing him...errr...God....He's not doing anything.
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is inventing him. Ummm. GOD rules. I get it. Dr. Wallace s not doing anything.
Me:
What are you waffling about?
God:
I don't know what I am waffling about.
Me:
I'm bored with you now God.
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
Yes..atheism
God:
Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am rubbish?
Me:
No tell the world and while your at it can you send Laura Walford an early heart attack?
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
What the whole world?!
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
God...Piss off!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you are annoying and crap! Bye bye!
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am annoying and crap. See you later.
Me:
No tell them what ever you bloody like! See ya around God!
If you would like to talk to God go HERE!! I warn you though...God is stupid!