(no subject)
Ages and ages ago I once mentioned that I had come across the bestest crackfic ever, a Edward Cullen/Sarah Palin story. EDWARDSPARKLEPANTS/SARAH PALIN. It is epic. To whomever I promised the link and anyone else interested (umm, ALL OF YOU), enjoy.
A letter from Edward to Sarah
Can you recall the day we first met? I still see it with such clarity. Emmett and I were hunting grizzlies on the North Slope, and there you stood, rifle to shoulder and eye to scope, the muzzle pointed straight at the heart of one of the larger Kodiaks just waking from its slumber.
You woke me from my slumber, as well. I paused, caught your delicious scent on the air (L’air de Temps? But not that day.) and then we both turned, I with my perfect sight seeing your chocolate brown eye through your rifle’s scope, you witnessing my pale, perfect white skin, skin that made the freshly fallen snow appear dirty in comparison. You saw me clearly then, as you see me now for I am laid bare before you. The bullet that pierced the bear’s heart may have pierced my own.
When you strung its dead body into a tree and cut it open with such vigor, something stirred inside me, something I imagined long dead. As you made a deal with the oil men with whom you were hunting, it seems I made a deal with the Devil. But then, we know that I already had.
A letter from Edward to Sarah
Can you recall the day we first met? I still see it with such clarity. Emmett and I were hunting grizzlies on the North Slope, and there you stood, rifle to shoulder and eye to scope, the muzzle pointed straight at the heart of one of the larger Kodiaks just waking from its slumber.
You woke me from my slumber, as well. I paused, caught your delicious scent on the air (L’air de Temps? But not that day.) and then we both turned, I with my perfect sight seeing your chocolate brown eye through your rifle’s scope, you witnessing my pale, perfect white skin, skin that made the freshly fallen snow appear dirty in comparison. You saw me clearly then, as you see me now for I am laid bare before you. The bullet that pierced the bear’s heart may have pierced my own.
When you strung its dead body into a tree and cut it open with such vigor, something stirred inside me, something I imagined long dead. As you made a deal with the oil men with whom you were hunting, it seems I made a deal with the Devil. But then, we know that I already had.